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my mom and dad are STRICT!
My mom and dad just recently took my phone away[yesterday] they yelled and yelled!They say they can't "trust" me and they also said if I told a fib about texting after 8 I would lie about anything.I am getting my punishment today but last night they went through my whole entire phone. How do I show them that they can trust me again? P.S. It is super hard to be a "good girl". What do I do? *help*
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Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
This is a tough question to answer. As someone old enough to be your grandparent I'll give it a try.
You think your parents are strict, making your life miserable because they don't trust you. Part of the problem may be a trust issue; there is a bigger issue at hand. That is the issue of being a parent.
For the moment put yourself in place of your parents. What they see is someone they love more than anything in the world, someone they would walk to hell and back for if necessary. They have brought a child into this world for who they have the responsibility to raise so that he/she can some day make their own way in the world.
Children do not come with handbooks. Parents learn on the job. Partly by falling back on what the learned from their parents, as they were raised and from what they learn as they walk the mine field that has become life today.
By giving you parameters, such as no texting after 8 they are helping you prepare for later life. By helping you see what having self control and self reliance means. To prioritize so that what needs to be done gets done in a timely manner and not rushed just so that its completed. Doing something in a timely manner means doing it right. These are just some of the responsibilities a parent takes on when they decide to have children.
Then there are the nightmares; they come when the child gets older and wants a certain amount of freedom. This is where trust comes in as does curfews.
It is unfortunate but I think we have all read about or know of some one in school that never made it home one night. This is the parents worst nightmare. To hear a knock at the door and find two police officers there advising them they need to go to the hospital. If there lucky their child has only been injured, if not they are going to be asked to identify the body of their child.
As a firefighter I have pulled more teenagers from wrecked cars than I've fought fires. I've listened to parents ask me if their child suffered and hear them cry; "why didn't they call me, I told them I would always come and get them." These are the nightmares, these are the trust issues."
It is not the fact that you texted after 8 that bothers them, it is the fact that you defied them on something so small they feel that when it comes to the bigger issues in life you will defy them again thinking you can get away with just once. Then they may have to confront their biggest nightmare.
Hopefully you now understand that it is more than a trust issue but earning back their trust is still important. To earn back their trust the first thing you need to do is sit down with your parents and thank them for being strict. Yes thank then and say you now understand why they are the way they are. You can ad if you want that a kindly old man took the time to explain dome things to you. You go on to say that now that you understand that it is not meanness but concern for your well being behind their strictness, you can deal with it better.
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Well the only way you can get their trust back is by trying your hardest to be that "good girl". I'm sure you're really good but maybe to try harder and up to their standards. I think that would be the only way to get them on your side. Try being the best you can be to earn their trust back. Good luck!
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The only way to earn your parents' trust is to, well... earn it. You have to just suck it up and be as good as you can.
It's not all that hard to be a good girl. I managed to make my way through high school with one missed curfew, zero drinking outside my parents' house, great grades and a lot of good times. It's just a matter of associating yourself with people who don't look for fun in the wrong places. Do your homework and chores, show your parents that you're trying to change your stripes, and they will come to trust you with time.
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