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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

i need to know how to actually aask your parents if you can go to a sleepover and get their mom to talk to my mom

Unless things have changed in the last decade or three it is usually just as simple as asking.

"Mom, I've been invited to a sleepover at someones house on Friday." "Here is Mrs. Someones phone number if you want to call her." "Is it okay if I go?"

I don't think it should be any harder than that. You gave her the phone number of your friends mother to call and confirm the sleepover and find out if Mrs. someone will be there to supervise and you have asked for permission. Hopefully you have given you mother enough time to check with Mrs. someone so mom can say yes rather than say no because she doe not have the time to check out the sleepover.

Sleepovers are a right of passage. All children and teenagers have them as they grow up. I;m sure mom is just waiting for you to ask to attend one or even ask to have one at your house. So you are not asking fro something mom has never heard about or even participated in when she was your age.

Hello, hopefully I can get a fast reply - it is needed. I've recently broke up with my girlfriend, the only thing is, this is a long distance relationship, she lives VERY far away from me... anyway, I dumped her because she has become far too obsessive, I can't talk to any girls in real life or online, if I do then that means I am automatically cheating on her... she is emotionally blackmailing me because I no longer want her... I can't get in touch with her family so yeah. :/ /Please help?

IF you feel there is any possibility that this girl could harm herself then the right thing to do, if you cannot get in touch with her parents, is to call the local Police. You can get there direct dial number from directory assistance.

You will most likely be connected to the area 911 center. Tell the call taker of your concerns. They will assign an officer to check on her and to meet with her parents.

this happen when my gf sucks it not when i mastrubution

Blood in your sperm is not something to take lightly. The fact that it only happens during oral sex is confusing though not any less concerning.

You need to see a doctor. I know this may be embarrassing to you. If your under 18 your concern is your parents will find out your having sex.

Your concern about your parents finding out can be put on hold for know as you, if you are over 14 can visit a free clinic or your doctor without parental permission or your parents being told of why you are seeing the doctor. You can have total confidentiality with your doctor during your visit, meaning your parents must wait in the waiting room and anything said or found during your visit is confidential between you and the doctor.

Depending on what the doctor finds will depend on what if anything needs to be told to your parents. If the problem can be treated with medications then most likely nothing need be said to your parents. If you need be tested or some type of surgical procedure is required where you will be under general anesthesia then your parents of course will have to know this. As to why you are under going such a procedure is something you and your doctor most likely will discuss before informing your parents.

There are some medical things you can just not hide from your parents. The law is designed to allow you to seek treatment for sexually related illnesses without parental consent or knowledge. You are still the responsibility of your parents to raise and care for. In the event you need to under go a procedure that requires a consent form they will most likely be required to sign it.

hi! female, 18. soo i need serious help. i have had a serious issue with food for about the last 5 months. it started when i became very self conscious about my body and i went on a very calorie restricted diet and lost about 30 pounds then i gained it all back. i am very embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. i binge eat a lot and when im done i feel awful and guilty and ashamed. i have been able to maintain my weight by working out and starving myself after a binge. i know this is very unhealthy but i have no idea what to do. food is seriously controlling my life and im scared its going to get worse when i got to college and it will affect my sports. pleasee help :(

You have an eating disorder, which if not addressed will cause you physical harm. The cycle of binging and starving is causing your body to do things to save itself during the periods of starvation. Add to this the fact that you are athletic or an athlete and the harm you are doing is greater.

The body is designed to save itself from itself. Meaning the two most important systems are you heart and brain. If the body is not getting what it needs to operate properly it will shut down systems in order to operate the most important systems. The first to shut down are the kidneys, then the liver. By this time you should be in the hospital probably on life support.

Am I trying to scare you? Yes and No. Yes because this is what can happen if you do not properly address this problem. No because I want you to address this problem because you need to address it not because I'm scaring you to do so.

You need to tell your parents what you are doing. They may have some idea but may not be fully aware. Then you need to see a doctor for you will need counseling and a proper program to guide you back into proper eating habits.

Actors and actresses have gone through routines of gaining and loosing weight to fit different parts they played. It is only recently that it has been found that this cycle of weight gain and loss has been harmful to them later in life.

What I am trying to say is the sooner you address your eating disorder the less chance of problems now and in the future.

Hi im 14/F and I am wondering if its weird to have your first kiss at a public swimming pool? is that normal?

A first kiss can happen anywhere, at the mall, at a swimming pool or at the movies. There is nothing weird about a first kiss happening at a swimming pool.

So im 14, 5' 3, 98 lbs and i have never had a period. I have been masterbating since i was about 7 would this interfere? Is there any way to speed up getting my first period? I have had discharge for about 2 years and am an A bra. Am i close? I also found some blood about 6 months ago am i normal is something wrong?

Masturbation has nothing to do with your period. Masturbation is a normal part of life.

You are underweight for your height and age. This may be the reason you have not developed more than an A cup breast size. Olympic athletes; Most if not all of them, regardless of their age, are very small breasted. They also do not get their periods. Once they stop training their breasts enlarge and they start getting their periods. Just why this happens I have not researched, I just know it is something that happens to female athletes.

If you are underweight you body is not going to expend the energy it needs to survive by producing hormones it does not need. Being underweight is actually more detrimental for you than being slightly overweight.

If someone is underweight the body will do all it can to survive. It does this by feeding off itself and if need be shutting down different systems until only the heart and brain are functioning. If you are not sure as to what your proper weight should be, then you need to check in with your doctor.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!

i haven't pooped in like 2 days! i can;t get it out! i tried so hard and idk what to do! i tried medimucial and it didnt work, i tried eating fruits and water and it didnt work! i can;t buy anything at the store and i cant go to the doctor and im NOT telling my parents!

PLEASE HELP ME! any suggestions?

thanks!!!!

Not knowing how regular you are I can't tell you if this is a real problem for you. What I can tell you is the advice Zane gave you is correct about toxins and waste build up.

I don't understand why you can't tell your parents about this. Constipation is a medical problem that needs to be attended to by a doctor if normal home corrective actions do not work.

Some reasons for constipation could be a bowel obstruction, which can only be corrected by doctors. Use of drugs, both legal and illegal, which cause the bowels to be come sluggish.

If you are the type of person that goes to the bathroom daily and you have not gone in two to three days you have to tell your parents. If you do not and you continue to be constipated you are going to end up in the hospital emergency room and most likely having to under go life saving procedures. These procedures can be painful and not very nice from a modesty standpoint.

I rarely take vacation time off, because I feel like it's going to the waste :( Finally, I feel overwhelmed and decided to take a week off. Now, nobody can travel with me anywhere, and I feel like if to not take that time off afterall.

My question is, should I just get over my fear and travel alone? if so, where?

Or should I just work and wait until a vacation opportunity arises?

HELP, I'm sooo confused and feel bad that I can't enjoy life and travel cause I ain't got anyone to do it with :(

There are some very nice vacations for singles. You should check out:

Cruises: Many Cruise Lines offer special rates for singles in off season cruises. Cruising is a great way to relax, see some interesting places, be pampered and meet interesting people.

Club Vacations. Look into Club Med or Clubs like them. My son took a club Med vacation and loved it. Met some great women, learned to scuba dive, something he continues to do today and is now a member of a volunteer water rescue team. Like cruising it was an all inclusive vacation other than the scuba diving, which he paid for in advance. Once he landed on their island he paid for nothing out of pocket.

If all you want to do is sit on a beach and relax, eat great food and be pampered. Talk to a travel agent about a Caribbean Island vacation such as Aruba, Jamaica, Bermuda or the Bahamas.

Make sure to buy vacation interruption insurance, and that your health insurance will cover you outside the country. Most of the vacation insurance packages include health coverage and the insurance is inexpensive and well worth the cost.

My life is a wreck. I was naturally just born ugly. My life felt like it was falling apart starting in fifth grade. I had buck teeth, short curly hair (I had extensions then), I was a good foot taller than everyone else(I was 5 foot five, they were 4 foot 5), and I also got acne really early so my face was always a greasy mess. Now, going into seventh grade, I have no friends. I'm terrible at every sport even though I am a "nerd". I have braces, acne, and I'm going to have to get glasses soon. I also wear a back brace because I have a curvature in my spine and if it gets worse I might have to get surgery. I just feel like an awkward lonely loser. All I wanted this year was to be popular. School's starting in three weeks and I really don't want to screw things up this year.
By the way if it helps, I'm twelve, five foot eight and ninety-nine pounds.

There is an old saying about not judging a book by its cover. This saying is appropriate to people too. Beauty is only skin deep. The real you is the person who lies just below the skin. The real you is your personality; the person you are now and the person you will become as you grow older.

With proper medical care your buck teeth will be corrected, the curvature of your spine will be corrected and as you go through puberty your acne along with proper care will go away. Your exterior will change but who you really are should not.

My advise is not to try and be someone you are not. Be the person who resides inside you. Be the caterpillar in the cocoon waiting for the beautiful butterfly to come out. When it does and again it will, keep those who ignored you at arms length for they will never be true friends.

Those who judge you simply on your appearance are not worthy of your time or friendship. When your looks change and they will. The people who are ignoring you now will want to befriend you for many reasons. One of which is your scholastic ability, nerdiness.

Make friends by joining activities that interest you. People with common interest tend to get to know each other on a deeper basis and outward appearances are secondary. Use your knowledge and aptitude to make friends. These friends are of the kind that become life long friends.

If I sound like a parent it is because I am. I am also someone who knows how it feels to be the one left out of the conversations, picked last for games and only friends because I had something they wanted when I was in school.

Dumbell :(
My bf fucked me in my ass and he also came in my ass. It did not drip down to my vagina. Can i be pregnant? Im really nervous!

No you cannot get pregnant unless his stuff enters your vagina. If you are going to do anal sex it is a good idea to use a condom, way to many germs in the anus.

It's the girl that gets harssed again, I need some advice soon. The thing is everyday I get sexually harassed. Its very hard to go through this everyday. The boys that surounded me and totally made me cry don't even go to my school. I've had a boyfriend before ,but the harassing got worse the other boys would ask my bf: did you do her yesterday? Or they'd ask why don't you put her in the bed 2nite? The relationship had to end. I'm so tired of boys doing this to me. What should I do when school starts?

Like I said earlier this is a matter for the Police and school authorities. Just because the boys do not go to your school does not mean the school authorities can not intervene if they are of school age and going to school.

I know you think you should be old enough to handle this on your own but you will have to trust me here. Even though this is happening to you, your parents are the one who have to file the complaints. While the Police will take you more seriously than the school authorities it is your parents that will be taken most seriously.

Talking to these boys yourself will do nothing but cause you more harm. Telling them you are going to go to the police or school authorities will not scare them because they know you will not be taken that seriously. It is your parents, possibly backed up with the treat of a law suit against the school is what it will take in some cases to get the school to take action.

Without a corroborating witness, that is your ex-boyfriend backing up what you say, the Police can only put the fear of god into them and hopefully put a patrol car in the area when you are walking home. School is more of a dictatorship they will act if they feel they need to. Your parents
anger can force them to act.

So tell your parents your afraid to go back to school and why. Let them handle it from there.

My name's Blair and I'm a 16 yr old girl who happens to have ednos (a mix of anorexia and bulimia) and have a self-injury addiction. As my health has deteriorated, my shrink and doctor (with the full agreement of my family) have decided to send me to RTC. I'm very scared. I'm garunteed to be the youngest resident and the farthest away from my home and my friends. How am I gonna do this? I have to go in a week.
Much love and grattitude--

My wife happens to work for a company that is the largest of its kind in this country. They specialize in credentialing the doctors and institutions that care for people who need help as you do.

Many of the residential treatment centers are very nice, some are almost like country clubs. Others are closer to hospital settings. One thing they all have in common is the ability to make you better.

One of the main reasons for going to a residential treatment center is not for punishment. It is to remove you from anything and everything that is enabling anything that may be causing your illness. Yes, endos is an illness. Once the enabling factors are removed the doctors and nurses can work with you and teach you how to overcome the problems that caused your illness in the first place.

Each treatment center has their own program. So don't be surprised or get upset if you are not allowed contact with parents and friends for the first week or two that you are there. This is all part of finding what the enabling factors are. You remove everything then slowly reintroduce different factors that have been proven to be enabling to your type of problem.

During this period you will be learning how to identify and deal with all the different factors that may have caused you to turn to this way of living. Just remember everything they ask of you is for your own best interest. Work with them, trust them and allow them to help you. If you have any issues, especially trust issues with any of them say something to the administrator or coordinator and they will find someone else for you to work with.

Their goal is to make you well. The more you trust them, the better you work with them, the faster you will get well and return home.

The home i was renting was destroyed in a storm which caused a huge oak tree to crash through the house. I lost my place to live with no notice (obviously) and I lost all my belongings due to others stealing my belongings several days after the incident while. Both my husband and I were inside the home and my husband was injured.

The homeowner paid $6,000 for the house but recieved $65,000 from insurance. The landlord was so callous as to not even call to find out if we were alive or dead but he did take pictures for his insurance company. Is there anything legal steps we can take for compensation of our belongings, injuries, or the fact that we got no notice to move and were stuck paying for a hotel for a couple weeks and also other deposits for transfer of service and what not.

i would love to hear some facts to my problem. please only reply if you know for sure that I have a legal case.

As to what the landlord may owe you from his policy would depend on what his policy covers. To find that out you would need to contact his insurance company. Many homeowner policy's cover injuries to others on the property so you may be entitled to some compensation for your husbands injuries.

If you did not have renters insurance and your landlords insurance policy did not cover your belongings then there is not much you can do to recoup any loss for your personal items. Again if his policy did not cover displacement he has no obligation to pay your motel bill. He should return any portion of your unused rent and security deposit.

If the tree was on his property a lawyer might be able to make a liability claim against him. You need to talk to a lawyer about this as these type of claims vary from state to state.

In the future if you are renting a home or apartment talk to your insurance agent about "Renters Insurance". These policies are relatively inexpensive and cover loss due to fire, theft and other natural causes. Most even allow a certain amount of jewelry without a specific rider so your engagement ring and any other valuable jewelry you have might be covered without the need of a jewelry rider.

Hi,

I am 21 years old and I am looking for advice on careers that would fit my personality and interests. I guess the only way to go about this is to tell you about myself :)

I'm a person who loves to learn and understand things and how they came about whether it be a genre of music, a political group ,structures of organizations, or behavior/relationships. Anything
mostly, you name it. I also love to think and create things from scratch whether it be a baked good, a drawing, or just a unique idea that I can somehow bring to life.

I love working with people and ideas, where I can use my abilities to analyze and weigh pros and cons of a particular situation or scenario to realize an idea or goal. I enjoy taking action and envisioning and strategizing as well as conversing with others. I consider myself to be easy going/easy to work with and understanding of others. I enjoy working with diverse people who come from all walks of life. I have a natural bent for project oriented work where I can work within a team to have a greater impact while simultaneously still be allowed to be uniquely me. I am a high energy type of person, and to be honest, I thrive off of some form of chaos/intensity. I have a knack for observing and memorizing people, scenarios, names, and things of the like. I am also pretty good at making information connect from a variety of subjects. I want to experience and explore different cultures and populations and share my experiences and knowledge with others in hopes of them gaining something from it. Overall, I just want to give hope and inspiration to the average person :)

Thanks for reading

Teaching is definitely on occupation that fits you. Another would be a peace corp volunteer, very rewarding not much income.

Not knowing your educational background makes recommending a career somewhat harder. With the proper educational background; project engineering, sales engineering, sales in general and anything to do with major construction.

To experience different cultures and not be involved in major construction work a career on container or cruise ships would offer a good and interesting way to experience different cultures.

Without more educational information this is the best I can offer in the way of advise. Hope I have helped.

16/F I have a friend, whos a girl, we have been very trusting to eachother and respect eachother for that reason so she spent the niqht with me and thinqs qot a little wild when she asked if I wanted to sleep with her. I really was speechless when she asked me this. I said yes and ive always liked her so I decided to qo down on her first (ive never did a qirl before, but ive always been curious). She told me it was a secret and I cant tell anyone so the next day we acted like nothinq happen, but I cant live like that I need to tell her I really like her, but im afraid of rejection so what should I do?

For what it is worth I would say you both had a bi-curious experience "(Ive never did a girl before, but Ive always been curious)." This does not mean either of you are lesbians. You may have liked it more than she did or she may have liked it and does not know how to deal with her feelings.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with experimentation at your age. It is part of finding your sexuality. It is not a time to label yourself sexually.

I have known both boys and girl who have had gay sex all through college and then gone straight heterosexual after college. Why? Simple, for girls it was safer and more available as well as relieving sexual needs. For guys, again the more availability standard applies. On college campuses, at least when I was in college, guys out numbered girls as much as 4 to 1.

We all have sexual urges, this includes teenagers. Same sex, sex is safer, more available and parents think nothing of allowing two or more teenagers of the same sex behind closed doors together. We tend to forget what we were like as teenagers.

My advice is to find a time and place to talk to your friend about what happened. Don't start the conversation with I liked what we did; rather ask her why she asked you and how she felt afterwards. If she asks why simply say you curious as she hasn't said anything since and your just wondering if something is wrong. Then go from there. If she says it wasn't what she expected and doesn't want to do it again leave it at that. If she says she liked it then you can tell her your feelings.

can i get pregnant if my boyfriend fuck me from back side ?not to my front hole?

rainbowcherries' answer is spot on as to your question and proper precautions. I will add if you have never had anal sex before it can be very painfula and cause you harm if not done properly. Use a search engine to research ANAL SEX before you engage in it.

I'm to scared to go back to school.All the boys are amolst bullies to me. They sexually harass me and touch me.One day when I was walking home from school and a bunch of boys surrounded me and saying hey babe your hot why don't you come to my house to smush I say please let me go I want to go home. I take out my cell phone to call my dad and one of them takes my phone and throws it in the street. I try to run but one of them grabs me and slaps me then pushes me to the ground.They all run away. I'm so scared to go back to school how do I deal with the boys harassing me?

You have been sexually harassed. In the United States this is against the law in all 50 states, even for boys as young as your school bullies. Being bullied by these boys is becoming an unlawful act in most states as well.

If you have not told your parents then do so now before school starts. The statue of limitations has not run out and these boy can be punished for what they have done. If you know there names then that too should be told to your parents. All you need is one name, the police will find out who the other boys are.

Yes the police. This is first and foremost a police matter. Then the school authorities need to be notified as the school can take appropriate action. Even though this took place off school grounds you are protected from school bullying and other things that begin at school off school grounds.

You have a right to attend school without fear. These boys have violated that right. Bullying in and of itself has become in recent months something school officials have become very aware of. Schools through out the U.S. have placed severe punishments in place for anyone caught bullying another student. Sexual harassment is a zero tolerance offence as well as a police matter..

Tell your parent, inform your school principal and report these events to the police. While boys may have thought they were just having fun; this was no fun for you. Well it is time they learned the difference between fun and harassment. It's just to bad they will learn the hard way. Please make the proper notifications before you or another girl are actually physically harmed by these boys.

When Me And My Bf Fuck His Dick Always Goes To The Side (With Boner) And Not Straight Like Its Suppose To.... I Told My Friends About This And They Said It Was Beacause He Has Sex Alot Or Cause He Had Sex The Day Before..... I Dont Know What It Is Can Someone Tell Me What's Sup With That??? :/

This is the problem with going to your friends for questions about sex. They don't know what they are talking about so they make up stupid answers. Worse they think your sex stupid and decide to tell you anything but the truth to hurt you.

Your boyfriend is completely normal. You will find with experience that a mans equipment grows in many different ways.

according to my mother. She may disagree, saying I put words in her mouth but this is how I perceive it. I am 20 years old (female) and am only living with her (my parents are divorced) because I cannot afford to move out and am still in university. I feel as though she holds a lot of things against me, like the things she does for me (cooking, a roof over my head). She says I'm selfish, self centred, I only think of myself. I'm not really sure if this is even worth putting up as a question to be honest. I just don't know how much longer I can deal with being told how horrible I am. Yes, I get into fights with my mother, I'm 20 years old. I don't wish to be living at home but I'm a full time student and working part time doesn't pay all the bills. It's my fault. On top of this I put a lot of pressure on myself and don't view myself highly to begin with. We saw a therapist for 2 sessions and I told her tonight I wanted to go back and she said she didn't want to see a woman who tells her I should be able to do whatever I want. I'll admit, I don't treat my mom with as much respect as I should. I'm supposed to just respect someone despite the fact that they are always upset with something I've done (like letting a bowl soak in the sink). I don't clean up to her standards, I do nothing to her standards and she often says "I'd love to see what your place will look like" - how can you say that's just a statement? It's clearly meant to imply she thinks I will live in filth and squalor, although I keep my room very neat. I just feel as though this is once again all about me, because I'm selfish, right? I honestly don't know how much to even write because according to my mother I've "got it good" and I don't realize how lucky I am. Maybe I do. Maybe I'm just a horrible, spoiled person.

Wow. This is one of those one sided questions that you really want to hear the other side too. The therapist said, I'm paraphrasing here, you need to lead your own life. This is true at 20 years of age you should not be totally tied to your moms aprons strings.

You did not say what mom expects or wants of you so it is hard to delve in to what if anything you need to do. Bill paying is not your responsibility unless they are bills you created without her knowledge and permission. Then yes you should help pay them off, that is the responsible and adult thing to do. Monthly revolving bills such as rent, gas and electric and other bills, no.

Why your mom feels you are selfish, self centered, & only think of yourself; you did not elaborate on. Respect is something that is usually earned. As your mother there is a certain amount of respect that goes with the title and you need to give her the respect that she is do as your mother. Leaving a dish in the sink to soak, sure maybe the dish needed to soak, I don't know. How hard would it have been put it in the dish washer, if you have one, or wash it and put it away that way you eliminated giving mom something to blast you on.

I don't think you are a horrible person. I think you are a twenty something trying to deal with getting through school, living with a divorced parent and preparing for life on your own. That in and of itself probably is quite stressful.

Even though mom does not want to continue with therapy I would suggest you continue if for no other reason than to have an outlet for your stress and to have someone who can help you deal with your mother until you are able to move out and start life on your own.

So I'm 20 years old and I live at home with my older sister(21) and my mom(57). We are poor and my sister and I mostly support the family. My mom is a waitress and she works 4 days a week.my sister and I work more than my mom does and she expects us to give her 200 dollars every two weeks to pay bills. She barely contributes any money. She buys groceries and that's about it. She is depressed and I want to help her but she won't even help herself. She won't find another job or even try to get a better one. I really want to move out but if I do, my mom is probably gogoing to lose her house. If I don't give her money she makes me feel like a horrible person and I can't take it anymore. I don't want to leave her because I love her so much but I just can't deal with this anymore. I am starting to become depressed and my life isn't getting any better. Should I stay or should I go?

I'm sure you are familiar with the expression; "You can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink." This is what it is like living with someone who will not admit they are depressed or that their depression is hurting them or the ones around them. I speak form experience as one who has suffered from depression.

You mother has no reason to admit she is depressed for you and your sister are in away enabling her. Until she is ready to admit she is depressed she has no reason to seek treatment for her depression. Most people with illnesses such as depression, alcoholism and drug use have to hit rock bottom before the will admit they are ill. You and your sister are, by your supporting her, are keeping her from hitting rock bottom. At least in my view from what you have written.

Their are support groups you and your sister can attend for family members of people who are depressed. Use a search engine to find them.

Only you can decide whether to stay or go. The questions you need to ask yourself are:

Is it in moms best interest that I stay and continue to enable her depression?

What is in my best interest?

If I leave will I be able to be their for her and help her when she hits bottom?

Last but definitely not least; Do I deserve a life of my own?

Once you answer these questions you will know whether or not you should move out.

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