about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I had sex on a Saturday morning and took a plan B pill Monday. I have had burning urination for the past 2 hours and it is now Tuesday. Does this mean I have a STD or side effects from the pill? Please help, I need answers but can't let none of family or friends know.

I disagree with smileydino. Some STDs can have signs shortly after contact. It is possible you have a UTI and it is also possible you have an STD.


While it is possible you are also having a reaction to the plan B pill what you need to do is see a doctor immediately. I would suggest you visit an urgent care center or a hospital emergency room.


If this is a reaction to the plan B pill seeking help at an urgent care cent or a hospital emergency room is the proper plan of action. If this is a UTI or STD seeking help in this manner is also appropriate.

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i need advice, i am real shy around women , i can't talk to them and i can't even look at them and how am i going to find the one for me , if i am shy around women and i tried everything not to be shy, even my friends and family tried to help me, what should i do

Roseyapple has some good advice I'll take it I step further. By the way I met my wife in the manner Roseyapple described how she met her boyfriend.


Hobbies and personal interests are great ways to meet people; men and women. The reason for this is similar interest gives you something to talk about. For example lets say you like photography. Join a photography club. There are many women who enjoy this hobby as well as men. Once you start talking about the different nuances of photography a relationship can bloom.


It really doesn't matter what the hobby is or it could also be a church fellowship group. The fear factor is reduced by the level of knowledge and the common denominator of the group. Your on level ground with a common interest.


So forget the bar scene and find a hobby or something that interests you and join a club of that hobby or interest.

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I'm not entirely sure where to begin. I'm a guy and I'm bisexual. There's a good start. I knew I was, well probably forever. Just the whole facing-reality part was taking a while. I'm now sure of how I feel and who I am. My question is how do I tell my family? My Mother is semi-understanding. She works at a college with many gay people. She accepts them, but still makes remarks and doesn't like to see them touching, kissing, etc. My oldest brother is very against gays. He thinks Lesbians are "okay". He's basically a tool. :) He would probably take the longest to be okay. My middle brother, I believe, would be pretty accepting. He's usually an a-hole, but he seems the most likely to be okay. It doesn't make sense I know, but it does if you were me. As soon as I tell them, I think I would come out to my friends, and then my highschool and then my extended family. I have told a few friends and they were completely accepting and it's a great start. But my family, well idk. Could anyone give advice or maybe tell me how their coming out went? Please and thank you!

My advise to kids, male and female, still in high school is not to come out while still in school.


My reason for this is while you think your friends would be okay with this you really don't know.


Teenagers are the most unforgiving and un-accepting of society. What they truly don't understand they don't accept. Example is your brother. He accepts lesbians but not gays, why? Because 2 lesbians getting it on, or two females in general; lesbians, bi or straight. To a guy is a turn on. Two guys having sex is ugly and disgusting to him.


We receive many letters from teenagers, boy and girls, sorry that they came out in school asking for help. My advice is if you haven't already done so then don't. When the time is right, move in College, write back to us and we can discuss the parent issue.


The second reason for my suggesting you wait is this. While you feel this way now you could change your mind later. Teenagers going through puberty explore their sexuality. Same sex, sex is easier and safer in some ways than heterosexual sex. I have none some girls that were bi or totally gay all through college that today are totally straight.


Being gay was easier as it kept many guys from hitting on them once it was known. It was safer for you can't get pregnant and you still relieved the sexual tension. Once they left college they went back to being heterosexual.


So if you think your bi; nothing wrong with that. But wait to come out. It is safer for you that way.

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can cunnilinges gets a girl to orgasm?

No. For a women to get pregnant semen must enter her vagina. To do so a male must ejaculate in her vaginal or very close to her vaginal so that the semen can enter and swim to an egg.


No semen, no pregnancy. In cunnilingus there should not be any semen to enter the vagina.

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so there was this girl that i kinda had a crush on. shes trans. and people bash on both of us almost everyday. im a pretty girl and eveything. boys like me and everything.

but i feel so confused, please help...
i tryed to take my life the other day. because the mean things people were saying, were honestly making me wana die..
:/

I really like what WingYan said; "Labels should be restricted to cans of tuna." Who cares if you're bi or strait, lesbian or gay or transgender. Frankly it is no one’s business but yours and your significant other(s).


In this day and age we should be more accepting of people regardless of color, nationality or sexual orientation. Children, meaning teenagers, can and are not very accepting of those that are different than they are. Their tendency is to bully and shame those that are different. This is wrong and very much at the attention of society at the moment. Bullying has become not only morally wrong it has become legally wrong as well.


If you’re being bullied or harassed in school you need to tell a teacher or the principal. Out of school you call the police. Bullying or harassment because of sexual orientation is a hate crime.


What really bothers me is the fact that you tried to end your life over this. I hope you are being seen by a doctor or therapist for help with this. If you are not I would like you to call this number; 1-800-273-TALK.


This is the National Suicide prevention hot line. It is a 24/7 hot line answered by trained volunteers who are there to help you. They will talk with you and stay on the line with you until either they can send help to you or the can arrange for you to see someone that can help you. Please call them. They are really good at what they do and they can help you.

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I'm 5'5" and 145 pounds. I want to lose 20 pounds

I know you have to exercise, eat healthy and drink water. How long does it take a person to lose 20 pounds exercising and stuff?

I agree with pook's answer as to losing weight. I question why you want to lose so much weight?


Not knowing your frame size I chose a medium frame size and using you height and current weight I calculated your ideal weight range. For your height and weight at a medium frame you would fall between 138 to 149 pounds. Your current weight of 145 pounds puts you just under the top end of that weight range.


To lose 20 pounds would make you underweight which is more dangerous than being slightly overweight, which you are definitely not. Even if you consider yourself small framed you are just 6 pounds overweight, really not that much to be concerned about. A 10 pound weight loss would put you in the middle of the weight range. If you are large framed you are 1 pound under weight. I will provide a link to the weight calculator I used.


I suggest before you start a diet you check with your doctor to see if you truly need to lose weight. Also remember muscle weighs more than fat so if you’re athletic you will weigh more than a friend of similar size as you.


Another thing to consider is that while we as a whole, that is world society, is very concerned about obesity. We are also concerned with people trying to look like film stars. There is such a thing as being too thin and being under weight causes a whole host of problems medically left unchecked, corrected can have a lifelong and life shortening effect.



http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/ideal-body-weight-3146-143.html?2,5,5,145,3

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My boyfriend just admitted to having a gambling problem. I am proud of him for taking the first step by admitting he has a problem and also having himself personally banned from the casinos anywhere in the province we live in. However, we now have no money for food, rent, or bills. I'm debating on whether or not I should tell my parents and ask them for a little bit of money just so we can get some food to tide us over until next payday, but I have a strong feeling that my mom will tell me to leave him and I don't think that's what he needs right now. I want to help him with this! I don't think my dad would be as judgemental, but he doesn't want me to say anything to them...please help! I'm sad, lost and confused! =( Also, what else can I personally do to help him through this?

I'm not sure about a recommendation as to going to your parents for money, I will think about that while I give you some information on help for your boyfriend and you about his addiction.


Gambling is an addiction, just like alcohol. Just like alcohol there is a program out there to help him. The first step in the program is admitting he has a problem.


Having himself banned from all the casinos is a good thing, though someone fully addicted to gambling will bet on anything such as whether the next person through the door will be male or female.


Like those addicted to Alcohol have Alcoholics Anonymous. Gamblers have Gamblers Anonymous with a similar program. These programs do work. My brother in-law is 25 years sober thanks to alcoholics anonymous and his best friend is the cop that put him in the drunk tank and got him into alcoholics anonymous.


Both programs work on the same principal of a 12 step program. As I said and have seen if you work the program you can have a good life free from the demons of the addictions.


While he is getting into the program and starting to work the program, there is a program like al anon for family and friend of alcoholics for the gambler. It is called Gam-Anon. It is a support group for you to help you deal with those things that may bother you or that you need help with in helping your boy friend. I will supply links to both websites.


As to going to you parents for money. Go to them, tell them your BF has joined Gamblers Anonymous, if he has, as this is a plus. Ask them for a loan, not a handout and set up a repayment schedule even if it is only a few dollars a week at first. You really have nothing to loose.


http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/index.php

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/gam-anon-help-family-friends

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My better half has decided to go on an unusual and strict diet of water and rice. He is 34 years old and around 14-15 stone but would like to be 12 stone.
He works 5 days a week at a local mini supermarket but all he does is have water until tea time when he has one bowl of rice.
It was day one yesterday and the result was he lost 3lb but had no energy during or after work and was feeling faint.
I personally don't think it is good for him health wise and it has already began to affect our communication as he is very quite and a little touchy.
Is there any better diets out there for him that involve him eating more but without putting any weight on?
After work he usually works out upstairs with weights and general stretching.

First: That diet is not only bad for him it can and will hurt him in ways that can cause permanent injury to him. That diet if he stays on it to long will cause an imbalance in his electrolytes which can cause a host of problems. Loosing 3 lbs in one day is to much; he is expending more energy that he is replacing.


Weight in stone tells me you are probably from England. England has National Health Care. When people ask my recommendation for large weight loss I recommend the following:


1. Start with a full physical, then with your doctor’s approval and the doctors monitoring of your weight loss program begin your diet.


2. Meet with a Nutritionist to plan meals and snacks that meet you daily needs, based on your work and exercise routine. To lose weight properly you must have 3, healthy, meals a day and 2, healthy, snacks.


3. Get plenty of exercise and rest.


While everyone is different a proper weight loss is 1 to 3 pounds a week. Men tend to lose more weight than women and everyone will hit a plateau in their program at some point. The goal is not to get discouraged.


Fad diets are just that, fads. They tend to take weight of quickly and just as quickly you regain the weight lost. A proper program as I have written not only safely allows you to lose weight but you do so in a manner that teaches you what proper diet and nutrition is so the weight stays off.



Please talk to your husband and get him to a doctor before this diet does serious harm to him.

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hey i'm comming back from china in 2days and was wondering if i am allowed to bring green tea back to NZ? Any information would be helpful. Thanks.
=)

The best answer to your question that I can think of is to tell you to call the NZ Embassy. Most likely the Embassy is in Beijing. When you reach them ask to speak to someone in Customs and Immigration. They are the ones who will have the answers for you.

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Have recently been dumped by my 50 year old girl friend and she will not tell me the truth why. Naturally I am devastated.
She had accepted my ring, money to save her home etc etc. We never ever met but I was completely honest as she was ? And had been for over 8 months. She still writes, says she wants and needs me in her life but it is very difficult. She is married but very unhappy. I am deeply in love with her and was prepared to buy us outright a home put it in her name and care for her all my life. I am 8 years older than her, retired and well off never having to worry over money. Have I over dine it? Sent too much Money $ 25000 or what. She was my last chance of true happiness. Please no talk of loads more out there. It took me 25 years to find her.

I can tell by the rating you gave voiceofreason you don't wan to hear this but I think you have been scammed. What you wrote sounds very much like something that happened to my neighbor.


When he finally told me what was going on he was about to mortgage his home to send more money to her, to buy her freedom for the country she lived in. I called a detective friend on the local county police. Turns out he was aware of this scam. Not much they could do about it as the money first left the country was laundered out of country then sent to some people in Colorado.



While the FBI and other law enforcement agencies knew what was going on. Not much could be done about it as there was little government let alone law enforcement in the country the money was being sent to.


I can't tell from your writing if this is what is happening to you. The red flags in what you wrote are : "She is married but very unhappy." "Sent too much Money $ 25000?" She had accepted my ring, money to save her home etc etc." "prepared to buy us outright a home put it in her name and care for her all my life.


The last one is the biggest red flag. Did she know about you wanting to buy a home for the two of you and put it in her name? While this would be a major windfall in the scam, if it was a scam it would require her to come and meet you to sigh the papers. IF this is a scam, something I believe it is, meeting you is the last thing she can do as it puts her at risk.


Believe what you want. My advise check with your local police or FBI and find out if they are aware of any type of scam like this. You might be very surprised.

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Hey im a 20 year old female. I've noticed lately that my lower back has been hurting and just been uncomfortable lately. Mainly the right side more than the left. I haven't done anything unusual or out of the ordinary. My job requires me to be on my feet all the time but doesnt require any lifting. Just wondering if anybody has any idea whats going on or if this has happened to you. Thanks for your advice i do rate.

If you were high heeled shoes they are the most likely culprit. Try switching to a shoe with a lower and wider heel or flats.


Ask most any Orthopedist and they will tell you we were never meant to stand erect and because of this we all to some degree suffer from lower back pain. Standing on concrete seems to increase the level of pain in most of us so you might try, if possible putting some padding under you if possible.


If switching to flats does not help you should see a Orthopedist or Chiropractor. A massage therapist or a physical therapist should also be able to help relieve the pain. I would start with the Orthopedic doctor first and get some x rays or MIR studies to make sure there is no nerve involvement then go form there.

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I am a 20 year old boy and i don't know why am i living in this world.I am poor at academics,my friends don't consider me and my mom always scolds me for the silliest of reasons.I don't have any close ones either ,both in boys and girls, to tell how bad i feel at myself.I have been having suicidal thoughts since last year but i don't have the courage to commit suicide either.My friends just use me when they need to get some work done.Even if i share my feelings with someone he shares it with everyone in class and next day im the jackass in the class.every night i sleep thinking that i dont wake up the next day.I dont think my life is going to be successfull and just want to die as soon as possible.please advise

Unfortunately we receive to many letters like yours. Letters like your are really a cry for help which is what your is.


You're 20 years old an adult. You may be living at home while still going to school that does not mean your parents get to treat you as a child. I'm a parent I know what I'm saying so please listen to what I'm writing.


As parents we forget or don't see our children growing up. We have to remind ourselves that our children become adults and when they do our positions change. While we are still your parent, this never changes, we become more of an advisor than just parent. My son is 35 years old a paramedic and a volunteer fire fighter. When he goes off to work or the fire station he does so to saves lives. Still I have to remind myself that he is no longer my little boy that I need to give direction to and correction too. We now have wonderful conversations about different calls that he runs while at work.


You need, as he need to do, to remind your parents that you are not 10 years old. You are an adult now and while you value their advice constant scolding is not their responsibility. Exception: you do live in their home if the scolding has to do with making extra work for mom like leaving things laying about, then that is reasonable. But is it has to do with who your friends might be or what time you stay out to. Then no that is wrong on her or their part and you need to have an adult conversation about this.


As for the other things you wrote about. If you know people are using you then learn to say no. When someone asks you to do something for them say no. When they say he were friends and friends do these things. Your reply should be ; No were not friends you use me and then you abuse me to everyone. So from now on if you want something from me you cannot do yourself it cost money. Then put a reasonable price on whatever their asking of you. Reasonable to you for your time and effort for the project.


Once you finish school and go out into the working world, today's friendships will drift away. You or they may relocate to other parts of the country or world. So don't worry about these guy their still acting as if their still in high school.


Your writing show a reasonable amount of depression for which you should seek treatment. Working with a skilled therapist should help with the depression and other problems you have written about.

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14/f
i have to shave my vag!!! i have done so before but only a little because i get all itchy and get red bumps. How should i shave it without this happening? what is the right way to shave it? thanks so much!

First shaving is an option, not something you have to do. The itching is caused by the hair growing back, nothing you can do about that. The red bumps is razor burn from shaving to close, men get them too. You can try applying good skin lotion after shaving or try not to shave as close as you have been. A little stubble may also cut down on the itching.

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I have been out of work almost 6 months, I am 20/F and only ever worked in retail. I left my job without notice because I was being harrassed and bullied at work by a manager and I am not the sort to seek action about it. What was done was done and I just want a new job, that is full time on a till and dealing with the public.

I am on Job seekers and applied for 24 jobs so far, which is basically the whole town where I live and I am running out of options. I am stuck at my nan's and can't do half the things I would like to.

The only other talent I have is writing and occasionally answering posts on here if I think I can help. However I have problems finishing stories.

What can I do now?

Living in in a small town can be tuff. Leaving a job without notice is not a good thing to do and while you former employer should only say that you did work there. The small town grapevine might tell future employers something else.


First thing to do is update your resume as to why you quit and to acknowledge that you quit without notice for that reason.


Next give some thought as to going back to school either to the local community college for courses in writing or to a vocational school. At the present time the job market seems to have more openings in certain vocations. Give some thought to other lines of work might interest you then look to see what schools there are in your area for training.


One field that is wide open and has good paying jobs is the medical field. Your retail background will help you here as dealing with patients is a lot like dealing with customers. Jobs to look at that require a short time to train for would be Emergency Medical Technician, Medical Office Assistant, Phlebotomist (people who draw blood). Then their are the different machines such as x ray and sonogram machines that you can train on. These are all good paying positions.


If the medical field is not for you there are other fields you can train for that are not the true white collar field. Any vocational, hands on type job, are somewhat recession proof and pay well.


Retail is a field that is more part-time than full time and generally pays just above minimum wage. The real money in retail is at the mega stores in the management area To get there you must be willing to work 80 hours or more a week.


So my advice is to look at what you might like to do for a life's work then get the schooling you need while you are fortunate enough to live with your Nan.

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Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 yrs we've been through a lot including dealing with Erctile Dsynfunction for him at 21 years old. He was addicted to porn and at first it wasnt a problem but he got ED and it became a problem he seeked a urulogist and they said nothing was wrong with him physically that we should probably seek help for porn addiction. I installed a filter in his computer and since then everything was fine sure. I became jealous and paranoid after that about what turned him on. Anyway yesterday we had sex and after sex he usually can't get hard he calms down. We started watching a little kids cartoon The Avatar google it if you dont know and there was a part where the little girl about 12 years old i'd say was drowing in quick sand screaming for help and she was screaming for help i saw my getting a smirk and then i was like whats wrong with you and he was like what nothing? and i was like let me see "down there" and he was hard not fully but almost and i was just disgusted it was a little girl fully clothed from head to toe. I was so digusted i just came home and he said he was turned on. and thats all he would tell me.I just find this so sickening i mean i wouldve understood if she had big breasts and she was older. I don't know what to do i find this sickening that i cant even trust him to look at cartoons?! Is this normal? I just honestly don't wanna go back with him after this i find it sickening. I know he used to watch cartoon porn and thats totally normal because the girls have huge breasts and they are doing sexual acts but this was nothing sexual. What do you guys think?

I think your bf needs to see a pyschiatrist who deals in sexual dysfunction. To get aroused over an adult cartoon okay, over a child cartoon no.


To me, and I'm not a doctor, says your boy friend may have some pedophile issues. I could be wrong and he might not even be aware of these issues in a conscience manner. Still discussing this whith a doctor trained un this area is to my way of thought the proper thing to do..


If your boy friend has ever asked you to dress up as a school girl for sex then it could be a bigger issue. If he has you would be correct to stay away from him.

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hey guys my folks am the eldest one in my family and my folks want me to get married to the girl they choose but i am not ready for it yet i want to study for my boards which is very time consuming as my younger siblings are very much eager to get married and i am sort of a hinderence for their marriage as i come from a orthodox family where the eldest one is supposed to get married first its been really bothering me a lot ...and i am sort of really depressed about it and have absoulutely no clue what to do about it .i respect my parents very much and dont like to hurt them either .

I can't tell for sure from your question what country your from. In some countries religious customs come ahead of personal desire. Honoring ones parents is also a tenant of almost all known religions.


This puts you into a conundrum; follow you religion and tradition or follow the goals that you have for yourself? One thing I noticed is you say nothing about the girl your parents have chosen for you; other than you do not wish to marry at this time. Do you now this girl? Do you have any feelings for this girl?


Tradition, even in modern society, has its place. At some point, tradition causes conflict with goals and concepts of modern society. What you have to figure out is if you are at that point.


If so then you have make a choice. Is this where you and tradition part company? Do you compromise and try and work tradition into your goals that conform to modern society? Do you give in to tradition? No one can make this decision for you; though it is one you have to make and one that comes with consequences.


If you part with tradition you could be parting with your family as well. If you try and compromise, the best description of compromise is something no one likes but everyone can live with, this can leave hard feelings as well. If you give in to tradition you may never live up to the potential or goals you have for yourself. This could cause problems between you and your wife and your family.


In a sense you are in a no win situation since there can almost certainly not be a win/win outcome. My best advice for you is to follow your heart. Do what you feel is best for you. For in the end you are the one who will suffer the most in any of the situations I have envisioned.

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How often should you change your bedsheets.
Obviously they need to be changed if something gets spilt like juice or something but other than that how often should they be changed if nothing gets spilt on them

When I was in the military they had sheet exchange every week. My wife and I change the sheets every other week unless of course one of us has been sick then the sheets are changed as soon as we get better.


If you have night sweets you might want to change the sheets more often. The same goes for those among us that may be more sexually active than others.


I can only speak for myself on this but there is nothing quite like crawling into bed on crisp clean sheets.

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I am a seven year old boy from Pakistan. I have a problem. I have four brothers. One is twenty six, other is twenty four, other is twenty two and the last is twenty one. The problem is that they all mollycoddle me. Not that I mind, but sometimes, it really exasperates me. I have no problem when they hug me (which they do a lot)but they sometimes treat me like a baby, like they won't let me stay up late (we share the same room)and make me eat mounds of food because they think I am 'peaky'. And thats not the only case. I am a real bookworm and Im always reading fiction books. This they disapprove. They want me to go out, socialise and play etc etc. I told them I would go out when I want to but they just laugh at me, as if Im two years old. It really drives me mad.

First: you are to young to be writing to this sight. You need to be 14 years or older.


Second: Your writing is way beyond that of many seven year old's that I have seen. Did you really write this yourself? Your command of the English language is wonderful, better than many that write us.


Third: This is going to be hard to read but this is what being the youngest child is all about. You are really fortunate that your brothers care enough about you to watch out for you in this manner.

While reading and learning is good and I would never stop you from pursuing any interests in learning. It is also important at your age to be outside, playing and socializing with others.


How important is it to be outside playing with others? It can be just as important or to some extent more important than being the smartest kid in the class. If you have not learned to socialize with others how can you expect to work well with others. Working well with others is how you will spend the greatest part of your adult life so it is important to learn how to do so.


My advice: Put down you books for a few hours a day and learn how to play the different games boys your age in India play. Learn how to be a team player. This will help you now as you continue your education and later as an adult.


I truly enjoyed reading your letter. I hope the words are yours and not someone else's writing for you. If these are your words, at seven years old, I see a great future for you. Keep on learning but make time for play.

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I have never been to USA, so I just wanted to know. How's the life in USA ? People's attitude, Government's attitude.... Anything you wanna tell about the lifestyle of people in United States. Thankyou.

Like most countries we have good people and bad people. We have people who think the laws do not apply to them and others that live by breaking the laws.


Where we differ from many other countries is that we are a Constitutional Democracy. This means our government is at the will of people. It may not seem like it sometimes but the rules of law apply to all and eventually those who seek to bend or break the law are punished.


Our Constitution and the Amendments to it guarantees us a great many freedoms. At times some of those freedoms are abused and even work against those of us that are law abiding citizens.


For those who seek to destroy our way of life and the freedoms we enjoy. They look at us as one might look at a spoiled little rich kid. Yes, by the standards they live by we are rich, by many other standards we are not.


Let me explain it this way. Many years ago we had an exchange student from Russia stay with a member of our family. It was a great culture shock to her at first. At first she was convinced that because of her being an exchange student the family members she was living with were afforded extra privileges.


Privileges such as shopping at the supermarket that only the members of the party could shop at. Having one car was really something, having a phone amazed her. Seeing women driving was something she had never before seen. Then to find out the the average family had two and three cars, two phone lines and there were supermarkets on almost every block; well this took awhile for her to absorb and get use to. Her entire life was spent being told these things were not possible and only those in power could have them because of their need for them. It was also enlightening for us to see our world; a world we have taken for granted through her eyes.


I don't know the why of what is behind the reason of those that seek to destroy our way of life. I believe if they had the opportunity to see our way of life through this exchange students eyes; then maybe we would not be fighting this war on terrorism. Understanding is the great equalizer and I commend you for asking your question.

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I've been modeling for years now, wouldn't you think I'm super into myself and love what I see in the mirror? Wrong. I'm SO ridiculously self-concious it ruined my last relationship. I loved my ex boyfriend so much but we rarely had sex just because i was always said no. Obviously I want to because I love him, it's just I can't stand being naked and i have no confidence in the bedroom and he didn't understand that so he left me and it hurts but anyways I was wondering how to become comfortable in my own skin and not be so nervous about getting intimate?

I would say you are typical of what I know of most models. While they are full of confidence fully clothed in front of the camera, naked they are totally self-conscious. Not being a doctor I can't really put a reason to this. If I had to guess it would be that any perceived flaws are hidden by the clothes or corrected by the airbrush and make up.


Two things to think about. First: By the time you and your BF make it to the bedroom to make love he is well past the outer you. The facial beauty and more into the beauty of who the real you is. The person that lies just beneath the skin.


Second: The flaws you think are there or even if they are there for real don't really matter at this point. He is making love to you, the intellectual you. There are plenty of guys out there that can pick up a girl at a party or bar take them home and jump into bed with them. These guys are not making love to the intellectual person, they are making love to the body. Quite frankly if they had not found a girl to bed there fist or a not hole would have been just as good.


When a guy takes the time to get to know you your body becomes insignificant. Sure a beautiful women gets her pick of available men. But less pretty women then you also find partners. Why is this so. Mostly because when a man is looking for a life partner he is looking for more than a sex partner, more than a trophy wife. He is looking for an intellectual equal.


This is why I said if you have taken the time to get to know one another before getting into bed with each other. Your boyfriend is making love to you not your body. He has gone past the physical beauty that first attracted him to you and is now exploring the intellectual and sexual side of you.


The only other thing I can suggest is you seek out a therapist who can better help you with what I have very clumsily tried to say. I truly feel there is nothing wrong with you or your body other than a perception. The problem with perception is that if you perceive something it becomes real.

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