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Boyfriend has a gambling problem
My boyfriend just admitted to having a gambling problem. I am proud of him for taking the first step by admitting he has a problem and also having himself personally banned from the casinos anywhere in the province we live in. However, we now have no money for food, rent, or bills. I'm debating on whether or not I should tell my parents and ask them for a little bit of money just so we can get some food to tide us over until next payday, but I have a strong feeling that my mom will tell me to leave him and I don't think that's what he needs right now. I want to help him with this! I don't think my dad would be as judgemental, but he doesn't want me to say anything to them...please help! I'm sad, lost and confused! =( Also, what else can I personally do to help him through this?
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I'm not sure about a recommendation as to going to your parents for money, I will think about that while I give you some information on help for your boyfriend and you about his addiction.
Gambling is an addiction, just like alcohol. Just like alcohol there is a program out there to help him. The first step in the program is admitting he has a problem.
Having himself banned from all the casinos is a good thing, though someone fully addicted to gambling will bet on anything such as whether the next person through the door will be male or female.
Like those addicted to Alcohol have Alcoholics Anonymous. Gamblers have Gamblers Anonymous with a similar program. These programs do work. My brother in-law is 25 years sober thanks to alcoholics anonymous and his best friend is the cop that put him in the drunk tank and got him into alcoholics anonymous.
Both programs work on the same principal of a 12 step program. As I said and have seen if you work the program you can have a good life free from the demons of the addictions.
While he is getting into the program and starting to work the program, there is a program like al anon for family and friend of alcoholics for the gambler. It is called Gam-Anon. It is a support group for you to help you deal with those things that may bother you or that you need help with in helping your boy friend. I will supply links to both websites.
As to going to you parents for money. Go to them, tell them your BF has joined Gamblers Anonymous, if he has, as this is a plus. Ask them for a loan, not a handout and set up a repayment schedule even if it is only a few dollars a week at first. You really have nothing to loose.
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You can support him. That is all you can do. He needs to do this on his own. This is only the beginning.
Get him some professional help. They will work intensively with him as well as with you in terms of what you can be doing to support and help manage his addiction.
Talk to him regularly. Encourage to open up to you and learn to recognise when something is wrong. Get to know his habits and warning signs, when he is in a moment of weakness be there to pick him back up. Get it all out in the open and reassure him that you're in this together.
Do all you can to support him but don't let him depend on you. He needs to be able to get through this on his own merit. You wont always be there to help him.
So consult your GP and treatment options. Be involved in his treatment, be prepared for hard times and don't let your faith and support waver. Be his standing pillar when he has nothing else to hold on to.
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