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What have I done wrong
Have recently been dumped by my 50 year old girl friend and she will not tell me the truth why. Naturally I am devastated.
She had accepted my ring, money to save her home etc etc. We never ever met but I was completely honest as she was ? And had been for over 8 months. She still writes, says she wants and needs me in her life but it is very difficult. She is married but very unhappy. I am deeply in love with her and was prepared to buy us outright a home put it in her name and care for her all my life. I am 8 years older than her, retired and well off never having to worry over money. Have I over dine it? Sent too much Money $ 25000 or what. She was my last chance of true happiness. Please no talk of loads more out there. It took me 25 years to find her.
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Wow, this is sad. I'm sorry this has happened to you. I sincerly apologise.
The truth is always hard to handle. Its bittersweet. Wouldn't you agree?
Now, I understand that you love her and that you were relieved when you found her because you thought your search for love was over until she came along.
But, you have to understand, and try not to be blinded by love that if she really wanted to be with you she would. If she loved you as much as she loved you, she would have left her husband. I know it hurts to hear this, because it isn't what you want to hear, but sweetie, she used you. She took advantage of your great, big heart, and demolished it.
You need to let her go. She can't give you the things you need from her. She's in it for all the wrong reasons. Would you rather be with part of her, with no physical comfort, and be used,
or be independent, and not have to worry about someone taking advantage of the amazing things you can give a real woman?
Once again, I'm so sorry.
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I can tell by the rating you gave voiceofreason you don't wan to hear this but I think you have been scammed. What you wrote sounds very much like something that happened to my neighbor.
When he finally told me what was going on he was about to mortgage his home to send more money to her, to buy her freedom for the country she lived in. I called a detective friend on the local county police. Turns out he was aware of this scam. Not much they could do about it as the money first left the country was laundered out of country then sent to some people in Colorado.
While the FBI and other law enforcement agencies knew what was going on. Not much could be done about it as there was little government let alone law enforcement in the country the money was being sent to.
I can't tell from your writing if this is what is happening to you. The red flags in what you wrote are : "She is married but very unhappy." "Sent too much Money $ 25000?" She had accepted my ring, money to save her home etc etc." "prepared to buy us outright a home put it in her name and care for her all my life.
The last one is the biggest red flag. Did she know about you wanting to buy a home for the two of you and put it in her name? While this would be a major windfall in the scam, if it was a scam it would require her to come and meet you to sigh the papers. IF this is a scam, something I believe it is, meeting you is the last thing she can do as it puts her at risk.
Believe what you want. My advise check with your local police or FBI and find out if they are aware of any type of scam like this. You might be very surprised.
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Dude, you got worked. The girl, if it really was a female you were talking to, was a straight up hustler. This is actually a somewhat common scam. Sorry to break it to you.
Good luck in your search for companionship.
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You are being used.
Plain and simple. She is using you for money and affection and fantasy.
This is the truth:
If she wanted to be with you, she would be.
She doesn't want to be with you, not badly enough to change her life. Whatever her 'reasons' are, they do not justify taking your money, and having an emotional affair.
You are not in love with her. You are in love with the idea of her. The idea of her is perfect. The actual her is probably a sorta lousy person. You've never really met her, she might actually be a very lousy person.
She is not your last chance at happiness, she is a good way to loose all your money and self respect. She is a path to the deepest kind misery.
You probably wont believe me. But listen carefully to all the advice you get here. Every sane person who hears your story will say the same thing: You are being taken advantage of.
Talk to your friends and family or join a seniors club and make some friends. If money is no object, start seeing a therapist to help make clearer, more reasonable judgements.
And end contact with her. Maybe she does love you, but she is NOT prepared to behave decently to you, and THAT is more important.
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I know this sucks to hear more than something you did wrong, but I think in this case it isn't you, and not something you can control. From just the little bit I know, I feel like actually ending her marriage (even if she is unhappy) is really hard for her. It's something that's been constant in her life, and she'd be hurting her current husband. I was in a situation where I had to leave my girlfriend for a chance to date my best friend who I had loved 5 years earlier. Even though me and my current girlfriend were very unhappy, it was very difficult for me to leave her for a chance with my new girl. Think of the old saying, it's better to have one in the hand than two in the bush. She has a marriage right now, something she possible thinks she can stick out. Rather than just a chance with you (even though by the way it sounds, you are ready to be everything to her). I hate to say it, but I don't think it's you. That's almost worse than knowing you did something wrong.
However, I know you never met, there's a big difference than online dating and an actual physical relationship. How do you know that conversation would flow naturally, that you'd be compatible physically? You don't if you've never met her before.
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