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my folks want me to get married right away to the girl they choose ?
hey guys my folks am the eldest one in my family and my folks want me to get married to the girl they choose but i am not ready for it yet i want to study for my boards which is very time consuming as my younger siblings are very much eager to get married and i am sort of a hinderence for their marriage as i come from a orthodox family where the eldest one is supposed to get married first its been really bothering me a lot ...and i am sort of really depressed about it and have absoulutely no clue what to do about it .i respect my parents very much and dont like to hurt them either .
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hi there
how are you?
well i dont know if my advise will be of any help to you but then again it is only my advise...
personally,i think you should sit down with your parents and talk to them about how you feeling.... i know somethimes you might think that its not the best thing to do as you might not know how they would react etc but somethimes the simplist solutions work the best...
i know sometimes its not as easy as just talking to them but i say give it a go.... what have you got to lose?
however you need to be sencere and respectful when doing so... try make them understand your views in life and try get them to see the situation from your perspective....
if this doesnt help why not talk to a family member who can help you persuade your parents other wise?
i hope this helps....
wishing you all the best
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I can't tell for sure from your question what country your from. In some countries religious customs come ahead of personal desire. Honoring ones parents is also a tenant of almost all known religions.
This puts you into a conundrum; follow you religion and tradition or follow the goals that you have for yourself? One thing I noticed is you say nothing about the girl your parents have chosen for you; other than you do not wish to marry at this time. Do you now this girl? Do you have any feelings for this girl?
Tradition, even in modern society, has its place. At some point, tradition causes conflict with goals and concepts of modern society. What you have to figure out is if you are at that point.
If so then you have make a choice. Is this where you and tradition part company? Do you compromise and try and work tradition into your goals that conform to modern society? Do you give in to tradition? No one can make this decision for you; though it is one you have to make and one that comes with consequences.
If you part with tradition you could be parting with your family as well. If you try and compromise, the best description of compromise is something no one likes but everyone can live with, this can leave hard feelings as well. If you give in to tradition you may never live up to the potential or goals you have for yourself. This could cause problems between you and your wife and your family.
In a sense you are in a no win situation since there can almost certainly not be a win/win outcome. My best advice for you is to follow your heart. Do what you feel is best for you. For in the end you are the one who will suffer the most in any of the situations I have envisioned.
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