I think that first off, you should just forget about the guy who turned you down because of your weight. Hes shallow. And as for the comments you get, I think the best you can do is try taking them as a compliment instead. Now, if it's people insulting you and calling you a skinny whore or something, thats different. But I'm guessing that you're recieving comments from a few friends. If someone calls you skinny, it's most likely ment to be a compliment, who wants to be fat? Nobody. Everyone wants to be skinny to look attractive to people. I think what is upsetting you the most is that a guy turned you down because of it. Well, let me tell you something. This guy is a selfish ungreatful person, and hes going to have a tough time finding girls that match up his standards. Just because hes not interested in you, it doesn't make you less of a person, or less attractive.



-TheTeenGirl

You want to be friends with a guy who cheated on you? I think you know what you need to do. Move on and get this cheater out of your life. That girlfriend of his will just have to keep getting cheated on until she gets it. Don't stop talking to him because his girlfriend doesn't want you to, stop because he cheated on you and disrespected you! Being his friend won't ease the pain of getting over him, it actually makes things worse. The more you hang out with someone you like, the more you are going to fall for them. You have to make space and move on, besides, does he really deserve to have you as a friend? I think not.


-TheTeenGirl

Do you understand how rude it is to be talking with this guy and convincing him to break up with his girlfriend while they are still dating? It's plain rude. I think that you should know by now how this guy really is. You think that just because hes leaving his girlfriend for you that he won't do the exact same thing to you with a different girl? Well, think again. You need to pay attention to this guy's actions when it comes to him and how he treats his girlfriends. It will not make things all better when he leaves his girlfriend, the exact same thing will happen to you someday.


-TheTeenGirl

I know this probably sounds like some bad advice, but if you don't want anything to happen with you and your friend, then you are better off not telling them this.

You just have to know that the chances are small that they'll end up together for a long time. And that you can't go on for a long time thinking that this guy was the only one you wanted, because it's not true. There will be so many other guys that you'll want to be with, remember that when you feel down about your friend and this guy. As I said, likely, your friend and him won't last too long. I think you'll be a lot better off not telling them because it would save a lot of tension between you and your friend, guys can really come between girlfriends, and when they let it happen, their friendships crash and that guy will be gone even though it's not repaired yet. This guy will be gone soon, don't worry.

-TheTeenGirl

I think your friend is getting a little bit depressed about this. If shes not talking to anyone, then shes withdrawing herself from a social group, which is a sign of depression. Parents getting divorced is a really tough thing to watch and have to go through. I know it hurts you to not be talking to her, but I think that you shouldn't give up on her. If you know for sure that shes not talking to anyone right now, you have to start worrying. I know that you don't want to push her, so the easiest way is to tell her this. "[Amy], I know you are having a rough time with your parents, I miss the friendship that was really strong, and I want you to know that I'm not going to give up on it because I am here anytime that you need to let it out."

Don't expect her to start talking to you afterwards. That is letting her know that you havn't given up on her, so she'll know that when she feels like theres nobody else, she'll remember that you are still there waiting. It's really ok to get upset and irritated that shes not confiding in you, but you have to avoid showing that to her, don't ever tell her that you're getting irritated with her. You have to go unleash that somewhere else, because you can't tell her that you'll be there and then tell her you're sick of her. Just because your friend hasn't came to you for advice, it doesn't make you less of a person, or a friend. What makes a friend a true friend is telling her every once in a while that you're here and that you aren't going anywhere, and easing the pain in the rough times. A lot of times what will help to get a person to start talking is to try asking her for advice about a little problem that you have and she may help and find that she can really come to you. But don't force it. You're a very great friend because of the concerns you have in your question.


-TheTeenGirl

I think that this 'love at first site' ice cream guy is a little bit of your imagination. I strongly advise you not to break up with Austin to get to this guy. I think that you'll realize it may not have been exactly what you thought and you'll regret it. I think you are having a little moment with seeing another guy that is attractive to you, and maybe it should stay that way. You never know with guys who look at you, or who just happen to be watching you in that moment of time. Don't talk about this with Austin until you make a decision to actually make a move on this ice cream guy, which you shouldn't, but if you do, break up with him before you go and flirt. I know for sure that you'd rather be broken up with than to have your boyfriend stare and flirt with another girl while you're both still together. In other words, treat others and you want to be treated, if you don't want to be cheated on, don't cheat.

-TheTeenGirl

You've got to understand that niether Elle or Anne make the rules of what you are or aren't allowed to wear. It doesn't work that way, if you like the jeans, you buy them, Anna or Elle have no say in it. They both told you about the jeans, how could they get upset if they told you about how neat they were? They can't. I don't understand why you are asking if you can buy jeans that you like just because someone else has those exact same jeans. If they get upset, tough luck for them, they are the ones who told you about them, so they are at fault if they didn't want you to get the jeans, and they are worth less than a pair of jeans if they get upset with you. Remember, if you want them, you buy them! Nobody else decides for you!


-TheTeenGirl

I don't think you're jealous. It's very hard to watch a friend turn into something very trashy, it angers you to see her this way. But, just know that what you said to her was trashy too, and it might be true, but the best thing to do is just not say a thing about it because:

1. It saves any trouble of her trying to get eveyone to go against you, or bully you.

2. It just doesn't need to be said, later on in her life she will probably be called those names by someone else.

Your friend sounds selfish when she denies you being by her side when she needed you, but she knows the truth. I know that angers you too, but you know that you were a great friend, and so does she. When you confront someone, don't yell and call them names, because it won't make them think over what you said. Even if they start yelling, just say calmly that that is how you feel about it and then walk away.

-TheTeenGirl

Your boyfriend sounds like he can't handle you. If hes dumping you everytime you need him, then how do you love him? A big part of love is knowing his soft side to pick you up when you are hurt. But, hes running away when you're hurt, and thats hurting you. Havn't you ever questioned him about what hes doing? Because thats what you need to do, but it sounds to me like you won't be getting a good enough answer. The bottom line is, that he really does not deserve you if he can't be there to try to stop your tears and help you look at things better when you are at your worst.

If you want to try this relationship again, stop the repitition thats going on. The cycle of him taking you back and dumping you is repeating, and if you want that cycle to quit, you have to have a serious talk with him, and start getting the truth. Tell him that you will not go on with the relationship until he starts explaining, I'm sure that you don't want him to just keep dumping you. As you said, you can't help your depression, you don't have a choice to get rid of it. You can only heal so much from it, so if he can't handle that you're depressed, then you have to get rid of him, you know that if you go on, it will be a disaster. Just stop the cycle and tell him that you demand some answers. I'd like to let you know, that there is light at the end of the darkness in depression. I know you feel there is no ending to it, but I promise you that there is light waiting for you to reach.

-TheTeenGirl

It is definetly normal to feel scared out of a relationship that was unfaithful. But, what you have to do is be a bit more cautious with who you are with right now.


If you feel the need to take it a bit slower so that you can see better that this young man is really different this time, then you should take it slower. But, if you feel sure already, just take in the fact that this is a new man, fresh start, he is different and deserves a fair chance. It may be hard, but thats why you also need to tell your boyfriend that you want to be closer, and you feel that way, but you are hesistant to what could happen. That doesn't mean that you can use being scared as an excuse all of the time. Try your best to be confident, hes a new guy, so think of this as a new life. The cheaters are gone for you. But, do tell your boyfriend these thoughts, because he may be wondering or may notice something about you.

-TheTeenGirl

I think that you need to just accept the fact that he isn't interested in you anymore. I know that hurts, but truly, if he doesn't want to be with you, don't push it. And how do you expect to 'win him over' without talking to him? You just plan on ignoring him until he notices you, because you do have to communicate in order for someone to pay attention to you.

-TheTeenGirl

The way to start making yourself happier with your looks are to stop critisizing yourself in front of your friends. This needs to stop because it sounds like your friends are getting a little irritated with hearing it a lot, and also, it just brings you down more when you say it. Don't put your friends on the spot by telling them that you're fat, you know that anyone who complains that they are fat, the people around will always say, "oh no you're not, you're so pretty!" Somebody will always say it, because what if nobody said anything? That would hurt your feelings. You need to start thinking about what happens when you put yourself down, you're:


1. Making yourself feel down and depressed for the most part of your day.

2. Making yourself think that you have no future and that you'll never meet someone who will love you for what you look like.

3. Setting yourself up to failure because you make yourself think that you aren't good enough and won't ever be.

4. Make yourself look worse by having your negative attitude, and negative outlook on everything in life before you even get a chance to see if you like it or not.


In other words, you do a lot of things when you put yourself down at all. And you probably didn't even realize that this wasn't exactly what you thought you were doing. You say that your friends are very pretty and always get the guys. Well, think about this, do you think half of those guys are even worth having as at your age? Likely a big no. When you don't get guys you want, it does not make you less loved, or less of a person. Everyone gets rejected by love, and even the pretty girls that you speak of get rejected. When you look in the mirror, you just need to say:

"You know what, even though I'm not quite as loving for my body as I should be yet, I am a great girl with a beautiful spirit. I help my friends as best as I can, I try my best at things, and I know that I am the most beautiful and powerful girl on the inside of me, and no matter how skinny or pretty I get on the outside, that could never be as powerful as the girl inside."


That all is true I am pretty sure. I am sure that you are a warm hearted girl that tries to be there for her friends. You have to pay attention to who you make yourself out to be. When you say you're ugly, you make yourself out to be as ugly.


-TheTeenGirl

I think you need to stop talking to this pervert. If hes touching you and you aren't even with him, then that should have stopped you already. And on top of that, hes trying to touch you in inappropriate places. I think he can just find a new girl that will let him touch her, because you are uncomfortable, and it's sick anyway, you just need to tell him that you don't like him doing it, but I doubt he will listen.

-TheTeenGirl

My guess would be that you might be spending a little too much time without your friends and worrying where he is instead. You and your boyfriend need to make solutions together. You say that you don't really know how to approach your friends to hang out with them. You don't have to get your group of friends, pick a friend and ask them to go see a movie on the weekend and start hanging out with them more. Is there a near mall that you and a friend have been dying to go to lately? Even if not, setup a time and place to hang out so that you won't feel left out when it comes to your boyfriend being with his friends. That is one of your biggest problems in the relationship. There has to be some independent group hanging out. As much as you'd both like, you can keep it to just you both talking and you shut doors to everyone else. Have some girlfriend time too.

-TheTeenGirl

Listen, you are not even close to being ready for sex. Not only are you way too young for it, but you would be doing it with a guy whose 'willing' to have sex with you. Thats nothing special at all, just about any guy would have sex at your age. And also, can you afford being pregnant right now? At 13, not even close. I'm saying that pregnancy is a possible consequence to having sex. You are not ready for that. So no, you shouldn't have sex until you can afford those consequences, and don't think that it's just supporting a baby. It's having to drop out of school, soon becoming independent at paying your own way, and a lot more.

-TheTeenGirl

Almost everyone is going to tell you that age doesn't matter, and that you have sex when you are ready. Thats completely wrong. Do you think at the age of 13 you can actually decide if you are ready? No. When you are an adult and can afford the consequences is when you should have sex. Thats about 18 and above. That is when you can make accurate choices for yourself. If you can't afford the consequences, don't take the risk.

-TheTeenGirl

There is no doubt in my mind that Abby won't be back for a long time. If you know that she uses self destruction to cope, you have to tell her parents, because not only is she going to take a very long time to get over this, but shes in danger when shes cutting. On top of cutting and having her sister gone, her grades will be going down seriously even though it will be excused in school. If you want to know if shes ok, then you have to call, or write her a letter and make sure it gets to her. Don't try and give up on her though, you have to be concerned about the ones who withdrawl themselves from the pain and try dealing on their own. She sounds like she'll out of school for a very long time, so go ahead and talk to her mom or dad about her cutting issue, because thats taking just one more danger and stress off of her life. Whether she decides to speak to you again or not, you will doing the right thing and she'll thank you way later when she realizes who she gave up. She may not come back to you years later and thank you, but she'll do it to herself. It doesn't matter how misunderstood you think she is by adults, her parents will help her through this, as they have to help themselves. Which is another reason why you need to talk to her or write to her. When her parents just can't help her, or be there because they are hurting too much, you can be there to talk to her about it. Don't give up on your friend, shes going to have really rough times ahead, so you have to be able to take that in and understand when she just doesn't want to talk to anyone.

-TheTeenGirl

I'm pretty sure that your boyfriend is into you, but you have to careful, because he could be messing around with you because he knows that you still like him. People tend to mess with people that like them even though they don't like them back. You should probably wait until he makes the first move or decides to grow up and be honest with you. Again, be careful.


-TheTeenGirl

Well, I don't exactly have weight losing methods for you. I'd like to just tell you that your friends don't have a horrible thought about your body. Just about every skinny girl out there says they are fat, and believe it or not, they know that they are lying to themselves, they want attention. They want to hear somene say, "oh no you don't, you're like a model" or something along those lines so that they can feel better.

I think the best you can do about your weight problem is to ask your parents or a guardian to help you with this. I believe that you can't lose weight without family support or someone there to help you along the way. I don't know good weight losing plans, but I'm sure your family could help you with one you could try. I'm sorry this isn't the best answer and the one you were looking for, but those are my thoughts on this situation.


-TheTeenGirl

You did the right thing. I don't know why your friends would think that it's wrong to tell a counselor about a friend thats self injuring, but that was the right thing to do. The reason you told the counselor was because you didn't want her to lose her life, so in a way, you're saving her life. When you face your friends, you just need to be proud of what you did, and if they aren't, then thats too bad for them. When you see her, ask her if shes alright, and give her a hug. I think what she truly needs is someone to let her know that someone cares, and you're one of those many people who care.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
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