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boyfriend and my depression.
My boyfriend and I've been going out for three years now. When we met (16 at the time), I told him that if he wanted to become more than a friend to me then there are certain things he needed to know. I've told him I've been clinically depressed since I was eleven years old and that I'm self destructive and he understood. Instead of disregarding me, we fell in love.. The problem is, he breaks up with me when I'm at the point where my depression becomes unhandling.. basically, at times when I need him most. However, he always ends up coming back to me. This has happened at least twice since we've been together.
I'm 19 now and I've just started college. Ever since college has begun, I've been becoming more or more sad with my life. Everythings been so stressful, living away from home, being in a new environment, the college work load.. etc. Two nights ago I told my boyfriend that lately I've been crying a lot and that my depression is getting worse. Well, last night, out of no where, he breaks up with me over the phone. Two hours later, he wants me back.
I feel as if he doesnt want to be with me because he doesnt want to deal with my depression.. Thing is, I dont burden him with anything, I just go to him to talk about what's bothering me. It's like, he can't handle it and he gives up on me.. I know he really loves me though and I would never doubt his love for me.. it's just that I don't like being thrown away and then taken back. I dont like when people take me for granted. I need advice on what to do, because I really do love him and want to be with him. But I just cant keep having this happen to me.. him breaking up with me especially over something I can't help: my depression.
Thanks in advance.
Sorry for the length.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Why not talk to him? Not about how you're feeling generally but how you can't cope with the messing about that he's doing to you? He needs to get his priorities right, he needs to make sure that you can talk to him about anything and he can talk to you about anything and both will never leave the other. Relationships are based on communication too...so, why not say that it hurts when he breaks up then makes up. Tell him you need him 24/7.
Best of luck, hun
x Steph x
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Your boyfriend sounds like he can't handle you. If hes dumping you everytime you need him, then how do you love him? A big part of love is knowing his soft side to pick you up when you are hurt. But, hes running away when you're hurt, and thats hurting you. Havn't you ever questioned him about what hes doing? Because thats what you need to do, but it sounds to me like you won't be getting a good enough answer. The bottom line is, that he really does not deserve you if he can't be there to try to stop your tears and help you look at things better when you are at your worst.
If you want to try this relationship again, stop the repitition thats going on. The cycle of him taking you back and dumping you is repeating, and if you want that cycle to quit, you have to have a serious talk with him, and start getting the truth. Tell him that you will not go on with the relationship until he starts explaining, I'm sure that you don't want him to just keep dumping you. As you said, you can't help your depression, you don't have a choice to get rid of it. You can only heal so much from it, so if he can't handle that you're depressed, then you have to get rid of him, you know that if you go on, it will be a disaster. Just stop the cycle and tell him that you demand some answers. I'd like to let you know, that there is light at the end of the darkness in depression. I know you feel there is no ending to it, but I promise you that there is light waiting for you to reach.
-TheTeenGirl
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I am going to tell you this imuch. My fiance just broke up with me and i can givce you all the advice in the world to deal with this-buti am going to tell you who to ask advice from. She will give it to you the way you need to hear it and what to do ask trueadvicediva and tell her i sent you her way she will help you out. She is good and will stick by you all the time whenever you need anything.
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Listen i think you need to talk to him about why hes always breaking up with you. Maybe it's not what you think it's for. If he broke up with you because of your depression he wouldnt take you back.. soo it's obviously probably not that. he obviously loves you, but i think your both lacking the talking part of your relationship.. i hope everything works out.. Good Luck
x0o Melis*
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