about

I'm Steph. I love helping people and I have a great interest in music, I play the piano well and I hope to be a vet nurse one day. I am easy to trust and whatever you say to me personally will be strictly confidential. Thanks for reading! :) x

advice

how do you give a hicky ?

It's basically sucking on the neck when making out or getting intimate with someone you know and trust, but beware, it can leave a mark and may hurt after a few days if you don't do it carefully :)

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Okay so im 124-127 pounds (i change lol), 5'2, and 16 years old.

I have a lott of muscle which people say
is most of the weight. and i dont really
mind the number. its just that i dont like
my stomach at all... its so gross.. unfortunaly i love sweets so if i get even a small snack, its
usually NOT good for me, although my meals are usually really healthy. im in cheerleading
for my high school and we tumble and do things
all the time for excercise, but i just feel
so bad about myself..i work out my abs occaionaly outside of cheerleading, but i dont excerise much alone.. its just not that fun for me.. and its so hard to stick to it if i start. it hurts because all of my friends have flat tummys and look good and i just want to feel just as comfortable as they do. i dont think im very overweight and the bmi thing said i was fine.. its just the tummy area. i just dont like myself and its hard sometimes to step it up. i really want to i want to eat healthy with good snacks or no snacks, but once i do, even if ive had plentyy to eat, soon after i always end up slurging.. whether its the same day or a couple days after. i can never stick to it and it sucks. what can i do? and whats some advice on what kinds of things to do once i get there? thanks!

Hmm...try dancing...in your own room by yourself to music, figuring out dance moves. Even if it is for 10-15 minutes a day, that's great :)
You should think positive of yourself, chin up :)
x Steph x

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14/f

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. I'm finally getting tired of being second best to his friend. His best friend, I understand. But he will ditch days with me just to hang out with him and 'be bored' and such. It makes me feel insecure about our relationship. He says he misses me so much when we don't get to see each other. And he gets mad if I'm not making enough time in my schedule for him. But it's okay for him to neglect me, in his eyes. I wanna talk to him about it, but I don't wanna come off as the obsessive psycho girlfriend. How should I put it to him?

Just say something on the lines of...
"I understand (insert best friend's name here) is your close friend and you like him a lot. And I REALLY don't want this to come out like I want to see you 24 hours a day or anything but I miss being with you and it upsets me when you ditch days with me to be with him..."
Then perhaps hug/kiss him to to reassure you care!
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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Yes, I'm on my period, but ususally I am so good about cravings, but now they're unavoidable! Could anyone please tell me how not stop, but give in to my cravings, without them being unhealthy? Chocolate...ugh...it's the worst. Your help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Well..periods are only 5-7 days, right? Well, why not buy Low Fat or Weightwatchers chocolate and eat a little bit every time you feel like you need something? Your body is telling you that it wants chocolate, so give it it...just with 'x'% less fat :)
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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What does it mean "to make woopie"

I was reading a poem my mom wrote after her baby shower. Is this some old expression about sex?

"To Make Woopie" = To have sex

But yeah, you got it :)
x Steph x

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ok so i (16/f) really like this guy that i work with and we get along soo well!! we spent all day together at work after school and every second we spent talking and laughing about random stuff!! anyways he's kinda shy and i dont really know how he feels about me so should i make the first move? im kinda shy when it comes to guys so if anyone gives me some good flirting tips or ways to let him know that i like him i'll give 5s!

http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/flirtideas.shtml

http://www.links2love.com/teens_flirting.htm

Try those...
x Steph x

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Not good. My best friend and I like the same guy and he might like her back and I'm completely jealous annnd she doesnt know I like him.
I just got out of a relationship.

what to do?

One of a few things you can do:
- Be happy for her...
- Tell her how you feel...
- Let her know that you're not happy if they do happen to be going out

It's a toughy..it all depends on the type of person you are...end question is, a friend or a guy?
Best of luck! :)
x Steph x

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I just want some opinions on this:

Do you think it's wrong to let your boyfriend go to a strip club?

I personally think it is wrong, but then I see some girlfriends even go with their boyfriends to stripclubs!! I just don't get it. How could you let your boyfriend get turned on by another woman? ..or let alone get a sexy lap dance by another woman? I personally think that can even lead to the thought of cheating.

What do you guys think? I am 18 and my boyfriend is 17 and he will be 18 next month. I don't know whether to never let him go to a strip club(since that is a common thing for men to try out at least once in their lives) or to let him try it out. I am really uncomfortable with that idea.

In my opinion, I would NEVER expect any boyfriend of mine to even suggest such a thing.
If the topic comes up in conversation, DO NOT be shy of telling him how you feel..you MUST tell him that you're uncomfortable with the idea.
Totally with you on this one!
x Steph x

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Hey there! Currently, I'm experiencing feelings of disinterest towards the things I once enjoyed in life.... It's like, I don't really care for school, when it used to be the most important thing, and it seems like, the things I once valued so highly and such, like my ambitions aren't as important as it used to be. Is there anything wrong with me? What may I do to change this perspective?

Hey there to you too! :)
I'm presuming that you're a teenager...I think it could be "teenage angst" or "hormones" playing with your mind. I'm in the exact same position as you, you're not alone. But you MUST think positive thoughts before you become in a permanent state of how you're feeling now..which then could develop into depression or something.
So, chin up :)
x Steph x

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Ok so here it goes me and my two friends from college have decided to go on a trip to see this boy i realised i liked he used to go to my old school and i have not seen him for over a year now!!! i realised he was there for me when i was upset but he was always picking on me when we was in secondary school.being horrible but in a way i enjoyed it how crazy.Im now getting abit nervous about it, what if he embarasses me in front of my friends.What if he fancys on of my friends and now me.Although when we left school he asked me to go out with him but i was never sure if he was joking.i realised i like him alot.im 17/f what shall i do when i bump into him do i just go hi.. what if he knows ive come on purpose to see him my friends might make it obvious. im scared i just want him to like me like i like him he does play around with me on msn saying i want to kiss your sweet lips but when i ask my friend who knows him they are like its his brother saying that not him!!!!! what shall i do someone help me please...

Relax! :)
If you're really uptight about it, then he might suspect something. Therefore, talk to your friends and ask them nicely not to make a scene or make it obvious that you are only there 'cos of him. And yeah, just say "hi" or make a joke like "Ya really wanna kiss my sweet lips?", then laugh. Joke about with him. It's a proven fact that guys like girls who make them laugh. :)
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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I have a new hamster. When she is on her wheel, it is really loud. It is keeping everyone up and I was wondering if there was anything I can do. I am going to try to find a different wheel, but I am not sure if there are any quiet ones out there. Does anyone know what I can do for right now, until I can find a new wheel?

Thanks!

Why not go to the pet shop and tell your problem to one of the staff there. I'm sure they will understand and may able to recommend a quieter and better wheel for your hamster.
Best of luck!
x Steph x

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This is really embarassing, but I've had worms for a number of years and when I was younger I took the medication but it didn't help and I still had it. I estimate I've had it for about 8 years, maybe longer. Its never really had an effect on me, except being very itchy. I'm started to worry that it will cause long-term health effects on me. I'm too scared to tell my mother as its pretty gross.. is there anything at all I can do? Should I not be worried?

Thanks.

I know you REALLY don't want to talk about this but you have to either tell your mother or go to your doctor. The doctor might not want to look or do anything..but perhaps he could give you something better than what you have now. Remember, you can always go to the doctor without your mum knowing...but it is best to tell her...
G'luck!
x Steph x

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my girlfriend thinks that im too innocent, how could i change? I hardly know any sexual slang,ect.

If your girlfriend is making fun of you because you have a lack of sexual knowledge/slang, then talk to her about it. You can't change for someone..even if you do love/dating them. She either accepts you for who you are or leaves you...but it'd be shallow if she did. You're probably a nice person who doesn't focus their concentration on sex...
Don't change..for ANYONE!
x Steph x

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Im a guy, me and my girlfriend of 3 years broke up(she broke up with me, said she needed some time off)...anyways its been over 2 months and all I do is think about her, i miss her so much, and even though we still hang out and talk on the phone, i feel alone. I wonder if maybe i should go and date other girls because i seriously can no longer take the emptiness in my heart, i love her so much and wanna be back with her, however, i dont know exactly what plans she has. I have asked her if she sees us getting back together and her answer is always the same " i cannot answer that, cause i dont know?"
What am i supossed to do here, in one hand i love her and miss her so much, and i can continue feeling empty while waiting for her to come back to me, but on the other hand, i dont know if we will ever get back together, so maybe im getting my hopes up too high, all i know is that the emptiness and despair i feel everyday cannot be good for my health, what should i do?

In a situation like this, follow your heart. If you are determined to be with her, then you do ANYTHING in your power to get back with her...but if you think you should just have a little time away to just give her space, then just let her have her space...
If you ever get lonely or just want to chat, puddycat11@hotmail.com
x Steph x

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Well christmas is coming up and i think i know what im doing for my Girlfriend, if you have read my past questions, i'm doing this thing, i get a vase with 11 roses in it, and one glass rose in it. And a card on it that says "when the last rose dies is when i will stop loving you" Hence... a glass rose wont die. Then besides that im gonna do one of those build-a-bear things.. and a silver neckless. Sound good? anyone know a good place to get a silver neckless? like a heart emblem of what ever?

HSamuels are a good jewellery shop! That Christmas present sounds very sweet, she's lucky! :) Have a good Christmas!
x Steph x

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So. I know gross but i think it is safe to say this is mostly populated with girls so you all in some way sometime in your life come into a problem simular to this.
So my boyfriend and I have been sexual active for 6 months and a month ago we stopped using condoms because it was comfortable for either him and or i. Sex without a condom was much more comfortable for both him and i. But I do not recomend it to anyone, use protection...Anyways after the first time we did that I got a urinary track infection, which i didnt go to the doctors for because it wasnt life threatning or anything. Anyways after a couple days it got worse, i was getting white discharge all the time when i used the rest room or when i was just walking around i felt leaking...about two weeks later it got worse, i was ichty down there every once and awhile and the white discharge increased and it started to get an oder. Well I douched and started taking care of myself as much as I could and it went away. While having the UTI i was still having sex but it didnt seem to bother it. Well today after intercourse he noticed thick white discharge on him and I on me. I smelled it but it didnt really have an oder at all and I was very confused, so i went to the restroom and whipped and noticed spotting of blood im suppose to start my period tomorrow so i just wrote it off to that and put a tampon in but when i took it out, it was completly dry not one thing on it. Well later last night we had sex again, but the thing is I orgasmed more than the first but I didnt have the thick white discharge this time...I thought that was kind of weird.
See I was thinking could it be, because we are having sex without a comdom and my body is just getting use to it. Or is it what my boyfriend said...that we dont have lube so he was rubbing me too much and maybe tearing me a little and that could be the reason but I dont know how it could be...
Im very confused. Please dont tell me to go see a doctor i cant afford to no health insurance and Im just wondering if it should be something to be totally freaked out on?

if you have any advice let me know. i will rate you very high...thank you for your time have a great day...and sorry if this grossed you out.

No worries for the rating - I'm here to help if I can!
The bleeding was probably due to your hymen breaking which is more difficult to do with a condom. Otherwise, it could be your body adjusting to this new feeling and it is very likely that your boyfriend is tearing you slightly. Why not add 5-10 more minutes on foreplay, that way, tearing is less likely to happen.
Best of luck! :)
x Steph x

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The guy that I'm seeing is a real pig. He has a beer guy because he'll go out drinking all the time with his friends and down 12 beers. He farts all the time and has bad breath and body odor. He has red veigns on his nose from all his drinking. Also he dresses like he's thin, he'll wear tight jeans and t shirts but it looks ridicuous because he's about 30 pounds overweight.
It's really hard for me to get turned on by him. It's not just the way he looks sometimes he can be a real jerk. The last straw was when I phoned him on his cell on he told me to only phone him if it was after 6.
I want to dump him but I don't know how to go about it. Should I tell him that his appearance turns me off or would that be too mean?

I wouldn't be as personal as to say that he was ugly. But, break it to him gently. Say that you're not ready for this type of commitment, you need space and live like a free human being!
Best of luck, I know it's not easy!
x Steph x

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So today I got this message from some random person. I called that number and I found out it was an adult. He started asking me for personal information and I told him fake stuff like my names this and that. Then he started saying I want to start a realationship with you and I just went crazy. I messaged him ssome really rude messages because I want them to leave me alone SO BADLY!!! It really pisses me off to know that I haave stalkers that might.. Who knows what???

Also, I think I know who those guys are. I have a guitar teacher and hes perverted and he loves me. (eew... hes 20 years older then me.)
So I think he gave my number to his friends.. UGh.. What jerks.. Any ideas on how to stop this?? I cant ignore them because they keep on messaging me. I told them that I will call the police if they don't shut up.

Oh and by the way I live in Indonesia where it's really dangerous to just walk outside.

Tell your parents/guardians or someone you trust. If it DOES get really bad, DO tell the police, these people can be locked up for harrassment you know. Next time they text/ring, just say "Thanks for calling/texting, now the police can track you down much more easily!". Scare them!
Best of luck and don't worry too much! :)
x Steph x

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I was just wondering what the different between kissing and making out is. Where is the line drawn? What is considered making out and what isn't? Is it something that is determined by you mouth or you hands or. . . ? That's always confused me so somebody please help! Thanks.

Kissing = Passion between the lips, maybe open
Making out = Passion between open lips and tongue
Hope this helped! :)
x Steph x

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ok..so theirs this guy nd ive liked him forever!! and im friends w/ his cousin nd she said he liked me!! but hes been ignoring me lately..nd he hasnt called in like 3 days..nd he's been flirting w/ this other girl a lot..nd so i get that he prolly doesnt like me anymore..but i like him waaay to much..what do i do about it?!

Perhaps it's jealousy you have with this other girl which isn't abnormal, it's human! So, surely, you just have to try and "win him over", i.e. flirt with him, start conversations, you ring him up, ask him what he wants for christmas and perhaps get it you. You need to prove that you're a lovely person and that you're worth going out with him!! :)
G'luck and be confident! Don't forget to smile!
x Steph x

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