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strippers
I just want some opinions on this:
Do you think it's wrong to let your boyfriend go to a strip club?
I personally think it is wrong, but then I see some girlfriends even go with their boyfriends to stripclubs!! I just don't get it. How could you let your boyfriend get turned on by another woman? ..or let alone get a sexy lap dance by another woman? I personally think that can even lead to the thought of cheating.
What do you guys think? I am 18 and my boyfriend is 17 and he will be 18 next month. I don't know whether to never let him go to a strip club(since that is a common thing for men to try out at least once in their lives) or to let him try it out. I am really uncomfortable with that idea.
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The only thing that I think is wrong is that you consider "letting" your boyfriend go places. He is neither your pet nor your child; where he goes and what he does is at his discretion, not yours. Granted, you're allowed to have your opinion on the matter, but to put yourself in a position of "letting" him do things is absolutely ridiculous.
That said, I would have no problem with my boyfriend going to a strip club as long as it wasn't something he did constantly. If it's a special occassion, why not? I would ask him not to get a lap dance, but I don't think there's anything wrong with looking sometimes. It's human nature. It's not like he's cheating on me. Like it or not, people in relationships, especially teens, do occassionally get turned on by other people. As long as they're not acting on these impulses, you can't blame him for being curious.
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Honestly, I don't see a problem with letting my boyfriend go. He doesn't go all that often and I know when he comes home to me, I'm the one who is going to satisfy him, so it doesn't matter what the strippers did with him while he was there. It's also fine and sometimes fun to go with them to the strip club because if you're comfortable with yourself and the relationship, it shouldn't bother you watching him have fun. But it's totally up to you. Your feelings may not be the same as mine, so don't threaten your trust in the relationship by just allowing him to do something you don't want him to.
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If you try to stop him, he's just gunna do it anyway. "Let him", no there's no letting him. If he wants to go, he's gunna go. And he can't get in anyway. You gotta be 21. He's not gunna fuck any of the girls over there. Unless you never give him any. Then it's a different story. My advice: give him a lot of sex. Keeps him happy.There's nothing wrong with strip clubs and all men love going to them. Men are not that complex. We like women, we like women dancing, we like women naked. So we like women dancing naked. It's not that hard.
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Just to ease your mind a little bit, You have to understand why guys that age go to strip clubs.
For the most part it's not as much just to see the woman as you would think. It's more for the novelty because they can, and more a male bonding thing between guys. I'm not saying whether it's right or wrong I'm just trying to explain the facts.
I wouldn't worry about it if its an occasional night with the guys, it doesn't mean hes looking for somthing else cause he wont find a relationshp at a strip club. But, if he makes a habit of it you need to discuss it.
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It all depends on how you feel. If you really feel uncomfortable about letting him go then you should tell him that and he should understand. But personally I don't really see the problem because in the end it is just entertainment. Guys do it for fun they usually don't go in there looking for girls to cheat on you with. Its something about watching what you know you cant have that turns guys on. YOU just have to remember that your the one he is coming home to in the end
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I do think it is wrong. especially if you dont feel comfortable with him doing that. it may be a common thing for a man to go to one, once in their life, but i think they can wait until they are not with you.
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For the most part girls tend to me more emotional and guys tend to be more physical when it comes to sex related stuff. It's hard to understand what's going through your guy's mind sometimes and this is one of those times for you. You can't stop him from looking at other girls. It's just not possible. And you CANNOT say that you have never looked at another guy while with him and thought to yourself he's hot. You just can't. You know you have. The fact that he is talking to you about this is a good thing. If he were sneaking around behind your back that's when you should get worried. You are in a good relationship right now, don't mess it up by trying to control him in ways that he can't be controlled. If he doesn't want to be with you he doesn't want to be with you and you can't stop that. Right now that isn't the case. He is trying so hard to make you happy. Relationships need to have a little give and take though. The more controlling you are the more he will be inclined to cheat if he decides that he doesn't want to be with you anymore. He may even do it out of spite to prove that he is a man and can't be controlled by some girl. Cheating is worse than breaking up. If he wants to go to the strip club, yes tell him how you feel about it, but don't tell him that he can't go and don't tell him that he can't get turned on by other women. Because first off, he can and second off, it's his choice. You are acting kind of like a parent that doesn't let their kids go out with their friends or date until they're 18. You're not his parent, you are his equal in a relationship. If you can't tolerate his choices then you shouldn't be with him. There are guys out there that aren't all that into strip clubs and porn. I'm sure you can find one if your current relationship falls apart because of this. Awhile ago I learned to deal with all this from my guy and now, after a bit of time I actually understand it. I think that you should give it a chance. You're going to feel jealous especially at first, but if you really want to be with this guy wait it out some more and see if you can get a better understanding of him. The closer you two get the more exclusive he will be sexually. Definitely voice your opinions, but listen to his too and try to work things out together. Relationships take time. If he's worth it, put the time into it that it needs. Good luck.
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In my opinion I think strip clubs are disgusting, and it would hurt me a lot if my boyfriend were to go to one. I am also a strong believer in not looking at pornography either. Men do not need sexual fantasies and such to live their life. If you think that it is wrong for your boyfriend to go to one, then i think you should tell him how you feel about it. Because it is not fair that he gets to have a night of fun, while you will probably have a night of worrying and being jealous. That is how I would feel. Luckily my boyfriend understands how I feel about all of this and respects it, and is fine with it. But if you are not comfortabe with the idea, then I think you should tell him, and if he cares about you he will understand. Especially the lap dance part. I mean if you decided to be fine with the fact of him going to a strip club, then I think lap dances should be completely off limits to guys who are in a relationship. To me that would be like cheating. Because I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't be to happy if I was getting dry humped by some guy and enjoying it. But really it is just up to the girl, because there are deffinately some girls who totaly think it is fine for their boyfriend to go.
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Good question.
I suppose essentially, I disapprove of the whole idea of strip clubs. Women parade themselves like half dressed pieces of meat for a bunch of hungry wolves. I certainly wouldn't approve if my boyfriend wanted to go to one.
However, that being said, I would still like to go to see the Chippendales and how could I truly object to him going to a strip club when I would be prepared to do virtually the same thing?
I suppose the difference is that Chippendales are strictly look but don't touch and they have their status as performers, whereas strippers are stereotypically 'loose women' and not exactly untouchable.
Based on that, I suppose if it was a look only and don't touch scenario, I couldn't really say no to him but I would insist that he let me go and see the Chippendales to compensate!
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Hey,
I personally believe its wrong in every single way possible. I am really protective of my boyfriend.. I get pissed off even when he's watching pornos and stuff like that, because the fact that he's fantasizing about other girls.. well it just makes me feel completely un comfortable.
i figure..that allowing your boyfriend to go into a strip club with your permission.. is just going to give him the idea that you don't really mind what he does.. && that cheating is ok..
eventually he might have the desire to check it out && stuff.. you shouldn't really say no.. i mean you can't run his life..just tell him you wouldn't feel comfortable with that idea.. but if worst comes to worst and he absolutly wants to go.. go with him.. you'll feel much more comfortable knowing that you can monitor whats going on.
I would never let my boyfriend set foot in a strip club.. it just seems like .. idk a horrible idea.. && it could lead to cheating ..
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erm. dont be controling. if you are controling he will up and leave. guys dont like controling girlfriends at all. they like to feel like they are trusted. trust him until you are given a reason not to trust him. the strip club thing shouldnt be a big deal...just let him make his own choices..dont make his choices for him and dont try to pull a guilt trip on him if he does decide to go...let him go a few times and then ask if you and some of your friends can go along with. i know girls who like strip clubs more than guys do. if you can believe that. just let loose and have your fun and let him have his. hope i helped you out. good luck sweetie
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It's not totally wrong if a guy is just going maybe once a year for a bachelor party or event. If he's going all the time, then there's something wrong. If you pull the jealous act and out and out say NO, you are being wrong.... A good healthy relationship is completely honest and trusting.
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Have you ever seen the movie Cast Away?
Personally, I love crab... LOVE it. But after 4 years on a tropical island, I'd want a darn cheeseburger!
You're the crab...
If you think keeping him out of a strip joint will preserve the exclusivity of "turning him on," then you better batten down the hatches for a battle against cheerleaders, college parties, the swimsuit issue, excercise videos, National Geographic, beach volleyball, the mall, and anything with a hole in it.
You have no chance... I repeat, NO chance of being the only thing that turns him on. And if he tells you he's thinking about you when he "takes matters into his own hands," he either doesn't want to start a fight or he doesn't want you to know what REALLY turns him on.
Let the man have his escape. Just take Chris Rock's advice and don't let him eat lunch there...I'm pretty sure those folks aren't equipped with hair nets.
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umm. evn if you dotn let him hed go eventually. it a guy thing.
heres an unwritten list of our intrests writtin down for ya.
food
sleep
vidio games
TV
boobies.
there we go. now its not wrong or right. but either way hell go so its kinda piontless
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You asked, " do YOU think it's wrong to let your boyfriend go to a strip club?" My answer to you is that it ISN'T wrong to let him go. If you TRUST your man, then you have nothing to worry about. Even if there are a bunch of half naked women dancing on his lap or on the pole. You have to HAVE THAT TRUST otherwise your relationship won't survive. And it's best to let your boyfriend know that you do trust him. By making a big deal of your boyfriend going to a strip club, you're only creating more conflict in your relationship. Just inform him of your opinion and worries calmly and let him assure you that he won't do anything tawdry. Don't worry about if he does because if he does, then that will sort itself out. Then you'll obviously know that it wasn't meant to be, unless you want to work through that issue. But really, this is a test. To see if you TRUST HIM AND HIS ACTIONS. Are you daring enough to go through with it? Don't be. It'll let you know about him and the status of your relationship. So let him go. Remember, if you let him go, let him know that you trust him. Calmly, not in an accusatory tone, state your worries. Just let him know that you trust him. THAT'S MY OPINION ON THE THING.
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In my opinion, I would NEVER expect any boyfriend of mine to even suggest such a thing.
If the topic comes up in conversation, DO NOT be shy of telling him how you feel..you MUST tell him that you're uncomfortable with the idea.
Totally with you on this one!
x Steph x
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Looks like I am the odd one out here.
I have gone with my boyfriend to strip clubs. I find them hilarious and the one right near our home has really excellent lunch specials, cheapest place to eat in town. Most of the women are also incredibly nice and friendly if you are respectful to them…
Despite what you might think of us, my boyfriend and me are fiercely monogamous; strip clubs are just innocent fun for the both of us. I don't go to 'keep my boy in line' or make sure he behaves. If he wants to misbehave, a strip club isn't going to affect that. He will misbehave and all I can control is whether I dump him for it or not. Other woman are NEVER the threat, the boys own stupid decisions are what girls should worry about.
Men are going to get turned on by other women, especially teenage males. I hear stories of them getting turned on by loaves of bread or fast cars. They wake up turned on. It's a physical trigger that is not completely under their control. Please understand that and do not make your boyfriend feel guilty for it.
Never 'allowing' him to go is unrealistic. You can't make ultimatums like that without offending him (you wouldn't like it if he told you you could never go to a certain store or resturant agian). But certainly talk to him about your feelings. You might find he has absolutely no interest or curiosity in strip clubs and if that is the case, you don't have a problem.
If he does have an interest, telling him specifically what your fears are (that is will lead to cheating, that he wont be satisfied with you, that he will get lap dances ect.) might help the two of you come to some compromises that will let him have his fun and you still feel secure. If you decide to go with him, make sure you pick one where the food is good and drag some friends along that you can giggle and joke around with.
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If you trust the guy let him go and see what its like. So long as it doesn't become something he has to do every single weekend, the occasional night out with the boys won't do any harm.
I can't say that I "approve" of strip joints but they have been around for ages. I definitely do not approve of any touching or lap dances. So, if you can get him to agree to just watching that would be a plus.
It is definitely something to discuss with him. Let him know what your feelings about it are. :)
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Oh no3s. t3h 3vil bodi3s of oth3r women.
YOU should kill them all. DO NOT let your boyfriend use his own mind for himself.
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I share similar thought with you on this matter. My bf has been to one before I met him and the idea of this has came up since we have been together. At first I was like ok you can go - as long as im there with you. The thought of him going alone does bring up un-easy thoughts in my mind. I would like to think because he is so good to me that he would never cheat on me, but the thought of him getting lap dance from another woman pisses me off to no end. haha. Everyone has different opinions on this matter. If you dont want him to go, don't say YOUR NOT GOING! just tell him I would rather you didn't go, because it blah blah blah (whatever ur reason is) the reason I tell you to tell him this way is because men do not like a woman telling them what they can and cant do, that seems like there mom to them, and your not the mom, your the girl friend. If he really wants to go that bad then go with him. I told mine I would but he could not recieve lap dances. (lap dances is like the woman is basically dry humpin your man so hell nooo lol) after I told him i was ok with it, he stopped talkin about going so thats more than ok with me! He probably just wants some re-assurance from you that even thou he's with you that your not going to limit him from things he hasn't got the chance to try yet. In your question you said you didn't see why some women would go with there man to the stripclub, this is why, because its something there man really wants to try and they dont want him going by himself and so they go with him. If he really wants to go that bad, he'll go wether you want him to or not, so it's best to just accept the idea and go with him or find someone else who has already expierenced this and is ok with never going again.
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Hey i can completely relate to this.. Yes!! i totally agree of it being wrong..I don`t like the idea of my boyfriend wanting to watch porn either..[Which my boyfriend says he don`t want to go to a strip club unless i`m strippin but whatever]
Um i don`t think he should want to be around little strippers unless its like his bachlor party because i can understand they want to have fun && it`s there moment to be kinda free..but when they`re in a steady relationship i don`t see why they would want to go to a place like that i thought that was for lonely people..
I also don`t understand why ladies would want to go to a strip club with their boyfriend unless they`re there to like make sure nothing happens or maybe the ladie likes it herself..But i could sit there thru that i`d have to slap her for like touchin my boyfriend..I`m a very jealous girl..
Porn i guess is a bit different since the girl isn`t touching him and some girls like watchin it with there partner but i can understand if it teaches you somethings.. Ummm i hope i ansered this a bit..
♥Dez
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There really isn't anything wrong with him. He has seen porno and such. I would actually go with him, they are a lot of fun.
Don't think of it as him wanting to cheat, think of it as he just wants to enjoy himself. It's only just fun.
♥
xXx
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"How could you let your boyfriend get turned on by another woman?"
I can see how this would bother you, but it's really his choice. If he wants to go to a strip club to see naked girls dancing, then he's already being turned on by other women. If he doesn't want to go, it isn't an issue. I would let him go, but make sure it's in the company of friends, mutual friends if possible. If he goes with people you're both friends with, they'll definitely keep an eye on him.
As for controling his thoughts and desires, that's not possible.
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