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MY SLOGAN: TREAT YOURSELF!Hi my name is Jen - I am 33 and married; a graphic desinger, a big sister, movie lover, horse rider, and board game nerd.
advice
Dear Ruth,
Hi I got a problem and I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
I'm in a relationship for 2 years now with a married guy. I never asked him to do anything and to be honest I always had the hope that he will leave his wife one day. Well 6 weeks ago the army send him back to the states. Suddenly 2 weeks before he left he told his wife all about me and that he don’t want to be with her no more. So he ended up to go to Colorado to his next duty station by him self.
Well after he got the states we talked on the phone and talked every day on the Computer. He was different he rubbed old stuff in my face like 6 month ago I talked to people on the internet. The reason I did that was cause I really needed the attention what he couldn’t gave me because he still was living with his family in the same house and also made me believe for a while that he will never leave her. So I thought the only way to get over it is to keep my self busy or find someone who helps me get over it. I don’t know why I did that because I love him a lot and I would do anything to make this work me and him. Well like I said he rubbed in my face all the time and said he don’t need a girl who talked to other guys cause if I would love him I would never done that. I don’t know why he brought this up cause we talked about it and I told him why I did it and everything was alright again. I mean I even told him everything.
Anyways 2 weeks ago I went to the states to visit him and it shocked me that was not the guy I met and knew for 2 years. He was distance sometimes really quiet and it seamed he was thinking a lot. I was planning to stay 3 weeks there after 2 weeks he wanted me to go back home cause he said he needed time to think. I did understood it cause I know he never been by himself after he left her. There still lived at the same house for 2 weeks and she was yelling at him all the time. So I thought he needs to be by himself to start working at the stuff what happened the last few weeks.
I got back to Germany did not hear a week from him. Yesterday we talked on the phone again. He said he don’t care about anyone no more, he got no feelings for no one and he just want to be left alone. I was like ok if you telling me you don’t care about me no more I guess I wont care no more neither and hanged up. I was really said and hurt that he said this after all we went threw. I also was mad that I went to the states for a jack ass like that. Today I called him again I know it was wrong but I couldn’t believe what he told me the day before. Well the talked normal until he started the internet thing again. We pushed each other that
far that I told him everything I felt. I said that he is a liar for telling me 2 years that he loves me and never want to lose me. That I cant believe he told me before he left that he loves me and then 4 weeks later he don’t have any feelings for me anymore. You can’t stop loving someone in a short time like that. He said that I should start to understand that we will never be like we used to be and there is NO us in the further I can be his friend and if I cant respect that then we should stop talking and break it off all the way. I should get the prcture out of my heat that me and Him are married and have a life together. I denied that I had a picture like he thinks made up. He wants to be single the rest of his life and he doesn’t need that shit no more. He DID love that’s how he ended it.
I don’t know what to think I'm really confused we really went threw a lot of problems in those 2 years and he also used to be my best friend all that is gone. I can’t believe he just can turn his feelings off like that. I don’t believe him that he wants me to find an other Boyfriend I just cant. Maybe I’m the dumb one here and just can’t take it that he dumped me, but I can’t understand why he is acting like this. He always was honest to me and never said he will leave his wife until he actually did and I think that surprised him too. He told me that he never thought he was able to tell her about me. He told me about his problems with her and that he doesn’t love her no more but ever made me any hopes. So I know he did not just played with me for 2 years. I don’t know what to do this is not the guy I used to know.
Please help and tell me what to too. Right now I feel like I’m falling and falling and cant never get up again. I’m so hurt that I can’t even walk or think about anything else. I don know what to do no more. Please help me.
If there is anything else you want to know let me know. Sorry about my English but I’m German and I’m really up sad and cant thing straight.
Thanks Jasmin
Well if you are upset, how do you think his wife feels. Why does it suprize you that his feelings have changed? His feelings changed for his wife -which is why he was sleeping with you.
If he can cheat on his wife for two years, then you know he is a good lyer. How can you trust someone like that? If he truely ever did love you, he would have left his wife long ago to be with you. If he wanted to be with you, he'd make it happen. Instead he pulled you along for two years with no commitment!
Getting involved with a married person is just a bad idea. No matter what happens, it always ends badly for someone, and most often everyone.
Move on with your life, you deserve someone completely deticated to you. You should never have to share you man with someone. And the fact that you let this go on for two years makes you just as much falt as it is his.
im not getting into detail,but i was sick for half of monday,tuesday,and today i took a day off,im pretty recovered. (stomach virus)i was vomiting quite a bit.The thing is,i couldn't eat,and i was already skinny (naturally,runs in the family)so now im REALLY skinny,i look really awful,and i am surpirised that in only two days i became very skinny.I am trying to eat much,but i need help on some foods that will make me fatter by tomarrow.NO JUNK FOODS PLEASE.some healthy things.this whole day is to rejuvinate myself.im so upset.(im 4"7,and i was 72 pounds,and now i am i think 67)13,f.
I think it is a bad idea to eat a lot of anything after a stomach flu. Just take it easy and eat mild foods. Maybe try some pasta. But there is no need to worry about you weight. You'll be back to your normal self in a week or two.
Right now I have a decent paying job that I don't hate. I like most the people I work with and my boss. I'm in a position of power so I have a lot of control which is always good. However, I live an hour away from work. That's a lot of driving and a lot of money going to the car. I want a job closer to home and I have a job interview this week at a place in the town I live in. My problem is, the phone receptionist here is going to have to have her tonsils removed and won't be able to speak for awhile. We are the only people in the office that work full time and the only other phone person is in on Mondays and Tuesdays. I'll be needed here but I don't know when she's actually going to get them removed, need off work, etc. If I do find another job, should I take it? Should I mention my predicament and try to start at the new place after she gets better? I don't want to drive back and forth any longer than I have to but I don't want to leave this office in the lurch.
There will always be "some reason" you feel like you should stay. But I am sure the office you work for would still get by without you there. Don't let opportunites pass you by becuase you feel obligated to stay. Take the new job, and give your 2 week notice.
I have really bad dandruff on the back of my head and there are like yellow spots on my scalp there
is there any way i can take care of this????
thanksss
Nutrigena T-gel. It's a medicated shampoo.
Well I don't have photo shop but I want to photoshop my pictures. Does anyone else know how?
I bet your school computer lab has photoshop. Stay after school one day on work on them there.
how do u tell if a louis vituonn purse is real or not..my cousin gave it to my sister and my sister handed it down to me...is there anyway you can tell
Ill rate 5 for helping
Look at the craftsmanship. Everything should be perfectly stitched and lined up. There should be no funny puckering or loose/sloppy stitches. The zipper should close smoothly. I can always tell a fake LV from a mile away. The letters don't line up or the pattern is a little crooked.
Honestly I don't get LV. Why by thousands for a vinyl bag?
First of all I'll give a little background. I met my friend almost 10 years ago, we were both teenagers at the time and instantly clicked for some reason. We had little inside jokes and shared everything. I felt like she was the sister I never had. We talked about dating and as we grew older we discussed our marriages. She had a baby boy while I went through infertility and a miscarriage. That put a strain on our friendship because I was jealous and she didn't understand why i found it hard to be around her baby. We didn't speak for about 6 months and I finally wrote her a letter of apology. Then she moved away, we kept in contact and after a year she moved back and everything was just like it was before. By the way we were each other's maid of honors at our weddings. When I finally got pregnant she threw my baby shower and held my hand while I went to doctors appts and went through labor. We had our differences. She was very outgoing and I was shy. She had a lot of friends and I had a hard time making them. She was religious and I was undecided. I went through christianity to wicca and finally settled on atheism. She was christian but not a hard core bible thumper. After my baby was born we talked about parenting a lot. She believed in spanking and letting your child cry it out, I didn't. I expressed my disagreement but told her I thought everyone had the right to parent as they saw fit. We talked about politics and after 9-11 we both agreed that Bush should go into Iraq & Afghanistan. We both agreed that abortion was wrong. We talked about religion and she said she thought her other friend was going to hell because she was mormon. At this point she had started going to church religiously. I asked her where she thought I was going since I was atheist and she told me, hell. I hung up on her and cried but we patched things up a few hours later. I was hurt that despite knowing what kind of person I was that she still thought just because her bible said so that I was going to a place where they keep murderers and rapists in the same place as nonbelievers. I couldn't believe that she judged me like that. I thought she accepted me no matter what, after all I accepted her no matter what. Sure we had our differences but we also had things in common. I became more disenchanted with organized religion and talked about a paper I was writing that was anti-bible with her. After a lot of thinking I decided I was against the war in Iraq and we talked about that. I had pictures of her kids all over my walls and vise versa, we both babysat for each other and talked on the phone for hours at a time. Whenever she was upset about something I was there for her and vise versa. Her brother died of a drug overdose and I supported her through that. A few months later she started avoiding me. I would call and she would say she was busy. I just had a feeling she was mad at me. We had always said after the last time we didn't speak for 6 months that we would work things out next time and we would be friends until we were old ladies. So I asked her what was wrong and she said she was just busy. I accepted that answer. Then I get an email from her. She says that although she still cares about me, she's been wondering why we're friends still. Maybe it was just because we had known each other so long because we didn't have anything in common any more as far as politics, parenting and religion go. She said something like she didn't feel like we were good friends any more. I felt like she was saying that I couldn't be her best friend because I didn't vote to re-elect Bush, spank my kids and go to church every sunday like she did. I cried as I read her letter and felt like I had been slapped in the face. Like she was insulting everything that I stand for. I fired back and told her that I couldn't be her clone and that although we were different I never expected her to be just like me and change her views. She responded with "sorry you feel that way, have a nice life" that just made it worse, she didn't even care about ending a 10 year friendship! Just like that. Now I have no friends, nobody to talk to if I'm feeling blue or need to vent about my husband or chat about parenting or politics. I don't know how to make new friends and don't really want to because I'm afraid I'll just be rejected again for my different views. Sometimes I miss my friend so much and just want to call her and make up but I know I can't. What can I do to make this feeling go away? It's been almost a year and I'm miserable
I don't want to be mean, but from reading all this, you seem to come off as a needy person who is looking for approval. And if you don't get that approval - you get mad and think you are being judged.
I am guessing your friend thought it was more work to be friends then it was fun. And often that happens. Friends grow apart. And seeing how much you both dissagree on, I am suprized you stayed friends for so long.
I don't think your friend was judging you, she just doesn't have the same beliefes as you. (Which makes it hard to stay friendly) You seem to get so deffensive about it - "How can she judge me!" But I honestly don't think she is - you just have nothing in common - I am sure it is fustraiting for her too.
If you are constantly worried what people will think of you and your beliefs you will never find friends.
A male friend of mine that I've been hoping that one day will become more than friends with me was having a conversation with me one day. We were watching a Dr. Phil show about dead beat parents. I started telling my friend how I would raise my kids if I ever had them one day. My friend was listening intently and seemed to be really interested in what I had to say. Well after this he said to me "so when are you having these kids"? I got a little embarrassed and then told him that I hadn't thought about it (although I had, with HIM being the father) and said that I just knew I would be a great father. Then he said in a really quiet but sweet voice "yes, you would make a great mother some day".
Do you think this may mean he's interested in me as more than a friend, and may be contemplating having a family with me someday? He would make a great father, he's so good with kids.
Oh yeah, I am 28 and he is 45. We've both never had children.
I will rate high!
I don't know this man, but guessing by his age he is probably starting to think that he should maybe settle down. Yes - by your story - I do think he is hinting at something.
But be cautious. He is more likely looking for a wife and mother then someone to fall in love with.
My uncle was 39 when he asked the first women that took any interest in him to marry him. They are now married, but I honestly don't think they love each other.
How old Should a child be when they start dating?
Children shouldn't date.
I would say a teenager could start at 16 or 17 to go out on actual dates.
Last night I fell down the stairs and landed pretty hard on my "big toe" on my right foot. This morning, when I woke up, it was swolen and slightly bruised. It's extremely painful. I went down the stairs to ask my dad about it, and I forgot to walk on the side of my foot; I took a normal step (foot flat on the ground) and it hurt so bad that I started crying. I have a ballroom dance class and a Jewish/Russian dance class this afternoon. Going to a doctor is not an option. My dad thinks I broke it. What I want to know is, what can I do to make it less painful to dance and walk on? I've already taken pain reliever, but should I tape two toes together?
Thanks.
Unfortunatly if you break a toe there is not much that can be done. There is no point for you to go to the doctor. I would recomend keeping off your foot when possible, and take your shoes off when you can. Give your toe room to breath. Is there any way you can take a break from dancing for the day (at least). Putting stress on it will only make it worse. If you must dance, make sure to ice it when you get home.
Taping your toes together might give it a little more support. But really there is not much you can do for a broken toe. It just needs time to heal.
I just got my car serviced and they told me that I needed to replace my brakes, front and back. I asked them how much it would cost and they told me about 450 dollars. Well that is a lot of money for me because I only work part time and I rent an appartment. Does anyone know if they are trying to rip me off or is this the normal price that they charge to replace brakes?
For just break pads - yes it's too much. But if they are actually replacing the rotors, caliper and front and back breaks, then yes, sounds fair to me. I think it was $650 for me. But I think they did my break lines too.
Sorry, but cars are expensive. Actually $500 is a cheap repair lol. I always ended up spending at least $750+ when my car needs something.
what is the best diet pill to take to lose weight?
Diet pills won't do you any good. All they do is either make you feel not hungry, or raise you metabolism so you can burn more calories.
Going on any form of diet is pointless unless you know what your body needs. As soon as you go off the diet (or stop taking pills), you will gain back all the weight you just lost because it is not a normal lifestyle.
You should just teach yourself to eat healthy. Pay attention to what and how much you eat.
Counting calories is a great way to teach yourself how much you should be eating. I think you'd be suprized how much they add up over the little things.
How much can a person loose by working with this schedule.
All healthy food. And a reasonable amount.
Example of what I'd eat
Breakfest- Special K cerial, glass of Milk.
Lunch- Sandwich (Ryebread,mustard, ham) water, theese no calories no fat chips that are really good. And probably an orange or an Apple.
Snacks- fruits and sometimes a really small salad.
Dinner- whatever my mom cooks with water.
I'd workout in the morning for an hour.
I'd work out in the after noon for about an hour.
And how much would be reasonable to loose a week.
Like whats the highest and then lowest possible could be lost.
Thank you.
When starting a healthy diet, you usually lose 3-5 pounds the first week, and then 1-2 pounds each week following. (Some weeks you may not loose any weight.) Slow and steady is the best way to loose weight and keep it off.
(It took me 3 months to loose 15 pounds just by counting calories - 1500 a day.)
That's an ambitious exercise schedule. Good luck!
I must know about these no calorie chips. How is it they have 0 calories. Are they invisible?
Okay, well I'm not that good of a singer, and I know that. But, I have a beauty pageant coming up, and you have to have a talent, and singing is all I can come up with. I can also tumble pretty well, so idk if I should do that or not. I have a round-off back-handspring, standing back-handspring, round-off back-handspring series, and standing back-handspring series.
So I have 3 questions:
-Should I sing, or should I tumble?
-If I choose to sing, what are some tips to help an amature?
and BTW, the talent has to be 2:30 seconds long.
Thank you so much if you can help!
Well if you can't really sing, then don't. If you sing a song off key it is just painful to listen to. I'd rather see an ok tumbler than an ok singer.
And besides, most people can sing ok, but few people can actually tumble - that's talent.
15/f goin out wit 16/m. i need to know two things. one it is about to be our 6 month anniversary and i dont know what to get him. he loves football (the eagles) he likes rap and R&B. i dont and cant work so i dont want to go over 40 dollars. and i also need to figure out something for valentines day. i wont be able to see him on that day but i will be able to see him on the 13th so i can give him what i want. but i dont know what. i was thinkin like a teddy bear and choclate but do guys really like that stuff? any help will be appericated.
It always confuses me when people ask strangers what to get for their boyfiend. I would hope you have a better answer then we do. If you are unsure, ask people that actually know something about him - like his friends of family.
Guys don't usually care too much about material objects. Try planning a nice evening out - like dinner or a date at a sporting event instead.
IMO most valentines gifts are corney, cheap, and a waste of money - what's your boyfriend want with a dumb bear?
Make him homemade cookies or take him to a romantic dinner.
I have a friend (24/f) that constantly asks me for advice. At first, I was flattered that she trusted my judgement. However, now it has got to the point that she calls me for every little thing going on in her life. She seems incapable of making any decision on her own, even if it's a small decision. One day, she actually called from the store to ask what toothpaste to buy. When she calls, she expects me to drop everything and help her figure out a solution for her problem.
She also seems to trust only my advice. At one point, she called me with a medical concern. While I have worked in health care, I am not a doctor. I told her I didn't feel like I was qualified to answer her question and that she should see her doctor. She refused to see the doctor and said that only I could figure it out.
I hate to be rude to her since she's always been there for me. She was one of the few people that stood beside me when I fled an abusive relationship. Almost everyone else in my life thought I was crazy for leaving what they saw as a great guy. She offered me money and a place to stay until I got on my feet and could make it on my own again.
I've tried telling her that I'm busy and not always able to take her calls, but it seems to have no effect. I'm also worried that her inability to make a decision on her own could have an effect on her life and health. As much as I want to be there for her when she needs me, I can't sit by the phone all day and I'm not always qualified to help her. Any suggestions?
Instead of giving her advice, try encouraging her to make her own decision instead.
If she asks you to choose between two things, don't choose. Ask what she would choose.
The tooth paste question for example - Instead of giving her a brand name, tell her she is fully capabale of choosing one herself. Tell her to read the lables if she is unsure and remind her not to stress, it's just tooth paste.
The medical question: Put her in your shoes, I'd say - "If I were you, I'd see the doctor, because I don't know the answer either."
Stop giving her all the answers - instead give her solutions to find the answers herself.
And remember, you don't always have to answer the phone.
Does anybody know about stuffing envelopes in your own home for money? I'd Like to know if its a scam or not.
Then if you guys know if its successful and not a scam I'd like the website and etc.
It's a scam, and here is how it works:
You can find ads in the paper for envelop stuffing all the time. "Send in $1 for an informaiton pack." The information pack you recive tells you to create your own ad in the paper. So now when some one sends you $1 requesting information, you "sutff and envolpe". You just made $1 for stuffing 1 envelop!
You could make $100s in week!!!!!!!!
(If that many people feel for your scam!)
Me and my best guy friend have liked eachother for about a year and a half and now we are both single and for about a month we're going to be friends with benefits and then date. Him and I went out for a day before but I broke up with him because I wanted my ex back. I know.. that was REALLY messed up. But I don't know how to just randomly kiss him. I'm way too scared. I don't know why though, I always have felt comfortable around him and now I'm all shy. Why the sudden change??!! I'm really in love with him. And he is in love with me and I want to make out with him but how do I approach it? When should I do it? I need to know.. the only time we can see eachother is in school. But I need to know how to become less shy when im gonna kiss him and I want to suprise him but I have like no guts lol
please help
I'll rate 5's!
How old are you? Do you even know what "friends with benifits" means? Seeing that you are too shy to kiss a guy, I don't think that you do.
Life is not like the movies. Randomly kissing your ex for an unexplained reason will not have him jumping into your arms. Instead why don't you just tell him you miss him and want him back. That is much more mature and easier for that matter.
If you want a divorce but your spoude refuses to sign the pepers, are you still married until they sign them? Or can they be forced to sign them? Or do they even need to, to be fully divorced? Thanks all! I rate!
I highly suggest you hire a lawyer if your husband is being this difficult. Even if he is not being corporative, with some legal help you can still get a divorce.
ok i have a problem, well one summer my friends cousin came and i really started to like him and after a while that like turned into love then he really started to like me, after ahile we started going out, we went out for only one day though =/ and now 1 year later we`re still talking and his profile says " thinking of her " and when i asked him who it was to he said it was to me but we have spoken since then. he doesnt know where we stand and neighter to i. im confused because i still like him ALOT and he says he likes me but we dont know what to do seeing how he lives in new jersey and i live in florida . . CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME ! i rate high for this one !
At your age you should date someone you have access too. A long distance relationship will not work if you are never able to see eachother. Nor is it worth starting a long distance relationship with someone you went on one date with.
He is a nice guy you went out with one day over a year ago. Enjoy the memory and move on with your life.