My name is Jen, I go to school, and occasionally learn things. I love James Dean, Hanson, Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings by Megan McCafferty, Fall Out Boy, Elton John and Billy Joel. These make me overly qualified to give advice ESPECIALLY since I spend the vast majority of my time watching and obsesing over Oprah.
I've been through some stuff, and watched even more drama on TV, so I can help with your problems, no matter what your story is Wishbone.
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: GT Queen/ university student
Age: 19
Member Since: September 17, 2004
Answers: 328
Last Update: October 2, 2006
Visitors: 32979
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Hey! This is Donutholez567
Alright well, i have a lot more questions on my post.
and i hope i dont get banned for this but do u have AIM. sorry to bother you really,i am. (link)
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sorry, no AIM. Put your questions in the post though, chances are someone else has them too.
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I was at cheerleading practice yesterday and I must have turned my neck the wrong way to fast cause it popped and started burning. It went away for a minute, then I got this excrusiating pain in my neck. I can't turn it to the right, or lean it back, and if I'm laying down I have to use my hand to pull my neck up when I want to stand up. Has this happened to anyone before, and how long will it last? thanks =] (link)
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It really depends how much you continue to strain your neck. It shouldn't last longer than 3-4 days though. This happens to me on a fairly regular basis, and if I have a day off to just lay with tonnes of pillows it goes away faster. So obviously even after you are feeling better, take it slowly at practice at first.
If you can, take a muscle relaxer, but I've found the best thing for it is the magic bag. You know those really stinky bean bags you put in the microwave and they get hot? If you don't have any of those, try moist heat, like a hot, wet face cloth.
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okay. So I recently started shaving my crotch area. But now it like .. hurts when I have to go to the bathroom. Do I have like an STD or is from shaving? Because I know that area can get infected easily. God, I'm so scared. I really hope I don't have an STD. (link)
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no, you cannot get an STD from anything but sexual contact.
Shaving irritates the area, especially if you are a little rough. You could be experiencing some ingrown hairs or razor burn. Or even a small little nick in that area.
If however it burns when you pee, and this feeling continues on and worsens than it could be a bladder infection or UTI, which also aren't STDs, and are unrelated to shaving.
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I have a car but only my permit. My boyfriend has had his license for awhile, but no car! This whole situation gets frustrating because it'd be easier to get around if one of us was driving. My mom is strict but she likes my boyfriend. How could I convince her to let my boyfriend drive us around in my car sometimes? He's trustworthy and a great driver. (link)
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It might not be a matter of whether or not your mom trust your boyfriend, it's probably a matter of insurance. Depending on your policy, your boyfriend (and other casual drivers) might not be insured, so if an accident occurs your mother is liable, causing an insurance hike. Plus it's also illegal to drive without insurance.
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my cat is spaid-but he's still peeing on things-why is this? please help :(
thank you (link)
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from what I know spaying has nothing to do with peeing. Being spayed means your cat is unable to have any kittens, or if it is a male cat it was neutered- spaying is for females. It's a matter of training your cat to go in the litterbox now.
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i got my cartilage peirced on saturday and it was fun that day and sunday but monday it started swelling up and its been five days and its red and swollen is that normal? when i clean my piercing it doesnt hurt and when i rotate the stud it doesnt hurt at all but the redness and the swelligness makes me feel weird. can you tellme what i can do? (link)
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swelling is normal, especially if you had your cartilege pierced with a gun. It will stay swollen longer if you sleep on that side, or play with it too. The only thing you can really do is take asprin or put a cool cloth on it, and avoid touching it.
If the pain becomes unbearable at any time, or if there is discharge, then take it out. Right now it doesn't sound infected, this sounds like the normal healing process (it should start to itch, which is also normal). However, if you notice the growth of a keloid- a bump of skin, beside the stud, take it out. Keloids are permanent, and not so pretty. I don't wear mine all the time, and there is no noticeable scar, just the hole where it goes in.
The person above me said you should clean it with peroxide which is a huge huge huge no no. You bleach your hair and clothing with peroxide, you never ever ever want to put it directly on your skin. Keep cleaning it with what the piercer gave you, or use a very gentle cleanser like baby soap.
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How do you deal with backseat drivers? My mom and my boyfriend are the absolute worst! With my mom, I tend to get really nervous when she starts up and it greatly affects my driving. And when my boyfriend does it, it just makes me upset to where I just pull over and let him drive.
And I know most of you are going to say talk to them but we all know that doesn't work. I've talked to my mom about it plenty of times and she stop for about 30 seconds until she sees a red light and says something like, "Make sure you don't run that!!" Yeah okay mom, like I don't see the red like AND all the other cars stopped in front of it.
(link)
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DeadPoetics idea is really good for dealing with your boyfriends backstreet driving habits.
For your mom however, I think you might just have to deal with it. My mom has done this to me since the day I started driving, and her father still does it to her. I'd work on tuning her out. Or just plain saying "well it'd be a lot easier to concentrate on my driving if you weren't distracting me" or just turn up the radio everytime she speaks. Another idea is any time she drives you anywhere, correct her driving. It might be a little easier because you're fresh from your test so you haven't fallen into bad habits as she may have- make sure she keeps her two hands on the wheel, remind her to check her rearview mirrors, the three second stop at stop sign rules, etc. She may want to strangle you, but it will get your point across.
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Okay. so, i know that when you want to eat healthy you don't go to McDonalds. But what I don't know is what you look for on the labels of food I mean, what are things that are good? Low calories? Low Carbs? stuff like that? Also, what types of foods are good to eat if you want to loose about 10 pounds but while also working out? I'd really appreciate if you would help me out. thnx (link)
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Losing weight doesn't have to cost a lot, you don't have to go buy a tonne of books or fancy food scales.
Since you're aiming for ten pounds, it might be easier to cut things out, or substitute rather than drastically modify your eating habits. Drink 8 glasses of water a day, especially if you are working out. Instead of snacking on cookies or chips, have some fruits or vegetables. If you're a big pop drinker, cut down, or cut it out entirely, you'll be surprised at how much of a difference that alone works. Or you can just keep track of how many calories you eat a day. How to do that is explained here http://weightloss.about.com/cs/nutrition101/l/blcalories.htm
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which is better an Ipod or an Mp3 player and y? (link)
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it depends what you need from your mp3 player. If you only have a couple hundred songs, than obviously an mp3 would be your best and cheapest bet.
If you have videos, and lots of music, well then maybe an iPod is best for you. Or if you have lots of music, but also want to be able to listen to the radio or record audio than you should go with an mp3 (I believe Zen mp3 players have this function).
Another big factor is how hard you would be on your actual mp3 player. I have an iPod video, and it scratches very easily, and cases are fairly expensive. You might want to invest in something a little sturdier if you're going to toss it into your backpack, take it camping whatever.
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This past weekend me and my boyfriend had gotten really close to sex or we did.. depending how you look at it. I don't know if he popped my cherry or not. We got to the point of having sex to where he put it in that it hurt me, and Then he just pulled out. I've been getting a few random spots of blood. (3 days after) Its not red red like a period. Plus i just got over my period like 2 days before this all happaned. So I don't think its that. He had fingered me about 8 months before this and I thought he had popped my cherry that way. I also then got a few spots. My question is .. what do you think this is? Is it possible that he didn't completely pop it the first time, and that he just popped it for real this time or even more so?
I just need to know what happaned. Please (link)
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your cherry does not literally pop. Your hymen is a thin bit of skin, that already has a small opening in it. When you are fingered, have sex, insert a tampon, you do not break it for good, it stretches open. It's likely that the spotting you're experiencing is from your hymen being stretched more.
There could also be a chance that this is still from your period. Some girls spot a few days after their actual period, and the blood can be brownish as it is 'older'.
However, if the spotting continues make sure you have it checked out by a doctor, as it shouldn't last very long.
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Alright so i was wondering if any1 got their cartilage pierced at a professional place? (link)
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I had my cartilege pierced at a store in the mall, and I wouldn't recommend it. I have my lip pierced, and my ears three times, and that was easily the worst pain I've been in. However, that's becasue it was done with a gun. I'd go to an actual piercing tattoo parlor to have it done, the needle doesn't have the force of a gun, resulting in less pain, and it is much more hygenic. Plus they will usually pierce your cartilege with a hoop first, which is generally easier to clean than a stud.
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15/F..Okay, well there's this kid who i really like, and he supposedly likes me. We've been talking for over a month, and he still hasn't asked me out or anything. Last week i asked him about it and he freaked out, and to sum it up he pretty much said to forget we ever talked in the first place. But then, and i'm not exactly sure how this happened, we decided to be "friends with benefits" i'm not sure if that's what i want, but i think that maybe if we do that, he'll want an actual relationship. But then there's this other kid, who is so very sweet, and i like him...alot. I have no idea what to do, but i think i'm pretty much in love with them both, and i think this is a for-real thing, because i don't like to throw that word around..i just wanted someones honest opinion on this whole situation..what would you do if you were me? (link)
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If you really like the guy you're in a friends with benefit relationship, it's best to be up front that you're in it for more. There's a good chance that your FWB does like you as more, but he's just nervous, and if you say he doesn't have to deal with the relationship stuff, he won't make a move too. Girls tend to care a little more about those things.
The way I see it is you have several options.
First one being, stay FWB with first boy, and keep talking to second boy, just feeling each other out. That way you can make the decision with more information. However, it might be a little hard or straining to carry on both at once.
Number two option is telling FWB that you want more. Which he can either agree to or disagree too. If he agrees then great. If he disagrees, well you have the second guy, and he'll see what he's missing.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
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is it true that if you charge your cell for a certain amount of time ..then it wont be able to charge ever again? and is it the same with ipods? because my friends ipod cant charge cause she said she has charged it for a certain amount of time.. i was just wondering if this was true or not for the cell phone..
and i have the razor one from cingular if that helps (link)
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I don't think charging would be the problem with your friends iPod. I leave my iPod to charge over night, sometimes all day. It stops charging and turns off once it's done. Sometimes, even if I don't need to charge it, I'll just plug it into my computer to upload songs, and then leave it. I've had no issues with it what so ever. So I don't think it would be a problem with a cell phone either.
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If a pregnant woman is killed, it's considered a double homicide then why are abortions looked upon differently? I've heard things like when a pregnant woman is killed, it wasn't her choice but it is her choice in the case of an abortion. But, she isn't killing herself when it comes to abortions; she's doing it to another, developing human being. So that just doesn't make sense to me. (link)
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Generally in the case of pregnant women who are killed- they want to have the baby. Laci Peterson is a good example, she was eight months along, had her baby named, was excited etc. The baby could have easily lived had Laci gone into labour at the point.
While I'm not sure how far a long a woman must be in pregnacny during her death for it to be considered a homicide, I assume there should be a considerable difference between a woman who is two weeks pregnant, and one who is thirty two weeks.
People differ on whether or not abortion is killing a human. However it isn't legal to abort a baby that could be viable outside the womb. Many people differ on when a fetus can be considered a human being. Some may say birth, others six months, and other conception. As it lies, abortion is legal. No one is forcing you to have one, so if you think it's killing a human being, let those people deal with it in whatever afterlife you believe exists.
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I'm a little bit confused about something.
I heard that tea is a diuretic (makes you need to pee a lot) but that it also dehydrates you.
Now, if you need to drink a lot so that your body excretes toxins from your body and tea helps you to wee a lot, does it help more to get toxins out of your body or does it not flush anything out because it goes through you so quickly?
Sorry if that doesn't make much sense but I'm trying to be a bit healthier so I'm wondering how good tea is for you.
Also, are there any health benefits to drinking tea? (link)
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Well it makes sense that if tea is a diuretic, it will also dehydrate you, because if you pee more, you have to drink more than usual.
Green tea in particular has a lot of health benefits, it has been shown to prevent cancer, and alzheimers. You can look at the rest here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_tea#Health_benefits
Chamomile tea is also a great relaxer and can relieve cramps, and inflamation.
Try checking out a health store, or natural food place, they sell many different kinds of tea, and they're usually labelled with their different benefits. Some grocery stores carry them as well. Just remeber to keep drinking other fluids as well, you need milk and variety!
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I am 20, a little athletic but i could stand to lose 20 pounds (i'm just a shade under 6' tall, 221 lbs.). I show everyone respect, I'm always referred to as a 'great friend' or 'like a big brother', but no matter how much i try i cannot get past that image. i'm either not seen as a date-able person or everyone i try to get close to lies and leads me on instead of telling me the truth and letting me know why they're not interested or what i was doing wrong. Am i doomed to be forever in the hell that we guys call the "Friend-zone"?
Any and all suggestions are welcome, but I have had enough 'help' from other guys. please understand that i'm looking for the female's answer to my problem.
thank you,
Confused-&-Sad (link)
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Have you ever heard someone complain about girls not liking nice guys? Well for some girls it's kind of true. I'm not saying you should tell them to shut up and slap them around, obviously. But one of the reasons you're probably getting stuck friends with them is because you open yourself up really fast to them, and you'll listen to their problems and such- just like one of their girl friends would do. Some people kind of like the thrill of the chase, so don't tell girls that you like them, tease them, let them stress about it a little (because trust me we will, you could look at us funny and we could write a novel). The reason some girls have been leading you on, is because they don't want to hurt your feelings. I'm not saying you should put that aside, but when you first meet a girl, don't talk about how you love puppies, and the miracle of life, wildflowers, and how you write romantic poetry in your spare time, because pace it out. If a girl thinks you're not sensitive and going to cry when she tells you she's just not that into you, she probably won't- because nobody wants to look like a jerk, and some girls prefer being the sensitive one in the relationship. I'm not trying to say you're any of these things, it's just stuff I've noticed in my own experience.
If you're not comfortable with changing aspects of your personality, which hey, you shouldn't have to if you do have tonnes of great friends, there's a way easier way to do this. All those girl friends of yours? They have single friends, and you already have something in common- a friend. Ask, it can't hurt anything. If nothing comes of it, at least you've got some practice in for sweeping that awesome girl off her feet when you meet her.
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My parents are always bugging me about coming home at unreasonable times, and my mom assumes that I am into drugs, smoking, and drinking alcohol. I dont know how to gain their trust, so that they will respect me more. I always seem to blurt out words to them, and they yell at me all the time. I dont know how to handle this situation, because they are destroying my social life. (link)
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the best way to handle this situation is like everyone else talk to your parents. Tell your parents where you're going, and who you will be with, if they don't know who they are introduce them. If you have a cell phone tell them you can always be reached, or give them a rough estimate of what time you'll be home at.
Your parents probably just feel like you're closed off to them, so they worry that you're hiding something. Talk to them, about anything, tell them how your day went, something stupid that happened at lunch, whatever. If they feel like they know your friends a bit better, and that you'll come to them with any problems they'll relax.
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I'm 14/f
Lately i've been bruising really easily mainly on my legs and i don't know where there even coming from i have alot on my legs and it's kinda frekin me out.
Is there like a nutritional illness i might have like not eating right or somthing or dose it sound like i just get hurt alot and don't realize it? (link)
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you should definitley go to your doctor, but don't get panicked. It could be something as simple as lacking a nutrient. It sounds like you might possibly be low in iron- if you're also having dizzy spells, losing hair, and feeling lethargic it's most likely low iron.
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Is god real im confused (link)
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That's a decision you come to on your own terms, not one your religion makes for you, or other people. If you are unsure of what you believe, research different religions, you might find one that expresses your beliefs perfectly. Or you may not. It doesn't mean you have to have a religion, or that you are wrong for not having one. Not everyone needs religion to make their life more fulfilled or meaningful. Some people do, but don't feel inadequate if you feel you are living life the way you feel right, whether or not a particular religion justifies your actions.
A good way to start learning about different religions, or agnosticsm or atheism is google, or wikipedia.
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okay, i know its summer but im taking a writing class and we need to write a research paper on anything that interests us. I really want to write about either Freddie Mercury or Queen. The paper is only to be 6-8 pages long. Does anyone have any good topics i can use out of Queen or Freddie Mercury? thankss (link)
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well Freddie Mercury died of AIDS complications. It might be interesting to take your paper to discuss how his role as an openly gay performer influenced the gay community, and the general publics. Or what role his death took in the AIDS crisis in the eighties.
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