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I'm 24 and I recently got married. The problem is that my mother is horrible to me. She has always been. She refused to be involved with the wedding in anyway, she refuses to have contact with my kids because she says they are bad(how bad can a 4and 2 year old and a 10 month old be?), she hates my husband and says its his fault she won't come around. She does not "allow" me to talk to my 17 year old brother unless she is there. And she won't allow me to see my daughter that she conned me into letting her adopt. That's not how mothers are supposed to treat their children. She recently told me she doesn't want to see me anymore. Should I just cut her out of my life and let it be? (Indeed)
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If you really want your biological daughter back, then there are some legalities that will help you. However, the court would have to find that it is in the best interest of your daughter to be with you and not your mother. In most cases, if the family is stable enough, the courts are pleased that a biological parent wants to take responsibility for their child so they might be in favour of you.
If you are only interested in seeing your daughter on a more casual basis, that may be up to your daughter (depending on her age) and a social worker who finds that it wont be too confusing to visit with you occasionally.
Your mother cannot run your life. She doesnt sound like a good person so I say - why do you want her around a lot? You may be better off if you let your mother have whatever space she desires and live your life as happily as possible without that horrible woman coming in and shaking things up for the sake of some attention.
Tell her that it has been a long time since you have needed her and if she doesnt want to be a real family then she has her own family that deserves your time and caring.
As for your brother - trying to meet with him or having your mother know that you are meeting with him behind her back may result in a negative outcome for your brother since he lives with her. Soon he will probably be out on his own or in college and thats when you will get to visit him as much as you two agree upon. As for now, this is something very difficult - you dont want to put your brothers well being in danger from your mother and you need to have contact with your brother. If its possible - try to work something out with your mother where she can be present and you can still get to see your brother, it may suck but at least you get to see him and talk to him. Your mother might be afraid that you are going to turn her son against her or something crazy like that.
You need to focus on your own family now, especially in the beginning of your new family. If your mother doesnt want to be part of it - then you cant really force her. Good luck!
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i am addicted to cutting my wrists and i know its bad but i just cant stop what should i do? im not going to go to a doctors because they just dont understand and i didnt tell my parents because they would think i was crazy (Indeed)
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I know you may be terrified to do this but - you need to talk to your parents. If you can't face them with this problem and tell them whats going on then you may want to write a letter to them so that they can approach you about it when they are willing to accept whats going on in your life.
In the mean time, this will sound silly and unthinkable - but stop cutting. Easier said than done right? I know.
Get a notepad. Seriously. Just get one and make sure its all yours and safe and you can even personalize it and make it all your own. When you are upset or angry or frightened write it down in your book, write WHATEVER you feel like - swear scratch the pages, scribble, draw, write angry hateful poetry - just get the emotion out without shedding your own blood. AND (THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT) after each time you feel the need to go to your notebook and write about feeling depressed or angry or whatever, write 'But I am going to be okay, because I'm worth it.'
If you are going to use a notebook PROMISE that you will write that after each time you use it.
**I am going to be okay because I'm worth it**
And make that on a big piece of paper and put it up on the wall of your room and if someone asks why simply say - Motivation. Thats all they need to know.
If you ever need someone to talk to, someone who is going to reassure you when you are feeling your lowest - dont ever hesitate to call the childrens help phone. They operate 24 hours a day and there will always be someone there to talk to if you ever feel like you cant handle it anymore.
800-442-HOPE theres the number. There will be someone for you to talk to.
Tell yourself that cutting is not the way to make the pain go away - its only a temporary solution, you know that you dont want this. So please stop yourself. Find a way, find the power inside yourself to convince yourself you dont need to hurt yourself to make things better - you dont need to. Get a notebook and tell yourself its going to be okay.
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aaalritez.. im a 14 year old girl..im dealing with this guy.. ive been going out with him off and on for a while.. first 4 months.. now.. i forget.. i lost track.. anyways.. in february.. i was put on lockdown.. so i couldnt see him as much.. we talked a lot though.. but now i find myself getting bored of him.. but we have a history..n i would feel bad about dumping him.. what do i do? (Indeed)
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You've expressed that you have doubts and negative feelings towards the relationship. If you feel that it doesnt feel right to YOU anymore - well then you should end the relationship. It may hurt badly because of your history together but it will be for the best in the end.
You dont want to end up staying in a relationship for the wrong reasons, then you may just end up resenting this guy even more and the relationship could end very badly, with a whole lot of hurt feelings and it will be worse the longer you let it go. End things gently and move on with both of your lives.
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im 13 ok for my period i wear pads iv never tried a tampon and i wanna use a tampon but my mom doesnt wear tampons and i dont think she will let me wear tampons i donno why. nut how can i go to teh store and buy tampons without her knowing? (Indeed)
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Well you can always just walk to store near your house and grab some tampons on your own. But, you should definitely talk to your mom about this. She may have some good advice or reasons why she doesnt think you should be using tampons. Or maybe, its only a personal choice for her not to use them and she wont have a problem if you use them. Talk to her and see what she has to say.
Word to the wise though. Never go without changing a tampon for more than 3 hours. Read all the labels and instructions on the box, don't be afraid of them - just be informed. You dont want to hurt yourself and or have something happen to you as a result. Tampons have been related to toxic shock syndrome which unfortunately I dont know a great deal about, it does give you information about toxic shock syndrome on the side of a tampon box however, you should look it up on www.google.com so that you learn more.
Talk to your mom, she has experience and will be able to help you out with this I am sure of it.
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Hi my name is Bailey, i am 13 yrs. old and in the 7th grade. I would like to be either a dancer, singer,poem writter, or a film maker. I like doing all of theese things what should i do to figure out which path i should take to find my career (Indeed)
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its great that you're thinking ahead. It might be tough to get into the business of dancing, singer or writing poems but film maker is not so far fetched.
If you were to become a film maker you could use all of your talents in writing and performance to your benefit to make some really awesome films. I would say - look into the business of film making, try and organize your own mini film with some friends as actors. Get onto the career websites at your school or even at home in your own time and find out what being a professional film maker entails.
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do I need to wather the tree and hoew long will it take to start to sprout and grow
(Indeed)
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For this specific tree, you dont need to water it very often. A leucaena tree can survive even a tough drought! Feel free to keep it in your backyard in a place with full or partial sunlight, make sure it has enough light reaching it to live and also make sure that it doesnt get too much sun or it will get scorched. You might not need to water it if you have it outdoors and its somewhat rainy - since it is spring after all. If there is no rain for a long time and the soil around the tree is cracked and dry - give it some water, BUT NEVER OVER WATER IT. Just enough to soak the roots, over watering can kill the plant just as easily as no water at all.
Make sure you dont leave the tree anywhere where the temperature is lower than -12 degrees C or 10 degrees F.
Also, make sure that the pot that you have your tree in has good drainage - meaning that it needs to have holes in the bottom. If you place another flat object underneath that can catch the liquid that comes out of the drainage holes in the tree pot then whatever if left over the plant will suck back up when it needs it or it will simply evaporate.
The tree will bloom with pale yellow powder puff flowers, in large flushes, in spring or summer after large rains. They are followed by brown flat seed pods, 3 to 5 inches long (7.5-12.5 cm).
which means if you are keeping the tree outdoors and you get a nice heavy rainfall this spring - its going to have some really pretty flowers blooming which will turn into seeds shortly after.
It will be very pretty :)
One more thing - Make sure you dont leave your tree where animals like rabbits and raccoons might get to it - they like to eat the leaves off this specific tree type!
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do I need to wather the tree
(Indeed)
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Yes, you do need to water a tree. Always water plants and give them plenty of sunlight!
Otherwise they will not grow whatsoever!
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i really really want to be popular in school!! i want more than anything to be in the popular group and everytime i try i get even nerdier!! what can i do??? PLEASE HELP!!!
WANNA BE (Indeed)
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Dont try. People will respect that you are okay with yourself and that you dont worry about what others think of you.
Learn to accept yourself for who you are and you will become more self confident - tell yourself that it doesnt matter who dislikes me - I'm great no matter what.
That kind of confidence really attracts people to you.
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We have started a College Life forum over on that litle spacefem place...
...even if you don't directly post to it (it is also a new member group like BL and the RPG one...) - I was hoping that you might have some insight on what it takes to apply and get accepted to college in Canada. Meta is posting about it, but he's already in college, and he's a guy from Quebec (can he really be trusted?? ;)
So, yeah... think you might have a few words of wisdom? (Indeed)
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I took a look.
Heres some advice from me and if you could post it for me, that'd be awesome. You can reference me or not, its your choice really.
Actual applications:
(sites to visit)
www.ouac.on.ca/ (for UNIVERSITIES within ONTARIO)
www.ontariocolleges.ca/ (for COLLEGES within ONTARIO)
Heres an article for Canadian colleges/universities with useful information
Post-Secondary Education in Canada: The Basics
First, let's tackle some terminology before you make any life-altering decisions. Colleges and universities, what's the difference? And which type of school should you choose? Check out these explanations.
College
Community colleges, colleges and CEGEPs in Canada offer a world of courses and programs - so shop around! College programs typically offer specialized training that will allow you to get hands-on experience for the real world. You'll receive a certificate or diploma from these kinds of schools, usually after one or two years. Some examples of college programs include dental assistant programs, animation, agriculture, and travel and tourism.
University Colleges
These institutions are exactly what the name implies. They offer both degree programs and diploma or certificate programs. It may sound confusing, but once you take a closer look at a school (try our School Search), you'll see which programs get you a degree and which get you a diploma or certificate.
Universities
These are the places to go if you are planning to become a teacher, a doctor, a lawyer, an accountant or another type of professional, or if you're interested in academic study. Remember, there are lots of different fields, so you'll finally get a chance to find out everything you've ever wanted to know about genetics, psychology, astronomy, or even religion.
Universities offer various types of degrees. There are undergraduate degrees like the Bachelor of Commerce, Bachelor of Arts or Bachelor of Science. For students who already have an undergraduate degree, there are graduate or post-graduate degrees, including the master's (e.g. Master of Business Administration or MBA) and doctorate programs leading to Ph.D.s.
The Real World
Wondering how college and university education applies to the real world? Check out your local employment and career listings, and look for some of the certificate and degree programs that are required for any particular position. Your career or guidance counsellor knows all about how diplomas, certificates and degrees apply to the real world, so pull him or her aside and ask for help! Your counsellor will probably tell you to start thinking about the activities you enjoy.
Application Centres
If you're thinking about a school in Alberta, British Columbia or Ontario, make sure you understand how the application centres work. They handle their university and college applications through central application centres.
(from http://www.collegeview.com/college/niche/canadian/postEdu.html)
Royal Military college of Canada http://www.rmc.ca/admission/apply_now/index_e.html
List of all Canadian Colleges and Universities
http://www.uleth.ca/emf/chris/udirect.htm
Something for United States people looking towards school in Canada
Comparing Canadian and US School Systems
The most significant difference between American and Canadian schools is their ownership. Virtually all Canadian universities are public institutions; there exist a large number of private schools in the US. Almost all American schools that are religiously affiliated are also private.
In terms of the application process, Canadian universities are generally thought to place a greater emphasis on your academic record - they don't request personal statements and they don't hold interviews, so your grades are the primary factor upon which they base their decisions. Scholarships are also typically awarded on the basis of academic success, and there are far fewer opportunities for financial aid in Canada. Athletes are not awarded the same status in Canada, either, and athletic scholarships do not exist at most Canadian institutions. Applications for schools in Canada are usually due much later than American applications, and admissions decisions are delivered much later consequently.
There is also a major difference in the general mythology surrounding American and Canadian schools. It's true, though, that our pictures of these two cultures are formed largely through stereotypes which are not accurate reflections of many, if any, schools. Try not to base your vision of US college life on all the movies you've watched as a teenager. We'll go over this later, but this part of the reason why it is so important for you to try and visit the schools in which you are interested. For example, when we think of the typical social life at American schools, one of the first things that comes to mind is the fraternity and sorority scene - something which is largely absent from Canadian college and university life.
(from http://www.campusaccess.com/campus_web/educ/e4high_ussyst.htm)
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Fern's two cents.
Don't be afraid of applying to universities and colleges in Canada. Visit the websites of whatever colleges or universities you are interested in and find out when they might be visiting your school or find out if they offer a mailing list and they can send you information brochures and booklets about the school. Remember one thing - universities and colleges want YOU. Make your decision on which university or college to attend FIRST on whether it will offer you the best education possible and the greatest experience. THEN think about money or friends who are also going to that school. Never short change yourself out of a possibly excellent education and experience.
Make sure you read their booklets!
Also, there is nothing wrong with staying at home to go to school if there is a university or college in your city or town. Living on residence is an excellent experience but never assume that that is your only option. Though I'm sure it would be a really great time to be on your own.
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I work there 3 days a week, and I get free meals, so I eat there rather than spend money somewhere else. I get tired of eating only salad, but when I do, I bring my own fat-free dressing from home. Sometimes, I add ham to my salad. On days when I work a long day, I get a lunch, so I get a personal size pizza with light cheese and vegatables only or ham or chicken and veggies. Is this ok to eat 3x's a week, or should I start bringing my own food from home? If so, what should I bring? There is a microwave there, but no place for me to eat but the main dining room, and I feel funny eating food that isn't from there in front of the customers. They also have sandwiches (chicken, ham or turkey with cheese and ranch dressing on them) So when I get one of those, I get light cheese and no dressing, and put my own fat-free dressing on them. The bread is like a french roll. I want to lose 30 lbs. Any advice? (Indeed)
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There is nothing wrong with eating things in moderation. So, if you are planning on having pizza for your meal, just try to balance having pizza with drinking water, since you should always drink water.
The biggest problem in eating habits is constant snacking - so don't snack on food from work. Bring some carrots sticks or another fruit or veggie that you like to eat on its own. Don't snack on the greasy foods at your work.
Try not to have the personal pizzas more then once a week, in fact, make sure you don't.
Is it possible for you to jog to work or even walk? Or maybe walk somewhere else that will involve exercise. Exercise is always good.
Your sandwiches sound healthy enough, just as long as you eat those in moderation as well. Make sure you drink plenty of water, eat fruits andvegetables (in moderation too) and make an effort to exercise in some way - even if its only a bit. Some is better then none.
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I need advice and your opinion.
Hi, I have a bit of a confusing situation, but maybe it's just in my head and so could you help me out? I'm 22 and see, I've been a friend with this guy for the last three years. I met him my freshman year at college and we went on a double date with his roommate and his girlfriend. After that, we saw each other around campus but not much else. He would im me every once in a while though to talk. I noticed last January he had left school and he emailed me that following February or so telling me that he was in Iraq. I freaked of course, worried about him instantly. Since then during the summer we emailed each other off and on and messaged each other but he was the one to initiate most of the conversations while I emailed him most of the time and he was good about replying every time. Then in September he brought up the idea that he was coming home for 15 days of R and R and mentioned he was coming here to get transcipts to transfer colleges when he got back and would i want to get lunch with him? I said yes of course and he came, we had lunch and he cracked me up the entire time. He then went to get his transcipts and I went in with him, and sat for half an hour but after that time he said I didn't have to stay but I said I wanted to hang out with him and didn't mind. While all of this, he was opening doors for me and the gentlemanly things and said thanks for staying with him. We talked for about five minutes before he left and then I gave him a hug, he hugged me back of course and said he would email me. When he got back to Iraq he did email me to tell me he was safe and then we kept emailing each other off and on until Thanksgiving. Well after thanksgiving he couldn't get emails so he mentioned I could write him if I wanted. So I've been writing him since December and we write each other about every other week or so. He started out signing his letters As Always, or something like that but then switched it to love. And he says how great it is to hear from me and writes alot to me. He keeps me updated on when he thinks he is going to come home and mentions getting together this summer once he gets out of Iraq. The last letter I got from him, he told me an official date since all the changes and said he wasn't going to tell his parents though since the dates have changed alot and he just didn't want everyone knowing he was going to be home and how he wanted to be by himself for a while in peace and quiet. I've always considered us more of acquiantances before we started writing and was wondering if you thought he might be interested in me as more than friends? or does it just sound that he now considers me to be a friend, the thing is that I have never had a guy sign love to a letter who wasn't romantically interested in me and I really do care about him and have come to like him as more than a friend, am I just reading hidden signals because he didn't have to invite me to lunch or keep in contact?. Thanks :).
-Mixed but likes
(Indeed)
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I'd have to say that the way things seem, it seems like he is interested in you. However, we of course can't be certain about that.
I would say that right now, as much as you'd like to know how he feels about you, you should keep writing just like always and keep your relationship together and see what happens when he comes home in the summer.
Keep doing things how you are now and you might not want to make any advances on him in your letters because he might not be able to handle anything more right now and getting into a deeper relationship with such distance will be tough for him. So I'd say definitely see how things are in the summer, you may even find someone you care about here while he is gone so you just never know and you don't need to be tied down to someone across the world.
Hopefully everything works out how you'd like it to. :)
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My friend told me that a guy at my school lift up girls shirts and feels their stuff! What should i do? (Indeed)
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If he tries anything kick him in the crotch and tell your principal immediately. If he never tries to do anything to you or your friends then it probably is just a rumour and you shouldnt get him in trouble if it is not true.
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I have two questions, and they are very important to me.
1. How can I remove the hair along my bikini line? I've tried shaving, but everytime I shave there, I get a whole bunch of little itchy painful red dots EVERYWHERE! I don't really want to involve my mother in this, so maybe you could just tell me a way I could shave without getting them? Because I'd really like to be able to wear a bikini bottom this year and not boy shorts.
2. Today is Sunday, and I was expecting my period on Thursday. It has not come yet. Usually it is totally predictable, but it might be screwed up still because last month it was about a week late. I'm not sexually active or anything, so it's not something that's wrong like that, but do you think I should be worried?
(Indeed)
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1. The dermatologist answer to this question is this:
Razor burn is caused by hair that is pushed back into the follicle, which becomes inflamed and then develops into an ingrown hair. Attack the problem before it starts. Use a shaving gel (try Skintimate Moisturizing Shave Gel) instead of cream to avoid clogging pores, and always shave in the direction of hair growth, using a clean and sharp razor every time. Also, try to avoid wearing tight jeans or underwear, which can rub against the skin.
The more you shave the more you increase your chances of razor burn, so try to cut down on the amount of times you shave your pubic area. When razor burn does occur, apply an aloe-vera-based cortisone cream twice a day to soothe the area and get rid of the redness. Try DDF Aloe Cort Cream.
So I guess the answer is lots of moisterizer shaving cream, shaving in the direction of the hair growth (which I didnt know), not wearing tight constricting clothing that will rub the area, and only shaving when you need to, lets say for pool party the next day.
Down with boy cut bathing suits, up with bikinis!
2. Sometimes the truth is, its just late. And as predictable as it might be all the time, one and a while its going to be stupid and annoying and unpredictable. On another question similar to this, Spacefem answered this question by saying that if you just want your period to come and be over with - wear nice new cute underwear that you wouldnt want ruined, dont think about it, tell someone how worried you are etc etc. Try not to think about it. If you dont get it for a while you should then you should go see your doctor, or tell your mother and see what she has to say. If you've lost/gained a bit of weight recently that also affects it.
Try not to be worried and if the problem continues then maybe make a call to your doctor and see what they have to say.
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my daughter is involved with a man that is 18 yrs older than her. i dont have a problem with that as i have known him quite awhile, she is old enough to make that decision. my question is what do i do to hide the fact that i too have feelings for him? i would not hurt my daughter but im not sure i can suppress my feelings much longer. i know it is purely lust feelings i have for him, and i know he does not feel the same way what should i do? (Indeed)
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If you've admitted that its primarily lust you have for him - just try and control things.
You really can't act on this in any way at all because you'll only end up hurting one person - your daughter. If she cares about this guy a lot then you shouldnt test the feelings they have for eachother by putting yourself between them.
And what would happen if you made an advance on him and he resisted and then told your daughter? She may never forgive you.
Let this go. It'll pass and then you can one day look back and laugh at how crazy you are :)
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My bfs the best and we have sooooo much in comon and i wanna be with him forever but is it tru tht oppisites attract if so thn y did we find each other i belive in everything happening for a reason and tru love evenmore but if this is tru
i want show that itz a wrong saying because we are together 4 ever am i wrong to make people think this but itz my opinion am i wrong (Indeed)
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Opposites attract. Sames attract. Zebras attract.
Its all up to personal choice. If YOU think that its meant to be, well then you are the only one who can change or keep that decision.
Theres tonnes and tonnes of people out there who are with people that are very similar to them and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
As long as your happy!
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My friend is looking for a way to strengthen his legs, arms, and his abdominals. why he asked me, i don't know. because i don't know ANYTHING about these kind of things! So what types of excersizes and such should he do to tune up his somewhat... frail body? (Indeed)
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There is so much you can do without any equipment and right at home in just a few minutes each day.
For the abdominals - crunches (most definitely)
Heres how to do a crunch:
Lie down on the floor on your back and bend your knees, placing your hands behind your head or across your chest.
Pull your belly button towards your spine, and flatten your lower back against the floor.
Slowly contract your abdominals, bringing your shoulder blades about one or two inches off the floor.
Exhale as you come up and keep your neck straight, chin up.
Hold at the top of the movement for a few seconds, breathing continuously.
Slowly lower back down, but don't relax all the way.
Repeat for 15 to 20 repetitions with perfect form for each rep.
To add variation, bring your knees in at the same time you lift your upper body off the floor (full body crunch)
To make it more difficult, balance on an exercise ball.
Tips:
1. To keep your neck in proper alignment, place your fist under your chin to keep your head from moving.
2. Keep your back flat against the floor throughout the entire movement.
3. If your back arches, prop your feet on a step or platform to make it easier.
For legs - refer to this site for a multitude of great ideas:
http://exercise.about.com/cs/butthipsthighs/l/aa040201b.htm
For arms - check out this page for some interesting arm exercises:
http://www.toneteen.com/index.htm?http://www.toneteen.com/home_arms.htm~mainFrame
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i am not too fat but i want to slim down alittle bit.please how can i do dat (Indeed)
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The only safe way to lose weight is to cut down your food intake (******NOT STOP EATING OR REDUCE YOUR FOOD INTAKE DRASTICALLY. Just a bit of a reduction on how much you eat or less of the bad things. For example: If you are offered desert after your dinner, decide not to have desert. Its not really necessary. Or, when you feel like you've had enough to eat, dont eat more or gorge yourself with food. Its unnecessary.)
Also, get your hands on a copy of the proper daily intake of fruits, vegetables, meats, breads and dairy. Reduce how much chocolate and other junk that you might otherwise consume.
Whatever you do - dont stop eating.
Exercise is also the other best way to lose weight and everyone should exercise. Even if its only a bit. Simple things like walking a dog or just taking a casual walk is a great idea. Not only is the physical activity great for your health but so is fresh air for your lungs. A nice walk also helps to clear a stressed mind. It feels great.
If you go for a casual walk once and a while and cut down on the crappy foods like candy and pop and fast food and eat fruit and vegetables and other healthy foods instead - there should be no problem losing a few pounds. And you'll feel great too.
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I have been told that I am a very gifted actress, and my drama teacher said that I should get into theatre camp, but I live with my dad, and money is tight. I really want to go to theatre camp, but all the places I looked at are day camps that cost way too much money. (my dad has a tough job and cant drive me to and from camp so it would have to be an overnight camp) any ideas what I should do?
HELP ME!!! (Indeed)
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If your acting talent is really advanced there are a lot of charitable corporations that might sponsor you. Ask your guidance counsellor at school or even your drama teacher for help finding one.
Also, contact the camp and explain to them about your financial situation and they will certainly try to work something out.
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My best friend just became really close to this girl named Briana. Briana's really fun to talk to, but I recently found out some bad stuff about her; she cheats on her boyfriends, backstabs all her close friends, and she smokes pot. She told me about the pot thing and even asked if I wanted to join her! I, of course, said no. I don't know how to tell my best friend, because she'll accuse me of lying because "Briana's so nice!" I'm just scared that Briana will get my friend into smoking and stuff. HELP. (Indeed)
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Your friend will have to make her own decisions and just because you are her best friend doesnt mean you owe it to her to nurse her around and tell her who is a good friend and what not. Seriously, shes going to have to learn who she wants to be hanging around with on her own.
If your friend is easily influenced enough to agree to smoking pot with this girl, well then shes not very intelligent is she. You can tell her, but it probably wont do any good.
She'll discover this on her own and only then will she realize and make the decision of whether she wants to be friends with this girl or not.
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All of my friends are really worried about me because I cut myself. My parents don't know I still cut, but they know that I used to. I'm addicted to hurting myself and I don't want to stop. Everyone wants to change me but I refuse to. How do I get everyone to stop trying to get me to change? (Indeed)
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The reason they are trying to get you to change is because they care about you. The only way to make them stop is for them to no longer care about you and I am pretty sure they wont stop caring until you are dead. Which could very well happen if you keep cutting. You dont necessarily have to change who you are to stop, but let these people love you and show you that you dont need this. You dont have to do this sort of thing. Allow them to care about you.
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