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Worried
My best friend just became really close to this girl named Briana. Briana's really fun to talk to, but I recently found out some bad stuff about her; she cheats on her boyfriends, backstabs all her close friends, and she smokes pot. She told me about the pot thing and even asked if I wanted to join her! I, of course, said no. I don't know how to tell my best friend, because she'll accuse me of lying because "Briana's so nice!" I'm just scared that Briana will get my friend into smoking and stuff. HELP.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If your best friend is your true best friend she will not get mad and forsake you. She will trust you and believe you if she was real and not a phony. I am not saying she isn't real or that she is a phony, but if she won't believe you and she JUST became close to Briana, then there was something wrong before.
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well tell yur friend about it if she does not beileve u take a taperecorder and tell the girl yur bff is hanging out w/ tell her u said u changed yur mind but u wanted to hear what it was that she wanted u to do (ur somthin)
i hope things work out
falen angel
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You need to tell your friend about this still yet . If she is your best friend, she would understand your concern, and if she doesn't believe you tell, her to confront Briana and ask her about the boyfriend stealing, back stabbing, pot smoking . If you are really concerned then maybe you should consult an adult if she doesn't beleive you . Ask and discuss pot . You could be doing your friend a favor .
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Your friend will have to make her own decisions and just because you are her best friend doesnt mean you owe it to her to nurse her around and tell her who is a good friend and what not. Seriously, shes going to have to learn who she wants to be hanging around with on her own.
If your friend is easily influenced enough to agree to smoking pot with this girl, well then shes not very intelligent is she. You can tell her, but it probably wont do any good.
She'll discover this on her own and only then will she realize and make the decision of whether she wants to be friends with this girl or not.
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Dear Worried,
One night pull your bff aside and go spy on "Briana". Then she'll belive you.
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It's possible your friend already knows these things about Briana and simply hasn't mentioned them to you because she is afraid of how you will react. To find out if this is the case, you may want to mention to your friend that Briana asked you to smoke pot. Say something like, "I have something really weird to tell you. Briana asked me to smoke with her the other day. Did you know she smokes pot?" At this point, your friend will either 1) say she already knows this, 2) say she didn't know that and ask you what else you know, or 3) accuse you of lying.
If she says she already knows that, then you have a chance to discuss with her how worried you are about what Briana might get your friend into. Tell her you agree that Briana seems like a nice and fun person, but as your friend's best bud, you can't help but be a little concerned.
If your friend says she didn't know that and pumps you for more info, share what you have heard. Make sure you emphasize that yes, Briana does seem nice, but you do think your friend should be careful around her.
If your best friend is really as close to you as you say, she will NOT accuse you of lying. She's obviously been friends with you longer than she has with Briana, and she has no good reason to say such a thing. BUT if she does, tell her you're sorry she feels that way and assure her that you would never lie. Ask her, "Have I ever lied to you before?" Remind yourself that a good friend will keep your advice in mind rather than making ridiculous accusations.
Above all, remember that the truth will come out in time; it always does. Just hang in there and keep a close eye on your friend. If she starts doing things that make you nervous, talk to her about them and tell her that you, as her best friend, are worried about her. Otherwise, just let it be and keep on hanging out with her (without Briana tagging along) as much as you can. If Briana has a history of backstabbing people, she may well stick a knife in your friend's back, and you will need to be there for her in that event.
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I don't think you should say anything about how Briana cheats on her boyfriends or backstabs her friends, because for all you know, that could just be mean gossip. The pot smoking is different, because you heard about that from Briana herself.
One thing that you could do is to tell your friend that you're kind of worried about Briana. Explain about the pot smoking, say that you're concerned that Briana is getting involved in something so stupid and self-destructive, and ask your friend for advice. That way, your friend gets a heads-up about what Briana's into, but you don't look like you're trying to undermine Briana's reputation. And maybe between the two of you, you can come up with a way to steer Briana away from the stuff -- it might be really good for her to have friends who realize how dumb it is.
But why do you assume that your friend would automatically accuse you of lying if you told her? Is there something else going on here? Are you, possibly, worried that you two aren't as close as you used to be, and that Briana has something to do with that? If so, that's a completely separate issue, and maybe you should work on your relationship with your friend before you bring Briana's actions into it.
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Unless you can somehow catch Briana in the act of cheating or smoking, your friend will not believe you. All you can do is stand by your friend. That way, when Briana backstabs her, you will still be there for her. And also remember, the backstabbing may not be true. You can't always believe everything you hear.
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Find other things for your best friend too do. keep her busy with you. And eventualy Briana will be a thing of the past..goodluck...
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Well, you are in a pretty hard place between these two people. You should still try to tell your friend she diserves to know the truth even though it might hurt. If that still doesn't work try to get your friend to catch briana in the act. If nothing seems to sork try just backing up your friend and giving her self-esteem. The number one reason that people start smoking is because they are not confident in themselves and peer pressure can easily take them over. I hope that everything works out! Bye.
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Well first remember you cannot control people so I suggest when expressing your feelings to your friend about this matter remain calm and don't attack with why she is wrong and you are right, and just remind her you are just a worried friend who happens to care. Plus most of what you hear might be gossip and just because more than one person says she is a back stabber doesn't mean she is. In high school it got around that I slept with every female I met, everyone said hat and I only slept with my girlfriend. And just because she smokes pot doesn't make her a bad person, and I know that from major experience. So just tell your friend you worried and care for her well being.
Cspinoza1
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You cant keep Brianas secret froever. It is illegal to smoke pot, also if you are underaged it is illegal! You need to tell a parent (depending on Briannas age) and you WILL NOT get in trouble for telling someone. As for your best friend, you can try to tell her but if she doesnt believe you, maybe she needs time to figure this out.
PS
You dont want to talk and or hang out with a teen/child that smokes pot, or someone could get caught and say you smoked with them!
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