ask FernGully
the angry canadian



Ferns General Advice Do or do not, there is no try. If you have to try, then it just isn't you.
If you aren't sure if you should have sex with him, then you are not ready to have sex with him.
"But I still love him!" Well he does not love you. If he loved you, he would not hurt you.
Let's get one thing straight. STUPIDITY IS NOT COOL. So hey, why not aim for more?

There's your answer fishbulb.



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Down, please.

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I'm a 21 year old useful person. I am generally not in the advice game except for some rare occasions. I am mostly here to help keep advicenators running smoothly (though they don't really need me).

As a side note, everybody sucks but me.
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Im not so perfect at spelling, and puncuation! WOW! Who cares. .atleast im nto an ass and making people feel bad for asking a damn question!
Loser. . . And I am going to be what ever the fuck I want! So shut up and you might wnat to stop giving advice, cuz u suck at it. Im being serious! Punk is a lifestyle, and music. . Punk is being yourself and not trying to be noticed. . . You arnt born punk, so obvoiously people ahd to say I want to eb a punk. . and they became punk .. ok u cnat be born punk its not like punk is like japaneese or mexicna or english u know wut im trying to say!? Well I mean I dont know everything about punk, but I know its not just clothes. . So have fun and bye (Indeed)

This is isnt a question. And this is under work... how strange. Anywho.

No one cares what the definition of punk is because no one should be able to tell another person how to dress or what music to listen to. Thats stupid. OooOOhhh I'm a punk and a bad ass? Not so much. Those who may be dressed in the 'punk' fashion (as if it matters) may not necessarily be a little bad ass rebel.

Because seriously, who the fuck gives a rats ass.

Heres a novell idea - be yourself and stop trying to be something. If you have to try, then it just isn't you.




I am a fast runner you see and I got asked to run this thing called the turkeytrot, but Iave to run in front of the whole school. I am araid of getting lastplace should I still run? (Indeed)

Definitely.
Get out there and run as best as you can. All the people watching can't say a thing to you since you are running and they are not. At least you are trying.




ok last night i went to the movies with my friends peter and jules we saw the return of the king well all threw the movie i would talk to peter and stuf but forget a bout jules (i was siting in the middle of them) but i like this kid sean and then my sister is haveing her bday party today and her friend brian came over hes my age (14) and he had his girl friend with yhim and i was jelouse can any one tell me what this means
boy crazy (Indeed)

Run around in a circle until you can no longer stand because of extreme dizziness. When you get up you will no longer have feelings for anything. You even be able to smell.

Just kidding.

You are young, and at this age you are going to think every boy that is interested in you is 'the one'. They aren't. What you need to do is make yourself hard to get and only the boys who really do like you will pursue you more.

Do not give in to their boyish good looks, they will quickly fade into adolesence.




Ok, I still really like my ex boyfriend. But, he has a new gilfriend, that he supposedly really likes. *Rolls eyes* But, my friends and I have caught him SO many times staring at me while I walk in the halls at school. And I wrote my friend this hilarious note, and he read it and laughed. Like, a lot. But, he doesn't make any effort to talk to me or anything. My friends think he still has feelings for me, but he's with this other girl and he's afraid to pursue anything with me. My friends also think I should try making him jealous and "flaunt it". Any ideas on how to do that?

-Thanks. (Indeed)

You need to learn to let go. Even if he still stares at you and what not, its over and if he has a girlfriend then he has no business with you other than perhaps being friends. Maybe thats what he is looking for? Either way, don't pursue him at all, if he is interested in you again then he will end thing with his girlfriend. If he stays with her then there is nothing left between the two of you.





My daughter is currently 13 years old. She's fairly mature and doesn't dress slutty. Now, she has liked this guy for about half a year. Today, he asked her out. They want to go see a movie with another couple their age on monday. I don't know if I should let her go. What is your stance on this? Is 13 too young to be dating? (Indeed)

I definitely think you should let her go. You've acknowledged that she is mature, and if you truly believe that you've taught her all that you can about right and wrong, then there is not much more you can do. You can take advantage of this opportunity now because she is still young, make this the opportunity to open up a good line of communication with your daughter. After her date, see if she wants to talk to you about it, and make her feel comfortable in telling you anything she needs to. That way, when she gets older you will know what is going on in her life to an extent, and are able to still talk to her. If she feels she can't talk to you at this age, then later in life it will even more difficult for her.

As well, if you tell her she isn't allowed to go she may feel trappedand be angry with you for not allowing her to go. Perhaps you could tell her that it is completely her decision on whether or not to go, if she feels mature enough, then you'll be behind her all the way (theoretically speaking of course).




Once upon a time... I thought I had a really great friend. She and I really spent lots of time together after we graduated from university, we majored in the same programs. One night we went together to a bar, not to pick up guys but just to have a girls night out. During our girls night out she left me at the bar to dance with a guy she met (yes so much for girls night out). I had a drink with me but kept looking at the dance floor over my shoulder to make sure my friend was doing okay since the guy she was dancing with had had quite a bit to drink. I suppose that while I frequently turned to look over my shoulder a man that had been next to me (whose face I cannot remember or recall)had slipped the Date Rape drug into my drink. Now do not get me wrong I'm not a dumb woman, I would never get up and leave my drink and then come back to it, but it must have happened so quickly, just as I glanced behind me. I woke up the next day alone on the couch of a house I had never been to before. I was loosely dressed and can remember only having been at the bar and then waking up. I remember nothing of what had happened that night. I immediately ran out of the house and asked someone what street I was on. When I found that I was only a 20 minute walk from my apartment I snuck quietly back inside the house and tried to find my purse and cell phone. I managed to find my purse but all my money, credit card (luckily maxed right out) and cell phone were gone. I left without them because I was very frightened being where I was. I went home. I went to the hospital later after having discovered differences in myself. I feared the worst and I was correct. I was given a rape test and they found traces of the drug in my body.

I had been raped and knew nothing and remembered nothing. It was almost better that way. The only problem was that I could not remember the man who had been sitting next to me at the bar. I called my friend hoping she could help to identify the man. She immediately told me that she didn't value our friendship anymore because I had deliberately left her at the bar, and as she claims 'and being an embarassment since I was acting so slutty'. I told her about not remembering anything and she called me a liar. I told her that her opinion of me didn't matter, all I needed was to know the name or a description of the man I left with and then I would leave her alone forever if I had to. SHe told me she would have no part in my lies, claiming that she didn't want to be responsible for an innocent man being prosecuted just because "I wanted the attention".

I guarantee you, with the hospital results to support me, that I was in fact raped without remembering.

She continued to spread the rumour that I was a liar and when I had the police contact her she claimed to have never been there with me at all.

All that I wanted was for this man to be brought to justice and that he be unable to destroy someone else's life the way he destroyed mine.

I was never able to positively identify the man and my case remains considered unsolved. Those others in the club told the police that they saw nothing, I'm not really sure if they did or not and the only other person I knew in the bar was my friend.

This incident happened 3 years ago and since I have been able to recover and return to a somewhat normalcy. However, recently (within the past few months) this girl has been leaving messages at my house and work for me to call her. Finally I called hoping she had wished to tell me something she knew or reconcile things between us.

Our conversation over the phone consisted of her telling me that she knew the name and address of the man who raped me, but she still refused to tell me. Saying that she wants me to pay her money or else she will tell me nothing. I'm almost ready to pay her, I want to punish this man so badly. The poeple I have consulted about this told me that she could be prosecuted if I were to tell the police. But I know that if I have her charged or arrested that I will lose all hope of knowing this mans identity, she would never tell me anything if I am responsible for damaging her record.
My question to you is what do I do now? Should I press charges and hope that she will give up the information she knows? Or perhaps should I pay her what she wants and finally get closure? (Indeed)

Perhaps threaten to press charges for blackmail. OR tell the police and have them set up a 'sting' of sorts. Call her and tell her you will pay her whatever she wants and then meet her in a public place like a park. Give her the money she wants and then she will tell you the information you want, and then when she tries to leave she will be arrested and you will get the money back.

Your story was really heart breaking, its amazing how brave some women are.




I really don't like this teacher at my school. She is mean to everyone and nobody likes her. I really want to pull a prank on her because I'm so angry but what should i do? Should I prank her, or just live with it the rest of the year? (Indeed)

maybe this teacher is suffering a lot in her personal life or maybe, by her being mean she is just striving to give you honesty and truth and help you do your best work. Maybe she just doesn't put up with your class' crap. OR maybe you are bad kids. Or even perhaps she is just having a bad... lifetime. Either way, give this teacher a break. Instead of pulling a prank maybe you should try to understand a bit better or behave all the time and do your work. Be kind and see if maybe she can change her attitude towards you.




How do you know when you are in love? I think I might be...but then again I don't think so, because if I really loved him, I could actually talk to him and not just stare at him until he looks at me, and then (at a perfect opportunity to talk to him.) quickly look away.

>>Toungue Tied & Confused (Indeed)

Get to know him, then you'll know. You simply cannot truly love a person if you don't know them.




If your car is an ugly mustard yellow color, and you want to pick an interior, which two colors would you pick for your interior? (Indeed)

The car is mustard yellow? Hmm... you could probably still make that cool by picking up a crazy strong blue upholstery and bright orange dash/panelling.


OORRRR NOT.

Paint your car instead.

Or go for black, leather or not, it will go well with that yellow.




I don't know what it is but as soon as i get in the car with my brother, I'm ready for him to crash. He has this thing where he takes his hands of the wheel to get something or he starts looking at his cd and the car will start to slowly head for the shoulder or whatever else is at the side of the road, including other cars... he also drives fast but even other fast drives I'm fine with (i don't eve mnd taking a turn fast, unless I'm with him), just him. something about him makes me brace myself no matter what, even if he's got both hands on the wheel looking out to an empty road going the speed limit, i feel like were going to crash, and only with him... could this be like postdramatic stress thing since last year at about this time we got into a pretty nasty accident due to ice on a bridge, Is there anything i can do to relax! anything!!! i really need it, i only try and grab the wheel from him all the time when he takes his hands off it... Its horrable! HELP! (Indeed)

if possible - avoid driving with him I guess. He doesnt sound all that bad, a typical brother idiot driver, a little fast and a little reckless. My brothers reckless driver was also temporary - he got his own car. And now hes scared something might happen to it so he has cut out the rough driving. Anywho, enough with my anecdotes. You need help. I wouldn't advise telling your parents - talk to your brother first. Tell him you feel he or you or others could get hurt if he isnt keeping his hands on the wheel and driving too fast.

Heres a thought - criticize him and tell him you are grossly unimpressed with his driving. He will probably try his best because you've hurt his pride.

Or not. I dont know maybe you'll just have to cut out driving with him. Or complain about it a lot, that might also work.




my friends are telling me I shouldn't even try to be friends with my ex boyfriend because that never works, but I think it can sometimes. what do you think? (Indeed)

Being friends can work, but it also depends on your age and how long you were together. If you are 13 and went out for a month then you should find it very easy to eventually become a comfortable friend with this guy.

However, if you were in a more long term relationship it could turn out to much more difficult for both of you. You should talk to the guy, see if he himself is up for being friends. More then likely he will give you an honest answer and if he says no, then give him space and time and eventually, things should be fine.

I think its all about time.




my sister and I went to the swimming pool and when we got back she was like 'I WAN In tHE SHOWER FIRST!!!" so I let her take a shower first, and while she was in there I didn't know what to do then I remembered I hadn't played the piano for a while. so I sat down and played the piano. but I was still wet and had my swimsuit on. so I get up and on the piano bench, which is wood, there's this raised warped part where it's kinda lighter color and it's EXACTLY the shape of my BUTT and you can see where my thighs were and everything! I tried to dry it but it won't go away. I'm really freaking out because my mom will be home in a few hours and I don't know what to do! (Indeed)

Your screwed.




I own all this awesome modern purple furniture, but my realitor just showed me a house decorated in traditional hunter green. Think I'll be able to make it work, or should I not even think about it? I can't afford to have carpets and wallpaper replaced, but I really like this house. (Indeed)

It is your house right?
Since its where you are every day it should be comfortable for you and that could mean not necessarily being fashion forward.

If you love that house but cant part with the purple furniture then you should just combine them both and never feel the loss of having to part with one or the other. However, if the colour clashing bothers you that much you should look for a ghastly coloured purple/pink themed house or stick with the hunter green house and get some cheap/sale taupe or beige furniture which would accent the green nicely.




I am thinking of going to france, but I don't know french. I've heard french people are really mean about stuff like that. If my french isn't that good, will they be really mean to me? (Indeed)

If they are rude, throw a croissant at them.
And then croak. Lots.




I'm very confused. I have major crushes with 3 guys. One I've known since second grade. two of the mentioned males are in eighth grade, the other in sixth. I'm in seventh. What do I do? (Indeed)

Put chickens in each of their coats.
Whoever screams the loudest wins.




If you're too shy to ask someone out in person is it creepy to write them a note? (Indeed)

If the person is well worth it then you should be able to muster up the courage to ask them yourself, besides - letters are so impersonal.




I was asked to bring a "nice traditional pie" to a family dinner. A few months ago I brought key lime, and people didn't think it was "traditional" enough. What gives? I mean, seriously?

So what's a traditional pie? Should I even bother conforming, or just bring whatever I want? (Indeed)

Stick it to them all and bring the craziest and most outrageous pie you can think of... like strawberry rhubarb.




I drive a 2000 ford focus. It has a bike rack on the top, and it's brown. It's a two door hatchback with an automatic transmission. I don't think it's lame but my friends think I'm a wus for getting an automatic. What do you think? (Indeed)

Your car is lame.

And its got a bike rack.

What the hell were you thinking buying a brown car anyways?




What should i sell? (Indeed)

Toe Socks

I love toe socks.




I am debating putting in a new exhaust into my car. I picked up a moderate 50$ exhaust from a local garage. They said they were giving me a decent deal on it. I'm hoping that this new exhaust will give me a lot more power and speed. If it doesnt, what can I try to make my car faster?

I own an '89 GMC S-10. Help. (Indeed)

First of all, a 50$ exhaust system will do nothing except make your truck sound like an angry bee caught in a jar. It will not improve your speed or horsepower, it is merely an attachment.

If you are really interested in improving your speed and performance then invest the money in an exhaust brand like FlowmasterŽ. Flowmasters are designed to give you the most power and highest performance, though, they are in fact an investment as they can cost you a general minimum of 200$.

If you're going to be racing, remember one thing - Wear your seatbelt, speed kills.




Holy Matrimony Batman - I need to go back up!
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