I work as a Customer Laison Complaints Case Officer at a major insurance company, where I have worked for 3 years. I left school when I was 17, as I had some very bad experiences at school and wanted to see what the real world had to offer.
I now live with my boyfriend of 3 years and spend my spare time reading, writing, socialising with friends or just watching some TV.
Times are still hard and I'm trying to cope with various health problems on a daily basis but I'm working my way through things and really want to stop it from getting me down.
I dream of some day going to America and watching a real baseball game (we don't have that at all in the UK) and perhaps finding a job I find creatively fulfilling. Until then, I'm happy trying to be me and making the best of what I have.
Website: My Space
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset, UK
Occupation: Customer Liaison Case Officer
Age: 21
MSN: hottchickie@hotmail.com
Member Since: January 28, 2006
Answers: 1016
Last Update: March 5, 2009
Visitors: 65036
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Is it wrong that I never tell my "best friends" anything anymore?
Whenever I do tell them something, they end up telling their other really good friend who tells someone else, who then tells other people and the next thing I know, I'm walking into Best Buy and the guy at the register asks me about what I did with who at what party a few weekends ago. True story..that really did happen. Kinda funny but I was pissed as a mofo.
Now that I don't talk to them about anything serious, they get all mad. But why should I tell them things when the rest of the world is just going to find out about it?
I don't want to loose them as friends because they're still fun and everything so I just figured okay, I'll still hang out with them but not tell them anything that I would rather keep between us. But, turns out that they don't like that.
What should I do? Just ditch them?
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In short, no, I don't think it is wrong at all.
The problem really is one they should be able to understand. You tell them secrets, the very definition of which is something that should be kept between you and they seem to have a distinct lack of control when it comes to keeping those secrets. Therefore, why should you keep telling them? At least you know you can keep your own secrets.
Try explaining to them that it is your decision whether you tell anyone your secrets and they can't start getting upset with you after they betray your trust, just because you learned they can't be trusted not to tell.
If they are still funny with you after this, you will have a few options as to what you can do. You can choose to trust them, but always know there is a risk in telling them anything confidential; you could tell them you will tell them if anything worth mentioning comes up and then ensure you say nothing private to them of any real value after that; you could give them one last chance to prove they can be trusted, before telling them something completely fictional and see if it still gets round; or you could just accept that true friends don't turn each other's secrets into salacious gossip.
What you choose to do is unfortunately a decision that nobody else can make but suffice to say that in my opinion, these girls don't really know how to be good friends.
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14/f. So my best guy friend is Tyler. We always talk on the phone, and are always talking to each other, and are always with each other. Of coarse, people started rumors that we were either going out or that he liked me/I liked him. They didn't really bug me that much because I knew it wasn't true and just shook it off and continued to talk to him. But when two of my friends asked him if he liked me and had a whole conversation with him about me, he stopped talking to me. He said he needed to think things through and asked me if it was ok if he continued ignoring me for the next two days. I said it was ok, but it was obviously not. I knew the only reason he was not talking to me was because he didn't want people thinking that he liked me. So on the second day of not talking to him, I lost my temper and yelled at him for not being able to shake off these rumors and that if he was really my friend he wouldn't let them bother him and he would still talk to me. Now I feel bad and I try calling him but he won't answer...I have no idea how to act tomorrow or what to say. Please help.
I RATE HIGH
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Unfortunately, the only thing you can do right now is to leave him alone to cool off for a few days.
Right about now, he will be taking a proper interest in girls for the first time and the chances are he is worried having a close friend who is a girl might damage his potential to get a girlfriend because of all the gossip going round.
However, you have every right to be upset with his request for you to accept him ignoring you for a few days. A real friend should really be there for you despite the rumours, which are about you as much as they are about him. Really, you should have told him this when he made his somewhat unreasonable request in the first place. If you weren't happy with such an arrangement, you should be able to tell him this.
That being said, you agreed to it so you can't blame him for being upset with you for being angry with him over something you had agreed to. You had given him the go ahead and as far as he was concerned, that was all he needed to know.
Leave him be for now and wait for him to come to you, which he will do when he is ready. When that happens, try to explain to him that if he really is your friend then he can't get so worked up over stupid rumours. There really is nothing you can do to stop them if you want to stay friends because as far as your classmates are concerned, you can't be friends with each other and not have feelings beyond that. After this, he needs to make a decision. Either he can be the same best friend you have had for a long time now and be thick skinned enough to hold his head above the rumours or he can put a stop to the rumours by ceasing all contact with you. It all boils down to can he handle it or can't he? If eh can't handle it then you will have to let him go because he won't be much of a friend to you otherwise.
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My name is Januari. I am thirteen, female, and I have an issue. Now I know all about the bads of drugs and what not but can we forget about them for a second. My best guy friend Derek got high for the first time last Friday. This usually wouldn’t be a big deal because me and most of my friends smoke pot but Derek said he wanted to for the first time with me there. Though this was not the case he did meet up with me that night while riding his bike and this is what happened: He comes up to me while I'm with a group of people and I know right away he's high, they don't. I ask him if he did it with so and so etc. he answers all of my questions with a giggle, a shrug, and a direct answer. He was acting a little different but not too much until he decided to get off his bike and lay on the grass. As a joke my friend Ashley goes I bet Januari wants to lie down next to Derek which is a reasonable comment considering I've had a huge crush on Derek since the beginning of time. But regardless he answers "I wouldn't mind that." with a smirk. I don't lie down just giggle and then walk away. He gets back on his bike comes over to me and in a sing song voice says "my dearest Januari,” At this point his two friends who got high with him are saying lets go and he’s standing there singing to me. Then I notice he is giving me this meaningful look and I want more than anything to kiss him but I don't. Then our lips are about a foot apart and he shrugs. Then I shrug and this continues for about one min. with each shrug our lips get closer. Just when it's about to happen I say you better go. He doesn’t get angry or anything just giggles and starts leaving and I walk away. But as he leaves he starts yelling my name but I pretend not to hear him. The thing is I know from experience and story of ear that you don't get high the first time you smoke. So there is this possibility that he was faking it all. And also Ashley thinks he is repressing his feelings through the substance unlike when he’s sober because then he acts just friends with me especially in front of his friends. I can't tell if he likes me and I thought maybe you could input something. If you bothered to read all of this say anything and I will rate high. (link)
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First of all, I don't know where you got the idea you can't get stoned the first time you do weed because you can and I can tell you that without a shadow of doubt in my mind.
The problem is, you can't really trust a person's feelings when they are under the influence of drink or drugs because whatever friends and so on say it does to you, both alcohol and drugs can alter the way we perceive things.
By saying this, I'm not detracting from the notion he might like you because there's every chance he might but what I am saying is that mind altering substances can make us friendlier to people than we may normally be so I want you to be aware that it could be the effects of the drug that made him so flirtatious.
I think that really, if you want to know once and for all how he feels about you, you need to tell him you like him and ask how he feels about you. I know it's a horrifying thought. After all, what if he says he doesn't feel the same way? But trust me, if you leave this school or he leaves school without you having told him, you will regret it for a very long time. However, you need to bear in mind that if he does take these drugs, there's every possibility it might lead him to another while he is stoned. Believe me, it's not unheard of. You may like him but please consider this before you risk heartbreak over him.
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ok, i have this friend. she's a girl and i'm a guy. we're really close. we kinda flirt with each other but we do it in a friendly way. but she has a bf who thinks that i'm trying to steal her from him. we(me and my friend) keep trying to tell him that we're just friends, but he won't listen. then my friend and i went to a nightclub last night without him. well, the next day he found out that i was dancing with his gf(my friend) and he calls me up and he's like "You better F****ing stop that S**t or else i'm gonna F***ing beat the S**t out of you when i see you!" what i'm wondering is what should i do? (link)
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This is a very difficult situation because the decision on whether or not your friend hangs out with you any more ought to be hers, rather than her boyfriend's. If I may just give my personal opinion, he doesn't sound like a very nice guy at all.
The problem is, her boyfriend seems overly jealous and very possessive and this means that being so close to her as you are is a threat as far as he is concerned, probably because you are closer to her than he is. There really isn't anything you can do about this, because he is the one with the problem here, rather than you.
This being said, you might need to back off for a while. Don't do it without giving her an explanation. Tell her that you can't risk getting beaten up by this boyfriend of hers every time you hang out so for now, you think it is better if you don't see each other for a while. BUT, this is very important. Let her know that you think he is a very intimidating guy and that if he ever threatens her in any way, she is come to you. I'm not saying he would hurt her but guys with tempers like that and who are that possessive are normally not good news for the girls they date or marry so let her know you are there if she needs you.
Hopefully, when she realises that he is a bully, she will no longer see him and you can carry on being friends. It isn't nice to be the one who has to give in and stand down but ultimately, it will be much safer for you than the risk of being on the wrong end of this guy's temper. Don't worry, I'm sure she will make the right choice.
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So.. wow this is kinda embarassing..
Since I'm the one usually giving advice, and now I really need some! Please help :)
okay, well I heard that when people are stressed/depressed or stuff like that they can either start eating a lot, or eating less and getting an eating disorder.
Well today was really bad, and I just want to keep eating food, and I dont know why, I feel hungry, but I dont want to get fat. I'm upset, but ahh how do I control this? (link)
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What you're talking about sounds like comfort eating. It's not necessarily that people develop eating disorders as a result of feeling stressed or depressed. It's more that food is something they can turn to when things get a little too much. As a result, some people binge eat like this on a regular basis and it can make them overweight.
One day really won't make much of a difference, if any at all so please don't worry about it too much. If you have had a bad day, the worry about that will only make things worse.
Now, I don't know what happened today that was so awful and I don't know if you normally have someone to turn to in times like this but if you aren't doing so already, you might want to consider writing in a diary? I know it might seem a little pointless to a lot of people but the reason many people comfort eat is because they can't get their feelings out to anyone and writing a diary can help with this. Nobody else needs to read it so you have complete privacy to write whatever you like.
If you are already doing this and it isn't helping or if you are suffering from days like this on a very regular basis, you might want to consider speaking to your school and seeing if they can arrange an in school counsellor, so that you have someone who is completely impartial with whom you can discuss your problems. You don't need to worry about them telling your parents, because they aren't allowed to.
At the end of the day, you really need to speak to someone so that you can offload some of your emotions and some of what is going on in your life.
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14/f My boyfriend and I love each other but recently he went away on a feild trip and started liking another . This was about a week ago. I just found out who it was. I asked him about it and he said he dosen't like her anymore that much. He dosen't have the guts or will power to lie to me so I beleive him. How can I prevent this from happening again? (link)
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Unfortunately, the truthful answer is that you can't. He has no more control over who he does or does not feel attracted to than you do over how hurt his feelings make you.
It's actually perfectly normal to fancy other people, no matter whether you are single, co-habiting, engaged or married. It might hurt to find out that your boyfriend felt attracted to another girl but the point is really whether or not he acts on those feelings.
You say he doesn't have the willpower or guts to lie to you, which really is a good thing because at least you know you can trust him to tell you if he wanted to act on his feelings or felt more for another girl than for you.
I know it hurts to hear that he liked or likes another girl. But please remember that even married couples fancy other people a little! It's almost always just a passing phase and really nothing to worry about unless he takes it too far and cheats on you. Judging by how honest he was over this, I doubt he will.
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I am a teenage girl. I get really horny and enjoy it when I see girls boobs. I'm not sure if this is unusual or not. I also get horny when I see guys to. I would never act in messing around with a girl. But I would and I have messed around with guys and I enjoy it. Guys give me pleasure, its just I also get pleasure from looking at girls. So do you think I am a lesbians or something?
Please help!!! (link)
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I don't think it necessarily means you are a lesbian or even bi. You are at an age where you are learning about what is sexy and the fact is that women's curves can be very sexy. There's nothing wrong nudity making you feel turned on.
However, you are also at a time when sexual urges will be happening a lot because these sorts of hormones are starting to appear and because they can be very confusing, now is a good time to work out what you do and don't want in a partner, whether it be male or female. In other words, you may want to try doing something with another girl and what I want to get across is that if you want to try it to see if you like it then there is nothing wrong with acting on these sorts of urges. We live in a time when it should be okay to be homosexual.
For now, if you only want to do stuff with guys then stick to doing stuff with guys. Thinking boobs are sexy doens't make you a lesbian so don't worry too much about it and based on what you have said, I doubt you are gay. If a time comes where you want to try something with another girl then do but if you are confused right now, try to stay open to your options.
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ok here it goes -- my dad treats my mom like she's nothing! He yells, cusses..and so much more. I can't even count the amount of times he's called her worthless. And she can't do anything about it, because that's how it's always been in my culture, women have no say. Now this has caused alot of problems between me and my father, but that's not what I'm here to talk about now..now it's about my mom. Lately, I've noticed..it's been getting to her. She doesn't say anyting to him, but when he leaves...oh my. It can be like "sure, honey, I'll do whatever you please.." after he's said something rude to her. But the minute he walks out the door it'll be like "Sweetheart, tonight..sleep in my bedroom, so your father won't be able to find anywhere to sleep but the couch or somewhere else. And alot more. And I know it's stupid, but it REALLY hurts me. I cry alot about it because..he's turned my wonderful mom to..a miserable, bitter woman" She used to be such a good person, always wanting the best for everyone! And now, she just wants to harm and hurt my father. And it hurts. And I can't talk to them about it. What can I do? And for the record, my mom is a "shrink" and she keeps telling about her analyzations, like once..my dad was yelling at me and my brotehrs, and when he left she said "It's because of his childhood. His parents hated him, his siblings hated him..everyone hates him because when he was young he was always a very bad person who spoke rudely to people, and he was never loved..and blah blah blah, and that's why.." you know? And I don't want to hear that! It hurts ALOT to hear such things about my father, and to know how much my mom HATES him. And like, my mom has no friends, so I want to be there for her, no that I'm a teen, and I want to be someone she can talk to..I know she's doing it to release anger..but still it hurts. It's like the song "because of you - kelly clarkson" when I heard it, I cried all night. Because I totally understand, my mom is totally leaning on me, and she has no one else so I don't blame her, but still...have you seen the video for it? I can totally recognize! And I just don't know what to do!! PLEASE help me! ♥ thank you! (link)
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I am so sorry and at the same time appallled for you.
There are two issues here that need to addressed. Your Dad should not be treating your Mother in this way, whether it is accepted in your culture or not. Women have exactly the same rights as men and should be treated with as much respect and love. Your Mum shouldn't be used as a verbal or physical punchbag for your Father but the decision to leave has to be one your Mother makes. You can try to talk to her about this and try to convince her to leave but trodden down women tend to be very defensive of their aggressive husbands when confronted, so you should expect this.
The other issue that needs to be addressed is the way your Mother talks to you about him. It's a very common mistake for parents to offload their anger and resentment at the other onto their offspring but in the long run, it is very emotionally damaging to the child in question because it puts them in the middle of a situation that they can't really get out of. You really need to speak to your Mum about this and tell her that although she doesn't get on with your Dad and you want to be there for her, she shouldn't be speaking so unfavourabley of him to you. Do stress you want to support her and if she is this miserable with him then she ought to leave but she can't keep offloading on to you. I don't want to offend you by saying this but you're just too young to have to deal with this and it is very difficult whatever your age.
Unfortunately, while you are still very young, there isn't a lot you can do to escape the situation, so you will need to find ways to get yourself out of the house, like sleepovers, an after school club or hobby. Something productive (I stress productive because too many young people in your position turn to things like cutting and I beg you not to do this)that helps to take your mind off things. Speak to a teacher about it, as they might be able to arrange for you to see a school counsellor, so you can talk to someone neutral about your problems. If things get worse or your fear you or your Mum might be in real danger, speak to a helpline. I'm afraid I don't know where you are from so I can't recommend one specifically, as I only know English helplines but please remember help is out there if you look for it. Don't suffer through this in silence.
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15/Boy.
I have a problem with my mom's way of life.She
doesnt care what she wears or looks like. She wears always nasty dresses (kinda exposing ). I hate the way the men stairs at her.On last tuesday I was watching tv with my friend (boy), she came in the room, wearing a loose frock, when she bend to collect magazines from the floor, her frock was up and her nude hips were exposed to us (she was not wearing panty as usual). I was soo embarassed in front of my friend.
How should I mend the ways of mom. Pl. advice.
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If your Mother's behaviour is upsetting you, you really need to talk to her about it and explain that although she feels comfortable in the way she looks and the way she acts, it reflects badly on you and it is making life more difficult for you, at age where things are already a struggle.
However, there may be a deeper issue here with your Mum. A lot of people dress this way because they have low self esteem and getting attention from men by dressing like this boosts some of their self esteem for a while. You haven't mentioned a Father in your prolem, so I am guessing your parents are divorced? If this is the case, it might be that the divorce was a messy time for her and acting like this makes her feel wanted again. If your parents are still together, I would be very interested to know your Father's take on the situation.
Ultimately, the only thing you can do is try to talk to her about it. If this doesn't work, trying buying her a sweater or some jeans for every birthday or Christmas until she gets the message.
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I'll try to make this short and simple. I dated this guy (adam) over a year ago, it didnt work out. The other night I went bowling with some friends and he was there with his best friend (kyle). it was awkawrd, and kyle and I never really talked even when I dated adam, but he wanted to help me talk to adam so we could atleast be freinds. I got home that night and I talked to kyle online. We found out we have ALOT in common, and we already know alot about eachother , and eacothers relationships. So we talked ALL night till 4 am, and found out we had a connecton. so Kyle asked adam how he would feel if he (kyle) and I would date,, Adam got furious and said he wouldnt talk to kyle nemore. So we are torn between, dating and hiding it from him and seeing if it works out and then tel him. or not dating because kyle could lose his best friend hes had forever.. So i dunt know what We should do.. ne suggestions? (link)
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This decision is more down to Kyle than it is you. If Kyle and Adam are really good friends then he needs to make the decision as to how much he is prepared to risk his friendship.
The general rule of thumb is that you never date friends ex-boyfriends and you never date friends of your ex-boyfriend. However, I always believe that if there is the possibility for something truly special, there are circumstances where that rule may be broken.
That being said, I don't think that going behind Adam's back is a good idea. After all, if he has already shut the door on the idea, how do you think he would feel if he then found out from someone else that his best friend not only went against his wishes but betrayed him further by going behind his back? There really is no question mark over this side of the matter. If you choose to date, Adam has to be the first person you tell.
You and Kyle need to get to know each other a little better before he decides whether to risk his friendship. A connection may have already been established but is it stronger than his friendship connection with Adam?
I would strongly recommend that you go by Adam's wishes for now. Don't date yet. Spend some more time talking, as friends only and see how strong your feelings for each other are. If you end up feeling that you couldn't breathe another day without each other (or something less dramatic but still very strong), then you need to tell him that you both deserve the chance to see if this could really be something. If it's just a crush then you'll soon know about it, before Kyle risks losing his best friend.
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I have to present a speech infront of about 30 people tomorrow for class and I'm REALLY nervous. I'm doing an oratorical speech and it's just so crazy. My friends have told me to breathe in and out but it only works for like 4 minutes. I've never done a speech before, this is my first time. So...is it alright to be nervous? And what do you suggest I do when I'm up there?
Thanks (link)
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Nerves are very normal. Do you know that no matter how many times people like Julia Roberts act in front of a live audience, they still get nervous? And they do it every day! That is how normal it is!
I can promise you that if you make sure you know exactly what it is you need to be saying and practise saying it all very slowly and clearly, when you get up there it will all go so quickly, you will blink and be back sat in the audience!
I know you're scared that you might mess up, get your words wrong, say something embarrassing or do something embarrassing in front of people. So what if you do? Have you ever seen TV outtakes? People do it all the time! Just remember that if something like that does happen that people find it easier if they laugh at themselves. It really isn't the huge deal it seems and afterwards, you'll realise that.
Just make sure you remember what you need to do, don't forget to look up at the audience more than you do your cue cards, don't speak too fast and remember that it's okay to be nervous, even terrified. You'll get up there, you'll do great and life will go on as it always did afterwards. Everything WILL be fine.
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so like me kayla brandon and kyle just got back from the movies.okay so me n kyle arent going out but we sorta have a 'thing' i guess for eachother. okay so i was sitting next to kyle.. and i bend down to get my sweatshirt from the floor and he like he put his hand on my booty and like i sora jumped up and like he like pulled me toward him so i was leaning on his shoulder... and his hand was on my ass for the longest time so like i pulled his hand off and like onto my lap and just like held his hand ad he like had a BONAR
i was like ohhh shitttt. l.ol and then he kept like kissing me on the forehead and stuff like tht and just cute little ones on the cheeks and like then at the end he kissed me on the lips... like he tried to get some tongue-idge but i just kinda pushed away but then like i.dk. thts the problem we arent going out i cant just go around kkisssing random people lmfao bc like tay just broke up with him like 2 days ago dude thats not right like yeah hes a sweet guy and all... and tonight was fun.. just like idk hes not the cutest thing on earth... and zits are a major turn off lo.l
what should i do? i need your help!
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What you should do really depends on what you want in this case.
My initial reaction of this guy is that he's trying to move kinda fast with a girl he isn't even going out with, not to mention he only split from another girl two days ago and that is a little cause for concern because they're not normal symptoms of a monogomous man.
However, the question here really is, do you like him enough to ignore all this and go out with him? If you really do like him and want to go out with him badly, then do so. But I warn you to tread lightly because he is very full on and can lead you down paths your not ready for and quite possibly do the same thing with a different girl the next night, when he tells you he's hanging out with his mates.
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hi, well i have a late period this month, it's the 7th, it was supposed to start on the 5th, and it's always on time. i had sex a little over a month ago, but around 5 -6 days after i got my period.
can i still be pregnant? (link)
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I'm not going to lie to you here. There is a small chance you could be pregnant. However, it is only a small chance and being only 2 days late, I don't think you need to worry just yet.
There are a lot of factors that can affect your period, such as stress, medication, weight loss and so on and it is far more likely that something along these lines is the cause of the delay.
You have all the symptoms that indicate you will get your period so I expect you will come on within a day or two at most. However, if you have not started by the end of the next week, take a trip to your doctor to get yourself checked out. It doesn't mean for sure that you are pregnant but a lengthy delay in a period should always be noted with a doctor because they need to ensure nothing else is going on 'down there'.
Don't worry too much but use this as a learning curve. When you next see your doctor, get yourself put on the contraceptive pill, which is 99.9% effective against pregnancy. Make sure you also use a condom when having sex, to protect against STI's and STD's and to make extra sure that you are protected against pregnancy. It is what the Dutch call going 'Double Dutch.
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Hey guys sup?? Well I've been working at my local Dunkin Donuts for the past 4-5 months for extra cash. Recently my boss has been a real dick and given me a real hard time about everything. He even talks behind my back when I'm not at work saying how bad of a worker I am. The ironic thing is that he hasn't fired me yet..He's really rude to me all the time and even curses at his workers, becuse he has a really bad temper. Maybe he really likes me in a sexual way and that's why he doesn't want to fire me...(he's 50 and I'm 16) I really don't know. Anyways last night I even hd a nightmare abut him that he was like yelling and screaming at me. I'm really afraid of him...
I feel like I should quit but what should i use as my excuse?? Should I be truthful or should I make up some bs and leave?? Or should I try to stick it out even though I'm really scared of him?? Please help me..I'm facing the Devil here. lol. Thanks in advance!! (link)
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I hate to say this, but you will have to deal with Managers like him almost every place you will ever work!! The good thing is that at your age, you can afford to get out of the situation now and find somewhere where you don't have to work directly under that sort of person.
When you resign, you have a right to withhold your reason for leaving. You can just say you want to leave and leave it at that. However, if I were you, I would probably tell him straight that you are leaving because you are fed up with the abuse you get from him and you deserve a Manager who has a little respect for you. If he really doesn't think you are a good worker then you are unlikely to get a favourable reference from him anyway. At least if you tell him (try to be constructive, rather than rude)how he has made you feel and that he is your reason for leaving, it might just encourage him to stop treating the other employees this way. Managers like this need someone to stand up to them a bit and tell them they are not treating you fairly.
If you really do not want to say any of that to him, simply tell him you don't want to work there any more and want to look for a job elsewhere. Leave it at that and walk.
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After you end your period when you're around 50ish, what happens next? Is there a new kind of period? Or does something else happen? Or do you just go back to being a kid again like with no more things that come 1nce a month? (link)
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After your periods stop when you hit the menopause, that is it, so to speak. However, when it happens, you can look forward to mood swings, hot flushes (although if you are in America, they call them hot flashes, I believe) and an increased chance of developing things like breast cancer.
Believe me, there is nothing particularly favourable about the menopause other than the periods ceasing. Men have NO idea how lucky they are!
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Feel so misarable..lost my only love..have no words to describe how i feel inside.Do not wish such misery even to my enemies.Bit by bit losing my last hope,he won't be mine any more..I need him back..please help (link)
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I am so sorry this has happened to you. I know how you feel but I can promise you two things. Firstly, you DON'T need him and secondly you WILL get over him. I know it might feel like you're falling down a deep dark well and that you just can't carry on and be happy without him but if you were happy with him and he turned out not to be your 'one', imagine how much better life can be when you find him.
For now, the best thing I can suggest to you is that you buy a HUGE box of Kleenex (Balsam because it's better for the hooter!), a very large tub - or tubs - of ice cream and any other fattening dessert you fancy. Get a couple of weepy movies and lock yourself away in your room for two full days, in your pyjamas. Then let loose. Cry, scream, kick, rip up photos with his face on. Try writing him a letter, telling him all your feelings and then burn it or rip it up. Do NOT send it, because this will only cause you a lot of embarrassment in the future (sadly, something I say from first hand experience!!) but completely destroy it.
After you have had your two days fully grieving for the relationship you once had, arrange a night out with some friends. Get yourself pampered by doing a full facial, manicure and pedicure. Put on your best outfit and go out with your friends. Slap a HUGE smile on your face (nothing attracts the opposite sex like a bright smile - regardless of boob size!) and have your heart set on ensuring you have a damned good night. Every time you think about him, try to smile at the good times you had and then kick the thought away, trying to remember you can have that again with someone you will have a true love with in the future.
Don't worry too much and don't let your heart stay broken. If you don't fix it, it will be too hard to let someone else in. Chin up. You will be fine, I promise.
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so im 'together' with t his one guy, we arent going out but we do the same stuff. were freshman in highschool. i have neever kissed a guy before and i dont know why i wont kiss him! its not like i dont want to or think its gross.. it doesnt matter, but i just cant do it. maybe he should make the move? should i wait? how do i stop this madnesssssss? (link)
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Sounds as though you are probably suffering from the same nerves everyone gets about their first kiss, so don't worry, the reluctance to do it is completely normal. If you really do think you wanted to kiss him, the best way to do it is just to take a deep breath and do it!
It is quite intimidating, I will admit that but your first kiss is only one of what will be (hopefully) a great many and since the more often you kiss a guy, the less scary it gets, the sooner you start the better! However, I should stress that you should only ever kiss a guy if you're sure you want to, especially when it is your first kiss. I'm a great believer in the idea that your first kiss ought to mean something. So be sure before you do it.
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ok so me and my "bestfriend" ashley have been friends for a couple years now and we grew apart so much but she told my friend jen that she doesnt think we grew apart at all but i dont no what to do to let her no that i dont think we should be friends anymore its not that shes mean or i want to pick a fight i just dont have fun with her anymore i get so bored when im at her house so i need to find out how to not hurt her feelings or get in a fight and ill rate 5s as long as you dont say talk to her cause that will hurt her feelings (link)
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Unfortunately, as we get older, we really do effectively 'grow out of' some of the friendships we used to have. It sounds as though this is what has happened here and I'm afraid to say it might well happen a few more times. The sense of fun you had with that person changes, or the problems you have grow more mature and you find you can't discuss it with them. It's just one of those things.
You may not want to talk to her but I can assure you any other way of hinting to her you no longer wish to be friends will be far more hurtful to her. You could just speak to her and tell her you think you have changed too much to maintain a proper friendship with her and that you think she might be better off finding other friends.
If you really do not wish to speak to her, you could always try to point her in the direction of some people she might fit in better with. Try to find something she is really interested in and recommend she goes to a class or something for it. Or introduce her to someone you think she would be better friends with. This is really the only way you can do this without speaking to her directly and without hurting her feelings.
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On weekends, and such, I go out with my mother and grandmother. I'm very close to them, and they're really cool. We relate a lot even though we're all different generations. I guess I'm a lot closer to my family than most people my age.
I look at other seventeen year olds though, and they're always out with their friends, partying and stuff. I very rarely go out with my friends, because a lot of them annoy me and I have a lot more fun with my family.
But I'm starting to think I'm the only teenager who goes out with both my mother and grandmother, and I should be going out with people my age doing more "teenagery" things, as I don't want to look back on my youth and think of all the things I missed out on.
Firstly, is this pathetic? Should I be doing things with people my own age? If so, how do I meet some new people?
Be honest! I can take it. And thank you. (link)
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No I don't think it is pathetic at all. The fact is that there are a lot of teenagers out there who would rather spend time with their friends, getting drunk, taking drugs or doing something completely meangingless. You on the other hand, are making the most of your family, which is something you will come to realise in the future is time that has been very well spent. You will grow up really knowing your family and being an active part of it, rather than abandoning them to pursue superficial hobbies and so on. Now I'm not saying all teenagers act this way but I think it is very important to spend as much time as possible with your family. You never know when they won't be around when you want them.
If you want to do things with people your own age, then do so. You should balance your life as much as possible. The best thing I can suggest you do to help you meet new people is to take up some sort of club or activity outside of school, so you can meet a whole range of people. However, don't think you missed out on anything. In years to come, all the teenagers you think you should be joining in with will look back on their teen years and regret the way they ignored, shouted and were generally horrible to their parents. You will never have to do that.
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I'm 17/f and I've known my best friend, Ryan (well, ex best friend) literally my whole life. Our dad's were best friends in high school and they live next door.
Well, Ryan and I used to be really close. We hung out all the time and were really good friends. We hung out with the same group of people and I thought I knew everything about him. About 2 years ago, I was in his room waiting for him to get out of the shower and I was just looking around when I found LSD tabs and pills that I couldn't identify.
I waited for him to get out and I asked him about it. Turns out that he had some friends that I didn't know about and he had been into drugs and such for a few months. I couldn't believe what he was saying and even more so, I couldn't believe that I didn't suspect anything.
He told me not to say anything to anyone but I refused and said that I at least was going to tell his older brother and see what he thought about it. We argued about it for a while and he told me that he did not do it that much, it wasn't a big deal and that he would stop. So I trusted him and didn't say anything.
Long story short, I shouldn't have trusted him. His parents put him in Rehab a while after and he's supposed to be clean now.
Well, we haven't been talking as much lately and I don't really see him at the usual parties and friends' houses and things but I just thought he didn't want to see me because we had gotten into a big fight a few months ago (reason to why we weren't talking).
I was at the mall yesterday and I saw him there with a guy named Zach. This guy was the one that had gotten him into drugs. Seriously, he's the biggest druggie anyone knows.
Know I don't know what to do because I'm not certain he's doing drugs again for sure. But, I don't want to keep it from his parents again because I don't want it to end up like it did 2 years ago. And, I'm not sure how he'll take me asking him about it considering we don't really talk anymore.
What should I do?
(link)
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I know that by telling his parents that he is quite possibly taking drugs again is a big risk but it's a bigger risk not to. Supposing he is so hooked on them that he suffers an accidental overdose? I know that it isn't definite he is back on them but in some situations like this, it is best to look at the worst case-scenario, even if it is difficult.
You might not have any proof but if he is hanging out with a drug dealer, there is no reason to believe he isn't buying them from him as well. Let's face it, if you were completely off drugs, would you hang around with your dealer without being tempted?
Let his parents know, either anonymously by a note through their door, or wait until he is out and try to explain the situation to them. Stress you don't know for sure if he is back on them but you have every reason to believe he might be. I know it's tough, but as his parents, they have a right to know.
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