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her boyfriend
ok, i have this friend. she's a girl and i'm a guy. we're really close. we kinda flirt with each other but we do it in a friendly way. but she has a bf who thinks that i'm trying to steal her from him. we(me and my friend) keep trying to tell him that we're just friends, but he won't listen. then my friend and i went to a nightclub last night without him. well, the next day he found out that i was dancing with his gf(my friend) and he calls me up and he's like "You better F****ing stop that S**t or else i'm gonna F***ing beat the S**t out of you when i see you!" what i'm wondering is what should i do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This is a very difficult situation because the decision on whether or not your friend hangs out with you any more ought to be hers, rather than her boyfriend's. If I may just give my personal opinion, he doesn't sound like a very nice guy at all.
The problem is, her boyfriend seems overly jealous and very possessive and this means that being so close to her as you are is a threat as far as he is concerned, probably because you are closer to her than he is. There really isn't anything you can do about this, because he is the one with the problem here, rather than you.
This being said, you might need to back off for a while. Don't do it without giving her an explanation. Tell her that you can't risk getting beaten up by this boyfriend of hers every time you hang out so for now, you think it is better if you don't see each other for a while. BUT, this is very important. Let her know that you think he is a very intimidating guy and that if he ever threatens her in any way, she is come to you. I'm not saying he would hurt her but guys with tempers like that and who are that possessive are normally not good news for the girls they date or marry so let her know you are there if she needs you.
Hopefully, when she realises that he is a bully, she will no longer see him and you can carry on being friends. It isn't nice to be the one who has to give in and stand down but ultimately, it will be much safer for you than the risk of being on the wrong end of this guy's temper. Don't worry, I'm sure she will make the right choice.
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What you should do is not dance with another guy's girlfriend. Now, I understand that you both are only friends, but you wouldn't want your girlfriend dancing with another guy even if you knew for sure they were only friends.
And if you and her really want to prove to him that you both are only friends, don't obsess with trying to prove it. Act like friends, talk like friends, make sure you are actually acting like friends. Make sure she's getting time with her boyfriend alone and not spending every minute with you. Close friendships between males and females cause a lot of tension when it comes to having a boyfriend or girlfriend.
And maybe he's not catching the idea that you both are only friends because you mentioned that you both flirt with each other. He's probably noticing that between the two of you. Usually when males and females are friends, they eventually become something more and that's the obvious truth. I think you need to get this all resolved with this guy and tell him that you are sorry even though you don't feel very sorry. Just think of it this way, what if you were in his position? Would you want your girlfriend flirting with her friend and dancing with him? Of course not.
-TheTeenGirl
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First off, I think you should make your friend aware that this situation isn't getting any better, but in a more general way. Approaching her with this specific incident, and the details of this specific conversation might leave you looking like exactly what her boyfriend seems to think you are. What I mean is, this guy doesn't sound like the best guy for your friend to be dating, but that's ultimately her decision. Bringing up specifics makes it seem like you are trying to persuade her, which she may resent you for later, whatever decision she makes. Instead, explain to her that while you will always be her friend, it might be best to step back a little until she and her boyfriend work this out one way or the other. That way, you can address the problem without losing a friend... Or your teeth. :)
Secondly, if you don't mind my asking, if you and this girl are just friends, and neither of you wants more out of it, what's with the flirting?
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Hey if I were you I'd back off a little until something happeneds between them...I mean you wouldn't want the boyfriend beating the shit out of you! Just give it time ok? Take care
Kelley
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Okay well you sound interested in her and even if you aren't you should tell her he said this so she can either talk to him aobut it or dump him. If you think of this as a serious threat like he might kill you I would inform the police but if hes just some whimpy white boy I wouldnt take him too seriously :] hope I helped xoxo good luck.
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