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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Okay a guy that's in most of my classes knows where I live. He lives REALLY close to me, only one complex away, and I'm just really scared about it. Not that he's a creep or anything, but I don't want him talking to my parents and stuff like that. About like a month ago, I was annoying him I guess and he said "Don't make me tell your dad you've been bad" or something like that. He said it jokingly, but I'm still scared that he might actually tell my parents something. I saw him walking around like in the front of my house today (I'm guessing he was just trying to get to his complex or something) but I don't know if he saw me or not. How do I deal with this? Without confronting him.
It doesn't sound like he's stalking you or anything so as i see it, there's nothing to 'confront' him about.
Since you live in the same neighborhood, same block, its natural for him to know where you live. It isn't a crime for someone to know where a schoolmate lives.
It sounds like you 're over thinking this and letting your imagination run wild with scenerio's that are very unlikely to come true.
If you could tell from the incident that he was joking, then why would you think he'd seriously come talk to your parents. This was a month ago? Seriously...if he wanted to say something he would have done so immediately. I don't know of any teens who normally go running off to friends or classmates parents and ratting on them. It's not something most teens do.
Now lets get down to what you actually did to him. Annoying him? Was he really acting annoyed, and what were you doing to pick on him in the first place. Unless you were copying and going along with the crowd and everyone was picking on him, if it was pretty much just you, I'd have to question your statement that you don't like him. One of the things teens do when they are interested in someone is pay attention to that person, whether it is positive or negative attention.
Picking on someone to tease or annoy is a way of acknowledging that you noticed they exist, otherwise most people don't even waste the effort or time to go out of their way to plan on what to do to someone they aren't interested in. Staring and glancing at a person often, finding excuses to be near a person and picking on someone are ways of paying attention when interested.
Soooo....either you've been lying to yourself that you are not interested in him, that you aren't even a bit intrigued and might like him,
...or you feel very guilty about how you treated him a month ago and are still feeling bad about it and can't let it go as he most likely has. If thats the case, go tell him you're sorry for whatever it was you did to annoy him, apologize and reassure him that you won't ever do it again.
then you can continue your life with a free conscience not fearing retaliation. Just in case theres a chance for friendship, there's nothing wrong with being best friends with a guy, even if you don't feel romantically towards him at all. Just make sure you make that clear early on after having become friends. Good luck dear
Do cigerettes mess up your period
Since I am no doctor, I looked for info on the web for you. Here's a study that was done on the affects of cigarette smoking and womens health.
http://journals.lww.com/greenjournal/Fulltext/1999/01000/Cigarette_Smoking_and_Effects_on_Menstrual.13.aspx
The results are for women who smoke at least 20 cigarette a day or more. Those who smoke less then, I would assume have much less chance of experiencing any of the effects discovered.
1. the days between periods are shorter by a few days, such as 25 or so instead of normal 28 so the period comes more often.
2. Ease of Ability to conceive is affected, its much harder to conceive though still possible.
3. Heavy smokers tended to experience menopause much sooner than non smokers.
So based on the study, cigarettes in a certain amount can effect your cycle, make conception more difficult and bring on menopause sooner
So I thought it would be super cute to do a personalized mug for my boyfriend for Valentines Day. It is white, has a 'tic-tac-toe' pattern with hearts and it says our names beside it and "
I think you're off to a great start with movie tickets.
If you want all the items to fit in the mug you are limited. In that case you might want to add one of those individual packets of cocoa to go along with the chocolate or mints or even a little 'Sweethearts' candy box with the hearts with sayings. Another thing that won't take up much room is a handful of those cookie wafer sticks. If you're not sure what I'm talking about, put that in a such on the web and look at images. Some groceries may have them but I have seen them more often appear around different holidays, at dollar stores and the pharmacies cookie/candy snack isle.
Or ask your friends to keep an eye out for them cus they really do look great in a mug. Another thing you might want to do is if you're sexually active is to have a racy part to it, a pair of sexy panties at the bottom of the mug for you to model later. Even though you get to wear them, he will consider it a gift for him, to see you in it. The idea of a hunt is also great. You can leave a note that tells him to go look somewhere else, like under a bed or in the nightstand, a certain kitchen cupboard, first destination could have your horse with a note pinned to it telling him where to look next, the next could lead to a candle or incense if he likes that, a note there leads to the next spot where he finds a framed pic of you. It could be a special simple low cost valentines frame from the drug or dollar stores. oR even a clear photo holder magnet for the fridge with your pic inside. At another location he discovers a bottle of wine. You could buy a spool or two of curling ribbon and have maybe 3 strings tied to the handle of the mug where ever you have it in the center of a room with each string leading to a hidden gift that won't fit in the mug. Just decide first if you want the theme more to be 'about the experience' rather than personal gifts for him, the experience would be the wine, candle panties, maybe a massage oil.
If you want to represent more the ultimate date like dinner, movie and snuggling and romance at home after, Put a recipe card in the mug, of a favorite meal of his to represent dinner, maybe two long white or red candlesticks for a home made candlelight dinner, after which you go to the movie the tickets are for and then the massage oil and sexy panties for fun at home afterwards. You know him best and what he'd like. Have fun!
i dont want to have pregnancy.i missed my periods this month 29.iam very much worried.plz tell me what to do to make my periods come.At any cost......
Are there any pills which doesn't have any side effect in future?????...................reply me as soon as possible........
If you are indeed pregnant, there is nothing you can do to make your period come because periods stop when you are pregnant. A period is the shedding of the lining of your uterus when you do not become pregnant each month. So the lining is being used for the fertilized egg which means a baby is starting and since theres no need to shed the lining, no period. There are other reasons for no period, usually stress and illness are the most common factors.
If you might be pregnant, you can have it confirmed by taking a pregnancy test, seeing your Dr. or visiting Planned Parenthood.
For the future, There is one method that is completely hormone free, 99.9% effective and is completely reversible, and in the long run more cost effective, This would be Paragard, the copper IUD.
http://www.paragard.com/Default.aspx
There is another IUD that uses hormones, the Mirena, you don't want that. Its good for 5 years but Paragard is good for up to 10 years. While Paragard is more expensive up front than other birth controls, the Dr.s and pharmacies make more money on the hormone types which must be purchased either monthly or shots that must be redone every 3 months, etc... I also used Paragard before I had my kids. Got it when I married at 20 and had it in for 6 years before we started trying for a kid.Had my baby a year later.
There are only a few reasons why some women can not have an IUD but a Dr would let you know if that were the case.
I want to lose 60 pounds in 4-6 months. I am 5'5" and 165 pounds. I want to use the elliptical and standing bicycle simply to get skinny and lean (maintaining my feminine figure), not bulky. I'm also switching to entirely healthy foods. How should I go about using the elliptical and bicycle, and are they good to use to get my desired results? i'm not going to run because i don't want to lose my curves. ideally, i'd get ballet lessons, because i essentially want a ballet body (i regret quitting when i was young), but i can't right now, as they are too expensive. so any hints about that I'd really appreciate. like if i should just stick to the elliptical (and how long, and at what difficulty and altitude, if that makes a difference) instead of also adding the bicycle, etc.
I am glad to hear you are considering the whole package of what it takes to be healthy, such as dietary changes besides exercise.
I am concerned with the amount you wish to lose as I am 5'2 and 110, I have looked good also at 125. I have 3 daughters who are your height, 5'5 and 5'6 and they range from 135 to 140 and are very slim with no chub at all on them. So the weight part sounds extreme. Makes me wonder if perhaps you have an issue with your self image.
We'll come back to that.
I couldn't tell you what program to use with the elliptical but it is a good choice and will provide the needed aerobic exercise for your heart, as will bike riding.
In addition, I have found that yoga stretches are really good way to start toning the body. If the muscles are overworked, then I believe yoga stretches can help to keep the muscles from knotting up and getting too tight.
There are many good pictorial books of yoga that you can find at the bookstore. Or check out video's online with easy beginner, intermediate or hard yoga
Here's one Tara Stiles with over 400 videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PgIfOOHwH8
I'd like to tell the story of a friend. She had to lose weight, maybe 30-40 lbs. She also was looking for income. A male friend suggested she try being a web cam girl...she was a bit older and divorced and from the things he heard her say, had lots of issues with how she looked. Well, she did start the web came thing and found that she was getting lots of compliments from men finding her beautiful just as she was, not having to lose weight, and collecting a group of regulars who came to see her. No...I am not suggesting you do this...hang on...I am getting to my point.
In doing webcam, she saw images on screen of what she looked like on line and so she found herself adjusting her posture, or stretching certain ways when takng webcam photos of herself that would make her look even better. Knowing she was desireable to guys right where she was at, she was no longer concerned about having to change for the guys, she decided she wanted to be in her best health physically, and she wanted to emotionally be also at a good place, comfortable and accepting of herself. She never did any yoga, any exercises, just the "preening" in front of a mirror or cam, to hold her body a certain way and she lost 35 lbs. I can't say something so simple would work for everyone. But even i could see that a big part of her body being able to release some weight was her changing her idea of self image. good luck to you.
Okay, so, I like writing, and I want to start a new book. When I was ten (four years ago), I wrote a book that my friends and family really liked. It was a 230 pg. fantasy novel (with mythical creatures and all that stuff), and now I want to write a new fantasy novel. I just can't think of any good ideas though. I mean I've had ideas, but none of them actually got anywhere. Any suggestions? Thanks.
I am a non published writer and have written stuff since I was about 10 also. Have a pad of paper near you at all times or run to your computer and have a saved document where you jot your ideas as they come to you. Currently I am writing about time travel, a freak of mother nature sends one guy hundreds of yrs into the future..our time. Imagine how strange todays world is for someone from centuries ago? So much time travel has been written of us going into the past or into the future but I haven't come across my scenerio.
Think of a fairy tale you love and take a spin off of that. Like the princess and the frog who is a prince. Her kiss breaks the spell and he becomes human again.The basic plot is that an animal becomes human again. For you to take a spin off of that, what if the animal was never human to begin with, lets say a dragon. And the dragons can talk and interact with humans and this dragon is friendly and befriends a girl and falls in love and wants to become a man, the story reveals how he goes about finding a way to do that which of course must involve magic. To give an extra twist, perhaps there is a real human boy trying to court the gal so the dragon has a rival. To add another twist, the dragon may know that male as the guy who trains him and rides him. See what I mean?
How about the story of the girl whose brothers were turned into swans by the evil step mother and she must do something that turns them back into humans. What if the brothers are turned into something non living, such as different statues in a beautiful garden on the grounds. And their statues come to life for a short period every night or perhaps only on the full moon. Then you write about who she goes to for help and what can be done to break the spell. Let me know if this helps and what ideas you come up with. I love to give help and encouragement to those who write.
I have a crush on this boy, but recently I found out he likes someone else. At first,I told myself I'll find someone else, and try to forget about him. But I can't seem to find another boy to replace him, and no matter how much I try to prevent it,I still have some feelings. How can I get over my first love?
You say he "likes" someone else, but secretly liking someone is very different from him telling the girl he likes her and both of them dating each other. So if he isn't dating or exclusively hanging out with this girl, there is no reason why you can't make a move.
Sometimes, it just takes time to get over feelings you have, interest and attraction to a certain person and theres nothing special you can do. Or you can keep your mind distracted by other activities.
If you are unable to find another guy who catches your interest, there must be some qualities about him that you prefer over others, whatever they may be. A good thing to do is to become conscious of what they are. Ask yourself what exactly is it about him that draws your interest, besides that thing you feel when you think of him, look at him or are near him. Examples might be very external, how tall he is, body build, how he dresses, color and/or style of his hair. While it may seem like one is being superficial, it's not really. No one cares or finds it odd if you prefer chocolate chip mint icecream to vanilla. So it is with the opposite sex. I happen to prefer brunettes and long hair over anything else. Or perhaps you like his confidence, how outgoing he is, or how quiet he is, you like his laugh, sense of humor, you like how his mind thinks, etc. Take note of those likes. Even write them down. I did that once i was divorced and looking for someone again. Keep adding to the list as you experience things with guys throughout your teen and college years and by time you are ready to look for your mate for life, you will know what you are looking for and be able to recognize some of it when meeting a person and discover if the rest is there once you spend time with him.
For now, the best thing for you to learn is how to approach someone you are crushing on. Here's a video that might help.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQqLhp0hcJg
Help me persuade my mom to let me go to this concert tomorrow.
She knows im paying for it myself and I have rides there and back. Would it help to tell her the tickets were already bought from a friend, or will that make it worse?
Shes mad at me for going to the mall on friday,
Hon, I really have no idea what the situation is here so it's hard to answer. I don't know your age for one thing. I don't know if your parents are generally over protective and don't allow you any of the usual freedoms most teens have, I don't know if you have recently, or repeatedly done some things that broke their trust of you and thats why you aren't allowed to go anywhere. I don't know if there are rules that are not being followed, lack of communication, or whatever.
If mom is mad that you went to the mall, and I see going to the mall as an ordinary teen event, there must be some reason, something you aren't telling us. Have you ever taken off without moms knowledge and she worried for your welfare because she didn't hear from you. Just a call to say, Hey mom, I am at the mall with Julie would be enough to settle her fears for you. Have you shirked your chores and taken off for the mall intending to do them later and never did them, or was the rule, chores and homework before taking off with friends? And you've broken that rule? Are you the oldest or an only child and the parents are new at being the parents of a teen and they are not transitioning well into allowing you some of the normal freedoms teens have in which they begin to learn how to express themselves, develop their own likes and hobbies, friends, activities, which may differ from those of mom or dad but not be anything bad? I could go on and on about what could possibly be reasons for mom not wanting you to go to a concert. And whatever her reasons are, whether her gettingover fears of letting you loose into the world, or rebuilding lost trust with you, etc...those things all take time to work on through, certainly not something that can happen in a day so you can go to the concert. Perhaps I might have suggestions if I knew more detail of whats been going on leading up to this.
Okay so my new sex partner has been through more than 20 sexual relationships(PROTECTED SEX). And I've been through only 4(also PROTECTED SEX).
So we decided to become sexual partners for the former two weeks. First week was okay and we had UNPROTECTED sex TWICE!
Second week we also had UNPROTECTED sex twice...
I am SUPER scared,nervous,worried and much anxious about HIV,STD,AIDS and whatever STD crap there is to carry...
So does anyone here know, as an expert in this stuff when's the PERFECTLY RIGHT TIME to get an HIV test?
Should I wait 3-6months? Or how long?
Also, don't you think I'm in great danger?
Thank you for simply starting or taking a moment read my worries and questions.
High fives to all
Thanks again x) !
I'm no doctor so I went on line to look for you. Typed in a search of "how long until symptoms of std" and got lots of results, heres one that spells out which ones can be asymptomatic and generally how long before symptoms begin to show on the others.
http://std.about.com/od/overviewofstds/a/incubationper.htm
Have either of you had an STD screening ever in your life? If not, there is no way you can be sure that he or you are in the clear as some of the STD's can lay dormant for a long time and symptoms never surface and some can be passed on without symptoms being there.
My personal opinion is that something just doesn't seem kosher to me here. You state he's had 20 sex partners before and was always careful to use protection. Do you truly believe that he took such care to use condoms each time with each girl even in the heat of passion? Well, okay, maybe he did. Then if he was perfectly capable of putting on a condom in the midst of a heated moment when passions were flowing, why did he stop doing that with you? Did you ever take a moment to think about it? Would you mind explaining to me exactly what you've got that would make a level headed, intelligent, careful guy who was able to take a moment for protection before, now finds himself so overwhelmed by you, that not just once, but four times, he succumbed to having unprotected sex with you? As I said, something about your story is not on the level.
Okay so I was saying that I wasn't feeling well too stay home from school (I felt really depressed and just didn't feel like going), so i took an ibuprofin so my parents would believe me. Well could anything happen to me since I didn't need it? Yes I do realize it was a stupid idea but I don't usually do this.
Also, it was only one pill. I took it hours ago, but I was just wondering if anything could happen.
Depression does not usually last just one afternoon or one day, it goes on much longer. So staying home from school is not going to help it. What will be the excuse the next day? Taking pills of any kind when one is not ill is not a good habit to get into.
To answer your question, Ibuprofen, taken when has no existing pain is not going to cause any medical problems but if you begin to reach out to take more dangerous stuff like street drugs or parents prescriptions to numb your pain or depression, that will not help either.
The question you did not ask is how to deal with your depression. I am going to try to answer that now because it is the more serious situation here.
As I see it, there are two kinds of depression, one that happens to be conditional on whats going on in your life and stress that has been going on for too long and no measures taken to address that stress. The other depression is one where your body just does not naturally produce enough of, or any at all, of the feel-good hormones that keep us from becoming depressed. I am including a list of things you can try first to see if you can raise the levels of those hormones naturally. This will only work if the part of your body that produces them works and the supply is only short right now due to lots of stress. Try my exercises for a week or two and if you do not notice any improvement, then approach your parents. Because they will need to get you seen by the Family dr. and referred on to a psychologist who will test you and if you need it, put you on a medication that will take care of the depression feelings.
Here's the things that help.
Scientific research has found that when people hug or kiss, levels of oxytocin rise because more are created. If you study 'Hugging therapy' online, you will discover that people need a certain amount of hugs daily for those levels to rise. One hug a day is not enough and almost all of us never even get one a day let alone one a week. One thing to keep in mind is that one cannot give a hug without getting one in return. And another thing to keep in mind, a short weak half hearted hug will not be strong enough to start creation of oxytocin, you need the full body, hard long lasting bear hug to begin to feel the effects almost immediately.
Another thing to combat depression is movement. Many people when depressed dont want to do anything but lie in bed all day. Inactivity will not help. Movement will and can come in different forms. The quickest most effective ones that don't require a long time invested are running, jogging, jump roping, skipping, dancing. Just skipping rope 5 minutes or dancing to one song will already have a positive effect. More is better.
Sound energies and the vibrations it carries have long been known to have positive effects on a person's wellness. One is the effect of vibrations in something like the Tibetan bowls, crystal bowls or gong therapy.
Music is a more widely used and available therapy. Both listening to and singing along are great therapy that can raise your feel good hormone levels quickly. The key is the melody more so than the words, remember, its sound therapy. I look for the melodies where when I am listening, it makes my heart feel lighter like a balloon about to float out of my chest. Thats the best way I can describe whether a particular melody is having the correct effect on you. A personal example would be Clocks by Coldplay. I can play that a couple times and my mood is immediately lightened.
Laughter and humor. The sayings “Laughter is the best medicine” or “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” are not just cute but meaningless sayings. There is truth behind it. Laughter will create and release the feel-good hormones in you, and especially so if it is prolonged laughter, such as watching a comedy act or a good comedy movie and not the light chuckle or two but the more effective belly ache laugh where your eyes start crying and you feel you have to pee.
We live today in a world that is harsh and cruel instead of peaceful and harmonious. Our brains require the use of lots of neurotransmitters to help us be able to handle the onslaught of daily stresses. The hormones get used up on a daily basis without us replenishing them, like the taking of a daily vitamin. Think of it as needing your daily H vitamin, happiness vitamin or hormone-inducing vitamin. So many of us are going for days without having any neurotransmitter hormones to help us cope mentally with daily life. After so many days, we finally have a break down and can not function any longer and that break down is depression. So give this a try. If it helps, continue to try and get some form of vitamin H therapy in each day. If not, go see a doctor.
My best friend who I've known for three years has all of a sudden stopped talking to me, and hanging out with the meanest girls in school, and pretends like she doesn't even know me, and totally pushing me out of a club I MADE and she is talking all the credit and pretending it was all her. She talked to me once this month, that's it.
are we talking about girls at the age of the on set of puberty? Because those hormones will mess with a girls usual happy go lucky personality emotionally. The hormones are one possible cause of changing from happy to angry for no reason at all, or falling apart and becoming sad and weepy for no reason. that could be one reason.
Or perhaps she felt like wanting to be part of a group of more popular girls and to do so has to show a dislike for you and the kind of kids she used to be part of.
Or something could have gone terribly wrong in her home life, something that is troubling her greatly emotionally, and to punish the parents, she has decided to rebel by hanging out with mean kids.
It could be other possible causes. If you think she will talk to you, you can try to bring it up and say you just want to know if its something you did. That way you can apologize if the reason she gives is legitimate. Otherwise, my guess is that it isn't you thats causing this. I know it hurts to be abandoned and to have others take credit for something you've done. In your heart, you'll just have to forgive them, knowing that likely they are struggling in their lives in some way whether hormones, terrible home life, etc...and they are just choosing a way to process through it that is not going to help them, they will only become more miserable, messed up or in serious trouble someday. Everyone has choices to make in life, no one can "Make" someone choose the right way...its called 'free will', something God gave us, thats why he doesnt interfere but will be there for you if you reach out to him first. So your friend has the freedom to make this choice that is hurting you. No one can say exactly why and she may never tell you. try to find peace by focusing on parts of your life where you do have some joy. If you can go on without being embittered by your experience and remain cheerful and caring, you will in time draw to you new friends who will be attracted by your wonderful personality.
hi im am 14 and i really like this guy, and i guess we are dating in a way. Neither of us have had our first kiss, and we've talked about it and we both seem to want the other one to make the first move, and he w told one of my friends how badly he wants to kiss me,and i think thats adorable but we bothe seem to have too many nerves to do it. We joke around and flirt and stuff like that, and we hold hands and hug all the time. I really like him and he really likes me.. so why is it so hard? he gives me nerves like that big time, and ive gotten so close to actually kissind him so many times. Any tips on getting over the nerves to just do it?
Sounds like you are both comfortable with each other otherwise and ready. The real problem is that with every second that you think about actually kissing, the harder it gets, and then the nerves hit. Once that happens it's virtually impossible to regain the moment and actually kiss.
So the next time you are close enough to kiss like when hugging, the moment that thought "We are close enough to kiss" crosses your mind, don't let another second go by, just give him a quick soft peck on the lips. It doesnt have to be anything more than the kind of kiss you might drop on mom's cheek, but it's enough to break the ice. And when you pull away, only pull away a few inches so that you are still within kissing distance for him to intitiate the next one which will be easier having broken the ice with the first one, and you two can work on making this second one more enjoyable.
OK how do I act like a tomboy n what would I do.how would I dress n do my hair.(I'm a girl) Because I really want to be this guy friend but I don't want to seem desperate like other girls.
I would like to point out a problem with your idea and it's focused on the word "Act". How to act...means you would not be yourself, you would be "Pretending" like taking on a role. Actors and actresses "pretend" to be the character they are portraying in a movie role.
Just be yourself. You can be yourself and not come across as desperate seeking a boyfriend like other girls.
How do you usually dress and do your hair. If you don't wear much makeup, or non at all, you dont wear perfume, do your nails or spend hours to make your hair look extra fancy, but you find yourself doing all this to impress a guy, then stop. The key is to be yourself. Lots of guys prefer the natural look, no makeup, a no fuss hair style, like the hair hanging loose, pulled into a pony tail or into a hair clip. Guys don't usually confess to the girl they don't like all the fuss they go through to impress them cus they dont want to upset the girl. There are guys who prefer natural beauty to what hollywood, and the fashion and makeup industry present as what guys desire. Young guys just starting out are overwhelmed at times by their hormones and when they go looking for girlfriends, dont know any better and look for what media has shown them as being desirable. But these guys who are pursuing the 'made up' girls who act desperate for a guy, are more likely to be hoping to have just sex than have a whole relationship.
Dress in what is appropriate, such as jeans for school or a walk or biking riding with him. Wear a dress to a fancy go to dinner or to a movie.
As for how to talk to him, how do you talk to your girlfriends. Your girl friends are friends because you have some things in common, some similarities in personality. So find what you have in common to talk to a guy about, topics may vary a little, like he won't be wanting to talk about the latest new nail polish or sales on clothes. If you've got a guy willing to talk to you but still feel awkward, then you might confess you don't know much about guys or how to act around them so you hope he would be nice enough to help you understand guys better and what they are like in general. Each will have their own personal tastes and will share that will you if they know you're open to hearing it.
15/F...
I have a huge crush on "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ bestfriend... But idk if he feels the same. I don't think so. He don't like hugging people and yesterday he hugged me and told me he *̩s gonna miss me. I know that *̩s a bestfriend relationship! Please help? I can't just tell him because I'm scared he'll freak out and never be "̮м̣̣̣̥γ̥"̮ friend again,,,!
If he is going to miss you, does that mean one of you is moving away permanently? If so, then there is no future possibility to pursuing a romantic relationship, and therefore no need to tell him. If one of you is going to be gone just for a short trip, but still be able to see each other and go to school together, then you might want to consider telling him.
There's ways to say so without it being as scary to the person you are confessing to. Instead of saying, "I have a huge crush on you" or "I am in love with you" use words that convey that process just starting, not that you are already there. For instance, "I am beginning to have stronger feelings for you than just friendship feelings. or "I think I am beginning to fall in love with you." In my teens, even I didn't know what real love was yet. So if I had it to do over, I'd stick with mentioning having the deeper feelings.
If he truly is your friend, he will not freak out if you tell him this way and he will appreciate that you trusted him enough to tell him. Then based on his answer, you will know how the relationship will continue, just as friends or into the romance zone.
Sorry about the lame title, but I don't know how else to word it. I had considered myself a Christian for most of my life until about two years ago. I don't put any particular label on my beliefs, but I'm leaning toward atheism. My family, who are all conservative Christians, have absolutely no idea. I don't want to ever tell them what I believe, because I wonder if this is just a "college-age phase" or something. It would hurt them so much, and I know without a doubt I would lose love from them. But let me get down to the real question...I am trying to find my first job, and my mother keeps telling me to apply for Lifeway, which is a Christian bookstore. Needless to say, I would be quite uncomfortable working there. How can I tell her that I'd rather not work there without revealing too much? Thank you.
First your question, I'd follow what Zane said. If they ask, like what type of job thats more active? You can just say, I'll know it when I see it. Use one of their lines on them if you must, "I can sense that it isn't what God has planned for me"
That isn't a lie, it's true. God is helping you see how to think for yourself as far as beliefs and faith go. Parents will teach their children from what they believe is right. What kids learn from their parents doesn't make it automatically right for them. If kids learned from observing parents to become cigarette smokers, become racist, become criminals, drug dealers, alcoholics, etc...just because the parents did it, doesnt mean its right. There's lots of other stuff we pick up too, how to handle relationships, manners, etc...and the parents may have no clue themselves but they teach the best they know, thinking that as the elders they know better just from life experience. They may, but that doesnt guarantee that they really know everything.
Like Zane, I also had a belief change in life. However my parents weren't highly religious and both had passed on already before I made my big change from born again spirit filled Christian, to becoming a mix of Spiritual but not religious, with many aspects of the earth based religions or what the Christians would call pagan.But I still felt those awkward times where for one reason or another I had to pretend like nothing had changed and I will still Christian.
I felt God or that higher power, whatever you want to call it, telling me that not every soul is going to be at the same place spiritually and ready to hear certain truths, and each one will have a path they are on that is perfect for them. Its like expecting a kindergartener or 4th grader to be able to handle being taught a high school level course. They're just not going to get it. So it is with spiritual awakening. I've grown leaps and bounds since leaving the church. What I believe God was telling me then compared to what I hear now, seems almost contradictory to what I now know. I have questioned whether God was not being honest with me. The explanation was that He was training me using the limited words, and concepts I understood back then, using words that for me now don't exist in my beliefs anymore but they helped back then in my evolution. The fact may be that your family isn't ready as you are to think for yourself. And that is okay. I know you just want the same attitude in return from them.
I can't say that family will stop loving you over your change of faith. If they could do so, that would mean they never did love you, for their love is conditional and Jesus taught unconditional love. The biggest growth they may make this lifetime is to learn how to continue loving you even though you believe differently. Good luck
23/Female
My boyfriend and I recently broke up, it was "mutual" I guess you could say. We were dating for about 6 months (not a really long time together but hey you have to start somewhere)
We weren't communicating as much and we weren't hanging out because he is always so busy. He's currently a substitute teacher/fill-in, coaching basketball, and he recently got accepted into grad school so he's taking classes on top of everything else. With that being said, we never got to hang out. Mainly, we could only see each other on the weekends but with his classes starting he always has projects/papers/etc to work on. So it was about 4 weeks that we got to see each other. I told him that, that was getting really tough for me and I couldn't do that anymore and it wasn't fair to me. He said that until May he is going to be swamped with school work everyday and that he knows it's not fair at all and how he did not plan this to happen.
Time is his biggest issue right now and unfortunately he doesn't have time for a relationship. He said that he didn't plan on it to happen and he didn't envision it to happen. (Our breaking up/never having time to see each other) I said to him "Maybe we can try our relationship out again later. I understand things happen and you can't always help it" and he said "I hope so".
Background information: He's never really had a serious girlfriend or a serious relationship. (He doesn't play the field or have random hookup.) He just isn't really good with girls/talking to them/etc. He was always so nervous the first couple times we hung out but in a way he and I clicked really quickly. His friends have told me that he isn't used to a girl who cares about him as much as I do and actually shows that she cares. I feel like maybe he doesn't really know how to balance his life work, friends, girlfriend. Sometimes I think that maybe since he's never had a serious relationship that maybe he started growing some strong feelings and that freaked him out. He is a sweetheart and he has the biggest heart. He always said the nicest, most caring things to me and that made me feel so special.
So I guess what I'm asking is what I should do from here. Should I just give him his time/space and let him get everything under control and then in a couple weeks or a month get a hold of him and see how he's doing? Should I wait to see if he gets a hold of me? (Which I will admit, I'm afraid he won't. I over-think too much and sometimes I think the worst in situations)
Thank you so much for your help.
Ever since I read this statement made by a relationship expert, I share it with the girls: if a guy doesn't have the time to make you one of his top 3 prioritys, then time to leave him.
A thing about most guys is they naturally seem to know how to prioritize and can juggle many things that require their focus and attention. Girls seem to give top priority only to the guy once one enters her life. And that not always how life works. Other things will come and go that take focus and attention away from the lady for a couple days, weeks, maybe a month such as in a death of a relative and all that goes with handling their affairs and planning the service. Thats normal but if the schedule has no room for her, there's a problem. If a guy knows he has no choice and his schedule is so tight that he does not have room for a woman in his life right now, then he has no business going after one and starting dating her. If a guy does have room for a gal at the time he starts dating, (which I think may be your case) but he makes the choices soon after to crowd his schedule with things that bump you down out of his top 3 priorities, then its not fair to consider yourself able to date when in fact there is no time to do so.
The relationship changes from boyfriend/girlfriend to acquaintances because acquaintances don't require the time and attention a dating relationship does.
Remember, these are choices that are important to him at this stage in life so nothing will change in weeks or a month or two until he see's one of these events through to the end. Sounds like everything was okay until the recent acceptance into grad school and thats what has made the difference. Its highly unlikely that he will drop the sub teaching since thats experience and some income and that is important. Dropping coaching isn't going to free up sufficient time for a relationship. Depending on the type of school and degree one goes after, just the school and what goes with it can take up 80% or even close to 100% of a persons time. My husbands daughter recently graduated but while pursueing her college degree, she had many breakdowns due to the fact she had zero down time. In fact her and CI art teams had many projects they stayed up all nighters for...that was the norm so she did not eat often and did not get enough sleep...since there wasn't even time for that. So your guy may have a schedule that truly has no room.
So do you hang around and wait for him? How long is he in grad school for? Cus he just started this fall, right? So is it two years, 4 years? Thats how long before he will have time for pursuing a woman in his life. He could be bad at managing his time or have bad study habits that make it all more a struggle for him than it should be but at this point, whats the likelihood of him finding time to learn time management.
If you were willing to wait years for a guy, and never date anyone else...thats one choice. But I think he realized how unreasonable that would be. Thats why he was willing to break it off.
A relationship is like a tender seedling. It needs time and attention devoted to it, so it can grow into a mature plant, for without care, it's likely it will end up shriveling up and dying.
A relationship is like that, it needs both parties putting 100% effort into it or it cannot grow, let alone mature.
There's a saying, "Happily ever after isn't because you wish it so. It only happens when both parties put in maximum effort to make it so." Due to his schedule, the timing isn't right for him to have a gal in his life right now.
Another note, you mentioned him not having had success with girls, being awkward around them, etc so here you come along and help him gain confidence. Females whether they have a child or not, come with that nurturing instinct. So just a warning to not confuse your nurturing instinct towards a guy to help him gain confidence with girls as he practices on you, with a the real perfect for each other, much in common, and in love relationship with a guy. Don't end up settling for less and keep yourself tied up guiding this man how to handle girls and how to date them and not be available for the right guy for you.
I'd remain friendly with him. But keep my eyes open and myself available for other guys.
If you meet Mr. Right, enjoy your relationship. If Your old boyfriend, once out of school, finds you're already taken, he can still come to you for advice with women and I'm sure you'd be happy to help him with how to treat a girlfriend.
19/f
My boyfriend broke up with me last week. We were together for two years and he told me he just doesn't love me anymore.
I've been having random moments of crying out of no where. I never knew it really hurt this bad. I know it's only been a week, but I want this pain to go away and it feels like it will last forever.
So I've been trying to do what I give advice to other people after they get out of a relationship. I try to keep myself busy. I go to work, but even there I find myself getting upset. I hang out with friends every second I can just so I don't have to sit at home alone.
How long does this last? Like I really just want to leave town and start over somewhere else.
Where do I go from here?
I mean I can try to find new hobbies, but everything I've ever wanted to do costs money and my parents use mine all on bills since we live paycheck to paycheck. At this moment I can't really buy anything for myself. The most I do is read but I find myself feeling so heart sick.
I know it takes time. But how long does this feeling last? Can anyone just tell me how to get past this whole grieving thing and pick myself back up?
When a person is truly 'in love' with someone, and showing them unconditional love, there is no such thing as "falling out of love". There are other things combined together that can portray themselves as love, such as being attracted to visually, feeling the lust sexually, excitement of the newness of, etc.... in most case's this kind of love, is more about what it does for the individual rather and how it made him feel rather than how he could love you. It's easier to say I love you than to live I love you.
Age and inexperience is a factor too. Without experiencing several different people in dating for a good period of time, there is no one to make comparisons with to know if you are settling for less or there is something better. Dating should not be about getting locked into a relationship for forever with the first or 2nd person who asks you out.
Somehow, society has sent a message to young people that it is more important to be part of "a couple" than it is to find the right person to live long term with. And probably 98% of us are not lucky enough to find real true love with a high school sweetheart. I acknowledge it exists but it is rare.
Another thing people do not take into account is that with every new relationship, there is a heightened energy we all feel in the beginning, it can last weeks and months and maybe, just maybe up to a year but I have not yet heard of it lasting for 2 years...so I am guessing that this has been some time in coming, maybe for the last whole year. This NRE, new relationship energy with someone you start dating, always wears off after a while. The NRE is enough for many to believe they are in love and they rush into marriage. Many married couples today are not in love with each other or at least one isn't. Some are content with that, and those who aren't, begin having affairs, or break up, such as is your case.
Something was missing for him. He may not know what exactly but at least he recognized he did not feel the way a guy should with someone you're in love with. So even though it hurts now, he did you a favor in breaking up. Would you rather have lived the rest of your life with a man who filled an empty space but was nothing more than just a friend because he did not feel that romantic love for you, or the unconditional love.
Now don't beat up yourself and think that you are lacking in some way. Just as one person likes chocolate icecream over strawberry, does not mean that one is truly better, they are just different, and variety is what this world is made up of. Personal preferences come into the picture, not just what we are visually attracted to. So you were not the right person for him as far as long term relationship goes, there likely wasn't enough there to really sustain a relationship.
If you desire to find a guy to live the rest of your life with, and want to start searching now, best to come up with a list of what you want and what you need. Like if you wish to have children some day, you have a need to find a man who wants children someday, loves kids, if you're religious and must have a believer too, then thats a need,a must too. A Need is something that there's no middle road about, it's either there or not and if not, then he's not a guy to be considered. Wow a man views women was important to me, i didn't want one who degraded women all the time, and felt men were superior. My husband acknowledges females are superior in many ways if not all and treats me like a Queen, tending to wait on me hand and foot quite often. I know you are still hurting. This pain will pass in time. If distractions aren't working, I hope that what I have shared about how attractions and love work in relationships will have some impact, at least to get your mind thinking differently about your loss. Just maybe, if he wasn't the right guy for you, if you could begin thinking about it as maybe something that was for your best interest in the long term, the fact that he broke up with you, then you may find it easier to get over the pain sooner. Without the mind understanding these things, it will be a lot longer and harder. I'd like you to have a better idea of what you are looking for in a guy and be better equipped to spot the true genuine love next time around not some weak copy of it. This will also help you be more confident to try ageven though you're ready, rather than hold back out of fear of being hurt again. good luck dear.
Ok. I'm a girl, he's a single gay guy. We've been friends for 2 years now, he even calls me his soulmate all the time. We always hang out and we do almost everything together. While I find him very attractive and a lot like me, I've respected his sexuality and refused to even consider to think of him romantically. That being said, I've noticed he's been getting REALLY friendly with me. He's always saying things like, ''I love your hair, it's so soft and long,'', or ''you have the prettiest eyes'', or ''you look beautiful today.'' He only does this to me.
We were going to his house to just hang out and the entire time we were walking home he held my hand and we didn't say anything. He let my hand go to open the front door and when I took my shoes off he slowly walked towards me and I kept stepping back until I hit the table and he leaned in really close and he was just staring at me for an entire minute! I didn't know what to do and he just kept coming in closer and closer and he was going to kiss me but then he stepped back and we were both awkwardly standing there and he muttered "sorry" ... I honestly don't understand, he told me he was 100% gay and he didn't have any interest in girls. I've never seen him act this way towards any other girl.
I guess my question is, gay men: do you ever find yourself against all odds, falling for a woman? Is it possible? What do I do? Do I just ask him directly?
I'm a female and only know of stories on the opposite side of the coin. Females I've known who believed they were gay...until one day they meet a guy, the one and only person of the opposite sex they are attracted to, they still have no attraction to men in general, only the one they got married to, but they are still very attracted to and find themselves needed female sexual partners/lovers as well. I am sure this can work as well in opposite situations too. And these women all called themselves bi-sexual after that. It didn't mean that any guy other than her husband ever would have a chance to have a relationship or sex with her. I got to know several of these husbands in coversation, and not a one of them was interested in other women or men, just her and quite comfortable with the idea.
So in your situation, it may be that initially when hormones came into the picture, the first attractions he ever felt and has until now were for guys.
What I can't say is whether that means he will only have an attraction to you or if over time he will develop attraction to other females and choose to have several males and females that he is in close relationship with.
Before talking to him about whats going on inside of him, you have to be clear how you feel currently about this. You may be under shock and may feel differently in time. But for right now, can you handle knowing he finds you sexually attractive, wants to date but also is attracted to and might want to date guys? Just because lets say you agree to date him and he becomes a great boyfriend, this doesnt mean you can tell him that he can no longer pursue any guy he is attracted to and try to deny that part of his sexuality.
So it means you have to be okay with the fact that he may end up with other sweethearts too.
In this situation of one being bi-sexual or in heterosexual polyamory of more than one love, it is a very hard concept for many grown adults to get their minds around and be able to truly be comfortable living out. I was in that poly community with my ex. Thats how I know of these other people and their sexuality. If older adults failed at emotionally handling it, (I witnessed lots of crash and burns/broken hearts) then its even harder, when the person is younger, say if you're teen or college age.
But two mature individuals can make it work. It takes a lot of trust. Disease is an ever present issue so there would have to be ground rules and you'd have to known who he has for his other partners, nothing done in secret secrets are equivalent to cheating/breaking the rules...etc. Thats a hornets nest you may not want to get involved in even thinking about but you still need to say something to him.
Perhaps you could say something like:
" it seems to me that you are having attraction now to not just guys but females now, at least in me. I know it's possible for people to be bi sexual and you might be."
Then depending on how you feel: 'So lets talk about it." or "But I am not ready to even begin thinking about that possibility yet and how I fit in the picture so can you give me some time? Lay off the romantic gestures and we'll still be friends, Okay?"
Or course, use your own words. Good luck dear.
i met a boy in my college function .he was senior to me .but my coparing is made with him luckly.he show liking for me on stage in front of whole audiance.i know he is flirty boy .he has girlfriend in past.i did not response him.he tried little to convince me but i did not say a word.now what i do.i am in 3 year and he is in 4year.i face him daily in college.tell me what i do.
The difference of your age and year in college should not even go into the equation of whether or not two people are right for each other.
I can't tell you what to do cus I don't know how you feel about him. If you are not interested in him, or any other male who ever approaches you during your lifetime and show interest in you, you need to let the guy know verbally, with words, that you have no interest in him in return. If you do not respond in any way at all, many guys will see that as still encouragement to them to continue to try because you did not say No. Until you say no, the possibility still exists in their minds to win you over.
If you are interested in getting to know the guy better, then giving no response might send him the message that you are notnd that after it being place in the first time. interested and he may give up and go looking elsewhere. So if you really are attracted to him, then you have to give some encouragement by smiling at him and talking to him and learning what girls can do to show a guy they are interested by flirting, usually innocent touches, like touching their arm while talking to them, pretend to pick an eyelash off his cheek, showing your interest by how comfortable you are being close to him, within his personal space.
I have an itchy clitoris. There is a thrush like discharge from that area. I think my urine is also acrid. I have also just finished a course of antibiotics. any views
If the antibiotics were not issues for a vaginal infection or UTI, it may have contributed to the current problem. If it was a prescription for a UTI or vaginal infection, then it did not work and you need to try another. Go see your doctor.