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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Well I was sexualy abused I asked a question about this before I took the advise told my teacher and my family knows well I needa talk to someone have a hug and just talk I like it when I do with my teacher I feel conftable I don't want to with my family or friends tho I feel as if no1 cares my teacher used to talk to me nd she asked me 2 chat to her sometime but never spoke to me again well not about this anyway and I feel so safe when she hugs and talks to me how can I just get her to talk to me again ?
Talking about sexual abuse is something that can make people uncomfortable. For you talking about it is comforting as you know the person listening is a caring person. Your teacher did her job when you did as was suggested and went to her and explained what happened to you. Now must likely she would like to put this uncomfortable situation behind both you and her. Unfortunately this is of no help to you as you need to talk about what has happened and be comforted while doing so. She may not be comfortable talking about this with you and is not really qualified to help you.
If I was one of the advisers who gave you advice I may also have recommended you contact an organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. If you were asked to call them and have not already done so I believe you should. They operate a 24/7 hotline you can call to talk with people who will listen and give you advice. They will also offer to find people in your home town to help you deal with what has happened to you.
Being sexually abused or assaulted by your brother in-law is not something you can just shove to the back of your mind and try to forget about. You need to deal with it with trained professionals who can help you deal with this in the proper manner so that it does not ruin you for life.
You may need some type of closure for what has happened. Closure is different for each of us. If what has happened to you has not been reported to the police and this is something you feel should happen. The professionals you are referred to will help you with this. IT could be all you want is an acknowledgement from him to you and the rest of the family that yes he did do this to you and an apology to you. This too is something the professionals can help you with.
To get this help you need to ask for it just as you asked your teacher for help. Please call 1-800-656-HOPE. Talk with the volunteer who answers your call. They will listen and they will help you. If it were possible to take you into their arms and hug you over the phone they would do that too.
do a virgin get pregnant at first sexual intercourse?
I don't know where boys got the line; "you can't get pregnant your first time," but I think it has been around since the time of Adam and Eve.
If you have your started period that means you ovulate. If you ovulate you are producing eggs. Eggs plus sperm equal baby it is just that simple. It matters not if it is your first, second, third or hundredth sexual experience. If you are not using birth control you are playing Russian Roulette with a fully loaded pistol. If you are ovulating at that time you will be come pregnant.
16/f
So many times on here I have written about being shy at college and to get advice for it. The shyness is gradually going away and I am confident enough to speak up in class.
However, now I do speak up, the teacher keeps embarrasing me, saying really rude sexual jokes about me 'atracting' this other mega quiet boy in the class and 'getting it on'.
The whole class found this hilareous of course because I'm rather quiet. I had no choice but to laugh it off, but how are you supposed to deal with a sitation like this if it keep arising?
A teachers job is to nurture not embarrass or humiliate, especially with sexual undertones.
You're 16 and in College so I'm guessing you are either very smart or from England where your College is our High School. If I'm correct and you are in what we call high school then this falls to your parents to correct.
I'm confident that no matter what school system you are in that the administration will take a dim view of a teacher making sexual jokes and embarrassing a student. This is not a way to motivate a student.
Being 16 the school system would probably not give your complaint as much thought as if the complaint was to come form your parents. You see when a parent complains they have access to avenues to follow up with their complaint that a student doesn't have. Therefore the administrators must take their complaints more seriously.
I realize be shy will make it just as hard for you to go to your parents and tell them what has happened or is happening. Though this is what you must do if you wish to have this stopped. So muster up all your courage and tell them. You have every right to go to school and learn without being harassed by student or teacher.
I am a 43 year old female,my boyfriend is 40..when we are getting physical he cannot keep an erection..He will get hard for about 10 min and then starts to go soft..Is there anything i can do to help fix this...Its driving me crazy
While I am not a doctor and cannot make a medical diagnoses I believe your boyfriend needs to visit his doctor.
If your boyfriend is not on medications such as blood pressure medications or antidepressant medications, which are known to interfere with a man ability to get and maintain an erection. Then the problem could be something else, such as low "T" or low Testosterone as it is called. Your boyfriend is at the age where low "T" may be the problem. Men after reaching the age of 30 start to lose testosterone. A simple blood test will tell the if low "T" or something else is the problem.
If nothing else is the problem his doctor may prescribe Viagra or a product like it to remedy the problem. But first things first your boyfriend needs to visit his doctor and report the problem. This is not an uncommon problem for a man his age and he should not be embarrassed to speak with his doctor about it as this also could be a sign of some other problem that needs to be addressed medically such as high blood pressure.
So I'm 13 and so is this guy I like he is also 13.he touches me every where my boobs my pussy and my butt.he says that he would fuck me any time any where and any place.he does this all in class. He has also gotten hard right in front of my face in front of class.he said that he wants to fuck me and that if I don't have sex with him that he would rape me in the end of the school year before we go to high school.Well he just makes me so horny that I just wanna have sex with him ?what should I do,he makes me get wet and makes me get on top of his body.whatshould I do ? Should I just lose it already?
I'm not sure what mercury is talking about, though is he/she is correct you need to talk to a therapist for you should not be having these types of fantasies. One day you will try to act them out and you will be seriously hurt possibly hurt to the point you do not survive to see another day. Rape is not a fantasy it is a sick hurtful thing done to harm someone beyond what you can imagine.
Now if you are serious about having sex at 13 you still need to speak to someone as you are way to young to be think about this. Your body may be capable but you are not mature enough to be having adult sexual relations. The harm you will do to yourself having sex at this early an age is irrefutable. Talk to your parents about getting some serious mental health treatment.
Ok so I was playing football and it bent my finger backwards and I got it x-rayed and I have a 1.1mm fracture (a broken bone) and they put it in a splint for a week. It looks like a nail file attached to my finger with tape (nothing special) and I dont think it will heal within a week. Well will it? I know the docter said it would but I honestly dont trust him. Wont it still be broken? (Btw haha, I broke my middle finger) =P
Welcome to the middle finger club. I broke that finger also probably when I was about your age. The recommendation from the doctor was to keep the hand elevated at all times to keep the swelling down. Talk about freaking out each and every teacher I had. I'm sure now that I'm older and can reflect on it, that I could have found away to sit in class without being so obvious. But heck I was 14 or 15 at the time and being able to sit in class and give the one finger salute and get away with it was priceless.
To answer your question. The healing begins almost immediately. As to how long you will need to keep the splint on can vary from 1 to 6 weeks depending an how badly the fracture is and how fast you heal
Hey my dad is very mean he says I have my head in my ass a lot and puts me down . I make pretty good grades but he always says I'm a dumbass and tells me I will be digging ditches the rest off my life what should I say or do ?
I like what NinjaNeer said to you it is not only meaningful it has a great deal of truth to it.
Fathers and sons can have very strange relationships especially when the sons are younger. Most fathers see their jobs in raising their sons as preparing them for manhood. While this is true some of us go about it in all the wrong manner. It sounds to me as if your father has chosen the wrong manner in which to motivate you by putting you down rather than praising what you accomplish.
I know how this feel as I spent my entire childhood and a good part of my adult life trying to live up to my fathers standards. Then one day I woke up and realized I was far more successful then my father ever was. No I was not rich, but I was successful in my career and stood out from my peers earning the praise of my employer.
You do not have to wait until you get to my age to learn what I did. Your father is not going to change you have to. If you are doing the best that you know how and your teachers are satisfied with your work then you are successful in what you are doing. The change you need to make is how you interact with you dad. When he rants and raves you need to become a duck and let his ranting just roll of you like water off a ducks back.
This is hard to do I know as you want your dad to be proud of you. In his own way he is, but he wants you to live up to a standard that he has set that may not be possible. It may be a standard that he himself could never live up too, which is a root problem.
If mom cannot intercede then maybe talking with your teachers and telling them what is happening at home will help. Part of what you are saying equates to child abuse and if the teachers agree there is something they can do. It is up to you to decide if you want the teachers or your school principal to intercede.
so im 11 and my mom and stepdad are gettin a divorece becuase of me my stepdad says hes giving up on me cuz i dont like him. I have not really liked him the whole 7 years theve been married. And i got in trouble with cops becuase i feel so angry becuase my mom wont listin when i try to talk to her about it. I have cut too and cuz of my stepdad threatining to puch me and hurt me in ways my mom is too in love with him too see it what should i do???
First I don't think your step-dad is leaving your mom because of you. I think he is using you as an excuse and as a way to hurt you and your mom. This is so wrong of him I just don't know where to begin telling you how wrong he is.
People divorce for any number of reasons none of which concern the children or are because of children. He knew where he stood with you before he married your mother. To know say 7 years later that he is leaving because of you is nothing more than a bold face lie on his part. He has other reasons for leaving and is to much of a coward to tell you mother or you why. So he is placing the blame on you. This is so wrong.
Now what to do about it. First we need to have you stop cutting yourself because I don't want you really hurting yourself. Until you can get help for this what I would like you to do is try something that might help and is safer than cutting and you can do anywhere anytime you feel the need.
Find a big thick rubber band. Place the rubber band loosely around your wrist. When you feel the need to cut snap the rubber band against your wrist instead. Like I said you can do this anywhere, at school, on the bus, at home and it should give you the same relief cutting does with out the danger.
Next;Your step-dad threatening to punch you and hurt you is child abuse which is unlawful. I understand you can't tell your mother or expect protection from her. If there is no grandparent or Aunt or Uncle you can turn to for help then you should go to a trusted teacher and tell him or her or your school principal about these threats and that they scare you.
As I said child abuse of any kind is unlawful and his threatening to punch you and harm you is child abuse. His reason for leaving your mom to my mind is also abusive towards you but the experts would have to determine that. Once you tell a teacher or the principal there are laws in place that they must follow to protect you.
The laws I am speak of are designed to protect children from child abuse. As long as you are truthful with the people who are obligated to enforce these laws you will be protected and no harm can come to you.
okhay, so me and my boyfriend dont wanna have sex yet we wanna wait. but he likes to rub his penis on my vagina and it went in alittle bit like the tip did. did i lose my virginity does that count?
In the pure technical sense the answer would be yes as his penis did penetrate your vagina. Penile penetration of the vagina is considered intercourse. Once the vagina is penetrated by a penis it is considered having intercourse and you are no longer a virgin.
As i said that is the technical sense. For a more modern sense if you were not penetrated far enough to break your Hyman then you are still a virgin.
I've been feeling hungry all the time lately. I'll eat lunch and feel really full, and then an hour later i'll feel hungry again. its really annoying. why could this be?
17/f
There are many reasons this could be happening. Something could have caused a change in you metabolism. This could be caused by a change in puberty, exercise, diet, medications (including birth control meds), stress and a number of other things.
None of us are doctors so it is not possible for any of us to give you a definitive answer to this question.
Having parented a 17 year old who was at the time a senior in high school. I would bet on one of three things if new medication(s) is not being taken. 1)Stress from preparing for graduation and waiting for answers from Colleges, 2)changes in hormones of puberty as in being at the end of you puberty years and 3) being more active then you have been something you may not even notice.
In any case, even if it is one of the above you should check in with your doctor as this is a change the doctor may wish to monitor at least through the summer if you are planning to go away to college in the fall.
What can I do for I wanna die
Suicide is not an answer to a problem. Whatever is causing you to think this way can be worked out with the right type of help. Finding the right type of help is the real problem and you are hurting because you haven't found it or it is being kept from you. I speak from experience as I suffer from chronic pain and until I found the right type of help suicide did look like the answer.
Please call this number 1-800-273-TALK. The is the National Suicide Prevention Hotline which is open 24/7. The people there will talk to you for as long as you need to talk and will help you find people who CAN help you.
If by chance you are the victim of Rape, Incest or Abuse there is an organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Incest Abuse, National Network. They too operate a 24/7 hotline at : 1-800-656-HOPE. The people her will talk with you and help you with whatever may have happened, how to handle what has happened, and help you find the proper people in your home town to help you.
Their is no problem to big that a solution can not be found. Please before you do something that will not only hurt you but people who truly love you call one of the numbers I gave you. You can also call 911 for help or go to the nearest hospital emergency room. You will not be turned away if you tell them you are suicidal.
Can a persons body really self-abort if theres something wrong with the pregnancy?
My sister got pregnant even though her tubes are tied. The baby was somewere it wasn't suppoesed to be and She was going to have surgery, cause they said they have to take the baby out or she will die. But she said that she went to the restroom and the egg or whatever just came out and it looked like a big blood clot. Does this really happen?
Yes it does happen for a variety of reasons. It is felt that when this happens, it is called a miscarriage, it is because the fetus is not viable and the body rejects it.
Your sister stills needs to see her Gynecologist to make sure the entire fetus was ejected. That no after birth or anything is left behind that needs surgical removal.
This involves the unauthorised use of a credit card. I hav admitted to the offence to the owner of card and Hav paid the sum back. Other party does not wish to press charges but police hav requested I giv a formal statement. Do I hav to if no charges are going to be laid.I am from Australia
Not knowing the laws in Australia it is hard to answer this question. I would think if you have laws against self incrimination you could not be forced to make that kind of statement. Here in the USA we could not be forced to make that kind of statement.
My suggestion is that you check with a Lawyer before making any type of incriminating statement to the police.
I only tested after 11 months of possible exposure where my results came back as negative. However i have been experiencing these symptoms including headaches, skin rashes, night sweets and swollen umpits. Is it possible i tested negative because my body had neutralised the virus at the time of the test as i am a sports person leaving a healthy and clean life. This is my 12th month and i am experincing a burning sensation in my male part which i suspect to be herpes. I will be going for an hiv test this Saturday, so could i be positive.
At the present time all the science say what your asking is not possible. What is more possible is the symptoms you are experiencing is more mind over matter.
The mind is a very powerful organ. While you may not have the actual disease to go with the symptoms you could actually will the symptoms on yourself. The best thing though is to have the symptoms checked out by a doctor.
You have had negative tests in the past and most likely this test will be negative as well. The chances that you contracted HIV get smaller with each negative test. Be diligent in choosing your sex partners and do not have unprotected sex of any type to avoid this type of worry in the future.
Be truthful with your doctor as to the types sex you engage in and your over all sex life. Your doctor will then be able to better tell you how often in the future you need to be tested. Remember everything you tell your doctor is confidential and remains with your doctor unless you give your written permission to release any information. You have had this protection since you obtained the age of 14.
Please remember none of us are doctors. The advice we give is that of a layperson. For the best and most trusted advice will always come from a medical professional.
Working on a menu for a red, white, and blue party. I have plenty of ideas for red and white foods, but I need some blue foods besides blueberries.
To add to your list you could try
Cup cakes with Blue Icing
Use a white cake mix and ad blue food coloring to make a blue cake then if you want you can use a different shade of blue to ice it with.
There are a number of both alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages that can be made that are blue as well.
Freeze ice cubes with the non alcoholic beverages so as not to water down any of the beverages with plain ice.
My husband and I have had a trip planned with our friends to go to Cancun in May for months. My mother informed me yesterday that she has airfare miles she wants to use and is planning a vacation to Cancun as well because it is such a good deal. The only problem is she is planning to go the same exact time as me. I am really upset about her lack of consideration. Am I crazy, or is this completely rude of her?
No your not crazy and it is intrusive of you mother to plan her vacation as to join you without first asking. As for it being rude of her, well that really depends on the answers to some questions you haven't written about that is why I said intrusive.
I had my parents intrude on a vacation my wife and I planned. Fortunately we were able to do things that they were either unable to do, unwilling to do or not interested in so my wife and I were able to get some alone time. Also a word to the hotel prior to arrival put them on the opposite side of the hotel from us and gee there was just no rooms available near each other upon check in, imagine that.
Trying to talk your mother out of going with you on your vacation will only cause hard feelings. Somewhere she got it in her head that you would not mind her being with you and your friends. So the best thing to do is try and set some ground rules before you leave as to what events mom may be welcome at. These might include events such as meals and sightseeing. After dinner activities that are not group activities; that anyone at the hotel can buy into, are activities that are just for you and your friends. She will need to find her own evening entertainment.
While you are working this out with mom you also have the opportunity to remind her that she is intruding on a long planned vacation with friends and you had wished she had asked first. If it is possible for her to change her plans maybe she will take the hint. In any case if she agrees to the ground rules your vacation should not be ruined totally if at all.
18/f
I had unprotected sex 2 days before the end of my period on 3/17/12 & i stopped taking my birth control because i went away for 21 days and wasnt able to get them. I decided to just stop taking them, and now my period is late. Is this because i stopped taking birth control and now its irregular, or is there a chance that i could be pregnant?
Anything is possible with what you are describing. The best thing to do is to take a home pregnancy test. If it is positive see a doctor. If it is negative wait two weeks and take it again.
my last period stopped about 3 days ago and today me and my boyfriend had sex and the condom ripped x:
i'm going to get the morning-after pill tomorrow.
is this going to help? and i think the chances that i'm pregnant are pretty low anyways because i havent eaten anything in two days and my last period just stopped ._. furthermore my boyfriend was a little drunk while we had sex .. x:
but what do you think?
Your chances of getting pregnant depend on when during your cycle you ovulate. For most women that is around the 14th day of their cycle though each women is different.
The fact that you have not eaten or that your boyfriend was drunk has nothing to do with whether or not you will get pregnant. The morning after pill taken as directed, which is within 48 hours after sex is very effective. It has been known to be effective for as much as 7 days after sex but its effectiveness decrease the longer you wait after having unprotected sex.
There is one other thing you should be concerned about since the condom broke. That is STDs. You should be tested just to make sure. In fact if you have never been tested you should be as condoms do not protect against all STDs.
I'm a male
So my girlfriend has been trying to get me off with her hands and mouth.. but I can't orgasm when she does it..
I noticed when i masturbate i lay down my feet kind of go farther then shoulder length apart.. and i tense up in the legs, more of a flexing of my muscles..
When I am standing up i can only if i get more on the tips of my toes and my muscles in the legs are flexing again..
Now i am very self conscious about this and have low self esteem and stuff.. I was wondering if this is normal.. and if i should tell her that is how i am or what i can do to be more "normal" I have seen porn and those guys just seem to be flat footed and stuff and just shoot it like nothing. I feel very embarrassed for even asking this, what do i do?
Do i tell her and how do i do that? Im not sure if it bothers her but it bothers me that i can't orgasm when she pleasures me and i'm not sure what to do about sex.. we haven't gone that far yet but i assume we will soon..
Any help is appreciated!
First there is nothing wrong with you. Trying to ejaculate while standing up is uncomfortable and to mind unnatural.
Yes you should talk to your partner when having sex of any type and your partner should talk to you. You should tell each other what your likes and dislikes are so you both experience the maximum amount of pleasure from your sex lives.
Communication is the key to almost anything we do. In sex it is the absolute key to enjoyment. we listen to our partners to hear them moan and groan as we make love. This is a key signal that we are doing something right. Not all partners are that oral in their pleasure so communicating before and after is important.
Frankly if you are going to get naked with each other communicating your likes or dislikes should not be embarrassing. Also what you see in porn movies is staged. Cum shots are staged to give the effect the director wants and not always a direct a result of the action preceding the shot.
Recently i just got a canker sore, i have had it for a day or two or something close to that time frame.
I have a girlfriend and we have kissed everyday even the days i have had it because i would forget about it but now since it hurts a little more i keep thinking i gave her it.. I believe it is a Canker sore not a Cold sore.
Anyways did i give her it? Will she get it soon? Also we perform oral sex.. we were going to this weekend.. should we wait or is it safe to do that? Also should we not kiss ?
I need advice ASAP since it is tuesday and i'm not sure how i tell her this..
Below is a lift I took from WEBMD. It tells you how to tell the difference between a cold sore and a Canker sore.
Are Cold Sores Another Name for Canker Sores?
No, although cold sores and canker sores are often confused for each other, they are not the same. Cold sores, also called a fever blister or herpes simplex type 1, are groups of painful, fluid-filled blisters. Unlike canker sores, cold sores are caused by a virus and are extremely contagious. Also, cold sores typically appear outside the mouth - usually, under the nose, around the lips, or under the chin while canker sores occur inside the mouth.
What Are the Symptoms of Canker Sores?
You may have a canker sore if you have:
A painful sore or sores inside your mouth - on the tongue, soft palate (the back portion of the roof of your mouth), or inside your cheeks
A tingling or burning sensation prior to the appearance of the sores
Sores in your mouth that are round, white, or gray in color, with a red edge or border
In severe canker sore attacks, you may also experience:
Fever
Physical sluggishness
Swollen lymph nodes
If the sore, according to what is written above, is outside your mouth then the sore may be herpes. Which strain is hard to say without being tested. Follow DangerNerds advise to make certain you are not infected.