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Mother Hijacking Vacation
My husband and I have had a trip planned with our friends to go to Cancun in May for months. My mother informed me yesterday that she has airfare miles she wants to use and is planning a vacation to Cancun as well because it is such a good deal. The only problem is she is planning to go the same exact time as me. I am really upset about her lack of consideration. Am I crazy, or is this completely rude of her?
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No your not crazy and it is intrusive of you mother to plan her vacation as to join you without first asking. As for it being rude of her, well that really depends on the answers to some questions you haven't written about that is why I said intrusive.
I had my parents intrude on a vacation my wife and I planned. Fortunately we were able to do things that they were either unable to do, unwilling to do or not interested in so my wife and I were able to get some alone time. Also a word to the hotel prior to arrival put them on the opposite side of the hotel from us and gee there was just no rooms available near each other upon check in, imagine that.
Trying to talk your mother out of going with you on your vacation will only cause hard feelings. Somewhere she got it in her head that you would not mind her being with you and your friends. So the best thing to do is try and set some ground rules before you leave as to what events mom may be welcome at. These might include events such as meals and sightseeing. After dinner activities that are not group activities; that anyone at the hotel can buy into, are activities that are just for you and your friends. She will need to find her own evening entertainment.
While you are working this out with mom you also have the opportunity to remind her that she is intruding on a long planned vacation with friends and you had wished she had asked first. If it is possible for her to change her plans maybe she will take the hint. In any case if she agrees to the ground rules your vacation should not be ruined totally if at all.
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It sounds like your mom needs to find some friends of her own instead of inviting herself to do things with you and your friends.
She should have at least asked you, first, if it would be okay with you if she were to go.
I think you're just going to have to be kindly assertive and explain that this is a vacation among your husband and your friends and you kind of need your privacy because you all plan to let your hair down and get a little wild.
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