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Hey my dad is very mean he says I have my head in my ass a lot and puts me down . I make pretty good grades but he always says I'm a dumbass and tells me I will be digging ditches the rest off my life what should I say or do ?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I like what NinjaNeer said to you it is not only meaningful it has a great deal of truth to it.
Fathers and sons can have very strange relationships especially when the sons are younger. Most fathers see their jobs in raising their sons as preparing them for manhood. While this is true some of us go about it in all the wrong manner. It sounds to me as if your father has chosen the wrong manner in which to motivate you by putting you down rather than praising what you accomplish.
I know how this feel as I spent my entire childhood and a good part of my adult life trying to live up to my fathers standards. Then one day I woke up and realized I was far more successful then my father ever was. No I was not rich, but I was successful in my career and stood out from my peers earning the praise of my employer.
You do not have to wait until you get to my age to learn what I did. Your father is not going to change you have to. If you are doing the best that you know how and your teachers are satisfied with your work then you are successful in what you are doing. The change you need to make is how you interact with you dad. When he rants and raves you need to become a duck and let his ranting just roll of you like water off a ducks back.
This is hard to do I know as you want your dad to be proud of you. In his own way he is, but he wants you to live up to a standard that he has set that may not be possible. It may be a standard that he himself could never live up too, which is a root problem.
If mom cannot intercede then maybe talking with your teachers and telling them what is happening at home will help. Part of what you are saying equates to child abuse and if the teachers agree there is something they can do. It is up to you to decide if you want the teachers or your school principal to intercede.
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My mother always told me that you either do something because of someone else or in spite of them. This is a case where you do something in spite of someone.
The best thing you can do is say nuts to what your father thinks and show him what you can do. Use his nastiness as fuel and show him up with your success. It's just a matter of turning around what he says and using it to empower you, not to belittle you.
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I'm really sorry that you have to go through that. Just ignore what he says and prove him wrong. Don't give him any reason to doubt that you're doing the best you can. In the end of the day, you should just be proud of doing the best you can and maybe one day he'll realize how much of a jerk he is being.
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