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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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i read your answer about the icon music series and i saw what you wrote in the private message i sent you but it is not what i had in mind i said that was a question on this website that had no answer so what i am saying you should be the first to answer it its not that hard to find you ll find it its called How to Contact the Icon Music Series and let me know what your answer is when you do .

Did you ever stop to wonder why no one else answered your question you posted called
"How to Contact the Icon Music series"? There are often questions that don't get answers because we can't find any info to provide the person asking or we are not sure what they are asking.

Young people with i phones but no computer are contacting us more and more asking us to find links to websites or do web searches for them instead of asking for actual advice with a real problem. I try to help when I can but that was not the original intent behind the creation of any advice column on the internet. Advice is another perspective given to a person having trouble figuring out a decision or a solution to a problem in life and they are looking for input from other people to help them in making a decision. We don't make decisions for them. Neither do we have to look up weblinks for those without a computer.

Even if I did have an answer, a phone number or email for you to use to contact them, it wouldn't matter if I put it right here in the private message or in your original post. Sorry but I am not going to take any more time with this.

i read your answer to Aspergers famous people and i saw that you wrote Diffentablity i like that i just wish that everyone would accept and respect that becuase i hate it when people try to make them feel ashamed of themselves for being different and not following social norms im just sick of it also Autism should be treated really fairly and tolerated along with Aspergers calling somebody stupid for it is just plain wrong also telling them that they different from those dont have it is another thing i hate becuase they dont care and i dont care becuase people who do that are trying to make everybody the same and thats not good .

You're right, we can't force everyone to fit into a certain box. It's as stupid as 'one size fits all' clothing...cus they never fit me...hahaha

I first heard the term differently abled through a childrens musical group Tickle Toon Typhoon. They happened to perform at the local Library or Public pool meeting room and this was long ago, late 80s early 90's when my 3 girls were little and I took them to events like this.

Here's an old video of them and the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LmA5GwuCsM

I was raising the daughters to be kind and inclusive of others, not see anyone as different than them or to be teased or shunned.
And I can proudly say they all grew up to be people who accept others just as they are, their very overweight friends, their ADD or Asperger friends, any other races, their gay friends, those with different beliefs or religions, etc... the list goes on.

Rather than focus on the many who don't understand, focusing on finding those who do. Or perhaps find a way to reach and teach others about Aspergers. Schools used to try but are so under funded and cant afford to bring in special speakers to teach at a time it is crucial for young people to learn. Perhaps start a blog of your own to share with living with Aspergers is like and hints for how kids without it can interact with those who do. Good luck and enjoy the video.

My besr guy friend of four years and I like each other. He asked me out but I turned him down. This was after he had sex because I got scared. I want to be with him too but hes too complicated. He has a kid. I dont mind but it makes me nervous? I have been avoiding him in a way and he told me not to dissappear on him that he misses me. Then I told him I missed him too. Then he said "only know you love them when you let them go". Is this reffering to me loving him becuase I let him go? Or is it him referring to himself. That he is realizing how much he cares after I rejected him? And I asked him what he meant by that but he wouldnt tell me. Now im just confused.

You turned him down after he had sex

If there's no typo's there, then the question is "who did he have sex with, another girl or you?"

There are lots of guys who are in love with girls who only see them as a close friend and can't see them as anything else. He gets stuck in the friendship zone. It's taken him a long time to ask you out, 4 years.

The only thing that seems to snap a girl out of the friendship zone to realise whether she loves the guy back and wants to be with him the rest of her life is to imagine that tomorrow he meets the girl of his dreams and they date and in 3 months are engaged and in another 3 married. His greater responsibility is now to this woman. He is not going to have much time for you as a friend. In fact, if she can't handle the fact that his best friend is a female, then he likely may not see you again. When it gets to that point, there's no returing to what you have now.

So the question to you is, can you give him up that easily. I realise you might be sad if you couldn't see him. Maybe you can handle not seeing and spending time with him if it only lasted a month or maybe you can handle a year, but could you handle not being with him for the next 5 or 10 years? If you can't, you need to take a closer look, you might be in love with him. It doesnt have to be the big fireworks some relationships feel hot sparks in the beginning. It can be a glowing ember that slowly starts a fire going. That kind of love sneaks up on you.

I can't say for sure if he was referring to himself or you, but since I believe he is already sure of what he feels, more likely he was referring to you.

i am posting this to Dragonflymagic hoping she gets this as a private question anyway um i was hoping that you can be one of the people answer the question i asked last year called How to Contact the Icon Music Series becuase nobody has answered it so if you do get this in your advice colum can you please answer the other question i was talking about thank you .

I never heard of "Icon Music Series". So I put it in an on line search and the first thing listed is:
www.facebook.com/ICONMusicSeries

There's something about a CD giveaway but nothing that looked like a contact site.

If you have only a phone and no computer, I suggest you go to the local library to use a computer there to do the research yourself.

Just put in a search for Icon Music Series.

I have Aspergers. It makes me feel weird to know I am handicapped. Are there any famous people who have overcome this to do great things with their life?

Here's a link to 38 people with photos who have been diagnosed or unofficially believe they have it.

http://www.ranker.com/list/famous-people-with-aspergers-syndrome/celebrity-lists?format=SLIDESHOW&page=12

All people have to deal with some kind of thing that is a challenge for them. some are visually challenged such as myself, other's have social anxiety/shyness to overcome, some are blind, deaf, or have other disabilities or handicaps.

I find both words sound kind of limiting to me. They suggest that things could be extremely difficult perhaps to the point of not being able to do the same thing as others. If you view yourself this way, then your mind is going to do most the limiting for you by believing you can't, or its too hard to even bother trying.

I personally like the term "Differently-abled". This suggests that you can have all the same successes that anyone else can, that you just have a different way of getting there.

Ok I hv realised that I dont want to date anyone in my country.I want an online guy..is it possible or imi crazy..I'm pretty and kind. I hv been told so..I'm 15

If you want to make friends with guys from other countries on line, you should be able to do that through many different on line venues and here's one for the UK and other parts of Europe
www.teenspot.com/chat

Even dating someone from your own country but through long distance is hard. It isn't going to help you at your age to learn much needed skills in learning about dating someone of the opposite sex. At 15, you are no where near ready to be looking for a life time partner. If two people fall for each other on line, many consider that dating but it is not technically a 'dating relationship'

Here's what Wikipedia says about dating:
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple out in public.

My opinion is that the greatest success of finding some who really cares about you and has no hidden nasty surprises is to be able to date in person, not on line. On line dating is flat two dimensional and its easy for the other to lie to you. There is no real opportunity to gain trust and intimacy with that person. So finding a guy who is local just for practicing your dating skills as far as determining whether a guy makes good relationship material is the best option. Even I have met guys on line. Most were local and I'd meet within a week if they sounded promising on line. In a couple cases I met guys who lived far away but I still did take it to the meet in person stage after 1 to 2 months, no longer. The longer its online, the more opportunity for it to turn into nothing more than a fantasy because your mind has to imagine to fill in the spaces that are missing from lack of in person,face to face dating.

You never did say why you realised you don't want to date someone from your own country. It may sound like a good solid reason to you. But if it's simply cus you like guys with accents, that's no reason to lose out on practicing dating techniques with local guys. If you like accents, then put that on a list of wants and needs in a guy but make sure you learn how to spot all the other stuff first, like how well he treats a girl and the best way to learn is in person...not on line. Learn now so that after you turn 18 and are an adult, you can go on dating sites and state what you are looking for in a guy and add the fact that you like an accent.

my dad hates me so i cut myself and im planing on killing myself how should i kill myself?

I am assuming you are still in your teen years. Teens brains, the prefrontal cortex doesnt finish maturing until our mid 20's so any decision making, weighing of consequences and skills with interacting and understanding other people will suffer greatly until we mature brain wise.

So my advice is to not plan to kill yourself just because you perceive dad to hate you. While you could be right and dad suffers from some major mental and emotional issues himself, what one person gets wrong should not make another person decide to give up on life.

Life is supposed to be full of hard things and challenges. If it was a cakewalk and easy, there would be no opportunities for us to discover some personal growth.
The challenge in life is to learn to rise above the hand of cards we've been dealt. There is help out there. the thing is knowing where to look and who to turn to.
Teens who cut are usually depressed and need to be on medication and in counseling. If you're not, you need to talk to the parents and let them know how you feel, they can't always tell by looking at you, what you're feeling inside. As a parent of 3, when they were teens, I was very involved in their lives and we talked often but as observant as I was, I still did not see that my oldest was depressed. There were no signs. She didn't even really know what the problem was herself until she experienced post partum depression after giving birth which made her condition lots worse and then she saw a doctor and was put on medication. If you are seeing a doctor and it hasn't helped, .often, its cus haven't found the right person yet...personalities can clash between patient and doctor too so if you don't have total trust in and click with your doctor, its not going to help.
If you feel you can't approach dad, then talk to a school counselor about your depression and feelings of suicide. If the situation at home is abusive towards you, they can get your help for that too. It's more common these days than you'd think and counselors handle this kind of stuff all the time, you won't be looked at as weird.
Reach out to someone for the help I know you want.

A person usually serious about ending their life doesn't ask how or announce to anyone what theyre thinking, they just do it.

I am a 15 year old girl and I got my period for the first time when I was 13. I have never used a tampon before... because it's scary and really gross. I tried once last year when I was 14 and almost passed out, I try to relax but putting stuff "up there" absolutely disgusts me... it feels weird even trying to find the hole and thinking about it makes me feel a little nauseous right now. I haven't tried to again since. What do I do :(

You're still young. Learn to become comfortable with your private parts at a pace you are comfortable with. You find it scary and gross because it's something new but this is a part of you and will be for the rest of your life.
So learning proper care of your private parts, what it looks like, what is a normal odor for it and what is not is helpful in case you get any infections.
There's no reason to use a tampon unless you are on a swim team or plan to go swimming at the beach.
From puberty on, you will be on a path of sexual discovery about yourself. Instead of avoiding anything to do about your privates, study about them, use a mirror to look at yourself, touch yourself, even at later stages when ready, to smell yourself and taste yourself. You can't hurt yourself by exploring the vagina with your fingers, just make sure you've washed your hands.

People are creatures of habit and don't take well to changes. Change IS scary so I understand. The first time I gave myself an orgasm accidently, I had no idea what it was. It scared the crap out of me so badly I didn't masturbate for another year or two.

So I suggest you at least do the studies now, even if you're not ready for self exploration. You can find information on line to self teach. And there are good you tube videos out there too. advice to teens. Their section on sex and period related topics for girls has 32 articles. Here' the link.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/

If you want any more links, let me know.

Well,I date this new boy & he cute (chris brown) look alike.Umm,but i barely start dating him & he already starting to go alil too far..What should i do?

Believe it or not, the guys worth having for a boyfriend will honor your setting boundaries and saying no. Just heard from a girl who said her guy loved her all the more because she said she wanted to wait on anything in the romance and sex department. She just wanted to develop friendship first. And thats the way to do it.

Your guy is not a mind reader so you need to communicate verbally and not feel bad to have your own standards. Do not apologize for what you like and don't like and what your limits are. If a guy can't accept you with those limits, then he is not worth having. Do not let any guy 'talk you into' doing something you don't want just to keep him. There's plenty better fish in the sea. Everytime you allow a guy to get away with what "HE" wants, without any consideration for your feelings, then you send a message that you are "Desperate" and therefore will put up with any kind of nasty behavior from him. He will actually be trained by desperate girls throwing themselves at a guy to become more selfish and lazy and controlling etc.... If a guy doesn't have to work hard and learn how to treat a lady well to 'get the girl', then there's nothing forcing him to learn to become a better man.
So make your stand dear. Tell him you're not comfortable with that, go into detail of what you will tolerate from him and not and get him to promise to follow your wishes, and if he won't, dump him immediately.
An FYI, males find confidence like that in a female even more attractive than looks. So become confident and you will attract the right guys.

Now please do not come up with that "You must have seen him before" shit, because I know I have NOT seen him in my life.

Anyway, I'm in this religion where my God helps me with all my problems. And I told Him that I've been very lonely, and then I wrote down everything I want in a boy. The first time I did this, I met the first boy. He was everything I asked for.

That night I had a dream about that exact boy. He had long, straight jet black hair. Snakebite piercings. Taller than me. Black clothing and black converse. the whole setting was white. And he was looking at something. I had a feeling we were at Walmart, and he was looking at the CD's. But I'm not completely sure.

The next dream, my dad was abusing me. And my mom was crying and begging him to stop. Then the exact same boy looked around the corner and began glaring and mumbling angrily at my dad.

The third dream, I was hanging out with this boy that I go to school with. And the boy kept glaring at him and following me everywhere I went. And I had asked for a boy who would feel the need to be with me all the time or would freak out.

Now that boy I dreamed about who goes to my school asked me to be his again. And I agreed. And after that I hadn't had dreams about the boy again. Last night, that boy was being really disrespectful to his mom, so I began having doubts on if I should be with him. And last night I had a dream where he was crying on the picnic table, and I noticed that boy I asked for sitting on the other picnic table, and could feel him staring at me. I was walking away with my English teacher as I talked about Nicholas Sparks with her. That dream was really random as you can tell.

I had dreams about the first guy before. Had asked my God for him and the dreams came. And I met him. So what do these dreams mean? Is it possible I can meet this boy since I met the first one before?

I'm NOT trolling. I'm being serious. NO hate, just help with understanding these dreams.

I had a girlfriend at church in the past who told me she asked God for a guy and instead of in a dream, she was given details in messages from God while awake, the job he would have and what his name is too. And thats who she met. So who knows what is possible. I was told by God to make a list of what I was looking for (after a divorce) in a husband. I put needs, like having same beliefs, and wants like him wearing his hair long which is frosting on the cake but not totally necessary. Except for a couple of the 'wants', I got everything on my list. Both myself and the other gal did not have a visual before hand of what the guy would look like.

You had a request in prayer too. While at it, make it even more specific.
What's more important to you now, that you get a guy with the characteristics you asked for, or one that looks like what you have been repeatedly seeing in your dreams.
I ask because we can get pulled off track by what we see. A pretty package on the outside does not necessarily mean that what is inside is also very nice.
For dreaming sake, there has to be a face to characters in your dream. While asleep, your subconscious mind is in control.
The subconscious mind is where all our emotions and feelings are stored so these come to the surface in dreamland. So there must be at least some vague ideas you have in mind of what type of guy you'd visually find attractive and that often can represent itself in your dreams. It does not necessarily mean you will meet someone who looks exactly like that. However, there's always a slight chance that you could meet someone who does look like that but his character is bad and he is one who mistreats females. Don't just assume. Ask God questions along the way. Things you get in life and experience aren't just to make you happy. As souls we are going to face good but also plenty tough things in life that help to shape our souls into more like Gods image. A perfect life won't do that. And when we are younger and inexperienced yet, we tend to often make mistakes. So just be patient and wait to see what happens. I can't say exactly what your dreams mean.

I'm fifteen, a sophomore in high school, female, and pansexual.

Earlier in the school year (around Thanksgiving), one of my acquaintances broke off all contact with me. We've been in the same classes as each other for three years, but we never were friends in any sense until last fall. We became friends through classroom discussions, and he started flirting with me after I won a debate in US History. He was my first crush (in seventh grade), and I still like him, so I flirted back. He invited me to go to a movie with him, and I think he originally intended it to be a date, but then I thought I wouldn't be able to go, so he invited some other female friends before I found out that I could actually go. It was about a week later that he stopped talking to me.

I think I've figured out why we're not really acquaintances or friends anymore. He considers me to be more intelligent than average, so he was probably hoping that I'd be more mature than average too. And being socially awkward, inexperienced (he's the first person that has ever liked me in a non-platonic way to my knowledge), in a bit of a hormone storm, and fourteen years old, I proved to be incredibly immature. I think he is depressed, and if I'm correct, then it was when he became depressed that he reached the end of his rope with me, disappointed that I hadn't been more mature.

If I want to be friends with him, I need to apologize or show that I've realized the fault in my actions in some way. Which is hard, because I don't have too many opportunities to talk to him in person. He unfriended me on Facebook, and he'll probably interpret another message from me as clingy and insecure (like my last one) or flirty. How can I communicate with him and come off as independent, platonically oriented, and sincere? I want to express that I care about him as a person and will support him if he needs a friend.

So from how I interpret your letter, I can safely assume that your non acceptance of the invite to the movie is not what has him upset or what you feel you need to apologize for, is that correct.
I do not know what you said that would cause him to unfriend you on Facebook and stop talking to you.

Lots of teens at this age take what others say and what they say themselves, way too seriously. I really can't tell you if you did something that is a typical common social blunder for prospective dating relationships or current ones. It could also be that you did nothing wrong at all and he is way too sensitive, interprets things wrong and you are assuming by his reactions that you did something wrong to earn this behavior from him. Hon, I really don't know...I don't have enough info here.

What I can tell you should help explaining why the majority of problems teens get into in life or with friends is most likely due to their brain not developing as fast as their body matures.

The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s.

Some teens may make better decisions and assumptions due to what they've learned at home or through other means, however for the most part, we all experience problems to some degree or another due to our brains not being done developing and maturing yet.

Yes, you may have female puberty hormones adding to the mix but usually those cause the woman to become extremely sad and weepy for no reason or easily irritated or upset or even really angry with emotional outbursts. And her angry outbursts for the most part are usually directed at other females, mom, sisters or girlfriends. If it were hormonal, you'd know it cus you'll have been doing this kind of behavior already with others. The fact that he is a guy has me wondering if your hormones were involved at all on this one.

Another thing, guys don't tend to brood long over emotional upsets or fights. Watch two guys have a knock down drag out and a short while later, the things that caused them to fight in the first place are long forgotten and they're all smiling and best friends again.

If he truly is upset with you still, it must be something going on internally with him due to other circumstances, not you or theres the chance that he wasn't looking at you as a non platonic friend and wants to date you as his girlfriend, that could affect him this way. No guy wants to end up in the friendship zone with a girl he wants to date. It's easier for a guy in that case to have no contact with her. Then again, you mentioned being pansexual, so does he know? If not and someone else told him and he can't handle that, that could account for him cutting off contact. Until you get a chance to talk to him, you're not going to know anything. I wouldn't plan any apologies until I know what exactly I am apologizing for (don't assume on this) and whether any apologies are due or not to begin with.

18/f

So my boyfriend is being very miserable lately. Some of his pets died in separate incidents which got him down.
Then he found out his dad could be closer to death than he thought (he has cancer and has had for a while-the dad)

I keep offering to go out, and to take his mind of things. I've taken him to the cinema, for meals and days out and been available to chat to all the time.

However, selfish though it may sound, his miserableness is rubbing off on my own wellbeing. Its just one thing after another. Like anything I say or text to try and provide reassurance its like "ok thanks. I'm also worried about something else :( "

Everyday there's a new problem. I was doubting the relationship before. But I want to be there for him during this difficult time. Its just call me selfish but I'm getting hardly anything out of this relationship anymore and can't deal with all his problems.

What would be the best thing to do? (He's 19)

Well, for one thing, he is grieving with the loss of pets and possible loss soon of dad. While grieving, people are very likely to not be themselves. However they are also very susceptible at this time to become depressed. Being that you're with him a lot, you will be better able to tell if he is depressed compared to his normal self.
Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole or vacumn” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, just not care about anything, nothing is interesting to them anymore and they choose to do nothing at all.

Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are overpowering.

Since he has already lost pets, a good book on how to process through grief would be the best gesture right now. Someone loaned me a copy of the book "Good Grief" when I lost my mom. It's sage advice applies no matter what the loss, pets, job, loss of friend, or family member. There are certain important stages a person must go through, you can't skip or avoid them and all of them are natural and happen in the order the books chapters list them. I can attest to that. Here's a link to check out the book and its author, read the preview. If you wish to get it and dont want to order through somewhere on line, go to your local bookstore. If they dont have it, they can order it for you if they have the name and author. that would be a good place to start. He can use it now and then again if or when he loses his dad.
You are not going to get what you usually get out of the relationship while he's going through this.
In any couple relationship, there will be times when one is weaker than the other depending on what they are battling, a simple flu, an injury they are recovering from, loss of job/search for another and budget tightness, and thats when they need their partner to be strong and hang in there for them. It takes a special true depth of love to be able to love and be supportive of a partner who is unable at the time to give anything in return to you. In life, there will come a time when its your turn to suffer and you will require a loving supportive partner who is there for you even though you are unable to be there for him.

It's natural to have those selfish feelings even if we really love someone. It's what we do despite those feelings that count. During this time, take time to splurge on yourself, doing special things for yourself, just you, not with him. Do things that will make you feel good, feel better, pampering stuff even...like if you can afford it, get a professional manicure, pedicure done, a massage, treat yourself to a new outfit even if it has to be 2nd hand but still new to your wardrobe...etc. Do whatever puts you in 'happy feel good' mode, play your favorite music that uplifts you, singing along with it will help you feel better, watch some comedy cus laughter is terrific feel good medicine, do something that involves movement like dancing, jogging, exercise.
And once you feel back to your normal self, suggest some of these things to him because all of them are ways to get over depression that comes from a life experience such as his. You repeat and do these things whenever lifes stress brings your natural occurring 'feel good hormone' levels down in your body. He's going to need this even more than you.
One last thing, at some point in time, he is going to have to face and deal with what is bothering him. Buying him and giving him the book is one thing but he has to pick it up and read it. Telling him what helps you with stress is not going to help him unless he deals with it by putting the same techniques into practice too.
My daughter got those techniques straight from a psychologist she went to after a bad break up with boyfriend. Her depression lasted at least 6 months and she ended up losing tons of weight looking anorexic. It worked for her. I already knew of and was using these myself...found the info online. It really works, hugging is also a great therapy, the long hard bears hugs tho but not everyone is open to that. Good luck dear. He's lucky to have you.

So I have a friend that has been through a lot. Lost his mother, promptly gained inheritance and lost it just as quickly, and to top it all off he has a girlfriend who is emotionally abusive and is also bed ridden. He has so many responsibilities piling up he has been neglecting his duties with the house. I mean it seems like he is losing more grasp on reality and is not being able to provide the appropriate care for himself let alone his GF. I want to have a talk with him and convince him that he might not be able to care for her properly and with that might end up losing her ( death or otherwise) and I am afraid he won't listen to what I am telling him. What should I do?

First read this article about what Adult protective services is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_Protective_Services

It states:
Forms of abuse include physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse as well as financial exploitation and other concerns are for the elderly and those with disabilities mental or physical who care for themselves and neglect their own needs.

There are lots of adults who are not elderly or disabled in any ways that neglect their basic needs and no agency is going to come to their rescue so if it's his choice to place himself in such a position and in such a relationship where she is emotionally abusive to him, that's his choice. There is a large amount of women in abusive relationships, and until she decides she wants help, there is no agency that can help her...the same goes for the male friend.
He is still in the grieving process and won't be able to process successfully through it if he has added things to deal with such as the girlfriend.

If she doesnt qualify for state funded caregiver, then she of course would go with anyone willing to look after her for free. She isn't helping things by adding to the pressure by being emotionally abusive but as I said, he is willing to have her as his girlfriend.

There is a point when agencies should be contacted to step in, even if they are both willing to keep this arrangement, and that is when the living environment becomes a health hazard. If you've seen ads for the TV show on hoarders, you get the idea... trash piled high, whole place unsanitory, etc..
Its hard to say if their situation qualiftv ies for help. If you talk to your friend about your concerns for him that he may be still suffering from loss of mom and not able to make the best decisions let alone the pressures of caring for himself and girlfriend. Urge him to get some grief counseling or whatever counseling applies for himself. You're probably right that he won't listen to you. So you could call the Adult protective service and mention the situation and ask if that is something they handle looking into or what they would suggest. You can be anonymous and don't have to mention any names until you know whether the state laws see this as a situation in which they need to step in.

I've been dating my partner for 5 months now, we have been for many other years before. Before me and partner got together, I went on a few dates with his friend, they're not close to spend time together, but close enough to speak and say hi. Anyway, the dates were just casual dates, nothing went further and I ended up getting in a relationship with my current partner. I had a message the other day from the guy I went on a date with (his friend) asking how I was, etc. I was being polite by replying, I have no intention of going back there again, he was being really jealous telling me to leave my current partner for him. Obviously, I told my partner but now he's really mad at me, he's said he needs space and it's been 3 days, I feel lost now. I have sent him messages but he's totally ignoring me, he said we are going to be ok, and it's just a temporarily break, but I'm unsure. He's manipulated me into thinking I've done the dirty work. But have I? I didn't think anything was bad about being polite and asking how he was too, etc. After all, they were no emotional attachments between me and the guy I went on a date with. I'm unsure whether to walk away from my partner, or if he's just hurt and upset and I should be here for him. I don't want to wait around for anyone, I don't think anyone should have to do that. I told him we could get through it together instead of space, as space isn't going to solve anything... But, no reply. I've read up on narcissist, and I'm wondering if may be, he is one. Has anyone got any experiences or thoughts they could share? I really appreciate it.
18/F

Razhie's right, they both sound like jerks, or at least mentally very immature guys who either are aware of their shortcomings and don't want to change for the better cus they figure most women all are so desperate for a relationship that they're a dime a dozen or
they have such big ego's that they are totally clueless that they are terrible relationship material and need to grow up and do some self improvement.

I think there was a whole lot more said than him just needing space for 3 days. Apparently from your comment "He's manipulated me into thinking I've done the dirty work",

you are taking things too personally, allowing what he said to take root in your mind and somewhat or fully get you to doubt yourself and accept what he said as the truth.

First, you might be new to dating and relationships so use this experience as an example to compare with in the future. Any time you come up against a man who acts like these two, drop em like a hot rock cus they are immature jerks and not relationship material. Don't even take the time to consider that what such a guy says about what he's perceived as being your faults, problems, bad habits even has a grain of truth to it.

If he treated you like sh*t with how he spoke to you and you plead with him to come back so you can work things out together, that sends a signal to a man that you are desperate and you will put up with crap from him so there is no reason for him to learn how to treat you better. Don't ever be so desperate to find yourself a sweetheart that you end up settling for less dear. Let both these guys go. If either calls again and begs to see you...I'd say, I'm no longer interested, I deserve better than you. Then hang up.

The man I am having an affair with is upset with me... He doesn't care that I am engaged we are young and having fun...

The problem is I have fallen absolutely in love with him.

I need a gift to apologize for hurting him in the past..our affair is newly rekindled after 6months of not talking..

Gifts,?! Things i can do?! I need him back. I need his love. Help.

And do you not love the one you are engaged to? Perhaps Mr. Affair is in love with you and that's why he is hurt and he wants you to marry him instead of the fiancee. If Mr. Affair is totally available and not married or dating someone else, and you love but are not in love with the fiancee, then I would say that if I have these details right, the best gift you could give him is your entire heart and to ask him to marry you and break up with the fiancee.

And how much time do you think you will have for him once married? There's bound to be future hurts on his part..over and over. This could become a repeating cycle, where no gift helps with an apology. If you are able to "buy" his love with a gift, I'd question the level of so called love he has for you.
If you believe you are deeply in love with two men at the same time, you better hope they are okay with sharing as in "Polyamory". Just an FYI...if Fiancee doesn't know about Mr. Affair and finds out later, would he be more likely to ignore the affair and go have affairs of his own. Woould you be okay with that. Would he be more likely to demand you stop seeing him. Or would he want a divorce? Things done in secrecy don't often have good results.
At some point in the future you are bound to lose one man or the other. If I were you, I'd come clean now and Have a meeting all 3 of you and tell your men that you are in love with both of them and don't want to have to choose between them and you don't want to hurt them and that you are hoping they are okay with sharing you in a triad relationship. Go read up on Polyamory... its for real but its all about honesty, no sneaking around. If you want info on that let me know. If all you still want is an idea for a gift, buy him anything you want, cus it doesnt make a difference.

So I love this girl. When I say love I mean love. I constantly think about her (almost everyday) and think about how perfect she is. But, she's my "aunt". Known her my whole life as an aunt but she is my moms best friend since 1980. But anyway, when I went to visit her up in Colorado with my family she flirted with me the entire time. Hugging me constantly, rubbing, holding hands for a bit, winking, and more. And at the time she was married to her husband of about 10 years. But she would never show these signs in front of her hubby. Anyway, every time we talked her eyes would sparkle with her smiling and intently listening, and if we were in a group of people she would always look at me and smile at me throughout the conversation. This was in the summer of 2013. Six months later, in January of this year, she came down to where we live and a lot happened during that 6 month period. She left her husband (can't help but think that I helped that cause a little bit), she moved to Kentucky, and is living with her new boyfriend. But again, during her three week stay she still flirted with me but not the same as usual. She did it with less passion, less force I guess. She still seemed passionate but not to the same degree as before. We didn't get to see each other as much but she stilled showed me the same exact signs. After she left I got super sad for about a month because I missed her so much. I laid in bed for hours, multiple times, just being sad and thinking about her. I haven't talked to her since but that's just because I don't know exactly what to say. I don't know if I should flirt, be normal, or what and plus its just going to make me sad again because I won't be able to see her for however long. I don't want her to go and saying that I was hardcore flirting with her to my mom or grandparents. How do I approach this? I am almost 17, male. She is almost 41, female.

I can't say why she did the obvious flirting with you but the fact she got divorced recently at her age, makes me wonder if she was the 'neglected wife' and totally starved for attention and affection, or something else was going on. It's entirely possible that she has some major issues within her self to deal with which she is choosing not to take care of and those kinds of things can eventually break up a marriage.

Sorry to burst your bubble. I know it feels great to be paid attention but she was only thinking of herself when she did what she did, not the fact that she was taking advantage of and stirring up a teen male who would not be legally able to do anything with her even if he wanted and if she was available. Maybe she targeted you just Because she felt you were 'safe' feeling you would be too flattered and sexually carried away to say anything about this.

An adult woman who so desperately needs validation as a female that she would chose a 'teen' boy to get it from is just not normal dear.

I think its more likely that you are 'in lust' with her rather than 'in love' with her. In a normal loving relationship, there is a flow of communication and feelings with your partner, you have not had that yet. You say nothing about her telling you that she is in love with you and wants more than just flirting with you. Her signals as you call them are not signs of love or affection, they are only signs of attraction.
Flirting does not a relationship make.

So in answer as to what you should do, Yes...you should flirt. You've had plenty of lessons from her and know how now, so go flirt with girls your own age.

Today at the 5th grade pizza party he stared at me dancing,I mean, I'm a good dancer because people were clapping for me and taking videos… but when I looked at him he looked away. He does a awful lot of staring and flashing smiles at me… but never actually interacts with me… every now and then we have a short conversation… I'm not the type to babble like an idiot when talking with a crush, and he seems a little shy about it… I'm not sure how to approach him, how? And do you think he likes me?

Thats perfectly normal behavior for humans who are attracted to someone. Even grownups do it. The first is the making eye contact and staring and looking away and staring again and the smiles. The smiles are a signal to another person that the person is friendly and open to being approached in conversation with you. At your age due to no previous experience, you aren't catching the signals yet. Dont worry, we all start there. He may be shy and also scared cus he doesnt know how to talk to a girl and has no clue what to do first.

What he has done so far is something we automatically do without thinking about it. there are many other types of body language signs we automatically give off without often being aware of it. Here's some to help you. When you approach him, stand close enough so that if you left your arm your could tap him on the shoulder. This means you are in his personal space. If a person is not interested in you, it will feel uncomfortable and they will step back a pace or two to re create space between you. Again most people dont realise they do this. If he stays his ground, then he's comfortable with you. So start talking to him about anything you have in common, a certain class, teacher, things going on at school. Think of some questions you might ask ahead of time, have several in case he doesnt have an answer for you on one like "Whats your favorite band?" "Oh I dont really have any favorite." In that case you could say, well mine is_____, what would you like to talk about or what would you like to ask me? Take the pressure off of him if he's feeling too shy and do some talking. Once he's feeling comfortable he should warm up to you and have no trouble talking about anything. His shyness is probably only about how to approach a girl to start talking so if you start, he'll likely jump right in and be glad to talk. If your conversation goes well for the next few days,later you can pass him a note with the question "Do you like me? and two boxes, one labeled yes and one for no so he can put his x on it.

today i was on a wiki site typing a script to some fan fiction i made up but later the stupid adminstrators blocked me from doing so causing me to start over which is retarded i hate it when those things happen so why do they do that its just not right at all when they block from ediiting i only do it for fun where else can i write fan fiction i used a wiki site called the parody wiki but things kept happening on there that were just retarded and i would like to write fan ficton without registration thank you .

I am not familiar with those types of sites but I CAN say that any online site that requires a person being registered as a member of a site or a group, is not allowed to post or comment on a group and usually some kind of bot is built in the program that will block people from posting. I've not heard of being blocked from editing what you wrote. But then perhaps that option would be open to you if you did register.
I suggest you ask the creators of that site how to edit your own stuff on there.

I may be pregnant after making the mistake of having sex. He used a condom and it's been 11 days since and I've experienced sore breasts, fatigue, and major boost in appetite. I started bleeding today but it's extremely light and not like my normal period and it's been off and on. Could I still have a possibility of being pregnant? I'm 15 (yes major mistake I know please don't lecture me)...

Having sex is not a major mistake. Trusting in only condoms without use of any other type of birth control is where you can get into trouble.
Condoms are probably fairly good at protection from STD's but I've heard of people who still caught something because, few gals give blow jobs to guys wearing a condom for it and fewer guys give oral sex to girls wearing a dental dam. So it really comes down to avoiding pregnancy. There are many options out there today that work really well. So if you plan to continue being sexual, then go to planned Parenthood and get fixed up with some contraceptives.

Could you be pregnant? There always is a very slight chance. Perhaps a pin sized hole in the condom not noticeable or some fluid leaked back up and around the sides of it.

You could always take a pharmacy pregnancy test to be sure and lay your mind to rest.

At age 15, your body isn't done growing sexually and your periods will not be regular consistantly even if they have been for a while. At this age you can get light flows that come and go or no period at all for a couple months. It is much more common than teens think and thats why we see lots of letters from young girls thinking they are pregnant when their period is still fluctuating. Sore breasts can come just before a period as in the bloating symptoms. Sometimes I got just the tummy doing that, sometimes just the breast and sometimes both. A body can feel tired when all its energy is going to fighting an virus or some bug, and you may feel a need to eat to give your body the extra energy. Has anyone in the family been recently ill? Perhaps your body is fighting the same germs and may win and you wont get sick but you can experience fatigue and hunger on that. Sex should be something enjoyable, it is known to be stress relieving. So it shouldnt be something that you worry so much afterwards each time about pregnancy that it actually creates stress. Thats not good.
So test yourself. Get on more reliable birth control and do some reading up on females and puberty and learn some things about your body.

I am giving you link about irregular periods but its a site with lots of other good topics about sexual health for teens. Please check out the rest as well.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html

I have a really hard time talking with other people in class, and normally I'm excluded from most of the groups because the kids think I'm weird. I'm in 6th grade and I spend most of my time in the counselor's office rather than in class. I would really like some help.

First, do they say they think you're weird because of what you actually say to them? or
is it because you remain silent and say nothing at all due to social anxiety/shyness?

Is it only students/peers or do you have trouble talking to all people.

Spending time in the counselors office for what offense? What do you do to end up there instead of class?

You are not going to learn your studies if you are not in class to do them.
Is there any information you didn't think to share with us?
Can you give some examples of what you say and peoples responses?

I can't begin to attempt to help unless I know what actual factors make it hard for you to talk to other students in class.
What groups are you excluded from and is this only in class or in other areas of life as well?

I would think that a "counseling" office would be a place to get help--counseling on how to overcome your problem. So it sounds to me that rather than attempt to help you, school officials are sticking you in the office. Are your parents aware of what is going on? Perhaps funding for help with kids who need special teaching to gain social skills is lacking. If there is a problem that can be fixed by educating your parents and yourself so you can practice and work on it that would be the best thing. But hon, I don't know if thats the problem or if you simply act up to get attention, or behave as the class clown, to get attention, or if you are perfectly normal and the kids have the problem.

Lots of kids your age are extremely and unfairly critical of others. Are you to only one picked on or do others get the same treatment. Let me know a bit more of what is actually going on and i will try to help.

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