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what does he mean by that?


Question Posted Saturday March 1 2014, 3:05 pm

My besr guy friend of four years and I like each other. He asked me out but I turned him down. This was after he had sex because I got scared. I want to be with him too but hes too complicated. He has a kid. I dont mind but it makes me nervous? I have been avoiding him in a way and he told me not to dissappear on him that he misses me. Then I told him I missed him too. Then he said "only know you love them when you let them go". Is this reffering to me loving him becuase I let him go? Or is it him referring to himself. That he is realizing how much he cares after I rejected him? And I asked him what he meant by that but he wouldnt tell me. Now im just confused.

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Dragonflymagic answered Sunday March 2 2014, 10:31 pm:
You turned him down after he had sex

If there's no typo's there, then the question is "who did he have sex with, another girl or you?"

There are lots of guys who are in love with girls who only see them as a close friend and can't see them as anything else. He gets stuck in the friendship zone. It's taken him a long time to ask you out, 4 years.

The only thing that seems to snap a girl out of the friendship zone to realise whether she loves the guy back and wants to be with him the rest of her life is to imagine that tomorrow he meets the girl of his dreams and they date and in 3 months are engaged and in another 3 married. His greater responsibility is now to this woman. He is not going to have much time for you as a friend. In fact, if she can't handle the fact that his best friend is a female, then he likely may not see you again. When it gets to that point, there's no returing to what you have now.

So the question to you is, can you give him up that easily. I realise you might be sad if you couldn't see him. Maybe you can handle not seeing and spending time with him if it only lasted a month or maybe you can handle a year, but could you handle not being with him for the next 5 or 10 years? If you can't, you need to take a closer look, you might be in love with him. It doesnt have to be the big fireworks some relationships feel hot sparks in the beginning. It can be a glowing ember that slowly starts a fire going. That kind of love sneaks up on you.

I can't say for sure if he was referring to himself or you, but since I believe he is already sure of what he feels, more likely he was referring to you.

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