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Is he a narcissist?
I've been dating my partner for 5 months now, we have been for many other years before. Before me and partner got together, I went on a few dates with his friend, they're not close to spend time together, but close enough to speak and say hi. Anyway, the dates were just casual dates, nothing went further and I ended up getting in a relationship with my current partner. I had a message the other day from the guy I went on a date with (his friend) asking how I was, etc. I was being polite by replying, I have no intention of going back there again, he was being really jealous telling me to leave my current partner for him. Obviously, I told my partner but now he's really mad at me, he's said he needs space and it's been 3 days, I feel lost now. I have sent him messages but he's totally ignoring me, he said we are going to be ok, and it's just a temporarily break, but I'm unsure. He's manipulated me into thinking I've done the dirty work. But have I? I didn't think anything was bad about being polite and asking how he was too, etc. After all, they were no emotional attachments between me and the guy I went on a date with. I'm unsure whether to walk away from my partner, or if he's just hurt and upset and I should be here for him. I don't want to wait around for anyone, I don't think anyone should have to do that. I told him we could get through it together instead of space, as space isn't going to solve anything... But, no reply. I've read up on narcissist, and I'm wondering if may be, he is one. Has anyone got any experiences or thoughts they could share? I really appreciate it.
18/F
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Razhie's right, they both sound like jerks, or at least mentally very immature guys who either are aware of their shortcomings and don't want to change for the better cus they figure most women all are so desperate for a relationship that they're a dime a dozen or
they have such big ego's that they are totally clueless that they are terrible relationship material and need to grow up and do some self improvement.
I think there was a whole lot more said than him just needing space for 3 days. Apparently from your comment "He's manipulated me into thinking I've done the dirty work",
you are taking things too personally, allowing what he said to take root in your mind and somewhat or fully get you to doubt yourself and accept what he said as the truth.
First, you might be new to dating and relationships so use this experience as an example to compare with in the future. Any time you come up against a man who acts like these two, drop em like a hot rock cus they are immature jerks and not relationship material. Don't even take the time to consider that what such a guy says about what he's perceived as being your faults, problems, bad habits even has a grain of truth to it.
If he treated you like sh*t with how he spoke to you and you plead with him to come back so you can work things out together, that sends a signal to a man that you are desperate and you will put up with crap from him so there is no reason for him to learn how to treat you better. Don't ever be so desperate to find yourself a sweetheart that you end up settling for less dear. Let both these guys go. If either calls again and begs to see you...I'd say, I'm no longer interested, I deserve better than you. Then hang up.
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Don't bother with diagnosing this guy. That isn't respectful.
You don't need to label his mental health: Just look at his behaviour. It sucks. Whether he has a mental illness or not, the behaviour sucks.
Frankly, both these guys are jerks. If I were a suspicious person, I'd wonder if they played you, and your boyfriend asked this other guy to help him make up a reason to break it off. A message going so quickly from "How are you?" to "Leave your boyfriend." just seems a bit suspicious to me.
Regardless, I think you are thinking about this correctly: If he doesn't want to make this work and deal with his feelings on the subject of you having some friendly contact with a guy, who turned around and hit on you, then it's best to let it be over. Whether or not that is narcissism, it's a level of insecurity and a lack of trust that is going to cause ongoing problems. If he refuses to address his behaviour or his unfair accusations, then he's not good boyfriend material.
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