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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
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Good evening. I am a 23 year old female. While I was in college, I was living at home due to some family and financial issues. I earned my degree in December and I am looking for a full-time job. But, before I start with the what is going now, it would only be fair to give you background of the problem. Since I was in high school, my mom has had a bad opinion of every guy I've ever dated. I thought it was just natural, like no one was good enough for her daughter type of thing. But, she made me break up with two guys I dated in high school. She just said that she wouldn't drive me to the dates (back then, we didn't drive) and I wasn't allowed to drive with them, etc.
As I got older, I realized her dangerous behaviors. None of these guys were "bad guys." They may not have been the most attractive, but none of them were bad. We live in a neighborhood of private schools nearby, so people usually go to the local private schools and they are very strict. No one did drugs, drank, etc. Everyone was pretty good. It was about control. It was about who she would want to date vs. who I would want to date. The problem has escalated to a terrible point and it is very serious. At 23, I have a boyfriend who I have been dating for over 2 years. We have talked seriously about marriage. She refuses to meet his family and hated him for no good reason. The nagging was constant. It was like she would never stop. She would stand over my bed talking about it at night and when I would wake up, she was there again talking about it. When I'd come home from having dinner with him, she would constantly be asking me when I was going to break up with him. At breakfast, all she talks about is how I'm going to break up with him. I think the part that annoys her the most is that this is the first boyfriend I had as an adult and she cannot control the relationship. But, the nagging started affecting me. It got to the point where I even thought about breaking up with him just to stop the nagging. But, then the following happened.
A couple of days ago, he made a sexual move on me that I did not like. It was not the first time he did this. This sexual behavior is very violent and it was not exactly something that I liked. It was a turn-off because it actually hurt and I spent so much time fighting it off, that I couldn't really enjoy anything. This has happened quite a few times where he has kind of forced himself. But, I am also at fault. Although I was telling him to stop during the action itself, I didn't mention it afterwards. I acted as if it never happened. I guess I was kind of scared to say something. But, looking back, I think if we would have talked about it seriously afterwards, he would have stopped.
I went on a trip with my mom last weekend, and she kept on nagging and nagging the whole 5 hour car ride there, so I just told her that I was going to break up with him because of this (above). You need to understand my mother's nagging. It is like interrogation tactics in a criminal investigation. It gets to a point where you just want to scream.
I hadn't seen him in one week because I was out of town and working late. And when I saw him today, my world just came together. I saw him, hugged him, and thought to myself that I could never live without him. He is the love of my life and everything I could ask for him a man. He's sweet, generous, loves me, and respects me more than anyone else in my house. Did I mention I had to sneak in secret to see him? Because of how scared I am of my mom. I'm 23 years old... I shouldn't have to sneak out to see my boyfriend, who I am likely marrying within the next two years. Being in his arms today reminded me that I didn't care if my mom wouldn't come to my wedding or if she never meets his parents. We have each other and that's all that matters to me.
Since this weekend, my mom is STILL NAGGING ME... BUT DIFFERENTLY. She keeps asking me if I'm sad, how I feel, and when we can "talk." She starts telling me how I need to make more friends, how I abandoned my old ones (which is not true. My best friend since 2nd grade never spoke to me again after she found out my mom lost her job and we couldn't afford things). She starts saying that I need to do this and that and finds other things to nag about. So, it pretty much confirmed my emotions. My mom is going to nag, regardless. I need to get out! All I need is to find a job by summer ( a full-time). But, in the meantime, I'm going to have to find a temporary place to live and I need a loan. Where can I get a loan? I'm not in school anymore... if you can please help me... please tell me what my options are. I am so overwhelmed. Please...
Banks don't give loans for that reason. So...check with other relatives if you can stay long enough to find work and save up for a place of your own. Or if you have a church, talk to the pastor and see if anyone can take you in for a while. My oldest daughter wanted to feel like an adult and be away from us parents so bad that she asked the pastor at the church she went to and an older lady let her have a room, she found a job and saved up and got into an apt with 2 other friends. Thats how such a transition is made but usually takes someone willing to let you have a place to stay free while you save up all your money for a place and of course help clean up any messes you make in the home.
If no church, no relatives, think of people you know from school you could call and find out what their situation is, maybe they can give you a place to stay or their parents or parents of close friends who know you from growing up.
I suggest you also see a counselor because you are in an abusive relationship. And although you asked him to stop, he didn't. That is not love...to hurt someone you care about and it certainly is not respectful.
This guy is a douche bag. Your subconscious is attached to him through the sex, albight, bad sex. But doesnt your conscious mind register that he is taking advantage of you? It seems that you are emotionally stunted and never really grew up as well as you should have probably due to Mom's influence. You may have a warped perception of what a healthy relationship is, whether it be between you and parents, siblings, relatives, other students, co workers or boyfriend. Until you have a better more clear idea of what is healthy in human behavior towards another and what is dysfunctional, you'll be living through lots of other crap, even if mom and boyfriend didn't exist anymore. Your fear of your mom is partly lack of self confidence or healthy self image. You may also be a very needy person and come across as desperate. If I were a guy and was rough with you, you acted like nothing happened later and a week later run for joy into my arms to see me, I would think you had no self respect and as such I could get you to put up with anything I wanted, nice or not, hurtful, painful, abusive etc... and I could get away with it.
Yes, I definitely think some counseling is in order.
Not picking on you dear. I didn't have all the issues you have but I did marry a 'Christian' man who fooled the parents even and a year later began to be verbally abusive. Since the church frowned on divorce, I stuck with it 30 years until I woke up and decided I'd had enough. I had been strong in some areas but allowed the crap to continue by staying. Eventually I left because it was by 30 yrs affecting my physical health. The stress of unhealthy relationships, no matter how much you are part of the cause or not at all, it will either affect you mentally or physically...the stress has to go somewhere. In my case, I held on to a good self image due to close relationship with God but the stress went into my body physically. Migraines, almost daily headaches, stomach ulcers, the list goes on. I had a dream/vision that if I didnt leave, I would die of cancer or heart attack in a couple years. I left. This is why i am so passionate about you getting some help for yourself. If you cant see a Dr. then go to a large bookstore and just humble yourself and tell a clerk what your issues are that you want to find self help books for and buy a couple and read them all several times. Good luck dear
I'm a senior in high school and have not been asked to prom, nor do I expect to be. I don't really want to go anyway-I see no point in spending a lot of money(dress, ticket, hair) for 3 unenjoyable hours. Especially since I just wrecked my car and I can't imagine asking my parents for money after that. I also don't want to ask anyone. However, my best friend, who is like a sister to me, really wants me to go. I don't want to let her down, but I really don't want to go. I don't know what to do.
I am so glad Breezy told you what she did. Now I will share. I was one of those people who never went to prom because no one asked me, and I didn't expect to be as I wasn't the friendliest person towards most boys. I had boys who were kinda friends but not boyfriends. I felt strange going alone or with girlfriends who didn't have dates. Now today that is popular. Do I regret missing out on that rite of passage? You bet I do. You can't go back and undo something and choose another way. If it turns out you were right and you dont enjoy yourself at prom, at least you gave it a try. If you go and do enjoy it with your friend, you'll have a great memory to look back on. If you make excuses to not go, you'll be kicking yourself later like I did for quite a while. My daughters all borrowed dresses for prom. We didnt have the money to get them any. They didnt have corsages but one did pool monies together with her group of friends and hired a hairdresser acquaintence to come to the apartment and do up the hair of all five girls for a special rate. That besides tickets in was their only splurge. Her friends families were poor too. If we begin to let our financial status limit us from enjoying life, then we all have a pretty sucky life to look forward to.
Can I tell if I am jewish from my last name? Can anyone tell me how to find out if it is, or just sounds like it?
Not necessarily. Many Jewish familys have names with endings (suffixes) that are German in nature. A lot depends on the original country the Jewish descendants were living in. German being the most common surnames and Polish, even Russia. My dad said he had Jewish ancestors from one side of the family far back that lived in large jewish communities in Spain.
Heres an article that explains this in more detail with listing of name examples
http://genealogy.about.com/b/2009/09/12/is-my-surname-jewish.htm
In ancient times, when there was no such thing as DNA testing to determine who the father was, The Jews came up with the rule that only children born of a mother with a Jewish bloodline would be considered Jewish. If Dad was Jewish and Mom was gentile, then the child was considered gentile, not Jewish even though in reality the child is half of what both parents are. Many Jews today still hold by that ruling even though we have DNA testing that can prove who the parents are. I know someone whose mom is Full German and Dad Full Jewish and she considered herself to be half and half, both German and Jewish.
I am looking for a really nice mailbox to put in front of my house. I am female, and of course I want it to be terribly, terribly cute. ;) Where can I find mailboxes like that for sale on-line or brick and mortar? Thank you!
There are mostly places online for that kind of thing. Heres one site:
http://www.mailboxnet.com/post_mount_mailboxes/post_mount_creative_mailboxes.html
Put in searches for Novelty mailboxes or creative mailboxes and you come up with lots of sites to look at or even just look at images people have posted of their creative mailboxes.
If you or a boyfriend or husband are creative and handy with welding or woodwork, then the skie's the limit. Just look at this one site of outrageous ideas for mail boxes.
http://creativenvironment.wordpress.com/2011/03/31/50-creative-mailboxes/
Have fun with that.
17F
So I like this girl from work. She is just a very refreshing person to talk to and be around, not to mention I think she's incredibly beautiful. It started off with pure infatuation but has calmed down a bit. So I have a couple questions I need answered.
1. She is 21 and I am 17, is that too much of an age difference? I turn 18 in August
2. She agreed to go to prom with me as a "friend" but she already had her prom so is there something more there? She seems into it. Already got her dress, wants to go pick out corsages...
3. Should I make a move? I already told her how I felt and she said on occasions she felt a little more for me than just a friend but isn't sure if she could be in a romantic relationships with a girl (she has hooked up with girls only) I was thinking maybe if I take her on a date, it could open up her mind
Any other comments, just make them :)
The age difference shouldn't matter if you're about the same maturity level. Some college agers are more still like highschoolers in maturity and some highschoolers are more mature like college age people.
Is there something more to her getting a dress and going to prom with you? I don't know. You have to ask her. Same problem I see with young people whether same sex or heterosexual couples, one is always guessing what the other person meant and asking us to interpret what the other person is 'thinking, feeling, what they really meant'. We're just advice givers, not psychics...lol
Should you make a move? I think you already did by telling her how you felt. Since she said she isn't sure. And you want her to be sure about her feelings whether she is interested in you for hooking up or not, what would you need to ask her?
I'd say it would be asking her what she will need to be sure. At her age, she is still exploring and its very likely she isn't sure of what she wants yet. And the way to find out is by exploring without making any solid commitment to one person yet and toward labeling oneself sexually. She may be straight and bi curious, or bi sexual or lesbian. She will not know until she has given all options a try. So I see no reason why you can't spend time together on dates.
I am guessing here by your choice of words but it sounds like she has only had sex with girls for sex sake and not been in a dating relationship with any. If thats where she is currently at and she can't give more because she isn't ready to explore more, then don't pressure her. Some bi women are able to be sexual with many women, and for others, it only happens with one where they have the romantic relationship but also have a romantic one with a man. Its for her to figure out for herself without pressure. If you dont pressure her for any kind of commitment off the bat, I'm sure she'll be more open.
I've known several bi women who didn't make the discovery about themselves until they were married several years. Going from straight in a marriage to discovery they're bi and acting on it with hubbys full support is an amazing thing to see. Not all people figure this kind of thing out yet at this age. >Good luck!
So i liked this girl since august, we used to flirt alot during that time until she got a boyfriend and i was friendzoned. After the break-up i talked to her a lot, but im not sure she'll like me back. We like to get touchy sometimes, maybe hug, or write on each other, but sometimes i think its cause i badly friendzoned. Im leaving in 2 months and i'll probably never see her again, but we are good friends at it'll be awkward if she says no. I just need some help please.
Okay wait...first you say you are leaving in two months. How far away? If you won't be near enough to see her "in person" on a regular level, then there is no chance of dating her if you could get out of 'friend zone', right? So why bother with only getting to date her two months if somehow you could swing this instantly? And is it fair to her whether she knows you are leaving or not to get involved only to feel sad when you are gone and having to move on?
If you are entertaining the idea of a long dist. relationship, don't bother. Even if you've known the person in real life, once apart, whatever the two of you discuss and how your relationship continues is mostly pure imagine and fantasy. Humans tend to fill in the spaces that are missing cus its not face to face, with fantasized imaginings. The reason for dating is to learn things about the opposite sex and discover things we like and don't like, causing us to refine our search of who we want to date, so that they are not only best friend but romantic partner as well and someone we can ultimately spend long term with dating or in marriage. Even as teens in high school, theres lots to learn and most likely you will date several different girls before you decide on who is 'the one' for you. So it is counterproductive to attempt to date a girl who is long distance. Okay, that part is settled.
So whats left? You still don't know what you are doing that is putting you in the 'friend zone' to begin with. I bet you'd like to know asap for the time when the next girl comes around that you become interested in. I have watched video's of dating coaches and these guys have pointers to help a guy know what to do and not do to avoid get 'friend zoned'.
Here's a wonderful article by wiki how on the friend zone with links to other related topics. Hope it helps.
http://www.wikihow.com/Escape-the-Friend-Zone
what would you call someone who doesn't want something to get done to them but they can do it?
That is a hypocrite. Heres a site that says a little more about that.
http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-a-hypocrite.htm
Hi everyone, I have been going through something and i wanted to get some of your opinions. Me and my ex broke up a while ago because of something in our relationship we didn't think the same about (theres more to it, but thats not important right now) When we were together, i used to like randomly ask him "why dont you ever talk to my sister? i mean write her see how she is and be friendly" and he would be like "if she wants to ask about me she can, why do i have to? " he was honestly kind of arrogant and thats the way he thought about things, not because he was an ass or anything. Anyways, ever since we broke up, hes been texting her and calling her asking where she is all the time, and when she tells him shes somewhere he asks with who, if im not there he doesnt come but if i am he ends up coming and it gets really awkward (since we only say hi how are you, but were not really friends) now he usually writes her asking what her plans are, and then just ignores half way through after he asks her who shes with and my name isnt mentioned. ( Now, he knows that me and my sister are really close, even when we'd have some problems she was always the one helping us fix it and he'd always call her and ask for me if i wasn't answering my phone, so the fact that he is "into her" is out of the questions because that is not the situation at all) My question is, does this mean he misses me or wants to see me somehow again? after the break up we saw each other a few times and we'd exchange eye contact but we haven't seen each other in a while and i think that's why he keeps contacting her, so he doesn't feel like hes loosing touch with my family or that he doesn't want to burn any bridges. Maybe im looking too much into it, but id say i was if he had been close friends with her while we were together but he was not. Has anyone ever done this when they were missing an ex? Thank you all for taking the time to read this :)
Well, you know what they say about curiousity...it killed the cat. What is curiousity? Careful inquisitive thinking such as exploration, investigation, and learning. It means you want to learn something about your situation with you sis and ex. You want to gain a clearer picture of what is going on. Once you do know what is going on, do you know what difference it will make to you?
Whether you learn something positive or negative, it is going to matter what he does and why he's doing it? I wouldn't think so, as you did say he was an ex. Perhaps subconsciously, in your mind you can't let him go or somehow it's not over in your mind so that is why you can't keep thinking about him and hidden meanings to every little action he takes and does. The thing about trying to overthink what a guys intentions or meaning are behind what he says and does are that women often guess wrong when leaving it up to their imagination or thoughts. Best thing to do if you want to know whats up is ask him.
The part of you that is going to have the hardest time letting go is your subconscious mind because that is where our emotions and feelings dwell. Your conscious mind may have valid reasons why you believe the relationship wont work and why you broke up but it takes the subconscious a much longer time to catch on due to feelings that pull at heart strings. If its better that he is out of your life as a romantic partner, then eventually the rest of you will catch up with that fact. Just give it time.
I had a horrible dream: my mom bought my brother a bike that was possessed by a demon. I told her not to buy it, it's possessed. She said that we “have to save it" because it's my brother's bike. I told her to just burn it. Get rid of it. She's like,“then how is (brothers name) gonna ride it?" I begged her to throw it away, but she insisted on keeping it. I kept asking people I recognized from school, but didn't know THAT well, if they knew how to remove evil spirits. The bike was blue, and it has some sort of stamp on it that looked like a bloody zombie with horns and fangs. I could find out where I saw all the things in my dreams in my waking world. The bike was in the cellar, and I woke up crying, and freaking out, and I thought a demon was attacking me and my chest hurt:I was having a panic attack. My mom calmed me down, and let me start home from school since I woke up at 3:00am. The panic attack happened for 2 hours, until I was finally able to go to sleep. I was always afraid of stuff like demons and devils and possessions. I am not afraid of bikes however, I am very excited for the weather to get nice so I could ride my bike. Whenever I looked at it it made a sound like “HA ha HA ha HAAAAAAAAA" and a harsh piano sound. What's wrong with me? My mom told me she'd sayegh the house for me on the weekend, and my dad says it's just a dream. Is this something significant?
I occasionally had horrific demonic, devil filled nightmares when I was in the Christian faith. I had these as an adult, because I was in my late teens when I started. In the dreams though, I was in control, protected and had no fear but saw other people being harmed. I haven't had any such dreams since I moved on to a more spiritually open and accepting belief.
In my beliefs currently, there is no devil,no hell, but there is a Mother/Father God, reincarnation, no condemnation and belief that I someday go to live with my creator when I am ready. The change in my beliefs affected my dreams. The church taught that any of the beliefs outside of theirs was of the devil. In fact, the subjects of sin, messing up, the devil, being tempted or tormented, demons, demon possession and hell got so much focus and promotion that one would think the so call 'devil' was getting more glory than 'Jesus'. He only got his during worship songs. Any sermons or bible studies, or other talks were so often on the negative.
The problem is that what we focus our attention on is what we create and bring into existence with our minds. The subconscious mind takes in what you are exposed to and experience and forms its own feelings about it, whether more positive joyful or peaceful feelings, or sad, angry or fearful feelings. Our emotions and feelings are stored in our subconscious mind. When asleep our subconscious mind is totally in control forming dreams based on what we believe, and what we desire or fear. Your greatest dreams come true, or terrors and fears realized will come to life in dreams. Sometimes if a person unknowingly has tremendous ability to focus their mind, also known as focusing ones intent, they can create experiences in their world while they are awake.
So this significance here is, if you want this to stop and get over it, you have to stop thinking about it or chosing to listen to talk about it. Focus on the opposite instead. That you are a child of light, created by God and protected by Angels from dark energies that other people unknowing create so of course they become real. But they have no power over you and no ability to harm you. These dark energies created by yourself or other humans, are attracted like moths to flame, to anything that reeks of Fear. Or other negative emotions in you, hatred, anger, unforgiveness, grief, sadness. I am not saying we all can't experience those at times. It becomes an issue when the focus daily is on negative emotions and feelings. I suggest you get your hands on books about Angels and read about that. Picture in your mind your angels, we usually each have two main ones, one on duty while the other attends to other tasks, I've read. Picture what they look like to you. Give them names. They can look like real people without wings, male, female. Your continual daily focus and talking to them by name will make they as real as the demons and such you used to focus on. When you make this switch, you will see things slowly get better. My angels have names and I am grandma age...there's nothing wrong with using our imagination to help trick our minds into making this more real for us. My angels for example are female Sophina, and a male Faramir. And they have their own distinct looks. You will also have to work on your thoughts. You will catch yourself often choosing the negative, scary or fearful stuff to dwell on. The problem with allowing one such thought, is that it will invite others to join it and soon you have a whole string of thoughts creating an entire scary story line. This act of catching one negative thought and replacing it with a positive one is something recommended by psychologists to people fighting depression too. Negative thinking affects lots of areas of life. I hope this works for you.
One of my friend is late in her periods always ,please tl me y its like that and what should she do to become correct periods
Well not knowing your ages, I can't say for sure its a problem that comes with a certain age group but If you are teen girls 17 or under, then yes it can be due entirely to age and no, its not necessary to go running to the doctor, not unless she experiences severe cramping or very heavy flows.
The irregularity of when a period comes and how long it lasts is perfectly normal. Why? Because the body at that age is still getting used to the changes of puberty and a great amount of girls will experience that irregularity even to the point of no period at all for a couple months before restarting or 2 periods only 2 weeks apart. You get the picture. It happened to me when I was 14 and I got regular eventually by 17 18. It also happened again at the point I began going through menopause, the same irregularities until it finally stopped altogether.
There is nothing the friend needs to do to become more regular if shes a teen. If we talking in her 20 or older, then there may be something wrong...not necessarily serious tho but more like hormone levels being off so she doesnt get it regular. She would need to see a Dr. in this case to discover whats wrong. Here's a link to the info on teens and irregular periods if that applies.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/irregular_periods.html#cat20015
I'm In middle school and I just got my progress report and I have a D in that class. The end of the marking period is in 3 days. I barely understand the class and my friends are really distracting even when I try to listen. I want to talk to my teacher about it but he isn't the nicest of teachers. He'll probably just ignore me. I have kno idea what to do or how to do it in only 3 days :(
Btw I only have one missing paper the rest are bad quiz and class work grades
Adviceman spelled it out perfectly. All those steps are what you must do at this point in the game.
Before hand, early on at beginning of the quarter after a week or two of class and you followed Soph0900's advice and studied hard and all, and you still dont get it, you must ask for help early on from the teacher. If he refuses, then follow the steps adviceman told you.
I am writing because I know at your age, I viewed some teachers as intimidating or scary or mean, (i had really nice ones too) but the ones who seemed mean or the ones with an unfriendly look to them, ended up not usually bad at all. I was also very shy and just plain afraid to ask for help so often it was my shyness or feeling dumb or insecure that caused me to not seek help.
More often than not, the problem with not seeking help in school when needed is all in your head rather than based in reality. Don't let your negative thoughts about possible outcome hold you back from seeking help. Also, its never too late to seek help and turn around the end outcome of passing a class.
A personal story regarding middle school and my kids:
I remember middle school parent -teacher conferences with all my children. I had put them in a middle school smaller than the main large one and known for purposely being a bit harder on the students to prepare them for high school. So in reality, though each of them got lots of C's and D's intially, pretty much 75 % of the kids did, not cus they were dumb or unable to learn, but for other reasons, like not asking for help, not having good study habits, not turning in assignments on time or totally failing to. Once they came to understand the importance of good work habits in school and regarding homework, and being willing to ask for help, their grades went up to A's and B's by the end of the year. As long as kids finally 'got it' and were ready for high school by the end of 8th grade year, that was all that mattered even if the majority of the time the grades were poor and only up at end of year.
What I'd like for you to think of is the grading system at school as nothing more than a combo of indicator lights on dashboard or the car and a measuring system. It can be compared to: using a ruler to measure if lengths of wood are all the same to make a perfect, not lopsided picture frame, or using measuring cups and spoons to ensure a recipe for dinner or dessert turns out right. As an indicator light, it is a warning that something isn't working right and needs to be looked at to be working right, like oil running low, gas low, car overheating. These indicators if heeded will save a person from more costly car repair bills in the future. Same with school. If you pay attention to what is causing you to have a poor grade and learn to take care of what is causing it in the first place, you'll have no harder to fix problems later.
And then, sometimes there just may be a subject that no matter how hard you try and how often you ask for help, you just dont get. In freshman year, I did so badly in math that when it came time to sign up for the next math class, i was automatically put in an Algebra class for slow learners, those having difficulty. I wasnt the only one, a whole class full who struggled. I went up to the teachers desk as often as I needed help to understand a problem and he patiently explained.He was very patient and tried several different ways to explain and asked if I understood. I never lied but told him I didnt understand. In the end after him doing all he could to teach me and I tried my hardest, I still got a D but I was passed anyways as in the scheme of things, as long as I took the class and did pass on other math basics, I still met requirements for highschool at the time. So no matter what happens for you with this class or any other class, remember the important part is to get the help you need to be able to do your best to understand, and if your best is still not good enough, don't be hard on yourself or think of yourself as a failure. We can't all be pros at the same thing, if that were possible, we'd all be brain surgeons, or scientists, or artists etc...
Me and my boyfriend have just started dating, and he already wants a kid. I am 17 and he is 18, I love kids, BUT I'm not 100% I'm ready. I am a girl to likes to go out and have fun. Any suggestions on how to handle it?
Razhies right. I agree with all she said. There is something very wrong with someone that age wanting to produce children right now. You would do best to break up immediately with him.
I am only writing in to give one more piece of info to support why two people your age are not ready to have kids yet (I had my first at 27) other than you not wanting to be tied down that way and wanting to be free.
It has to do with the development of the human brain.
The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and it doesn't fully develop until your mid-20s. Thats a scientific fact.
I've also read that for whatever reasons, some males these days are not mentally maturing until into their 30's or by time they turn 40. Perhaps its something in our environment that affects and slows down normal brain development and some people are more affected by it than others.
You will be ready to have kids when you are older, have found a Mature man who is in love with you, loves children, and is financially able to provide for you and the kids. Before that...don't let anyone force you into it to prove that you care about them or love them. That is not proof of love, that is only proof of stupidity or at least immaturity of the brain.
Good luck dear.
Hi i am a 19 year old guy with no where to go , and I am here because i need advice.... My fiance wants us to get her brand new car,that her parents gave to her, after we get married (with payments left) ......i will practically be paying for the whole car since its brand new and i think ill end up being in debt....what do i do ??
So her parents get into a car that they don't want to make payments on any longer and daughter needs a car so they give it to her as long as she takes over the payments or someone else does. You did not sign any contract being responsible for payments of the car. You are not obligated to pay. Even if she is your fiancee.
My opinion is:
Her parents are too immature in their thinking to pawn off their unpaid car on their daughter. What 19 yr old child is financially well off enough to be able to afford car payments. Its one thing if there only maybe 3 payments left on it and shes working and living at home and has no other real expenses and can pay for it herself. I'd consider myself an irresponsible parent to convince my child to take over the contract on a car I got into that I no longer want. The concept of a parent being concerned that their child has reliable transportation is good but their way of wanting to accomplish that for their child is a bit warped. What kid your age wouldnt die to have a brand new car. sure it feels good! But we need to look at reality as you are doing and consider whether it is practical at this point in time or not. I assume its crisis stage cus you have a Wedding coming up soon and once married will legally be bound to her debts. Have a prenuptional agreement drawn up that any debts of hers before you two are married are agreed upon mutually to be only hers and she will be the only one responsible for it. If she agrees to sign it, then all is well and you can proceed and marry without any worry. However once married, if she has 'rich tastes' and incurrs any debts, you will be responsible. If I were you, and I loved this person, I would rather go for a very long engagement like 6 yrs for example. My reasoning for that number is that it takes that long for our brains to be complete done forming and growing to their adult state. Before the mid 20's approximately give and take a couple years, the pre frontal cortex of the brain responsible for making good choices and judgement calls is not fully developed. I can understand her not having that capability yet as far as taking over a new car contract but her parents?!! Thats were this is sticking in my craw. If they want to be certain she has a reliable car, the parents should sell the car to someone who'll take over remaining payments and use the money to purchase daughter a fully paid, no pmts, used but reliable car. That would be the smarter thing. Giving her a car she can't afford now or after marriage is about as stupid as someone giving you a gift of a new puppy and saying, Don't you just love my special birthday/christmas/wedding gift to you? I am so thoughtful-I know you wanted a dog.This gift now makes you responsible for feeding this dog, taking it for shots and other vet costs, and totally financially responsible for it even though you can't afford to do it.
You may be smart enough to not buy the dog and wait as many years as needed til you can afford the care of one...same principle. New puppy, new car. Nothing wrong with the items, just taking on the responsibility of them when you can't afford it.
You say you both disagree alot...is it on this one subject or lots of things? You may want to call off the wedding and opt instead to live together for several years to see how it works out between you. If living together isnt an options because of religious beliefs, then dont jump into marriage and the legal responsibilities of any debts she has or will incur after marriage.
The two of you need to know already right now...this moment, how to be able to decide on any topic that will affect your marriage including a financial deal like this that will carry on over into your marriage. If the two of you can not agree now and argue over it, her getting a wedding band on her finger is not going to change her overnight or guarantee her being willing to discuss calmly with you anything that needs to be discussed and willing to compromise on it. I married at age 20. Boy do I wish I had waited until i was older 25 or so. I still had no idea what I was getting into, very naive and the man turned out to be verbally abusive. It is hard to be able to make the best decision that may affect our future for years later. Best to wait on any major decisions until we have matured enough to have better decision making responsibilities. Good luck!
I am a virgin and am considering having sex with my boyftiend. Can someone tell me what to expect painwise. How long will it hurt. Will iy hurt the whole time. Will i bleed?
You didn't mention age, so I want to stress that if you're a teen, discuss birth control ahead of time, don't count on the guy buying condoms or even being able to purchase them. Perhaps one or the other of you should make a trip to Planned parenthood to get some free condoms. If the two of you decide to make this a regular practice and become sex partners as well, then another trip to PP is in order to get on a better birth control like the pill, shot or IUD.
That said, now on to pain. I will explain in general and then add a link to video with a visual prop to give you an idea of what the hymen is like.
The hymen is extra skin that is stretchy and elastic to a point and covers a portion of one side or both of the circumferance of the vagina. Only in rare cases are there variations where none are at the sides but a strip going down from top to bottom at the middle in effect creating two much smaller openings to the vagina. In medical cases of this occurance, called Septate hymen, the girls could not even get a tampon in or out without extreme pain and difficulty and in some cases having to see a doctor to have tampon removed. The septate hymen skin is easily removed at a dr office with a couple snips and none of the females having it done reported any discomfort after wards. Other than that, if you have normal hymen, it needs to be stretched out slowly not abruptly.
A penis entering too fast will cause pain if not ripping also. The tearing is something that will heal easily on its own. Other causes for twinges of pain, though not extreme is not enough lubrication. Use liberal amounts of personal lube products like KY jelly or others. Most teens are too embarassed to purchase such a product let alone condoms and try to have sex without lube. While human saliva has been used on occasion to lubricate it isn't the best way and not preferable for other reasons. Best to use a proper lubricant that is also compatible with the latex of condom and wont make it deteriorate. When just beginning to enter, the sides of the penis can grab at the skins surrounding the entrance to the vaginal opening and kind of try to drag that skin inside along with and thats a pinching, twinge type of discomfort. Everyone has a different pain tolerance level. I can tolerate great pain so it may be a twinge for me, and great pain for you. Depends on the person. Lube applied before hand to your labia and the entrance and onto the condom clad penis will make all the difference in the world along with him entering slowly like just a 1/2 inch to inch at a time and stopping and waiting until your body and hymen stretches and adjusts, and then you give him the signal to move a wee bit further and continue this way until he's all in.
The hymen is a first sex pain experience. Being too dry can happen any time in your life so always be willing to communicate well with your sex partner including letting them know to adjust what they are doing and how if one things uncomfortable, not arousing you etc.
Another cause for pain is the woman not getting enough foreplay to be aroused. Arousal brings the following changes in a woman to prepare her for sex, a rush of blood to her genital area to engorge it, a release of lubricating fluids inside the vagina (though it doesnt necessarily make it to the point of lubricating the outer ring of the vaginal entrance before sex.) and the other change is that the vagina changes in length from its usual length of 3 to 4 inches to 5-7 inches because the uterus pulls upward pulling the length of vagina with it. Most men are average size in penis 5-7 inches erect. So if the average female is not aroused when that length of penis goes in, you can imagine there is possible discomfort. In this case, more of an achy pain due to the head of penis slamming against the cervix too hard. If you've ever felt your cervix with your fingers, it kinda feels like the end of your nose, skin over cartilage rather than bone but it doesnt feel good being hit too hard. A penis that is longer than the vaginal length even when you are aroused, substantially longer, can cause the only awful pain I've ever felt. The tip of the penis in my case slipped past the cervix to either the right or left side pounding into the skin there which made it hit a nerve that gave me what i'D describe as charlie horse cramping, or like hitting your elbow--the funny bone with its electric shock pain, or that pinched lumbar nerve that sends pains shooting down your legs. And it was extreme, out of every possible sexual position we could try, there was only one that kinda worked to not produce much pain. Needness to say, we broke it off cus we could not work out a way for both to enjoy sexual part of the relationship. I'm in my 50-s and through all my life, thats the only one time I ever had this problem so compared to the percentage of partners I've had, I'd have to say its very rare but still a possibility worth mentioning.
The bleeding part is like a couple drops, no more than you'd get from a paper cut.
If you mentally are not ready though, you will subconsciously be tightening all your muscles including those in your pelvic region and that will make it more uncomfortable for you. First sex is not a very memorable thing for the majority of people because they didn't know enough, it hurt or they weren't ready.
Your wanting to consider having sex because you have a boyfriend you trust just to see what it feels like, or because you don't want to be a virgin at your age are both not good reasons to have sex. A boyfriend asking you to become sexual with him is not a good enough reason for you either.
There needs to be a desire to have sex such as being aroused sexually by being with your boyfriend. You are excited sexually and you can feel your body already going through those internal changes and feel comfortable with him and both of you want to share this expression of your feelings for each other as a way to mutually pleasure and satisfy each other. It should never be all about one person only getting their sexual needs met and not the other ever. If you both feel this way, have taken preparations against pregnancy, then I'd say you were ready. If not, don't force yourself to do something you aren't ready for.
Because of that bleeding my wife is not allowing me to fuck her she is scared will she become pregnent what can I do she is telling she can only pregnent after her studies
This is your 3rd time writing in. What do you want us to say? That bleeding is normal? That F#*king only a females ass is normal, that she should allow you to f@#k her ass anytime you want to,that women can get pregnant by you sticking your cock in her mouth or ass? You can ask a zillion times and my answer will never be Yes because it just isn't so.
The only reason a guy might have anal sex with a woman is out of their concern about becoming pregnant. Vaginal sex is the more normal way to have sex and a woman can become pregnant that way, unless she is on birth control. I know sex ed isn't taught in schools anymore so guess what, it is up to you to teach yourself and study. She may be in school to study but I can bet my life on it that she isn't studying sex ed cus she seems to know as little as you do. This advice column is for giving advice, not teaching you all about sex, your sex organs and the physiology of them, birth control and pregnancy. We can answer questions yes, and your question may seem valid but I see the bigger picture....two people who are old enough to be married, adults presumably then, one in college and are engaging in doing something without any training or studies before hand. Thats as dangerous as putting a 16 yr old who has never sat in the drivers seat of a car and never studied anything about driving, handing over the keys and saying, go ahead take it for a ride. For everything in life we want to learn to do or engage in, there is a certain amount of knowledge needed to do so and that includes anything sexual.
It would be far better for both you and her to get some books from the libray or study on line on the internet together to gain some sexual education. You need to start from scratch with with they used to teach in schools when I was a kid in 5th grade...starting with the changes that occur in the females body, periods, how she becomes pregnant and for males education regarding their penis.
Frankly, I am surprised that growing up in this world, even without zero education on the subject, that neither of you have heard of birth control, for if you had, you would have checked it out by now I would think. Nevertheless, birth control is what the two of you need, and if you are low income, thats no excuse. Planned Parenthood can help with getting her birth control but if on pill, there are rules to follow and usage and instructions must be followed exactly as the Dr. says cus if you mess up one day, it could be enough to greaten chances of becoming pregnant. While on birth control, you and her should be able to have vaginal sex. Sex by oral or anal is more for the occasional diversion, something different. Not all women get any orgasm or pleasure from anal sex in the ass either.
Isn't there an on campus nurse for her to see at the very leasat? She should have gone to a walk in clinic by now for the bleeding. Does she want to die because she is too embarassed to see a Dr over bleeding from the ass?
Lets ask this one, have you witnessed her actually bleeding from her ass?
Pregnancy would have an impact on her finishing school so I can see why she wants to avoid it, thats why she should be on birth control.
Maybe she has her reasons for not being on it. Have the two of you ever discussed having children and under what circumstances you both are comfortable having any. She only tells you now about not wanting kids until school is done and telling you this at the time she starts bleeding. Has it occured to you that both of you really need to have a heart to heart talk. I do know what you based this marriage on, and if you ever felt that spark and chemistry with each other and were compatible as sex partners, but I feel there just may be a chance that sex isn't fulfilling to her anymore or maybe never was and she failed to say anything. If you don't know something needs fixing, you can't be expected to fix it. So discuss with her if she is being fulfilled, study up on how to give a woman orgasms. Both clitoral and g-spot stimulation do not require penal penetration, you use your fingers. But u have to know what you are doing, semen on your fingers inserted into her can get her pregnant same as cumming inside her vagina...it doesnt matter how the sperm got in there. this and more is what you need to learn. Both of you have to be committed to studying this.
If she has no time for studies, then at least a trip to Planned pregnancy is in order. Teens who have no money go there for birth control...so can you two.
If she's still bleeding, encourage her to see the Dr. because it could be very serious and she can become deathly ill. Do you want to lose her life over ass f@#king because the penis is too rough on that part of her anatomy and is causing these complications in the first place. Imagine how you would feel having to explain what she died of. "She died because I f@#ked her in the ass too often and she began to bleed continually and not see a Dr. about it and got ill and died. Ultimately, I was part responsible for that happening." A bit dramatic but I hope it shakes you awake enough to realize that neither of you are being adult or realistic about your choices here. Grow up and do the right things. Good luck
This sounds stupid even writing only I should know the answer but here I am anyways. I am recently getting divorced I have been separated going on 9 months there are no feelings for my ex our marriage ended way before that. I started going on a dating website site because I had moved to another state where I did not know anyone. I did meet a guy we've been talking for several months since November he quit his job in December just started working again a few days because I told him I'd leave him if he didn't find a job we'd go out I'd pay for everything he'd run around to some stores with me ask me for money he was asking me to buy him cigarettes until I told him no. He is very sarcastic. In return I role my eyes I've tried breaking up with him several times he begs me to stay not leave him he wants to be there for me and my kids be a father figure for my kids. I tend to look at other guys. Think their cute which I'd never do before because I find it being unfaithful.. I'm just looking for advice
You've been told what to do, get rid of him. However that doesn't solve your problem if you havent the faintest clue what you are looking for in a man and what you want to avoid. I used a dating profile too, and I knew what I wanted. I described myself in detail and then had a list of what i was looking for in a guy. Many guys found my list of what I wanted in a man too picky.
Bingo! Just weeded out a few right there... Guys who are too lazy, take things too personally often, react in anger easily. Yup, I got that in emails.
It's a tricky job coming up with the right profile. But its important to use it as a tool to weed out a lot of the undesirables. You haven't figured that part out yet I guess. Have a pad of paper handy and every time you think of something else you want to avoid in a man jot it down. Then make a column in which you describe the opposite of the bad character trait. If a person writes from a negative perspective like, I dont want some who is lazy, impatient, doesn't like kids, not willing to carry their own weight,etc...
The better way to state it would be, I am looking for someone active, a doer and go-getter, patient, loves children, and is a good provider.
Hopefully youll eventually get the hang out of it. If you find you need some guidance with the dating profile, you can ask me. I used it for 3 years.
Good luck
I masturbated earlier when I took shower. And it's my first time to do it. I stimulated my clitoris and I felt like really good. And I went deeper like an inch or so I didn't feel pain and it was really good. It was like 3 minutes of stimulating I felt pleasure but beyond that is just like nothing. I felt nothing after few minutes and I even wondered why am I doing this when I can no longer any pleasure. Pls help why is this.
The pleasure of the arousal state up to and including orgasm lasts only for a while...orgasm being the peak and then you come down from that. So yes, at some point, you won't be feeling anything as far as arousal. But orgasms do release lots of your feel good hormones, so you should feel more relaxed and content afterwards.
If you are not old enough to purchase a vibrator or other sex toy, I have heard lots of teens say they use a vibrating tooth brush minus the brush I suppose. There are also lots of vibrators sold as general muscle massagers which can be purchased by young teens. They are not meant to be used internally but work well for clitoral stimulation.
Part of learning how to enjoy to pleasure of orgasms is learning to understand your body and how it works to be able to have orgasms. I have a link to a 9 part series of lectures to medical students at a university on the subject. Part 4 and 5 get right to the part you need to hear and with the best diagrams I've ever seen yet.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVL_GudwAOI
and part 5
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnEJ6bcVFsI&list=PLHROYgtRnnKAdSQWyUzdDDdkls81azAm2
Im a 24yr old female and I've been married for 2 years now. me and my husband are trying to conceive for a few months now but nothing. My question is are there certain things we have to do to conceive faster? We have sex about every other day
Is there anything we could do to conceive faster ? Vitamins maybe ? More sex? Anything?
I've read about ovulation tracking kits and know they are good for tracking to find the exact day and time. Since you're trying so often, there's a chance it's not missing the ovulation day but something else.
We've heard about GMO foods for quite a while from both sides and I've read enough information that says a diets too high in GMO foods can have a disruptive effect on fertility. So why not at least try foods that are better for your body while trying to get pregnant. Heres a link to an article on it.
http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-body/nutrition/what-to-eat-when-trying-to-get-pregnant/#page=9
Here's a few others, avoid caffeine totally while trying to get pregnant and I've found articles that say even before pregnancy to stop drinking alcohol as it can effect fertility too.
Now we move on to sperm count. Stress is one factor that can lead to lower sperm counts in men. If the stress is over not being pregnant, it become a defeating cycle real quickly. Also, farmers have known for centuries how to keep the mals in a herd of animals from being able to reproduce. The testicles need to be bound closer to the body and the body heat lowers or kills off alot of the sperm. So the opposite would be to get pregnant, make him wear boxers if he is wearing briefs. I still remember my husband making the change from briefs to boxers when we heard this from another couple trying to get pregnant. It worked for us. I am sure there must be more on the net regarding diet and such. Just put in a search phrase, "What prevents ability to get pregnant" Good luck!
The Europeans hate them, Romans, Germans, Chinese, Indians. Hitler and the Nazi especially. I mean,WTF? I read number the stars, and was shocked at the Nazi. But that's nothing compared to the Diary of Ann Frank! What did the Jews ever do? Why are they hated so badly and horribly for there religion? I know they don't believe in God, but is that a reason to go all psycho-crazy-harm-kill-restrict-and-make-the-Jews-suffer? I'd like to know why people are racist in general. I live in a country with no segregation, but some people are really nasty in those areas. Like a boy called a girl from a south America a “dumb immigrant" and I know some children who say they'll only marry people in there culture. Laws in country's are really unfair, if God made us all, why is everyone shunned and humiliated for stuff like religion, race, sex, lesbian/gay/strait,etc.?
Hated for their religion? Maybe but there's more to it than that. Jews were singled out by Hitler.
But worse than that,in general on a daily basis, someone somewhere in the world is singling out another person from a culture different than theirs. And its not always about religion. Its not just religion that makes us ridicule, bully, exclude, harm and kill other people who are different than us. They eat different foods and cook differently, dress in some cases differently, have differing sex practices or orientations, sound different/accents, look different, act different, have different customs and ways of running their home or raising their kids, you name it, if its different people have a problem with it. The problem in general for the majority is not hatred, but that as humans, we are creatures of habit, we don't like change in our lives and we tend to fear that which is new to us, or at least be uncomfortable enough to avoid it. I would say its fair that some people do expose themselves to getting to know another culture and for some reason meet up with not just one but 3 or 4 incidences where someone from that culture treated us unkindly so we form a bias, or it happened to a friend and we take on their bias, all people of that culture must be rude and to be avoided.
I still remember my own incidences with a particular group of people from a particular culture I wont name to feed into the bias's, but the apts i lived in had parking that ran in a circle the perimeter of the apt complex of which half the residents were of this country of origin, because it was easy for the managers to collect rent cus it came from the state, paying for immigrants rent. So the issue was two different individuals who liked to block the one and only lane of the apts parking lot by parking their old car in the middle to do their own automotive care or repair. On once occasion, they had only just popped the hood open so I know it was still in running abililty and could be moved. I walked up to ask even tapping on the arms. You can't tell me both were deaf. They weren't blind either both chose not to look at me, or attempt to talk. If they did not understand English, even an idiot could tell what I wanted. I had to go to the manager for help. The one way drive through, I'd end up having to use to go the other direction cus manager knew they couldn't get anywhere with these people. I found out from the manager country of origin and as far as I could tell from research males of the country have no issues with talking to or interacting with females. I could find no cultural difference or reason so I had to assume they were a couple of inconsiderate jerks, much as you'd find in any country including ours. I am glad I chose not to become biased because soon after a female from the same country moved into the apt across from me and we became good friends. We have all a choice. But I am like the rest of humans, I don't like change in my life either, new location, new job, etc. and it becomes uncomfortable when someone brings a strangle looking food to a potluck and I discover its something i can't get my mind around to eat like brain, tongue or feet of an animal for example. If I was raised as a child eating that stuff, it would be as normal as chicken breast or hamburger to me. I run the risk of appearing rude for not trying it, but its silly stuff like that, people taking things too personally that start them being mad at someone from another culture. And these experiences are passed on to others who as a group begin to form opions. There are many others ways that the poison of bias, non acceptance and hatred for those different come about. It's all wrong but these are some reasons why.
So my boyfriend and i of almost 2 years broke up two weeks ago. We roke up earlier before and got back together for theee months jan-march. And we spent that time just kinda doing sexual things but not to the point if sex each time we saw each other during the three months. I just thought it was because we know each other so much and have bonded already so we dont exactly need it even though i wanted it sometimes either hed be horny and wsnt me to give him a blowjob or id get turned on and make him yeah. We practically see each other about once a week or sometimes two weeks. He broke it off and then told me that it was because he felt like he was just teying to make me happy in the relationship and that he was falling out of love. That he gave it his all the first time and this time he didnt try as hard. He told his friend(s?) about his situation with me and they didnt thinkthat we would work out. And he even used that as a reason to break up with me. There were two times however that we did have timeto hangout with each other as lovers without the kissing or sexual things. And wen we roke up i was emotional and asked him tell me were you happy during those two times because you laughed and smiled the entire day. But he didnt answer. Lately for the two weeks ive been in no contact with him hecause otherwise id be emotional around him if i texted him. But ive noticed and i have to admit i looked for it also but hes been checking gmy snapchat story even though i didnt send it to him for two weeks. And then once last weekend i texted him and asked to hang out and he told me that how about no youre getting rid of the bs on your wall so im getting rid of the bullshit in my life. Refering to my recent snapchat of my wall that used to have his posters and pictures on it. Well so far ive had one foot out the door for moving on but i really still want to stay with him because he made me so happy and our history together. I just dor know ehatto do because i feellike if i contact him asking to see him hes going to say some mean things. Can you please give me advice on hat to do. Ive been having dream about trying to get back with him for the past week and i keep waking up at 3ish because of it. An so when i wake ip i just feel sad because i know he isnt together with me anymore and i dont know what i should do.
I think he sounds fair. He actually gave it another try with the 3 months. When he said that " he was just trying to make me happy in the relationship and that he was falling out of love." that makes perfect sense and is very plausible. I don't think he was fishing for flimsy excuses as he did come back for 3 months. He probably could feel it after the first few days already that it didn't feel right, and he probably couldnt explain it like I can. But I have to commend him for giving it 3 whole months anyways to be sure it wasn't something else.
The issue?
You and he simply don't have the pheremone connection. It isn't something you can make happen. Thats what causes that spark between two people. We can operate pretty well without a spark between us, without chemistry, but eventually after a certain amount of time, one or both have no energy left to put towards trying to make the relationship work. Although relationships are hard work, there should be a love and desire, a feeling of 'you can't stand to be apart'.
Sometimes both people can sense its not perfect and somethings missing. But in some cases as in yours, something else is blocking your ability to see this or you do seed it but refuse to acknowledge it and let go...its called 'lying to yourself'.
You said he gave it his all for 2 yrs. And he found that did not work and his explanation: he felt like he was just trying to make you happy. Thats the key,,,he had to try-- meaning who he was as a person was not perfect for you. So he had to change who he was and was willing to do that in attempt to please you and make you happy. The problem with doing things that aren't naturally a part of who we are and forcing ourselves to become someone we aren't in order to please someone means that it takes more personal energy to be someone that is not naturally us. I am not talking about the kind of change where a person grows and matures as an individual, I am talking about changing totally who we are at core, our personality, our likes, hopes and dreams, how we look at things, etc.... He was so willing to do this but could feel that eventually he ran out of energy. So after the breakup, he got back for 3 months and felt the same thing immediately, that you and he were not right for each other. And yet even so, he stuck with it for 3 months. But he had no energy left to give to it, to being someone he was not just to make you happy. Obviously...he was trying so hard because he does like you as a person, he probably considers you a great friend. And thats why he could laugh easily those couple times with you. If a girlfriend laughs with you, does that mean she is romantically attracted to you and is in love with you? NO...so don't read anything into that.
When you texted last weekend, he felt he had a right to be huffy with you, you just weren't letting him go and leaving him alone. It's not that You are bullshit, the whole idea of forcing to try to make it happen is bullshit, and the fact that you won't take No for an reason is bullshit to him. You are now pestering him and making him angry. So ofcourse he's going to be angry. All he has to do is ignore your texts and not answer at all, not one word. I guess he hasnt figured that one out yet. Or change his phone number or block you from being able to contact him. Losing someone you never really had is a loss at least in your mind never the less. And people grieve over losses, death in family, loss of job etc... why not this. Ready up on the natural process for going through the grieving processs successfully and do it. Eventually you will get over him. If you are unwilling to do that, perhaps going to see a counselor may help you because your issues internally could be more than a break up, the break up only brought your mental issues or other problems into the light.
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