This sounds stupid even writing only I should know the answer but here I am anyways. I am recently getting divorced I have been separated going on 9 months there are no feelings for my ex our marriage ended way before that. I started going on a dating website site because I had moved to another state where I did not know anyone. I did meet a guy we've been talking for several months since November he quit his job in December just started working again a few days because I told him I'd leave him if he didn't find a job we'd go out I'd pay for everything he'd run around to some stores with me ask me for money he was asking me to buy him cigarettes until I told him no. He is very sarcastic. In return I role my eyes I've tried breaking up with him several times he begs me to stay not leave him he wants to be there for me and my kids be a father figure for my kids. I tend to look at other guys. Think their cute which I'd never do before because I find it being unfaithful.. I'm just looking for advice
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday April 1 2014, 9:15 pm: You've been told what to do, get rid of him. However that doesn't solve your problem if you havent the faintest clue what you are looking for in a man and what you want to avoid. I used a dating profile too, and I knew what I wanted. I described myself in detail and then had a list of what i was looking for in a guy. Many guys found my list of what I wanted in a man too picky.
Bingo! Just weeded out a few right there... Guys who are too lazy, take things too personally often, react in anger easily. Yup, I got that in emails.
It's a tricky job coming up with the right profile. But its important to use it as a tool to weed out a lot of the undesirables. You haven't figured that part out yet I guess. Have a pad of paper handy and every time you think of something else you want to avoid in a man jot it down. Then make a column in which you describe the opposite of the bad character trait. If a person writes from a negative perspective like, I dont want some who is lazy, impatient, doesn't like kids, not willing to carry their own weight,etc...
The better way to state it would be, I am looking for someone active, a doer and go-getter, patient, loves children, and is a good provider.
Hopefully youll eventually get the hang out of it. If you find you need some guidance with the dating profile, you can ask me. I used it for 3 years.
Good luck [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Razhie answered Tuesday April 1 2014, 12:57 pm: You know the answer. He's not looking to be an equal partner and a co-parent. He wants you to be his mommy.
adviceman49 answered Tuesday April 1 2014, 9:28 am: This guy is not the one. I don't know why your marriage failed as you have not said. One thing for sure though is you do not need another dependent.
You want a husband, someone who will share your life and be a 50/50 partner with you. Sure that someone should also want to be a parent to your children, though he can never be their father as your ex will always be their father.
From what little you have written I see this person as a true dependent and using your needs to get what he wants. This man is a controller and may be exactly what you are getting away from.
There are many a good men out there, men who like you who have children and want to find a good woman to make a home with; A home for her and his children and themselves. Don't jump at the first guy to come along who seems nice. Remember are moms always taught us to be on our best behavior when out in public. I believe this man is quite different at home or will be quite different if you make a home together. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
Xui answered Monday March 31 2014, 11:53 pm: You need to call it off
He is a moocher and isnt only a good role model for you, he sets a bad example for your kids. Sadly, When people mooch, All to often do they become used too it.
He isnt right for you, he isnt right for your kids.
You owe it too yourself to find someone who is serious, stable and respects you. Someone who ask for money, No.
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