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My Fiance and i disagree a lot :/
Hi i am a 19 year old guy with no where to go , and I am here because i need advice.... My fiance wants us to get her brand new car,that her parents gave to her, after we get married (with payments left) ......i will practically be paying for the whole car since its brand new and i think ill end up being in debt....what do i do ??
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So her parents get into a car that they don't want to make payments on any longer and daughter needs a car so they give it to her as long as she takes over the payments or someone else does. You did not sign any contract being responsible for payments of the car. You are not obligated to pay. Even if she is your fiancee.
My opinion is:
Her parents are too immature in their thinking to pawn off their unpaid car on their daughter. What 19 yr old child is financially well off enough to be able to afford car payments. Its one thing if there only maybe 3 payments left on it and shes working and living at home and has no other real expenses and can pay for it herself. I'd consider myself an irresponsible parent to convince my child to take over the contract on a car I got into that I no longer want. The concept of a parent being concerned that their child has reliable transportation is good but their way of wanting to accomplish that for their child is a bit warped. What kid your age wouldnt die to have a brand new car. sure it feels good! But we need to look at reality as you are doing and consider whether it is practical at this point in time or not. I assume its crisis stage cus you have a Wedding coming up soon and once married will legally be bound to her debts. Have a prenuptional agreement drawn up that any debts of hers before you two are married are agreed upon mutually to be only hers and she will be the only one responsible for it. If she agrees to sign it, then all is well and you can proceed and marry without any worry. However once married, if she has 'rich tastes' and incurrs any debts, you will be responsible. If I were you, and I loved this person, I would rather go for a very long engagement like 6 yrs for example. My reasoning for that number is that it takes that long for our brains to be complete done forming and growing to their adult state. Before the mid 20's approximately give and take a couple years, the pre frontal cortex of the brain responsible for making good choices and judgement calls is not fully developed. I can understand her not having that capability yet as far as taking over a new car contract but her parents?!! Thats were this is sticking in my craw. If they want to be certain she has a reliable car, the parents should sell the car to someone who'll take over remaining payments and use the money to purchase daughter a fully paid, no pmts, used but reliable car. That would be the smarter thing. Giving her a car she can't afford now or after marriage is about as stupid as someone giving you a gift of a new puppy and saying, Don't you just love my special birthday/christmas/wedding gift to you? I am so thoughtful-I know you wanted a dog.This gift now makes you responsible for feeding this dog, taking it for shots and other vet costs, and totally financially responsible for it even though you can't afford to do it.
You may be smart enough to not buy the dog and wait as many years as needed til you can afford the care of one...same principle. New puppy, new car. Nothing wrong with the items, just taking on the responsibility of them when you can't afford it.
You say you both disagree alot...is it on this one subject or lots of things? You may want to call off the wedding and opt instead to live together for several years to see how it works out between you. If living together isnt an options because of religious beliefs, then dont jump into marriage and the legal responsibilities of any debts she has or will incur after marriage.
The two of you need to know already right now...this moment, how to be able to decide on any topic that will affect your marriage including a financial deal like this that will carry on over into your marriage. If the two of you can not agree now and argue over it, her getting a wedding band on her finger is not going to change her overnight or guarantee her being willing to discuss calmly with you anything that needs to be discussed and willing to compromise on it. I married at age 20. Boy do I wish I had waited until i was older 25 or so. I still had no idea what I was getting into, very naive and the man turned out to be verbally abusive. It is hard to be able to make the best decision that may affect our future for years later. Best to wait on any major decisions until we have matured enough to have better decision making responsibilities. Good luck!
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This is coming from a 19 year old girl, if her parents gave her the car, YOU SHOULD NOT BE PAYING OFF THE PAYMENTS! You should be straight honest with her about you possibly going into debt. I think if her parents gave it to her, her parents OR her should be paying for it seeing it's hers. Don't let the girl get money out of you, I don't want to sound rude because I don't know you, but if shes expecting you to pay her payments you must make good money, so I hope she's not using you.
Hope this helped a little!
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If her parents gave her the car then I would think her parents would be paying for the car. Meaning the car is a gift from her parents to her. If her parents only supplied the down payment for the car and she is paying for the car on the installment plan through a bank then the car is not a gift from her parents, she is purchasing the car. This is what you need to know for it makes a difference.
When two people marry, regardless of age, it is a package deal. Whatever baggage they have in their lives as a single person comes into the marriage as joint property unless agreed to differently prior to being married. This is usually done in some type of prenuptial agreement.
Meaning in this instance; if your fiancé's car was not a true gift. That her parents only provided the down payment and she is paying off the remainder of the cost of the car. Upon your marrying that financial liability becomes a joint liability.
This is why it is important to find out if it was truly a gift. If so then you have every right to ask your future in-laws to pay off the car. If it was just the gift of the down payment. Then you have every right to ask you fiancé to give up the car for something more affordable rather than enter married life with such a large liability hanging over your head.
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