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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I recently suffered intense demonphobia. I had all the symptoms, and if I saw a picture of a demon (a real demon, not some stupid cartoon drawing) I would run away and be traumatized. Even if it wasn't THAT creepy. I asked my guardian angel for help and prayed for protection, remembering my nightmare followed by a panic attack, and I did the rosary and felt better, and after that I stopped feeling sick, and my heartbeat was back to normal, my legs weren't trembling,I started to breath normally, and basically the symptoms stopped. Now when I look at a picture of a demon I only feel a little queasy (to be fair they ARE really creepy) but I wanna know for sure this is over. Any ideas?

Same thing as watching scary gorey movies. When we are young, our minds are more impressionable.
Our subconscious minds are able to bring up fears and terror and anxiety and such, negative emotions if what we focus the most of our energy on with our conscious minds is negative stuff like demonic images. On the contrary, if what we have a fascination for and what we are drawn to is something positive, there will be no negative feelings coming up, only positive ones.

Ever ask yourself why you feel you have to seek out these images? It's not like its out there everywhere one goes in public. You're only going to see it if you go looking for it.

So the answer is simple. Stop looking at pictures of demons or devils or anything else that isn't something good and worthy of praise!!!

You must be religious so think about the following bible verse and try to adhere to what it says cus right now you're doing the opposite.

Philippians 4:8

New International Version (NIV)

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

i have this boyfriend we have been going together for about 2 years and we have a brought up sex a lot. i told him that i wanted to wait and he totally fine with that but when we talk about he says that he doesn't want to wait and i sometimes say the same thing what should i do

I don't know your age or his and it matters in what advice I give. You've dated two years. If you started at 13, you might only be 15, or perhaps you started dating at 16 and you're now 18 so legally, an adult. If you are under 18 and he is over 18, even if you both mutually agree to go ahead with sex, he could go to jail for sex with a minor.
As you can see, I don't have enough information.

All I know is you say you want to wait. Do you say that because of how old you are and you believe there is a better age at which to become sexually active? Or do you have any specific reasons as to why you want to wait. thats the part you didn't communicate to me. It would be easier to give you some ideas on what to do if I knew your reasoning and the full situation.
When you say he's totally fine with it, he's not trying to force you but he keeps bringing up the subject because he is ready at this point to become sexual with you, is that correct?
He says he doesnt want to wait. So what is holding you back? There is no rush to go into being sexual with a person. And yes it does change things in a relationship if you do. Some people rush it just to say theyve done it and do at age 12 or so, they've had sex and as adults looking back they say, it was terrible compared to what they have now as adults. We grow a lot in our self confidence as we grow older and mature in ways that making picking out the person we have first sex with, likely to be a better experience.
If the issue is worry about becoming pregnant, then getting on contraception takes care of that with a visit to Planned Parenthood.
So really, this is your choice to make, I can't help make any suggestions or point out any things specific to your situation until I know more. If you provide more information, I might be able to help more.

i like this guy and he likes me. he asked me out but i am not sure if i should go out with him because im not sure f it is a "date date" or a confession or he is using me. i am scared my parents wont approve him

Have your parents outlined any requirements and limitations they have on dating for you? Do you know at what age you are allowed to begin going on official dates? Since I dont know your age, its hard to answer.

A guy is interested in you if he asks you out. At this stage it means he is attracted to you. Dating or hanging out together is for the purpose of finding out enough about the character of the other person to decide if its someone you actually like and want to spend more time with or if beyond being attracted to looks, you dont have enough in common, or don't feel that romantic spark. So for now, if your parents feel you are not old enough to go on unchaperoned dates, or date at all, then here's how you find a way to hang out together more.

Ask the parents and see if its okay to have a male friend from school come hang out at your house. They're more likely to be comfortable with that as long as they are there and the bedroom door remains open. If they get to see a lot of him and get used to his character and know they can trust him around you, then there's no reason for them to disapprove when you are old enough to go on unchaperoned dates. During this time, you build a friendship and interest in each other grows stronger, or you both discover you aren't all that interested after all and move on to the next person.

So check with the parents first before giving the guy an answer. If he's okay with just seeing you at school...no problem. If he was simply wanting to spend more time with you away from school, and the parents go for him visiting, problem solved.

So now as to what to say to the guy, and how to answer him depends on what your parents said in part. The other part is whether or not you like him enough to want to spend more time with him. You said he's a crush and you like him so that shouldn't be a problem.

I think your hesitation and questioning comes from a confusion as to what dating or asking someone out really means. So I will try to explain.
There is dating to decide how much you really like a person and
There is dating as in an "official dating couple".
So just because a guy asks you out doesnt mean he is asking you to become his official girlfriend, not unless he already feels he's got a pretty good idea of who you are as a person from observing you at school and hanging out with you at school. He may only be wanting to get to know you better at this stage before wanting to become girlfriend/boyfriend. So its entirely realistic to ask him if he's asking you out to get to know you better, or if he is wanting to become official boyfriend and girlfriend.

The only 'using' of a girl I know of is for status symbol for a man but in teen boys, thats not first reason, usually those who are using a girl are only wanting for sexual gratification. His actions at school should speak for his intentions. If he has a reputation of having sex with all the past girlfriends and then dumping them to go on to the next, then you can bet that he is wanting to do the same with you. You won't be the special one to make a guy like that change his ways just like that.
If he's a good guy, then his intentions are one of the other two mentioned.

OK I am 13/f and I have this relationship I'm in that is secret.
OK my friend started liking me and flirting with me. I liked him too just was afraid that he might not like me back. So he asked me do me and him want to be together. At first I told him we should be secretive. The reason why I said so because were both in the same classroom and I like kinda been with three of them in there and one was before some of our classes were mixed together. So I didn't want people to call me names and stuff like that. Our relationship is good in secretive but it's hard that we see each other everyday and its hard not to hug or try to be romantic. So my biggest question should i keep it in secret or tell a few people to get the idea. Or just start showing people that we are a thing and soon they will figure out.
Love chatrat 😘😘😘😘😝😝😝

I am trying to understand why you felt the need for it to be a secret and your reason was "because were both in the same classroom and I like kinda been with three of them in there..." Hopefully I am interpreting this correctly and you mean that you, your male friend you want to be secretive with and three other guys you have also dated are all in the same class together? If I am correct, then most likely you are fearing the worst attack from other females, those jealous that you can get so many guys to show interest in you and wanna date you, or girls who simply call you a slut or something like that. They are just immature and jealous, IF anything like that happens. Basing your actions on what you think might happen is not a good idea. It means you are falling into the trap of allowing peer pressure to dictate what choices you make in life. Better to learn now to not pay any mind to what others say. Females can be really vicious with each other. At your age, the brain isn't fully done growing yet and its why teens make stupid decisions and terrible mistakes in how they treat others. Just know theres nothing wrong with you and this guy dating, it doesnt have to be in secret and if their minds are too immature yet to handle themselve in an appropriate manner then any name calling will prove nothing more than the fact that their brains aren't done growing to mature-hood yet. If I called you a hermit, would that make you a hermit. If I could get 50 people to call you a hermit, even though you aren't one...if called that enough and you don't have enough personal strength to reject the labeling inside your mind where it really matters, then your mind will begin to believe that perhaps there must be a reason why we call you a hermit and you will begin to act like one to be in agreement with our statements. and slowly you become a loner, anti social, wishing to go off on your own away from society.
Be strong, just be yourselves, enjoy holding hands and giving hugs at school. Eventually, when you and he show the kids that what they think doesnt mateter to you, then the commenting will die down. If you react to it, it will continue cus theyre getting a pay back. So keep it cool and don't react.

I'm a 14 year old girl and I'm meeting this boy tomorrow, I know he likes me and I kinda like him too!
But my problem is that we have never met before or seen eachother in person. We have FaceTimed before and we've spoken on snapchat, we can usually keep the convocation going for a while. I know that I am very shy around boys, especially if I like them or if they like me. I'm not confident with the way I look even though he calls me 'beautiful' ect...
I'm really worried that he won't like me when he sees me, I've FaceTimed him but it was kind of awkward because we hadn't spoke before other than online... I know for sure that tomorrow i will be so nervous to the point I'll start feeling sick, it always happens! I broke up with my ex because I was too shy and I don't want this to ruin it. I want to be confident around him and I'm also worried that we will run out of things to talk about, he said to me that if I admit i like him back (I haven't said yet) he will kiss me and hug me, I'm not too sure about that! I want to but I'm soooo nervous!
I would go to my friends or family for help but I just don't know how to explain this..
Thank you! X

So you kinda know him but arent totally comfortable with him cus you havent known each other in person? Well that's normal for friendship over the net where there isnt a face to face relationship so its good that you plan to meet in person. You don't have to feel totally comfortable and have full trust with him cus that is something that can only be developed in an in-person relationship and will take time. So if you aren't ready to kiss and hug at first meet, say so.

The other issue is your not being confident with the way you look. I think I am average looking. However before meeting second husband, I got lots of compliments from men who found me attractive as my husband does. I have lived long enough to know when it is a genuine compliment. You and I are bombarded by advertisers and Hollywoods portrayal of what beauty is. While I understand that fashion and beauty industry standards can not be actually met by any live female because its all a combo of photography tricks, makeup illusions and the rest, all photo shop. All the gorgeous female actresses you wish you looked like...look at what they look like in real life, without the makeup and trick lighting and computer alterations. I have seen several photos of actresses who I felt were beautiful and when I saw what they really looked like, it was nothing like what we see on TV or in photos. Its shocking. Real women and real beauty dont look anything like what we have been taught from infanthood to believe. So its bound to make you feel insecure about your looks.
Here's what you need to realize dear... some guys at your age are drawn into the illusion and think they want to find a girl like the ones in the media. Thankfully most guys have a more realistic idea of what real beauty is. Even so, in the real natural beauty realm, there are guys who have their own personal tastes in looks same as you do. We have our personal tastes in foods, music, etc. and thats what makes each of us unique. For example I tend to be attracted to men who are brunette and with longer hair. Others may be handsome too but thats what my personal tastes get me to give a second glance at.
Heads up on what not to do:
If a guy is telling you that he finds you beautiful, dont argue with him. Thats his personal taste. He likes the way you look. For you to tell a guy that he is wrong, or begin to point out all the flaws you think you have is a big downer for anyone even girlfriends. Dating coaches for adults have listed that one of the biggest things a guy finds attractive about a female is her self confidence. So if you continue to act like you don't believe him or down play the compliments instead of simply saying thank-you, your lack of self confidence in your looks may very well be the thing that takes a guys initial interest in you and kills it.

Another pointer is to stop the negative thoughts the moment they come to mind like "I know for sure that tomorrow i will be so nervous to the point I'll start feeling sick, it always happens!

It happens because you predict it. Your subconscious mind wants to help your dreams come true so if you state that you will be sick, nauseous and nervous, then even if you normally wouldnt get sick to your stomach, but a normal nervousness, your subconscious mind will force your body to actually do and experience that which you seem to focus on and make it come true. Thats a piece of psychology on how the human mind works. Can you get yourself to believe something positive in time for tomorrow? Maybe not...it took many times of you feeling like this to get to such a strong reaction, it will also take many times of battling the negative thoughts to begin to see positive outcomes, but dont give up, it'll happen in time.
For tomorrow, since you don't have the confidence built up in yourself yet, you are going to borrow confidence, like borrowing an outfit from a friend. I did this when going to a large party where I didnt know anybody other than the one person. I gave some thought as to what I felt my best attribute was, there will be at least one and then think of an actress that comes to mind who has that same actress. Mine was my eyes and I thought of an old actress not from your time, Sophia Loren. I imagined myself entering the party with her confidence, her captivating eyes. In my imagination I kinda super imposed her image on top of me. Not changing my personality or how I act, just the confidence an actress has that they are sought after for their looks. And an amazing thing happened, a half dozen people at least actually commented to me on my eyes how pretty they were...this was not just men but women also. I was dumbfounded it worked so well. So I now had my own confidence because I had people actually take notice of what I felt was my best feature. Try this tomorrow. Its the quickest thing I can think of to teach you.
In the long run you'll need to do more things to work on your confidence.
The best thing you can do regarding conversation is ask him questions about himself. People like to talk about themselves when asked. Hopefully he'll ask you some things in return. Have a couple of idea's in mind of things to ask that will get a person to tell you a story like "Whats the most embarassing thing that ever happened to you" or "What's the most interesting birthday you've ever had" or "Whats the most daring and exciting thing you've ever done." While listening to him, if anything he says reminds you of something you have experienced, then when he's done, tell him that story. Silence is also okay. If the conversation kinda dies and its quiet too long, to help yourself feel better...make a comment on the silence. "Wow, it sure it quiet right now. What are you thinking about?"
or I can't think of anything to say right now. But thats okay with me if its okay with you. I feel comfortable being with you even if we aren't having much conversation at the moment." That last one I have used many a time when out with a guy on a date...someone I didn't know too well yet.
This should help for now. Let me know how it goes and if you need any more help for the future.

Ok so I really like a girl, and honestly I love her, and I know teens say that a lot but we've been friends out entire life, and I've liked her ever since I can remember. Her name is Gwyneth and we've been friends since we were babies, and last year we went to school together. I thought I was friend zoned for years, but looking back I'm not too sure. I asked her to the dance once but I don't even know if it was as friends or as more. During the dance, I went back to a secluded area with my friend Bradley and we hung out back there. We were just talking and having some Dr.pepper lol and then Gwyneth's friend, Kate walked in and asked if I was mad at Gwyneth. I was so surprised and I told her "no why". She said they thought I was mad that Gwyneth wasnt dancing with me, and after all I was her date to the dance ( but I didn't know if we went as friends or more) I said that I was fine, but later Gwyneth walked in and asked if I was mad at her for not dancing with me. I wasn't but to tell the truth it would've been nice, but I didn't expect much thinking I was friend zoned. After telling her I wasn't, she said we should go dance, and I didn't know why she asked, if it was as friends, or if she even liked me. So we did but later that night a guy asked her out and they dated. The next dance we didn't go together but all my friends told me she wanted to dance with me and it killed me to leave her lonley but I couldn't be sure if she liked me, and if she didn't like me, I could lose a life-long friend. So I didn't dance with her at the second dance. I've never stopped loving her but now we go to different schools
Now she has a boyfriend but we go to different schools. and she liked my picture on Instagram for a wcw. I know that's really silly, but it's all I have left of her. she's had multiple boyfriends since then, it's only been a little less than a year.

So the question is: is it too late for me and her, I can't stop thinking about her, I'd do anything for her. It kills me because I had such an oppurtunity but I blew it. And sorry for the long post I'm at a new school and I don't have any friends yet so this is the only place I can talk about it and it's been killing me lately. THANKS FOR THE HELP IN ADVANCE AND I WILL GIVE ADVICE BACK!

If she is dating someone else right now it may be too late but maybe not, depends if she breaks up with him...then theres an opening to try. If she dates and becomes engaged, I'd say it was too late.
Now you realize that it is better to have tried to share your feelings with a girl and be rejected than to not do so and then continue on all your life wondering about the what if's, just what if she did have feelings for you too?

If you felt you might have been in the 'friend zone' I suggest you read up on it on line and put in a search like 'how guys can avoid friend zone' and learn what you may be doing wrong. Here's one of many I found.
http://www.manhelper.com/dating_sex/top_5_ways_guys_end_up_in_the_friend_zone

You'll see that you have to work on your self confidence and not fear rejection. A good way to not suffer as many rejections,( u will still get some) is to learn what signs to look for that a female may be interested in you. If you spot the signs of interest in a girl that you yourself have been eyeing, then it most likely she'd be glad to go out with you. Here's a couple to get you started learning.
http://www.ehow.com/info_8123090_signs-woman-interested.html

http://cavemancircus.com/2011/12/02/a-definitive-list-of-signs-that-a-girl-is-interested-in-you/
This last one is geared more towards younger females, teens, college age and a clear tactic of using their girlfriends to come talk to you on their behalf.
This was clearly a missed sign that she was interested in you. Though she was dancing with others, she preferred to dance with you and sent her friends to ask if it bothered you...she was hoping against all hope that it bothered you enough to come dance with her and tell her that the rest of the evening was only yours to dance with her because you care about her alot...you want the greater share of time with her. That would have confirmed to her your interest.
She may still be under the impression that you like her but not enough for a romantic relationship. So keep watching carefully, if she ends up breaking up with current boyfriend, move on in. Say something, invite her on a date and tell her in person how long you've had feelings for her but didn't know how to express them. In a years time, if she only dates short term, she's not really interested in those guys...maybe cus she may still be interested in you as well.
Good luck.

“They" say all magic is from the devil. “they" say that all magic is sinful, against God. But why? I know the bible says so, but, and I don't mean to question God: I DON'T!!!!!! Can the bible not know everything? Could the witch thing be based on the stereo typed, misunderstood witches of the past? My point is, some use magic to heal, help, BLESS, increase spirituality in someone, honor a dead loved one, banish evil spirits, would the devil give someone the ability to weaken him, and give good and happiness to others? How is white magic a sin? White witches are not using another source to fulfill needs. They are using the power within in them, their soul, spirit, whatever you wanna call it. So, tell me now, after carefully reading this, is all magic sinful?

It sounds like, from what you've written, that your inner voice is already telling you what is true.
The only one who needs to be convinced is you that there is nothing wrong with "magic". If you are trying to gather information to prove that magic is not 'sinful' to Christians you know....don't! It's a losing battle. Their soul hasn't progressed to a place where they are ready to hear this. The "They" you refer to must be other Christians, perhaps you attend church, on your own or with your family if you are a teen.
What you are doing is thinking for yourself, something that is technically not allowed in Christianity, (used to be religious Christian myself) you are told what to believe within a very narrow minded framework, and anything that falls outside of that framework, they label evil, sinful, questioning God, of the Devil, will send you to Hell. As you continue to grow Spiritually and come to discover for yourself the good outside of the framework of Christianity, you will slowly begin to feel less and less that you belong there, you'll feel out of place. If you are not yet an adult, and required to attend church with parents, you need to understand they are doing the best they know how. Don't hold it against them. It won't hurt you to attend and go through the motions and learn as much as you can about it. That background comes in handy when you do some studies on the comparisons begin Christianity and Wicca or paganism. I once read a book 10 years or so ago that went over how the author believed Christianity and Paganism are sister religions. Wicca itself is more recent like 1950 Gerald Gardner. But much of Pagan beliefs, druids and such, all followed what is also called earth based religion. It's not a religion though but a Spiritual path. I personally don't believe any longer that there is a 'one size fits all' religion as some religions believe. The majority of faiths out there thankfully are more open minded and know that since each of us is unique, that the liklihood is that of all paths, one spiritual path will be more meaningful and helpful in helping us grow spiritually. You used the word banish which I know none of christians to use, only witches and other pagans. So you must be already studying on your own, perhaps introduced through a friend.

I couldn't even begin to use the word 'sinful' as a spiritual being, to describe magic in a negative way as the word "Sin" itself doesn't apply, it is a word and belief of Christianity, not of Paganism. So since you are using words out of both belief systems, perhaps you are confused on a few particular issues? I'd be glad to chat with you further on any examples you give me. I am not a young kid and expanded past my Christian base in later years to come to accept much of what I was always taught was wrong or evil and have found it to be entirely not true. The things you list in defense of true witches is correct. What people mistakenly call witches when Satanism is practiced is incorrect. Pagans don't even believe in the devil or Satan so witches are not devil worshippers practicing black magic.
The word sin used originally in archery, simply means to 'miss the mark'. So when someones arrow missed the bullseye, it was called a sin. Missing the mark could also mean like being off track. Could you say that witches and other pagans are off track being using magic?
I have a great comparison on the Christians equivalent of practicing magic that pagans do. It is one and the same as far as I'm concerned. If you wish to hear about that let me know. Go to my column to write me as I cant respond to messages left where you put comments on this current answer. Blessed be.

Whenever I masturbate, I usually only do my clit, but when I tried it with my fingers, it kind of hurt. What else could I use other than my fingers.
Ps: I've already tried the head shower and the pillow humping.

Do you use a personal lubricant like K Y jelly on your clit and fingers when masturbating clit? If not, try that. If you feel pain when using fingers perhaps you are extra sensitive and don't need as much stimulation. Try more lightly. Using fingers on yourself is pretty much going to be less intense than using a shower head which you didn't say you have any problem with. Sex toys like vibrators are more intense. What you may be interpreting as kind of hurting may not be a pain at all but the process of the clit becoming engorged with blood and all the nerve endings in it aroused. As these feelings intensify, they can kind of feel like pain but are in actuality a building up towards orgasm. You have mentioned masturbating, not that you have experienced any orgasms. It can feel good and be wonderful without orgasms but if using lube, try going past what feels kinda like a pain and see where it goes...it just may lead to a mind blowing orgasm.

If too young to buy vibrators, lots of teens have said they use the vibration of an electric toothbrush, just not using the bristle head part.
Hope this helps.

There's this guy that I like, but I cant seem to talk to him from up close. Whenever we are beside each other and he talks to me, I just get all nervous and my face turns red. One time he thought I was allergic to something because I got so red and hot. How do I calm my nervousness?

If you have social anxiety with others too, its a different story. It thats the case, then let me know cus I have steps to overcome that I can share with you.
If you have confidence starting up conversation with everyone else but him then you already know how to start conversation.

Then Its likely a matter of feeling flustered, that feeling when something is so very important to you that you don't want to screw it up, like singing a solo part with the choir, an act on stage, an oral report in front of the class, taking a drivers ed class/test, or talking to a guy you are crushing on.

It's part a subconscious desire to make a good impression on him. You might be over thinking every simple little phrase you want to say but are too scared of his reaction to it that the longer you wait to say something, the more scary it gets to say anything at all.
And now you have that experience and the memory of it, him thinking it was an allergic reaction which could make your whole situation worse that now you may worry about something similar happening to embarass you.
I know how it feels. I've been there.
What I do that works for me is in a way face those feelings of fear, embarrassment or just plain awkwardness and unsureness of how to handle myself. Well, I no longer have these problems. Instead I started a conversation saying that I was nervous cus talking to guys is new to me and I get all the more flustered if its someone I think I might be attracted to. You can do the same. Ask for his understanding and patience and encouragement to help you if you get to feeling flustered where you usually become sweaty and blush or become tongue tied or say something really stupid.

Joking about it once he knows how hard it is for you helps. Like if I felt I stuck my foot in my mouth and just said something really lame to him, I would then jokingly say, "Okay, that was my one lame statement allowance for today. Now I can go ahead and have some normal conversation. Sometimes, its easier to continue on after the first mess up with understanding people, than to go through the whole time wondering when it's going to happen. In fact, I got to a point where I welcomed saying something awkward and having to correct myself early on in the conversation cus the first mess up releases the pressure you are feeling and that helps you to continue on without incident. I know its embarassing to reveal to a crush about issues you are having. But once you've done that a couple times, it gets easier because like I said, it helps to release the pressure that will most likely cause you to mess up in the first place.
Good luck. Let me know now it goes. We may have to work on something else if it doesnt help.

So, um, when i was masturbating in the shower, i started with my clit, it felt so good, then i tried for the first time to put my finger in. It kind of hurt. What do i do to make it feel good when i put it in?

Have you ever used a tampon, because if that fits, then your finger is smaller and should fit fine without any pain . You may hanve been so nervous about exploring yourself that way that you involuntarily tightened all muscles.
You may want to get some personal lubricant into the shower with you, it will help the sliding of anything in whether a vibrator, tampon, fingers, or when the day comes, personal lube before partner sex and a penis entering. You can slowly get your hymen to stretch by working with it often using lubricated finger and then adding a 2nd one and a 3rd. It's elastic like a rubber band and will stretch out like one too
So Try lube, if it doesnt help, you may want to get a good look at your vaginal opening to see if you can see anything wrong. Use mirrors facing you in well lit area, best if daylight coming in a window while you sit on floor in patch of sunlight, legs parted and hands parting the labia to look. What you are looking to find is if your hymen is stretched in one strip of skin straight down the middle, in effect creating two openings to the one vagina. These openings will be sometimes too small to get a tampon in and therefore possibly a finger too. And the tugging at that strip of skin will be anywhere from uncomfortable to really painful. If you have this, its called a septate hymen and is easily taken care of by the doctor under general anesthetics and they snip away that piece of skin. If you believe you may have a septate hymen,and can't put in tampons without pain/discomfort, you might want to see a doctor. Either tell Mom you have trouble getting getting tampons in, cus its too tight and painful and you want to see a doctor about that or if you are too embarrassed and don't want her to know, then go to Planned parenthood for an exam. According to the Hippa law, this will all be kept confidential, even your parents cant know without your permission.

Long story short I was dating a guy last year ended up pregnant and we broke up shortly after.. He threatened to take custody of the baby, threatened to have me jumped so I'd lose the baby, and also said when he gets visitation he would drown the baby.... Well I had to go to the hospital for cramping and he found out and assumed I gaff lost the baby so I just let him believe it and we haven't spoke since... Now I have a beautiful little baby and I can't help but feel guilty... Am I doing the right thing keeping my baby away from him and his psychotic behavior our am I doing the right thing to protect my little one.... Is it wrong that my son doesn't know his father it that this man has no idea he has a son? I feel terrible but on the other hand I feel I'm protecting my baby please help

An advice-giver mentioned all she went thru to try to establish a connection between father and child. After I read that, it hit me: About the visitation rights and all that legal stuff, more often the mother does that to sooth her guilty feelings of thinking of leaving the sperm donor father out of the picture without taking into consideration how harmful it may be to a childs psyche, what actual need in the child is going to be fulfilled if any. Young children growing up need a healthy normal male figure in their life whether an adoptive father, (step dad) grandfather or uncle. What they do not need (I heard this from people who've gone through the experience) is infrequent supervised visitation meetings with the man whose sperm created them, because there is no connection there. It is an uncomfortable time spent in the presence of someone you know nothing about, attempting to talk to them...about what? Its like you walking up to a total stranger in the park and trying to talk to him with the same type of quality conversation as if he was your Dad or brother. It's a time most kids regret going through, especially the more off the scale of normal the sperm ddonor father is. There will also be no respect for a crazy or psychotic person or an ex-con on parole, etc...Who is really being helped by keeping a child away from someone like that? The child. Most mothers come with a built in protectiveness and defensiveness toward their children. In nature even, mother animals will protect their young to the point of harming or killing whatever they see as a threat toward their child. Human moms for the most part are like that too, whatever the threat, instinct takes over and wants to protect and shield the child. That's a natural instinct and is there for a reason...men don't have it to the extent women do if at all. The child is helpless in a cruel harsh world and relies on mother to fully protect him from anything that could harm him. If this man were to be told of the existence of the child, that is enough to be real threat to the childs life. You never said if this man was on medication and under the care of a mental healthy professional? If he has never done that, then he is still as dangerous as before. Court decreed visitation rights won't stop a deranged man from kidnapping his child or worse, killing it. Once he knows of its existence, you've opened a can of worms and can never go back to your child being fully safe especially considering a man who may not be under treatment for his issues or not responding to treatment. The only time it may become an issue is if your child develops a medical condition in which Drs need the medical history of both parents. But you deal with that if and when it happens.
It is not wrong for a helpless child to not know their birth father. If once the child turns about 25 and his/her brain has matured to be able to make good solid decisions, then if you feel he needs to know that he has a birth father he's never known, only then would I tell a child, never before then. An a mature adult, if the child wished to meet the father, it would be up to him/her. And as an adult they would be
Good luck and blessings to you

I want two know if its hamfull if u skipped a day wot will happen sude u Lew it or drink it

I think I understood the first part of your question wanting to know if its harmful if you skipped or forgot a day...I will assume this concerns taking some kind of prescription medication, or perhaps birth control?

How ever not sure on last part of your question, "sude u Lew it or drink it" I am guessing the sude means should, therefore you are asking should you ??? it or drink it? No idea what Lew is.

You didn't provide any helpful information. What is the item that you skipped a day on using or taking? If medication, what is the name of it?
Are you male or female? What is your age?

If you sent this off a hand held device that does auto correct guessing, you might want to check what your final question re-written looks like before you send. So please write again, this time adding in the much needed info we need to be able to give any advice.

In the bottom of my heart I'm a pure christian. I love my God and try my best to respect his commands and follow them, but recently I've wanted to redesign my room. I want to buy a cute little buddah statue and place it next to my candle and amethyst rock which I think would give off a nice vibe. I don't see buddah as a God whatsoever, just another good person who gives advice such as MLK, Gandhi, etc. ect. Just anyone else. I wouldn't dare worship another religion or "god" except my God.
I just like the vibe it gives honestly, I like the look of the om, the message of Buddah, star of david, and just any other stuff. But thats all I see it as, other stuff to decorate my room with. I just want to know if you think it's bad, i dont think it is really.

If you do not like my religion at least find the decency to repsect it and be respectful.

I also see nothing wrong with it. However the only issue may be with your parents. I used to be the super taboo Christian mom just parroting whatever the Pastor said on Sunday. So my kids weren't allowed to read Harry Potter in class with the rest of the kids as a whole class assignment. Made them feel awkward. I regret that now. Hopefully your parents won't go overboard on this. As long as you explain that for you it is just a decorating idea. But between you and me, I'd probably leave out the words that you get a nice vibe from it. If they're highly religious and overly protective, that could throw them off and cause them to want to ban you from having one.

but d thing is dat y m i nt getting my periods
although i jst kiss him

Hard core band geek is correct.
So then you are left to wonder why you do not have your period.

It will be hard to answer the why since I do not have enough information regarding your period.

What I do not know is your age.
Or if you have ever started having a period? Maybe your friends all have theirs and you haven't had your first one yet.
Is it that You've had a period before and now you don't?

If you are a teenager, then a likely possibility is that you are having irregular periods which will happen for a while until you get older and your body gets used to the hormones that are trying to get you on a regular cycle. It can start regular and then go irregular, be shorter or longer than usual with shorter or longer gaps between periods and heavier or lighter flows. Its all normal and nothing to worry about.
If you are a young adult and your periods are not coming anymore but used to, something may have occured to throw off your hormones drastically and you'd have to see a Dr. for that..get your hormone levels checked and get a physical exam to see what might be causing this.
Good luck!

Hi! I am writing a story and I need last names!!

I have three characters so far.

Violet (blank)

Steven (Blank)

Damien (blank)

PLease help!! I just would appreciate some last names that sound like they would go good with these :) thanks

I am laughing cus I only got through half the question reading out loud to my husband when he exclaimed, "Quackingbush!" I looked at the list and felt it goes great with Steven. Not a common name so no one can forget the character.
For Damien the name Orion came immediately to my mind. For Violet, I think a last name starting with 'True' would be great, like Trueblood, Truebridge, Truedale, etc. I found a site with surnames of those starting with True if you want to follow that line of thought.
http://www.worldvitalrecords.com/browsesurnames.aspx?l=True

I write too and know how important it is to get a characters name just right. Good luck.

I am very much confuse me and are intermediate 4-5 times but now he leaved me what should I have to do if I got married with someone else one frst night he will easily know that I 'm already used and no will accept me plz help me I have no chance rather than suicide.

Are you from a country that has a taboo against pre-marital sex for women? Ever wonder who came up with that rule? Just look at the men. It is okay for them to have all the pre-marital sex they want and when they decide to marry they don't care if the bride is concerned that he has had sex before with other women. It takes using a woman for a guy to have had sex before getting married.
If a guy who has interest in you really loves you, it shouldnt matter. He would have to be willing to go against the expected social norms and beliefs of the country we're talking about.

If a man who has been sexual before expects you to be pure but it was okay for him to "ruin" a woman as he would call it, then he is doing the double standard. Its okay for him but not for you. This shows total disregard for women, more of a 'women are to be owned and controlled' type of attitude. Thats the worst type of guy to marry. If I were you, i would continually refuse to marry until I found a guy who loved me for who I was now, not basing his love on me depending on whats in my past. And there is no way anyone, even doctors can tell if you have had sex before.

It is a total made up fairy tale that all women have an intact hymen if they are virgins. No that is false.
Some womens hymens never tear and bleed. Hymens are like rubber bands, and can slowly be stretched out. Using tampons may stretch them, using your fingers in masturbation may stretch them out. May true virgins have been killed by family who thought she was not a virgin just because she did not bleed on her wedding night. That is another falsehood men came up with that was created just to suit their whims.

You do not need to end your life over this. If you do, then you're just letting the men who continue to spread these false beliefs win. Women need to speak up for their rights.

my age is 16 and i am a girl from india last month i got into a relationship on 9th but it was nrmal and i got my periods on tym but this month i have not yet got my periods ? can his regular kissing make me pregnant ? he slept on me but wid all the clothes on ? can this make me pregnant ?

No, kissing will not make you pregnant. By your question, I have a pretty good idea that you know nothing at all about sexuality, female and male genitals, and how they work and how a woman becomes pregnant. Perhaps this information is not available to you in India. I will give you some links to do some of your own study. I don't know if you'll be able to open them in India but its worth a try.

A cartoon on how women really do get pregnant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRpKabYJ8bU

Everything a teen girl needs to know about sexual health
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/

I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...?

It is possible for brunettes whose hair shows the red only when the sun shines on it or it lightens when exposed during summer to sunlight, to have the pale skin of the true redheads. This would be genetic. Somewhere back in the family line there is a gene of someone who had red hair. The skin tone comes from that.
As to why you feel you are paler than others,I wouldnt worry about it. Make sure to use high sunscreen protection or wear wide brimmed sun hats. Really light skinned people do not have as much pigment/melanin to their skin and that is something that can not be changed. So it is easier for people who lack pigment, to burn.

If you had lived during the Victorian age, the paler the skin, the prettier you were considered to be. As far as beauty goes, pale skin was popular then.

Sometimes when I climax I don't cum though the experience feels the same. I'm scarred thatmy testicles have reduced there frequency of manufacturing sperm

I am sure you tried your best to state your question but no one seems to be ready to even attempt answering you because frankly, your message is a bit confusing.

For one thing, are you saying you are scared as in fearful, or are you 'scarred' due to some accident in the genital area?
We could take a guess that seems most logical and still be wrong.

You don't give your age. I don't know if we're talking about a 15 year old or a 50 year willing old. Answers will be different depending on age.

Another question would be, are you concerned about volume or lack of ejaculation fluid, or actually about the amount of sperm in your ejaculation fluid. Someone concerned strictly about the sperm amount may be trying with wife to get pregnant and its not working so far.

As far as a male having orgasm without ejaculation, that is entirely possible and quite normal to be able to do that. And yes the experience feels the same. If it never happens, then it may be something to go see the doctor about to make sure there isn't something medically wrong that needs treatment right away.

If I haven't helped at all, don't give up, just please consider restating your question so I or others can try to better help you with advice.

Okay so. (Im using fake names here) Im a girl and really like this guy named Bob. Bob likes me back or I thought he did anyways. Bob's best friend is named John. John also likes me. I dont like John, I like Bob. But John was mad that I didnt like him and doesnt talk to me anymore. Understandable. BUT he forbids Bob to talk to me. Bob and I havent spoken in a couple weeks and he didnt reply to the one time i called him and left a message saying something like um i would like to hear whats going on from you and not anyone else because im really in the dark here and this is pissing me off. Bob likes all my pictures on instagram which is also very annoying because if hes on his phone he clearly got my voice mail and text. I dont know what to do because i really like him but he wont talk to me or explain what the heck is going on. I know the information that ive shared with yall because my really good guy friend (who is in the same group as Bob and John told me all of this) The good guy friend told me he would talk to Bob but hasnt gotten back with me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Im 16 btw. Everyone in the story is either 15 or 16

wow, sounds like John is a sore loser. If he can't have something, no one else can. Since you don't like him, thats his reaction. Very immature of him.
Maybe he's trying intimidation on Bob, teasing, ridiculing, bullying, or controlling behavior on Bob.
Bob sounds like he may be a gentle creature, not one to rock the boat and probably doesnt have enough self confidence to stand up to the peer pressure of his so called friend John. Thats not how a friend treats someone. With a friend like that, you dont need any enemys cus John already treats people like enemys.

If its so difficult to get Bob to respond to you by texts or calls or in whatever on line venues, then approach him face to face at school. Tell him what the other two advice givers recommended you tell him.
And from me, he needs to learn to not care what anyone else thinks, even his friends. His life is only his to run, and make decisions on. He can give over the authority of his life to someone else like John and allow John to pull the strings and tell him what he will and won't do for the rest of his life...no free will anymore, no doing what you want to do, just giving total control to someone else. thats a terrible miserable place to be. If he realizes he has some self confidence issues, then it might be good for him to study how to gain confidence. Can't say if he should have the family take him to counseling. But some books on the subject, maybe even talking to a school counselor might help get Bob pointed in the right direction. All you can do is your best to get these messages from all of us through to him. What he does with the info. is up to him. If nothing you try to hunt Bob down in person works, then right a letter and have this Good male friend of yours and his, deliver it to him, preferably when John is not around to dictate what happens. Good luck.

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