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how to stop my nervousness
There's this guy that I like, but I cant seem to talk to him from up close. Whenever we are beside each other and he talks to me, I just get all nervous and my face turns red. One time he thought I was allergic to something because I got so red and hot. How do I calm my nervousness?
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If you have social anxiety with others too, its a different story. It thats the case, then let me know cus I have steps to overcome that I can share with you.
If you have confidence starting up conversation with everyone else but him then you already know how to start conversation.
Then Its likely a matter of feeling flustered, that feeling when something is so very important to you that you don't want to screw it up, like singing a solo part with the choir, an act on stage, an oral report in front of the class, taking a drivers ed class/test, or talking to a guy you are crushing on.
It's part a subconscious desire to make a good impression on him. You might be over thinking every simple little phrase you want to say but are too scared of his reaction to it that the longer you wait to say something, the more scary it gets to say anything at all.
And now you have that experience and the memory of it, him thinking it was an allergic reaction which could make your whole situation worse that now you may worry about something similar happening to embarass you.
I know how it feels. I've been there.
What I do that works for me is in a way face those feelings of fear, embarrassment or just plain awkwardness and unsureness of how to handle myself. Well, I no longer have these problems. Instead I started a conversation saying that I was nervous cus talking to guys is new to me and I get all the more flustered if its someone I think I might be attracted to. You can do the same. Ask for his understanding and patience and encouragement to help you if you get to feeling flustered where you usually become sweaty and blush or become tongue tied or say something really stupid.
Joking about it once he knows how hard it is for you helps. Like if I felt I stuck my foot in my mouth and just said something really lame to him, I would then jokingly say, "Okay, that was my one lame statement allowance for today. Now I can go ahead and have some normal conversation. Sometimes, its easier to continue on after the first mess up with understanding people, than to go through the whole time wondering when it's going to happen. In fact, I got to a point where I welcomed saying something awkward and having to correct myself early on in the conversation cus the first mess up releases the pressure you are feeling and that helps you to continue on without incident. I know its embarassing to reveal to a crush about issues you are having. But once you've done that a couple times, it gets easier because like I said, it helps to release the pressure that will most likely cause you to mess up in the first place.
Good luck. Let me know now it goes. We may have to work on something else if it doesnt help.
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