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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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Hi, I'm a 15yr old girl ,from the U.S.A ,but i live in India.
I'm extremely confused about boys in general, Last year, i was friends with this guy and I didn't know he liked me ,because i'm very oblivious, when he asked me, whether I liked him, I got nervous and said no ,because my best friend liked him too. Ever since then, he hasn't talked to me ,but keeps staring at me and I DON'T KNOW WHY? One day, in English class our teacher, paired us up together and he still refuse to talk to me, and still the next day he kept staring at me! So, does he like me or hate me?

He's still looking cus he's interested in just you, not your friend or other girls. If he was only interested in dating just any girl for the sake of learning what dating is all about, he'd have continued asking girls until one said yes.

I can understand not wanting to say yes if you really did like him, because of a girl friend liked the same guy. Grown women even do the same thing sometimes.

Would you have said yes if your girlfriend did not like him? Or if she wasnt even a friend of yours to begin with? We all have to learn to make choices in life based on what we feel is best for us, not what makes friends happy.
The reason he's not talking is because he is politely giving you space, trying not to interact with you in any way, even in class because he has no idea how to act now that you rejected him.

If you don't like him at all, dont feel bad, he'll eventually get over it. How long it takes is different for all people. But great disappointment and heartache can't be avoided in relationships and dating. Its a part of it.

It's not too late to change things. You could go to the guy and tell him how you feel and how your friend feels about him and why you answered as you did to not hurt your friend. Perhaps he would be just as happy letting everyone think you two are just good friends rather than dating.
Depending on the age, or sometimes the chemistry between two people, it is preferable to just be best friends/close friends with boy than to start off dating. Let dating come in later years if you are still together and ready to move to a closer romantic relationship. Good luck.

I'm 15 and a girl. And I'm typing this on my tablet, so sorry for any mistakes.

I've known I need braces since I had a cavity a few years ago.

Sometimes I'll sit and rest my chin in my hand and if I sit lke that to long my teeth will hurt but other than a few things like that they realy didn't that much.

But about a month ago they started to hurt, bad. Every time I would eat and sometimes for no reason randomly. It would be in only one tooth, then an hour later be my bottom teeth on the other side of my mouth, amd was constantly switching teeth and sides of my mouth.

It was driving me crazy, and I went to the dentist but he couldn't n find anything wrong, and said that the only thing he could find that could be causing it is my 2nd Class Overbite and said he strongly recommended braces. So we set up the appointment to get them, (the 29th).

A few days later the pain stopped suddenly. But about a week ago the started again, but only the bottom left teeth. It's off and on. Sometimes a dull ache that doesn't bother me amd other times it's almost to much to handle.

I am going back to the dentist in a week so I'm not to worried, but I was wondering if any of you people could maybe help me figure out what is causing it or find something to help.

If dentist can't find any real reason for the pain, then there may be another cause that braces can not help. While braces are a good and can help with an overbite, there are other causes of pain in teeth that braces may not help. Read this one link for an example.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/292561-tooth-and-face-pain/

I have a daughter who wore braces. She had some jaw pain at the time. Her jaw has gotten worse and she suffers pain now that also runs along the long nerves that end at some of her back teeth. They are long done and over with. It caused me to do internet hunts to see what if anything can be done now that she is an adult with problems that consistantly get worse.

A regular dentist or orthodontist doesnt deal with a mis-aligned jaw if thats the cause. If oral surgery is involved as part of the correction process, the person doing that part would be some licensed to do Oral and Maxillofacial surgery. According to what I've read, it may include removing impacted teeth, removing wisdom teeth so they can't cause problems in the future and lastly breaking the jaw to re align it, something not as bad as it sounds, so they say. My guess is you need to see a specialist if you haven't yet. Here's a blog by a dental office addressing this issue.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/292561-tooth-and-face-pain/

My advice is to be sure your orthodontist is working closely with an oral surgeon who has reviewed your case and can advise if he needs to be part of the process of any corrective methods used to relieve you of pain that is due to misaligned teeth and jaw.

I don't know how strong your pain is to you but if its enough to disrupt your concentration on daily activities, ie school, work, even if braces is the cure, I would think that is a long process until the end result, so I am not sure your pain will disappear after having braces put on. If you have to wear them for years before you're done, it may be that long before you are pain free if braces can take away your pain.

I'm 17/f and about to graduate from high school. Although my culture does not allow dating, my bf and I have been dating secretly for 2 years. My family wants me to finish college before getting into relationships. About 5 months ago, my older brother and sister found out that I was dating and they were upset about it and told me to break up with him. If my parents found out, they would be extremely upset. Anyways, I didn't break up with him but I told them we did. I love my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a huge part of me now and I need him in my life but my family would probably never accept him before I'm done with college. What should I do?

Please note that I'm from a different country and my culture is very different from America. In my culture your family choose when you can start dating. If I choose to stay with my boyfriend and go against my family's wishes, I'll have to face consequences.

You are not 18 yet but you are close. Once you turn 18, at least in the U.S. you are considered legally an adult. If you live in another country, the legal age at you are considered an adult may vary.
As an adult you will become responsible for all your decisions that will affect you the rest of your life.
Some young people give away the control of their life by allowing other people to make decisions for their life. This is something you want to be careful not to do if ultimately you are interested in being happy. Those who follow the wishes of family due to cultural customs, religious customs or just parents wishes or the stronger "demands", end up unhappy because they are not living their life for themselves, but allowing someone else to live or relive their life through a child or a spouse, etc.

This doesn't even have to reflect culture, but simply as simple as granddad, and father and other male members of a family have always gotten a law degree. All sons are told they must carry on the tradition and forced in that direction. But the son wants to pursue a career in music playing a cello in an orchestra and is very good at it and talented. But he forces himself to please parents and follows law. But because his heart and passion is not in it, he may succeed and pass the bar but he does a mediocre job and at some point later in life goes through a personal crisis, becomes depressed or finally attempts to change vocation and follow his own path, at which point it may not be as easy to make a change with so many years gone by.

I must agree Adviceman made a good point, your issue involves a relationship out of high school and young relationships very often do not end up being a life long commitment. You may be the exception. If the only issue where you may ever disagree with your parents beliefs and wishes is regarding dating, then it may be best to just bide your time and wait to see where you are at once you graduate college. Unless he's going to the same college, a long distance relationship doesnt work out too well and you can not predict by yourself 100% for sure if you both will still be a couple after college.

My guess is that over your life, as you continue to grow and form your own opinions, thoughts, beliefs, hopes and dreams, there's a chance a few more of your choices will go against what your parents or culture dictates as the only way. At some point in time, you will have to oppose what you've been raised with. A good amount of us have had to face this situation at some point in life.
I have had to face times when my ideas and beliefs changed so much that I was the only one not going with the group mentality and I had to make the change all on my own. It could happen when you're in your 30's or older. As long as we are changing, growing and we're working on improving our lives, we'll experience times like this as long as we are alive. You can always find people who will oppose your decisions as well as those who applaud them. End result is, you have to be able to live with it, knowing that whatever you may be giving up is worth what you are gaining in the end.

It takes alot of personal strength to walk your own path, no matter what others believe. It hurts at first, you may question whether you're doing the right thing, especially when people try hard to convince you to change to their views. After some time when you don't, some people can end up cutting off any communication with you, families disowning children, religious institutions ex-communicating a member, etc. You have to be 100% sure that this is the path you want so you aren't able to be swayed by others opinions.

Through experience, both my husband and I have found that when we were younger, having someone older as a mentor, someone to go to as a sounding board, to get various viewpoints, such as what you are doing here by writing us, is a very helpful thing. It helps you gather much more viewpoints and perspectives that are non biased.
I am grandma age now and still, whenever i come up against a major decision, I still will tend to ask questions of others who have gone through the same, but ultimately the end decision is yours. The best thing is that your decision is a well informed one, realizing all the possible end conclusions and consequences, and being okay with it.
I wish you the best in life and the strength and wisdom to chart your own course in the best way possible.

This guy is obsessed with me. It's been going on for years. I had a feeling at first that feeling was confirmed when he wrote a poem. This poem was about me and it was sexually explicit. So I got scared and stopped going to the same places as him etc. So fast forward two years and I stopped being scared. So, I wanted to see what kind of feelings does he have for me. He likes to keep our conversations short which frustrates me. Its really hard to tell what kind of person he is or how crazy he is from talking to him. My conclusion was he is really shy and has a big crush on me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. When I tried to make conversation with him I asked if he had a Tumblr. He said “No”. I later found out that he indeed does have a Tumblr. Some other guy gave me the address. When I first visited his blog I became intrigued. Its erotic and I loved it Then I began to read some stories that he wrote. And what do you know? They are about me. It’s like I’m his muse. At this point he will not receive anymore contact from me. Because he is obviously sick and needs help and I don’t want to fuel his obsession. Also I think he is cyberstalking me. There’s more however I will not share at this time for personal reasons. What do you think? Thanks. :)

Some males are very socially lacking in skill how to interact with females in a normal manner. They can say or do things in public that creep a girl out.
We automatically believe that most the men with lack of skills and odd behavior and speech in approaching a girl is due to him being shy. I believe in most cases it's either shyness or more likely lack of knowledge and experience in speaking with the opposite sex and dating them that makes a guy act so awkwardly around females.
Then theres the last possibility, the guy has an unhealthy obsession. From what you have shared, it certainly sounds so. For a guy who's not dating you to give you such a poem to begin with is not appropriate courting or dating behavior. Once a couple have been together and professed having feelings for each other, a gift of a poem like that perhaps for Valentines day if they were lovers, is normal.

When a male is truly interested in a girl, he will be attracted by minimal surface level things he can see and observe, like your looks, laugh, how you carry yourself, etc... That is enough for a guy to want to get to know a girl better, which means approaching, talking to and conversation is to find out what things they have in common, learn more about each other. Words are cheap though and may not reflect who a person is at core, so then spending more time together to be able to observe each other enough to see if what they say they are and believe reflects what comes out in their actions.
He has done nothing as far as you have shared to attempt to get to know you better.

I am no psychologist, but it seems to me he may have only a sexual obsession with you, or at the least, a fantasy relationship in his mind that revolves mostly around sex.

If this is true, there's a chance he may not even want to try to pursue a normal healthy relationship. He may be perfectly happy with using the female of his choice as his fantasy girlfriend. This means he would make up the entire relationship in his head and imagine everything in detail. Since he does not know you and your character, he has to make it all up and so its entirely possible that not a bit of what he imagines is the real you. That might be why he is reluctant to talk and attempt to pursue a real life friendship even because he won't want the truth to crush his imaginary relationship with you.
No, this is not normal behavior. I can't say if it means he is crazy or dangerous. But since there's no way for you to know, I would say it is best to avoid any contact with him or do anything that encourages him. If you have more regarding him you have questions regarding, feel free to write me. Blessings to you.

since i returned to this website i asked maybe three different questions and they dont seem to be showing up in anybodys advice colum i checked different advice colums for them but could not find them anyway i hope this one does show up in your advice colum so you can tell me why i cant find my newer questions on this website thank you .

Writing to let you know I did receive your question. The only person I know of who has the ability to look up who a person is who wrote in and trace any other questions they sent in to see where they went or if the system is blocking them somehow, would be the creator of this site.

You have 2 choices. You write go to the Miscellaneous list and click on contact us. Its not a place for life advice, just for problems with the system. Fill out the form there.

Or you can also write an email straight to dangernerd@gmail.com, although if its' not done in the Advicenator system, I can't say if he will still be able to track what happened.

I will say that I suspect that if you sent a question directly to one advice columnist as you did with me, that the questions most likely won't show on their site as received, depending first on how they choose one of 3 options under the question.

Under each private question that comes in, we have options to 1.Answer this question 2. Refuse the question or 3. Pass the question on to other columnists.

So most likely, if you sent directly to other columnists, these people have not gotten on to check their inbox. Throughout the day our inbox is updated with the number of messages showing next to "Inbox" button that are waiting so i know to open it. I also get to see a number next to "Feedback" that tells me how many new ratings and comments are waiting for me to view.

I have never sent questions on here, only answered, so I have no idea what it is you are able to view as the questioner. But dangernerd is the one who could be able to help figure out whats happening.
Good luck dear.

Please help! I have noticed that on the bottom og my feet is a small ring. Imaginge a tiny engagment ring. Now imagine it under my skin. That is what is on the sole of my foot! It's while, and I have no idea what it is! What is it?

It c ould be ringworm.
Here's a photo, you'd need to go see dr. for treatment. Dont worry it has nothing to do with worms.
http://www.medicinenet.com/image-collection/ringworm_picture/picture.htm

I apologize if this ends up being a bit long, but please read and help me if you can. My sister who is 28, is an alcoholic. If you said that to her, she'd deny it and up until two or three years ago, I wouldn't have taken it seriously either.

She very much enjoys getting drunk. Not buzzed, not lightly drunk, but downright falling down, yelling profanities in public, calling people at 4:00 in the morning drunk. She feels that drinking is the only way to have fun, but she has no control and doesn't see the importance of doing things in moderation.

I HATE being around her when she's drunk. So does our mom and she makes both of our parents worry about her alcoholism. I get sick of her doing that to them and I wish she could see what her drinking causes/can cause.

I don't drink at all. I feel that alcohol is poison and although I don't think having a beer or two is a problem, I just rather not have any part of it. I may sound like a dork, but if you've been through what I have, you might feel the same way. Also, I don't see how drinking is so much fun. You act like an idiot, you embarrass yourself and the people you're with, you can offend and even hurt people, you do damage to your body, and you feel like death the next day.

My sister had a bachelorette party this past weekend and it was a total disaster in my opinion. She got drunk Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and more so Saturday night. I'm sorry, but I'm ashamed of the way she acted. Between acting like a total moron and mistreating those who went through trouble to make her party great, including myself, she was awful. If I could go back to Thursday night, I wouldn't have gone. I REALLY didn't want to go in the first place, but I knew she was counting on me. Strangely, SHE ended up being the one to let ME down.

Friday night, we were at a restaurant and she came over and sat in my lap like a child. When she stood up, she almost fell back in my lap which would have caused an injury do to the way I was sitting. Then, although she was joking, she started yelling at one of her friends, "Ali, f

So sorry to hear this dear. If it were anyone other than a family member it would be easy to totally Of course , shut someone like that out of ones life. If she is not 18 yet, your parents have a say but if an adult, no one can force her to go for alcoholic counseling. As you have experienced, her behavior does affect you. My husband went along with a friend to Alcoholics anonymous years ago as moral support. So he's familiar with the program. The support program for family members of alcoholic's 'Al-anon' would be a good thing for you and parents and any other close family members. We wouldn't know what changes they've made in the last 20 years so you'd have to check it out. He knew them to help you to know how to best deal with and respond in ways to someones alcoholism so that no one is enabling him/her to remain stuck by their actions, and learning how to set limits and rules for him/her to follow or break.

In public, is awkward, but you can warn sis ahead that the moment you deem her to have become enebriated, you will leave, and do so. THis can be done if visiting at her home. You have lots more control if inviting her to your and parents home. You can tell her that no alcohol will be served or consumed while she is there. She is not allowed to bring alcohol with her into your home.
If she shows up at the door with it, she must put it back in her car or she is not welcome. She is not allowed to come visit while already drunk, even if not drinking at the time or in your house. She most likely will not want to abide by these limitations but you are within your right to say so and it's not punishing her, it's protecting yourself and your family, same for your future children.

What you may want to end up doing is limiting get togethers'. Major holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas you might include her for example. Your own birthday if you do not wish her there, spend your birthday as you wish. A back yard BBQ is not necessary to invite her. If she realizes that as long as she is there, no alcohol will be served or allowed, and she can't handle that, she isn't likely to attend. I am sure you can get better guidance from Al-non and others who have had to already deal with the same thing of being let down as you have and many other things. It's hard to say enough is enough to a drunk family member such as the incidence with her and drunk friends taking over your room but you had a right to demand they leave and call police to take them out, including sis. If she gets so drunk she has no recollection of her actions and feels you all are being unfair, ask Alnon what they suggest you do. I would think today with most people having video capability with cells, that it would be easy to take video clips of her drunkeness to show her later why you ordered her to leave. This may help explain to her why you have set limits for her as far as family doing social events together. Hope this helps a little. And yes, I will say a prayer for her and your family.

15/f
Last night I had to go pee but I was so lazy to go I just stayed there and kept sleeping. When I woke up I went and I felt super uneasy down there. I feel like I have to pee every second but only a little comes out. After I pee I feel discomfort as well. What could this be ?

I won't know how bad your bladder infection is so best for this first time is to tell mom you think you have a bladder infection. It's a common thing for females. You will get them often enough throughout your life, even if you know how to take proper care to prevent it. This is something you can get that is not related to anything sexual or having sex so she won't think anything unusual.
A Dr. can give some tests and put you on medication to get rid of the infection. For those females who have learned to recognize that funny urge to pee when there's nothing in the bladder, the moment one feels that feeling is the time to take a natural remedy for bladder infection. If caught early, in the future you can drink lots of extra fluids and make sure that most of it cranberry juice. Cranberry tablets or capsules work too and are sold at health food outlets. You must drink a lot of it over a period of days until you feel that urge to pee is gone.

You can get UTI from not getting enough fluids or not emptying your bladder completely when you do go.
Irritants can get in, such as soap from washing or from bubble baths and cause the same problem. Avoiding use of heavy soap down there, and drinking enough fluids during the day, other than coffee and soda pop, is going to help.

Heyoo.
I am 18 and I've been experiencing breast pain, but not in my nipples. I am a size 32 a, and have been for years. I've checked other websites about this, and they've all said is pregnancy. I am not pregnant. I highly doubt the pain is linked to my periods since the pain is all the time. I've wondered if this could be growing pains? But I wasn't for sure since I am older with the same cup size.

Any advice is appreceiated!

Thanks bunches:3

You're of an age to begin having regular gynecology appointments during which a breast exam is usual as well as a vaginal one.
It is a smart thing to see a dr to rule out anything like cancer or something. It can but usually doesn't occur at your age.
Yes, I agree with the thought that a young woman can have a later in life growth spurt. So my guess is also that most likely it is growth related.
I myself have experienced that at times in my life, not with period but all the time.

Another thing that will change breast size too is becoming pregnant. Nursing will increase your size too. Even after nursing your size can change. Some stay larger, go back to original size or go to much less as I did. I was disappointed when going from a C+ while nursing to A or less after nursing instead of going back to my Usually B cup. It took a long time but eventually went back to B. Now at my older years, I fluctuate over the yrs between B and C and I dont have a weight problem, petite and only gain and lose 10 lbs naturally without dieting. So if a Dr. gives a clean bill of health, don't worry about these changes, you will feel a tenderness, light pain in the breast with most these kinds of changes.

Hello, I'm hoping you can give me some advice in regard to my almost 9 year old daughter and her "best friends" tumultuous relationship that has me concerned. . Just recently my daughter came to me crying and very upset because her best friend was mean to her via instant messaging (I went and read the messages to make sure my daughter wasn't lying about what happened and verified that what she said was the truth). The best friend was absent from school so my daughter messaged and her said "Hi, why weren't you in school today" and her best friend replied with "none of your business". My daughter quickly left a reply saying "I hope you aren't mad at me. I'm sorry and please don't be mad at me". I asked my daughter about this situation and she told me she just doesn't want her friend to be mad at her ever so she always apologizes to make things better, So after my daughter apologized, the best friend then called her and neither one of them brought up the fact the best friend was rude for no reason and they talked as normal until the best friend soddenly said to her "I don't want to talk to you anymore" and hung up on her. This situation is one of MANY of very similar situations that I overhear when their together, read over messaging or see happen via email. I try to always teach my daughter to stand up for herself and to make her see that she is allowing her friend to treat her badly and she shouldn't let anyone walk over her. I also tell her that this girl isn't being a real friend if she's doing this to her all the time but saying these things just makes my daughter more upset because then she thinks I think she's being a wimp. I told my daughter she should have asked her friend why she replied in the rude response of "None of your business" and hung up on her or at the very least she could have told the friend her feelings were hurt. My daughter responded "it will make her more mad and meaner to me". Seeing my daughter be walked all over and treated badly is BREAKING my heart and making me STRONGLY dislike this girl she is friends with. Being friends with this girl is making my daughter's feelings very hurt and it's breaking down her self esteem too because since she has been friends with this girl, her confidence has dropped and she isn't near as outgoing as she once was because she's afraid of the best friend always being mad at her. Do I say something to this girls mom, do I stay out of this and let my daughter deal with it or do I keep trying to teach my daughter to handle it in the way I think best so she isn't being treated badly? Please help - I really don't know what is best.

Razhie made lots of good points. You can talk to the teacher, but unless you have had this girl over and know her welland have observed a change in her behavior and are on somewhat of a friend basis with her parents to know how well they would handle your saying something, it's best not to.

I understand wanting to protect your daughter from the hurts and disappointment we find in friendships. This one girl won't be the only one. Best to teach her that it's something that will happen again with others and how to deal with it emotionally within herself. Teach her to not assume always that she did something wrong and to stop apologizing just to change someones mood, all that does is cause kids to see her as wimpy and they'll walk over her emotions all the more. Help her build her self image and see that sometimes, the issue lies entirely with the other kid.

Also teach her that there is nothing a person can do to change another person. That desire to change must come from within her friend, if the friends in question is making a choice to behave that way.
It may be family issues at home that have her acting up. If the girl has always been this way, thats one thing, but if her personality has begun to change slowly over the last year, it could be something else. There's a slight possibility its medically related as in hormonal changes with puberty. There are girls who experience puberty earlier than others. My daughters told me they had friends who confessed to having grown in their pubic hair by age 9/10 and were out of training bras by then when mine didn't wear any yet. We all have experienced the emotional highs and lows with hormonal change of puberty. Its worse these days for a great majority of teens. All humans, male and female are bombarded with estrogen released by plastics. We absorb it through daily life, it touches our food, bottled drinks, etc... and builds up in our bodies until we have as much estrogen as would be realeased by puberty before we reach puberty. I have come across this on the internet, not making this up. Read an article where moms shared their experiences. Daughters were out of control, not just the regular touchy and anger streaks but like that all the time, a total personality change and many girls ended up with experiencining depression too. Once Drs treated the hormonal imbalance, the girls went back to their normal lovely outlook. Your daughter is soon going to run into other girls over the next handful of years who have similar problems and lash out at a select few or everyone. She needs to know its not her fault and that this is a part of life. Once these kids are through puberty, they will go back to normal.
If it's a matter of bad home life causing the kids to behave this way, its an unfortunate thing we have no control over.

Your daughter needs to learn how to choose good friends. Write it out for her to keep going over until she memorizes it. If she can learn how to look for important qualities in a 'best friend' now, then she will be ahead of others when it comes time to date in later years and seek the person she eventually marries, because that guy should be as good as or better than a best friend to her and more. She needs to be taught what qualities are good and healthy in a friend and which are destructive and then let her choose as Razhie has said.
She won't learn unless you allowing her to make her choices and there will be mistakes. Never criticize her for her choices, just use them to illustrate points you've made earlier on what makes a good or poor friend choice. She'll figure it out eventually.

Hi. I recently posted this.....Hey guys, I'm 19/f and my boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 years and a half now. Our relationship is perfect except for one thing, and that is I'm not social at all. I'm more of a quiet, laid back person. My bf in quite the opposite. He loves to be social and I think he has been avoiding calling me because when we talk on the phone most of time he does all the talking and he talks for a very long time. Sometimes I interact and say a few things but I always feel like it's never good enough. He has tried to make me more social but it never works. Sometimes I think he deserved better like someone who he can talk to and get feedback and I'm not that person. What can I do?

And your response was.....Has something changed in your relationship? You say he avoids you and in your message that you merely think he has been avoiding calling. What any person thinks and imagines is not necessarily the truth. I can't say if you have good reason to suspect this, perhaps something you failed to share with us because what you have shared about how he treats you doesn't send up any warning signals.
If he is actually not calling at all now or calling less, he could be busy. Something may have come up that required all his attention. Maybe he is doing something for his parents or there was a death in the family so his focus is off. It could be just about anything that can disrupt the pattern he has had with contacting you. That does not mean he is avoiding you. If he is distracted by other family or work related issues right now, the fact that you don't know that, has your imagination trying to come up with a plausible reason for why he isn't calling or isn't calling as much if thats really happening. So you try to come up with what seems logical to you as a reason, and you of course would think of your differences. You could be right but theres a chance you could be wrong. Your sentence is a bit misleading and we could all be interpreting it wrong. While you say:
I think he has been avoiding calling me (That makes us think he has not called at all for some period of time) because when we talk (talking currently on phone calls or talking about calls in the past before he stopped calling if he did stop calling) on the phone most of time he does all the talking and he talks for a very long time.(Just because he talks that much does not mean he wants to be around someone just like him. If he grew up in a family who were all chatterboxes like him, he may find you to be refreshing. ) When you said " He has tried to make me more social but it never works", I sensed I had to say something. Nobody can make another person change their behavior. If a person wants to change, then that urge and want must come from within a person, not from someone trying to encourage and help them change. This may not be something that needs changing. You need to be happy with yourself. There are many quiet, non talkative people who are quite normal and will speak to a person at least when absolutely necessary. Now if you know you've been struggling with shyness or have social fears and wish it were otherwise and want to change, then you would need to ask us those questions. If you've asked him for help, then you can't blame him for trying, he's doing so cus he loves you.
If you haven't asked for help and are happy as you are and the actual issue is your feeling uncomfortable with him trying to "fix" you or "change" you, then that is the problem. He needs to respect you for who you are and you need to make that clearly known. I am just guessing on all of this dear. It's hard to really know what your situation is cus all we have to go on is trying to interpret the sentences you wrote and the actual wording you put in them.
Just because he tried to help you be more social doesnt mean he is not happy with you as you are. I dont know what he's been doing. Maybe there is a chance he misunderstood that you don't like being so quiet and private and all he was doing is trying to help. The two of you may need to have a good heart to heart talk next time he calls. Or you could try leaving him a message to call you. Good luck dear. If there's anything else I can help answer, let me know or if you have more to add to your explanation.

There's something else. He's Facebook has been deactivated for quite a while but he logs back in from time to time. We haven't talked for about 3 weeks on the phone and he sometimes text me good morning in the morning and when I reply, he doesn't text back. When I see that he's online on Facebook it hurts me so much that he has time for Facebook but not time to call or text me back.... What should I do? By the way, he's away on a soccer camp.

Oh, well if he' s at soccer camp, his schedule must be packed with one activity after another. He probably sents the greeting then sets down his cell and goes off to the next activity. I highly doubt they are allowed to carry their phones on them all day if at camp. But then who knows what the current day camps allow. As for why he has closed his facebook account, I can't begin to guess. I have a child who closed theirs and it was my best way to keep in touch. Last I heard, my kid is trying to re-find themselves and stopping family contact to do so. So who knows why someone would do it. Lots of guys I know who have facebook accounts are rarely on them, even my husband doesn't use it as much as I use mine and sometimes will go long amounts not posting anything at all. Maybe he closed it cus he rarely uses it. And he only gets back on to keep tabs on what you are doing. Can't guarantee it but its possible.
At his age, he's still young enough to not have had much experience with relationships. In their mid to late thirties, men have said they wished they had never made the mistakes they did in relationships when they were teens and college age, cus each one could think of several girls they had ruined relationships with that they actually had feelings for and now its too late.

When camp is over, he should be back to a more normal schedule for being able to contact by phone. I'll tell you one thing that I've heard from my daughters cus I don't like texting, that almost all guy s don't reply immediately or at all to texts. If its a spoken convo over the phone or in person, no problem, you've got his attention. But in texting, even I get tired of waiting for a daughter to reply in text and I think they have forgotten me. Guys tend to be even worse. I think men just lose focus when there is nothing around for them to focus on. They are task related. See something that needs their attention and help, so they go for it and are not going to be found sitting by their cell waiting for a return text. If you want to hear from him, wait til after camp and give him a phone call. Make yourself a little note pad with the basic things you want to say or update him how you've been. You explain yourself well in writing to me. There is a lot you have to share, and you don't have to share alot with all people, but the most important one to have good communication with is ones romantic partner or marriage partner. No one can really read minds. We can try to read body language but that alone doesnt help. So see if having a notepad with the basics of what you want to cover in convo with him. It may help if you are comfortable. Not saying to do that every phone call with him, let him have the ones he does all the talking but when you feel you need to communicate some things important to you or just had questions you wanted to ask, then try little helps like that. Work at it slowly. Ask a question that starts the convo the 1st time, next time ask a couple questions. If he asks you and you can think of answers just say, my mind goes blank. Is it okay if I write my answers to you to share later? I am sure he will understand. Hope this helps.

Hey guys, I'm 19/f and my boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 years and a half now. Our relationship is perfect except for one thing, and that is I'm not social at all. I'm more of a quiet, laid back person. My bf in quite the opposite. He loves to be social and I think he has been avoiding calling me because when we talk on the phone most of time he does all the talking and he talks for a very long time. Sometimes I interact and say a few things but I always feel like it's never good enough. He has tried to make me more social but it never works. Sometimes I think he deserved better like someone who he can talk to and get feedback and I'm not that person. What can I do?

Has something changed in your relationship? You say he avoids you and in your message that you merely think he has been avoiding calling. What any person thinks and imagines is not necessarily the truth. I can't say if you have good reason to suspect this, perhaps something you failed to share with us because what you have shared about how he treats you doesn't send up any warning signals.
If he is actually not calling at all now or calling less, he could be busy. Something may have come up that required all his attention. Maybe he is doing something for his parents or there was a death in the family so his focus is off. It could be just about anything that can disrupt the pattern he has had with contacting you. That does not mean he is avoiding you. If he is distracted by other family or work related issues right now, the fact that you don't know that, has your imagination trying to come up with a plausible reason for why he isn't calling or isn't calling as much if thats really happening. So you try to come up with what seems logical to you as a reason, and you of course would think of your differences. You could be right but theres a chance you could be wrong. Your sentence is a bit misleading and we could all be interpreting it wrong. While you say:
I think he has been avoiding calling me (That makes us think he has not called at all for some period of time) because when we talk (talking currently on phone calls or talking about calls in the past before he stopped calling if he did stop calling) on the phone most of time he does all the talking and he talks for a very long time.(Just because he talks that much does not mean he wants to be around someone just like him. If he grew up in a family who were all chatterboxes like him, he may find you to be refreshing. ) When you said " He has tried to make me more social but it never works", I sensed I had to say something. Nobody can make another person change their behavior. If a person wants to change, then that urge and want must come from within a person, not from someone trying to encourage and help them change. This may not be something that needs changing. You need to be happy with yourself. There are many quiet, non talkative people who are quite normal and will speak to a person at least when absolutely necessary. Now if you know you've been struggling with shyness or have social fears and wish it were otherwise and want to change, then you would need to ask us those questions. If you've asked him for help, then you can't blame him for trying, he's doing so cus he loves you.
If you haven't asked for help and are happy as you are and the actual issue is your feeling uncomfortable with him trying to "fix" you or "change" you, then that is the problem. He needs to respect you for who you are and you need to make that clearly known. I am just guessing on all of this dear. It's hard to really know what your situation is cus all we have to go on is trying to interpret the sentences you wrote and the actual wording you put in them.
Just because he tried to help you be more social doesnt mean he is not happy with you as you are. I dont know what he's been doing. Maybe there is a chance he misunderstood that you don't like being so quiet and private and all he was doing is trying to help. The two of you may need to have a good heart to heart talk next time he calls. Or you could try leaving him a message to call you. Good luck dear. If there's anything else I can help answer, let me know or if you have more to add to your explanation.

So my boyfriend and I broke up for about 2 months now and I was begging him to be back with me for a while.. We were together for almost 2 years and we've broken up once before but got back together after 3 months of me trying to see him and convince him. Well lately ive been in no contact with him for a month now and he's always checked my snapchat stories ever since. Suddenly yesterday when i posted a picture of me on instagram of my trophy from tae kwon do competition he liked it right away. What does that like mean? I still have feelings for him but im trying not to hurt myself with high hopes but its hard still. The purpose of me in NC is just for me to heal a bit, improve myself, and ultimately make him miss me.

Since I don't know your boyfriends personality at all, I would have no idea what his clicking to "Like" your picture means, even considering the fact that you both used to date.
When I click "Like" on Facebook for example (I'm not on snapchat) it can mean several things.

Here's what different reasons I click the "Like" button for.
1. I am merely acknowledging that I saw the photo or update a person posted about their status or like your trophy pic, seeing and acknowledging I saw the pic. Sometimes the photo is poor quality and I don't like it at all. Or the update status is over something I have no personal interest in but I want to support that person in what is important to them so I click "LIke".

2. Another reason, is that some saying or photo made me laugh. I may not totally agree with the words in a saying or with a photo, or I may not agree at all. So when I click "Like" I am not saying I agree with a statement or saying it captures my sentiments exactly. I am merely liking it cus I laughed.

3. And lastly, I was impressed in some way. What I saw or read was so cute, well put and clearly said, something I am already interested in, that I will click "Like". About 1/3 of these I 'like' will also get passed on/shared.

I am sure your ex boyfriend has several different reasons for clicking like. I can't begin to guess which reason he had for doing it. Men don't process their emotions the same way as females. So following a breakup, they will behave differently than a female would. It could mean what you may be imagining it to mean, but theres no way to know short of asking him. I would assume you both are not on a talking basis now. But if you are, you can always ask him what it meant. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

I do basically all the housework - which I am totally okay with. I don't resent my boyfriend at all that I do all the day to day cleaning. He's not a lazy guy or anything, and there are lots of reasons our lives work out that way right now. If things change in the future and I'd like him to take more on, I'll talk to him about it.

But right now, I really, truly am happy just like this.

My problem is that when jobs require his input, or when he gets an attacks of the guilts and forces himself to help, he complains a whole lot. He gets cranky, he swears, he gets frustrated. There is always some sort of stupid drama about something. It's not that he cares about how the cleaning is done, it just puts him in a bad mood and it's really unpleasant. He'd be more helpful if he sat on his ass and just kept me company.

So, how do I get my boyfriend to understand that I really don't care if he doesn't clean (I know he feels a lot of guilt) but that if he does help, he really needs to calm down?

My suggestion is to sit him down and have him describe his childhood to you. What chores did he have as a child? Did he feel they were fair or not? Was he disciplined often for not doing chores? What type of discipline? Did he have a mom who felt it was her duty to do everything for the kids meaning \"no chores\" and a dad who felt the opposite, that kids need to learn some family responsibility by pitching in? Just keep asking til you hit upon the \"Why\" of his reactions. Then discuss what you are okay with and that his reactions are not necessary. Tell him you will always do everything that is required in the running of the house.

If you think you may want his participation in the future, then he needs to learn to deal with his personal issues now because it will still be there in the future when you may need help. Lets say its not just boy and girlfriend but husband and wife and you have kids together. Could you really handle all responsibilities, 100% of the child care and raising, all the budgeting responsibility, the house cleaning, chauffering kids around, working outside the home possibly, doing all the housework, grocery shopping, household and clothes shopping, all scheduling of your calendar, etc?
You will suffer burnout because it is a two person job. You may begin to resent him since he isnt willing to help without whining and complaining like a child.

In fact, his attitude right now, is that of a child in an adult body. He would rather not have to put any time towards household responsibilities but have 100% free time and play time. He wants his life to be carefree as if he was still a child which means he will look for a female who is willing to be his mommy for the rest of his adult life. Apparently his mom or dad did try to train him to take on ownership of assigned tasks and he fought them tooth and nail by whining and complaining when he did help. He knows darn well that participating is important and the right thing to do and that is why he does so out of guilt feelings...but the childish whining has to go.
You can ask him if he wants to work on that and if he is, is it okay if you encourage and remind him to keep him on track with doing household responsibilities willingly and happily?

If he is not willing to, there is nothing you can do to change another person, he must execute any changes from within, from a desire and want to do so, fully dedicated to it. So all you can do is discuss it with him but theres nothing you can do to change him.

Here\'s an important point: If you can\'t change him, would that be a deal breaker to the relationship? No? Okay, accept him as he is then for now. But I predict at some point in future years, it will be a deal breaker and you won\'t be willing to be his mommy anymore, even if he\'s grudgingly doing some things. You\'re still in the mommy role if forced to listen to his drama and whining and complaining.

Boyfriend is withdrawing how to spark his interest again

Adviceman is right, you have not provided enough information for us to be able to give an answer. You see, there are dozens upon dozens of possible reasons for his interest in the relationship to be withdrawing. Just so you understand, I will give you some examples:
a possible couple reasons why a guy
A guy\'s interest level in a relationship can change when...

...a couple has a baby together and he finds himself competing with baby for her attention.

...the girlfriend doesn\'t trust him and is always questioning him, accusing him of having interest in or relationships with other women...even when he has never done anything to earn her distrust.

...a few months or a year or so has gone by and though he was initially attracted to her, in the process of getting to know her better, has found he doesn\'t have much in common with her and doesn\'t even have the chemistry to be attracted romantically/sexually.

We\'d love to help, but as you can see, we\'d be guessing forever and maybe still not hitting upon the why. And once we DO know the Why, then there will be other specific advice as to what can be done about your situation if anything. Some situations, there is nothing that can be done to change it, just learn how to accept it.

I wrote a question about a week ago about me begging for my ex to stay well he didn't and i tried to move on but he called me on monday apologizing after a week of being broken up and trying to make things work. I thought he seemed so sincere and we talked and I thought things were going to change. Well the next day he didn't call during his lunch break so I asked why and he just said I figured you were busy. Even though when I am busy he always calls anyways and blows up my phone until I answer. So of course I was a little upset and just told him it's no big deal forget it. He then text me saying "sorry I bothered". which pretty much meant sorry he bothered to even try to talk to me again... I'm so confused why would he apologize and spend hours talking about things we needed to work on just to break it off again the next day? He promised he wouldn't hurt me again.. I guess he lied about that too.

If I am correct, you\'ve written us more than the one time a week ago about this same guy. Lots of people have given advice. I really don\'t know that there is anything more to say.

Sometimes, we seem to end up stuck in life, and the most obvious situations of \"being stuck\" is within a dysfunctional relationship and yet we stay.
Not picking on you....just stating a truth that I know all too well from being in a relationship that was dysfunctional and yet I stayed. Each of us have different reasons for staying that go beyond the obvious one of loving the person. We may not love how they treat us but love the person. In my case, I did love him for about 20 of the 30 years we were married, but his treatment of me and the terrible marriage began to slowly chip away at my love until I no longer was attracted to, nor desired him or loved him.

The other reasons besides heart ties that kept me with him was :
Our church frowned upon divorces and most likely I would be shunned.

I knew I couldn\'t afford to make it on my own with the kids. I stayed to have a roof over my head and food in my stomach. The price was high, verbal abuse all of the 30 years.

And lastly, the prospect of being single again and going through the process of finding another partner was kinda scary. I was in some ways frightened of being alone because I was a very social person and knew I\'d always want to have someone special who was close to me, someone close to talk to and love.

I don\'t know what your reasons are that are holding you back. Perhaps thinking that something special about you will after time make a positive change in him. Thats another common thing women are thinking when staying in the bad relationship.
You and him sound like two components that don\'t mix well like oil and water. Oil and water will never blend to become something new. They end up broken up into smaller bits of themselves if you shake them up in a jar and when left alone long enough seek to regroup it self. the tiny round blobs of oil eventually separate and become one big blog all over again. A bad mix of two people can end up like that, constant fighting which is the agitation of the oil and water, that breaks you up inside,so you feel hopeful, forgiving, trusting, loving, confused, hurt, doubtful, etc and the cycle repeats again and again.
There\'s always a chance that one or both of you are actually making some common mistakes that end up hurting a relationship, causing anger and friction, maybe blame. If the ex is a husband and there are kids involved you may want to seek out a professional counselor for marriage, if its a long term relationship with many years put into it that you don\'t want to see go down the drain, it\'s worth having the both of you agree to see a relationship counselor.

To help any further with the confusion of why and what is the point? I have something to tell you. Believe if or reject it if you wish but time will prove me right or wrong. Here it is:

I believe that as souls, each of us has at least one big lesson to learn in life, something that helps us grow beyond what we first thought our limitations to be, go further than we thought we were capable of, growing personally, becoming a creature who is in one little way, just a bit more like our creator in that one aspect. We may not be fully there but thats not the point. The point is that earth is our school and life is the classroom. There are lessons to learn and there will be tests so that you will know whether you really did learn it or not. The hardest part is to figure out which lesson you are meant to learn so you can focus on it more fully.
Here\'s an example of what I mean: I had to learn how to love myself more. I thought I had a pretty good self image and I did but that wasn\'t it. This was more about setting limitations like one does about totally helpless defenseless beings like babies and pets/animals. I hear theres now laws to protect against abuse of animals. Children have protection too but the system doesnt always help being over taxed with not enough help. However, as adults, we are not in someone elses control, our lives are our own to live, as adults, we have a say as to what happens to ourselves. I was so focused on others, it took me a good chunk of my life to figure out that I needed to apply that same concern for well treatment to myself. I was allowing someone to treat me unfairly, negatively, delivering emotional hurt, and mental torture with mind games and other things abusive. The answer was actually simple, all I had to do was walk away. When it began to affect my physical health, I knew it was time to go. The only excuse that yet remained is how I would cope financially. More women stay in bad relationship because of that one reason, women get paid less than men so it\'s always going to be hard, we can\'t do it on our own.

So I knew I needed a support network of friends who I shared what was going on with, my parents were dead by then, family spread out over the country all financially suffering or incapable of being help for several other valid reasons. i had to turn to friends. When offered a place to live at no cost to make the break, I took it, but it took me away from my adult daughters and the onebeing still in HS who refused to leave and go with me. I realized I still had to do this for myself, put myself and my needs for a loving caring treatment ahead of anyone elses for once. I deserve to be treated as good as the family pet or his friends, and when I was singled out and treated worse and a counselor wasn\'t convinceing him to make changes, I had to leave. You see, no one can force a person to change for the better or to even just learn and grow up a little. Some people take a life time to change on one tiny aspect that is not going to make a relationship any better. And those kinds of people just need to end up alone, because they are incapable of currently being able to be in a healthy relationship nor are they willing to admit that they may be part of or all of what is causing the problem, or if aware of the fact they are the problem, they are unwilling to change. Change is scary and most humans are much like Hobbits who feel comfortable in their Hobbit hole, surrounded by what is the same and familiar as always. They will shy away from anything as scary as \'change\'.

So end of my story is that when we find ourselves \"stuck\', it\'s because there is personally something there for us to learn. If we can\'t figure it out or run away from the problem without learning a lesson in the midst of it all, then the lesson opportunity Will repeat in our lives, the circumstances and people, location etc may change some, but if you do not figure out what you are meant to learn from what\'s going on for you with this guy, then you will continue to face the same thing in some form or another for the rest of your life or until you finally get it and pass the test triumphantly. I unfortunately can\'t tell you what your lesson to learn is.

It may be something as simple as learning how to recognize good relationship material in a guy, or how to have higher standards and not settle for less, or a myriad of other things you may have to learn. I wish you the best in figuring out what it is because even if you decide to leave this guy without having figured what the issue behind it all is, then it will crop up in your future. As I said, time will tell if I am correct in this or not....I lived through it. As far as I can say, it is so. Best of luck dear.

yesterday I did not actually have sex with ma galfrand and ma dick was not really inside but it was somewhere near and I did not ejaculate is t possible for her to get preg please help

Since what you consider to be \"near\" may be different than what I or science considers \"near\" enough to be a risk of pregnancy, I will explain.

Sperm can survive outside of the body for no more than about an hour. In general, if the semen is still wet it may well contain some live sperm.

It doesn\'t matter how the live sperm gets inside the vagina for it to be able to get a girl pregnant.
If semen with live sperm (not totally dried but sticky/wet) is deposited anywhere near her labia (pussy lips) then they have the opportunity to enter the vagina.

Different ways the live sperm can get inside the vagina are by of course the obvious penis in the vagina sex.
However there are other ways, the little bit of precum on the tip of the penis contains some live sperm too. If this precum is on the penis at the time thhaveu e tip of penis touches the labia, theres a chance of pregnancy.

If the girl is giving you a handjob and gets precum or cum on her fingers and then touches herself down there right after while it is still damp or wet, theres a chance of a few live sperm making it inside.

If you have gotten any of your precum or cum on your fingers before you touch her clitoris or try to stimulate her inside the vagina with your fingers, she can become pregnant.

If you intend to do sexual stuff with her often, its better that she get on birth control now. She can go to Planned Pregnancy and it is kept confidential so no one has to know she is using birth control.

16/ female hi okay so a couple of weeks ago I wasn't even sleepy and I was on the phone with my boyfriend at about 11 pm laying in my bed and all of a sudden I blacked out and has this really weird overwhelming feeling in my body that I can't explain and then my heart and chest was heavy it was hard to breathe and then I could finally see but I couldn't talk or move, at first I thought someone broke in and i was being beat up or I was shot or just plain dying I didn't know, and then when I finally came too I was crying my eyes out and my boyfriend thought it could be sleep paralysis because he's had that before and yes there was a lot of the symptoms correct to it being sleep paralysis but they weren't all there and I wasn't even asleep. It kept happening about every other night for about a week and then stopped not being as bad but again last night I was sitting on my couch about 10 pm and it happened but all that happened was I opened my eyes and I had that weird overwhelming feeling through my body, I could barely breathe I couldn't talk or move even tho it felt like my muscles were moving. I was seriously convinced I was dying and I kept thinking over and over if I'm dying ease hurry and let me die because it was a horrible experience! I really need help someone ease help me with this! I give stars thank you !

I agree with the others, you must see a doctor. Perhaps you did not have any lasting symptoms and felt normal afterwards.
But that doesn\'t mean that this isn\'t serious or is now gone. You\'ve already had several episodes. When it comes to heart and chest and difficulty breathing, those are serious symptoms.

I have heard of strange non common medical problems that take lots of tests to figure out and were very serious medical conditions. If the first set of doctors you see can\'t figure out what is causing this and how to help, then keep looking. I\'ve seen enough shows of people who had undiagnosed conditions so rare it took years to find a doctor familiar with it and know the cure. You can\'t be sure that you have years to find out. Be serious about this. You need to talk to the parents or your guardians and get help. If they don\'t take you seriously, let the school counselors know whats happening and that you want to see a doctor.

My friend found a baby kitten at her work and I ended up taking it because she couldn't. It looks about no more than 2 weeks. It can bearly hold its head up and shakes when it walks, its eyes are fully open and it fits in the palm of your hand. I have a bottle for it and it takes a few drinks then pushes away. How do you know how much to feed it? Do you know exactly how old it i? Do you know what I need to do for a kitten this young? Please help!!!

Most people get kittens when they are old enough to be weaned and taken away from mom and adopted. Either this kitten was the runt of the litter and rejected or it somehow got separated from mother and may be very young. I doubt that anyone here is going to know what care to give a very young kitten. Thats better asked of a vetrinarian. Its critical you find out how to care properly for such a young kitten asap or it may die.
iF you don\'t have the money for a vet visit, try searching first for low cost vets in the area, call them and tell them the situation, exactly what you told us how you came across the kitten, how many days you\'ve had it. Ask if they can give advice over the phone or need to see it and how much it would cost or do they have any pet rescue type agency that rescues and nurtures animals back to health in the area that they can direct you to. If they don\'t know, try other vets until you find such a place, they\'re most likely to help the kitten to survive and thrive and show you what to do for minimal or no cost. I think such agencies survive on donated money and volunteer help.
Good luck.

I am i girl and i am a young teen. And i am 13 . I have this friend n we watch porn together.. Dont hate. We have been THAT horny that we hump n grind, but with clothes on.. Normally. A couple of time we have done it naked under a cover , n another time we like played with each other not put our finger up just did circles around the top of each others fanny. I enjoyed it tbh n she did to but weve never kissed n we r into boys still. But i REALLY want someone to like finger me but what i would really like is someone to lick me out .. But im definitly not gunna ask her that would be embarrassing . But ive got this other friend that watched porn with me before but not full on porn . N we decieded to play dares but we didnt no what dare each other so i searched it on youtube. I wanted it to come up with like kissing but it didnt. And i havmt had my first kiss yet(emebarrassing..)But i want to be able to kiss somebody. Im sorry for being long i just need some advice so pleeeaase help me :) thankyou xxxx

I have heard that it is quite common for two \'straight\' girls who are really into guys to explore sexual things together because it is lots safer---they can\'t be pregnant. When young especially it is a good alternative, not having to go through guys using a girl or forcing a girl to do things they don\'t want.
So either you and the friend decide to talk further about how far you want to go to take care of your horniness in the safest way possible for now.
And no, it doesnt damage you or make you become lesbian. I am a straight woman and have done a few things with women. As long as in your own mind you are okay with it, then it won\'t harm at all.

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