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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

I am thinking of using veet to get rid of hair but the way it works makes me scared of it. Anything that just destroys hair can't be good to put anywhere on your legs right? What about using veet down THERE?

Should I be scared? Should I try it? Help!

I have known for quite some time that our skin has a great ability to absorb (like a sponge) anything it comes into contact with. That includes things that you do not intentionally apply to your skin, like residue from laundry detergent on clothing, all the popular brands if not from a natural health store, have poisonous harmful substances in them too. the same goes for makeup, lotions of any kind, even the water we may be swimming in. So yes, you should be concerned. If you want to lessen the impact toxins will have on your body, you may want to adopt usage of more naturally, non toxic products for even such things as cleaning the house.

It is also a very real concern to want to have smooth legs and especially private area. However this article I will post lists what is bad in veet and it has more toxins than nair. One time use or very occasional will not seem to show any impact. But many chemicals our body takes in thru skin, breathing or eating can not be flushed back out of our system and remain. In tiny amounts, they do not hurt us. But over years, over a life time, all those tiny bits add up to one big amount that can bring on a disease or many health problems, even earlier death. Unless you also have an allergic reaction to any particular ingrediant, you won't feel that it is hurting you and is safe. So read this article and then decide.

http://www.mysensitiveskincare.com/hair-removal-lotions.html#axzz3bSTPhOK3

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Doesn't it contradict? I have numerous relatives that claim to be Christians but also believe people can be witches and wizards and inflict harm on others. It's a real fear to them and when you explain that someone likely died to some undiagnosed illness rather than someone cursing them, they only refute the idea and say that I won't understand it til I see it myself. But to be Christian is to believe God has power over all and you don't need to see a blatant miracle to believe, so it just seems hypocritical to me to live in such fear, and with such disrespect to scientific facts and at the same time say that God leads us over green pastures. as a Catholic, I dont see how science and my religion contradict. My religion is the morals and science is the process to me, and both have room to grow in interpretation. The breakthroughs in both science and religion give me a better appreciation of God. But if someone died of undiagnosed cancer I just don't see how it's logical to say it was due to witchcraft when it can be clearly proven as cancer. That's just some kind of wishful thinking. But I'd appreciate any advice, it's annoying when someone thinks you're cursed by another human being with mystical powers for no provable reason, and nobody believes you when you refute it.i it's also scary for the people accused of being witches or wizards cause how could they refute it? Even if they are evil in heart, make shrines and wish others harm I don't believe that actually means they have any more power than anyone else. I don't go forcing my religious beliefs on others of other faiths, but how can someone say a belief in witchcraft is doesn't contradict Catholicism when that isn't in any doctrine Im aware of? It's like me saying everyone who isn't catholic will go to hell, when Catholicism says only God truly knows. People in my family talk about witchcraft so absolutely like that and it's weird that I'm the only one I know in my family that isn't so quick to jump on a bandwagon that is not only unprovable but also of negative influence. Hypothetically, if there's no god, church still helps me into becoming more disciplined and functional in society. A belief in witchcraft only creates fear and other negativity.

First of all, I would like to straighten out a piece of information many uninformed people get wrong. Pagans, Wiccans and Witches are a quite different thing from Blackmagic, and Satanisn. With the former, their creed they live by is "And it harm none, do as you will. So in essense, if what you do does no harm to yourself or anyone else, then it's okay to do. That is not the intent however of people involved in Black-magic and Satanism.

That said, now I have a question for you to really think through. If you believe we are made in Gods image, what exactly does that mean to do? God obviously does not have a mortal body, thats only to house our soul. So, it stands to reason, as Gods children our souls are made to carry his traits. But do all children behave perfect from the moment they are born? NO, they have to learn and they learn by choosing to copy God. At baby hood, even though we have legs, we can't walk yet like adults. Same for our souls, we have traits, abilities within us just like Gods spirit. So being made in his image is not so much looks now but capabilities and traits. The point I am getting at is that our souls do in fact have, (to a lesser extent tho) the ability to create, as God does. The power of the mind and intent is very awesome. Even Jesus said we would go on to do greater things than him.

The point I am getting to is that regardless of what belief a person labels themself or claims to adher to, we all have the ability to choose to do good and be very successful at it, or to do the opposite and also have success at it.

In the end, can both Christians and Blackmagic practicers have success with their intentions? Yes, pretty much if they understand how this works. Because an intention starts as a mind thought, it's the focus and visualization that help it along. So prayer and practicing spells actually have something in common. In prayer, our intent is to see someone healed but we do not focus on it, we simply ask God to do His will. He will is for all of us to come to love Him and to love every soul on earth as their greater extended 'family'. In spell work, a person has the same intent, to see someone healed who is ill. The focus instead is shifted. Such a person recognizes that God gave them the ability to be able to do the sameas he did, and one of those things is Heal. There are natural energy healers, like Reiki, where the person uses symbols they draw in the air, use visualization, to bring about a good result in healing. While they may not claim to be witches, the process is exactly the same. I know as I do energy healing, have lots of pagan friends, the kind loving good ones, and grew up in church. Just because someone is a witch or pagan doesnt mean they worship Satan and in fact, they generally do not believe in the devil. but do acknowledge that there is evil intent and presences out there.
And so, they will protect themselves, much like a Christian does, using the armor of God to put on. they just call it different, as it actually is, God is Light, so they visualize a bubble of Gods light surrounding them, a force field that nothing of evil intent can go through.
We are made up of energy and our energy field extends quite a ways beyond our body if you haven't heard about that.
So all in all, is there anything to fear? No. Because you can protect yourself, you can call on your angels, yes they believe in angels too. But you want to keep focusing on visualizing your protection in place not once a week but on a daily basis.
We have an energy crisis on earth because we use up the energy source we have...gas...and think on finite terms when energy is actually an infinite thing, always flowing, never runs out. In human terms, we can find other ways to create energy that keeps regenerating energy, not using up. In spiritual terms, energy is always there, we simply need to take the steps to harness it and focus our intent to use it, either for good or evil. So, there is such a thing as witch craft, or the craft as it is called, that is of good intent. As you'll find in life, there are rotten apples to be found in every walk of life. Its not restricted to a particular race, choice of profession, religion, etc....
I do still pray or 'talk to god all the time, the same God as I knew from Christian life in the church, however I now believe also a broader spectrum, knowing that almost every faith out there has at least a nugget of truth in them, Gods truth, just worded a little different, but also, every faith also has their misconceptions, misinterpretations and outright lies.

You are right that what your family is doing is not right, for they are practicing Black magic. And a person can not intentionally practice such a thing and still claim to be children of light, of God. They are no more Christian than a mouse found in a cookie jar can be called a cookie.

They are choosing to believe what they want, that someone dies of a curse. But even if you haven't used protective visualization or angels protections, if there is something you must need to remain on the earth for, then angels will still step in and prevent a person from doing a spell to harm you. I knew such a person once, he got so angry at me that one night he tried to do a spell to harm me. He was astounded when an angel appeared to him and said, I can not allow you to do that. God gives us a free will, and so whether for good or evil, we have free rein to do whichever and God won't interfere and force us to stop our bad intents, but He sure as heck can protect a person if they haven't remembered to reset their own protection. And thats what my angel did. this person was so surprised, they actually told me a couple days later.

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I'm so worried about dating. I'm 18 and in university and I haven't dated anyone or even kissed a guy. I do want to eventually settle down and I have had crushed on guys but it's just so hard for me to talk to them and I feel that sometimes it's just not worth the effort. Then there is a the whole virginity thing, in my culture it's expected that I will only lose my virginity after marriage and I want it to be that way, but it seems so unlikely that someone will want to wait that long! I don't know how to find out if they would or not! Even guys from my culture aren't interested as far as I know! I'm not really sure what kind of advice I want but anything would be helpful I guess! Have you experienced anything similar?

There are plusses and minuses to both sides dear.
Understand first that the practice of remaining a virgin til marriage was once instigated ages ago for men to know whether a child was his or not. It wasn't about raising and caring for one that wasn't his, but actually having a blood related heir to passing their holdings and estate on to. Paternity tests are only a thing of modern times.
Back then, a girl remaining virgin guaranteed that she wasn't already carrying a lovers child when she married her husband. That practice was used ONLY for that reason back then. And in todays time, it has been pointless to use for that reason when there is such a thing as birth control to prevent getting pregnant before finding your mate for life, condoms to prevent getting an STD.
I was a virgin when I married as I was part of the CHristian church and they too taught this custom of remaining a virgin til marriage. I was, fiancee wasn't. Until I became married and all that followed, I would have been the first to say, wait til marriage. I just want to toss out a possibility that can ruin a marriage for virgins.

My experience: We felt the excitement of new experience, new person when dating and getting engaged. I took it to mean we had the chemistry to make the sex life part of relationship work. This is the same level of excitement a child has anticipating birthday or christmas and knowing all the gifts they'll have to open. With a relationship, its even stronger but still not the real thing. Once it fades and a couples feelings return to normal after experiencing the newness of each other and sex with each other, eventually you are left with what the REAL chemistry is between you two. In my case, we were totally mismatched sexually. He had a low libido, didnt want often, I had the high libido, and no, there was no compromising with him. The attraction level for him after honeymoon just wasn't there. He never looked at me in 30 yrs with desire in his eyes. He didn't take the time to really please me and His chemistry was such that I never felt aroused by him, never had orgasms, it was just doing it like a programmed robot. Had 3 kids out of it. But thats the only good I can say there was. His frustrations grew as he wasnt happy either. He started verbally abusing me. BUT i stayed because of the kids. One bad decision led to more for me. Staying was the wrong thing as I can now see how it messed up my 3 daughters mentally witnessing what they did and getting some verbal abuse of their own from him. I left once the kids were out of the house. And this all started because I didn't know any better back then to 'test drive the car before i buy it' so to speak. If I had had regular sex with him for a month and gotten beyond that honeymoon state, I would have seen the glaring difference and decided not to continue dating him let alone entertain thoughts of marriage. However back then I felt remaining a virgin had its good points.

The real and only good point to being a virgin? Really only one I can see, since you would only decide to have sex with someone you have developed strong feelings for, is that if you or he or both change your minds after a little while and realize you aren't the perfect match, that your heart will feel broken. Staying virgin is a good way to protect yourself from having your heart broken also by a guy who pretends to love you and want to marry you and only wants sex and betrays and uses you that way. Welcome to the real world. So remaining a virgin can only prevent being hurt like this before getting married. It doesn't guarantee what can and might actually happen after you get married dear.

So in the end, if you simply like the notion and custom of your culture to remain virgin because its what YOU want to still do, then that's great. But do not choose to follow this custom blindly simply because the culture has always done it....these are modern times and technology has changed all the original reasons for remaining virgin. So be honest with yourself as to what you want. If you do choose to become sexual with a man you think might be the one for life for you, then be prepared and get on birth control first, and make sure he uses condoms.
I will share this, after a divorce at 30 yrs with the ex, I wanted to finally find someone I was truly compatible with and experience real love. the ex said he was never in love with me either!?
So when I met my current husband, you bet I had sex with him before we married. I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. Just another perspective for you to think about, not trying to convince you either way, just the facts and some possibilities you may not have thought of.
good luck dear.

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theres this guy from my school and he's pretty hot and popular. he finds me attractive and he said he'd hook up with me.
I want to kiss him but I've never kissed anyone (I'm 16. I swear im not ugly or a nerd lmao).
Should i tell him before hooking up or just let it happen? I don't want him to think that im a bad kisser.
Im just so scared cus i want this to work and everyone says we've got some short of connection.

No don't say anything before hooking up. Just a note of caution if he is football 'player' but female 'player' as in seeing many girls all at once, this type usually has no regard to you and your feelings and very often its sexual conquest that is the root cause of him going after any girl.
So if u r ok with a kiss leading to something more, or him mistaking your kiss as meaning you want sex, then all is fine. But if I were you, I'd at least start to carry condoms with me, just in case cus you can't trust that a guy like that will be thinking of this. If he's a player, you need to be prepared for a heck lot more than just a kiss.

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I just turned 17 and I want to take a pretty lengthy career path so Im doing a lot of future planning at the moment so I don't screw myself over.

First off, Im a junior in high school doing running start at the moment (college for free during high school) but next school year is my last free year of college, because it'll be my senior year.

I wanted to get a part time job and save up for when I do end up moving out or paying for college but my parents wont let me get a job because we might lose our medicaid and I have a lot of medical things happening to me right now so I need healthcare.

My mom says to wait to get a job until I get an apartment or dorm and just focus on volunteering at the hospital for experience (I want to be a pathologist) but how am I suppose to get an place without any money? And I also don't want to be 22 thats never had a paying job before.

If I move out around 18-19 and live off students loans and get a part time job in college, is that a smart thing to do?

Im trying to spend as least money as possible because I know ill be drowning in debt but might as well be smart about it, 200,000 is a lot of money.

My ex used to do income tax, so I know that parents who have a college aged child can claim them on tax returns and can have them on medical insurance while they attend college. I do not know if there is a law that stipulates the college student can not earn a penny of their own. Or if it cancels out your ability to be covered by the parents family health plan if you earn beyond a certain amount. You should not need to get your own medical insurance, but be covered, even though of adult age, simply because you are in college. As to whether the laws vary by state, I do not know. It is best to not assume, or go by what other families have told you folks as their situation may not be exactly the same. It is best to talk to the professionals, so talking to the family health plan officials, even ask an attorney, ask ahead also of an income tax person for the parents sake, not one, but I'd ask all and know exactly what the laws are before you worry and jump to concluesions. good luck.

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My friend has recently been ignoring me and I was wondering if it is smart to ask why. He is a really nice guy and I have not really done anything to hurt him and I'm kind of curious as to why his behavior changed. Should I ask? My friends say I should give him time and space but does that mean I should do nothing if it continues like that or wait a while then ask? He knows I used to like him romantically but he found out months ago yet his behavior recently changed.

I agree to give him time. Guys tend to need to take time to sort through things in their minds, usually I've found, related to thoughts, maybe fears in their own minds and its best to give them all the time they need. It really shouldn't take a guy too long, a week, couple weeks, but after a month, if nothing has changed, that way enough time for a guy to sort through things in their mind. I guess men can be like this all their life. After a divorce and dating, I met a guy online and immediately met in person, Hit it off, actually quite well, intense attraction in all ways, to the character, personality and sexually. We saw each other every other day over two weeks and then he asked for a break for at least a week, maybe more, asked me not to contact him, gave no explanation. I wasn't worried as I had enough self confidence to know I would own up to if I did something wrong and knew I hadn't. I followed his wishes. After only 4 days, he left a message on my cell while I was at work, at lunch I returned the call. He thanked me for calling and said he was afraid I'd be angry at him for wanting to avoid me and that I might not call him back. This was a man in late forties. So yeah, people always worry about that kind of stuff.
He asked me to stop by right after work and he'd explain. All it was is a great fear that arose because of the speed with which we connected and how intense and that scared him. He know it could either be infatuation, just the intenseness of a new relationship or the real thing and the best way to sort thru his feelings was to not have me around. Some younger guys might not think to explain whatever their reasons are. And in your case, when you finally ask if he doesn't volunteer an explanation first, it may not be something you like hearing, so be mentally prepared for an answer of any sort, to not take things personally. I can think of one reason for a delayed change in him. Not due to your confession at all. There may be a female going after him, it may be more in secret right now so you aren't aware of it but she may know you are friends and know somehow that you felt romantic towards him and doesn't have enough self confidence to handle the fact of the past and sees you as a constant threat and asked him to cut off contact with you and he agreed because he really wants to try a relationship with her. He doesn't want to hurt you and thinks if he doesn't tell you at all you won't feel at least curious if not somewhat hurt. Guys dont always realize that what they are doing to protect your feelings is actually doing the opposite. I have another example from life. A man who was separated and they planned to divorce, I met her and heard the same from her. We had a whirlwind romance of a year together, so in love and then she wanted him back, to fix their marriage. He began to distance himself in his behavior towards me. Knew it would hurt me to tell me that he decided to work things out with her and go back. I asked if something was wrong, got no answer but after 2 weeks, he couldn't pretend anymore and cried one evening. And finally told me. Yes it hurt, we both cried, but short of having a triad relationshp with her blessing, there wasn't anything else that could be done. I was relieved at least to know that it wasn't anything I had done to ruin things. HIs reasons may not be so dramatic but equally important in his mind and he may be trying to protect you from whateer the truth is. Just a couple things to think sbout so you can be prepared when time comes to ask and encourage him he can tell you anything and that you won't take it personally.

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If a guy gets a girl pregent n then waits for 24 hours to have sex again n cums in the girl can the same guy sperm kill the other sperm

You've gotten your answers already, sperms doesnt kill sperm. And I believe your question, while in your mind seems solid and logical merely goes to show how little you actually know of our sexual organs and reproductive process, and sex in general. I am not blaming you or calling you stupid hon, it's not your fault that you werent taught very good sex ed classes in school. I hear many schools no longer offer it and the results are disastrous. However, now that you are of the age of being capable of having sex, it is up to you to self educate yourself on sex and all this stuff instead of running to some one to ask a question as it occurs. Whats more dangerous dear, is the questions you don't think to ask of that end up in you contracting aid, herpes or some other sort of STD, minor treating infection you can heal from IF going to a doctor, lack of proper birth controls or false assumptions that lead to an unwanted pregnancy.
I noticed one felt you might be the female. All we've said and what I am sharing too applies if you are the male too. I would suggest you getting your hands on all the books you can to learn the basics of sex education, not techniques or kama sutra positions but the basic body functions of how these parts of ourself work, how the process of becoming pregnant works, knowings about the females 3 major points for experiencing orgasms is a good one for guys to know in pleasing her and her to know to instruct him. getting a girl pregnant doesnt prove or make you a man in case your male. Its a biological function that all animals can do too. Its your thorough knowledge of everything regarding the physiological aspects of sex and creating babies and the responsibility you show whether as a male or female that is going to show you to be an adult in this area. I can suggest a you tube video blogger on sex and relationships who also had to self educate. But this gal is thoruough, started as a teen now in her twenties and she does share the actual pure facts and short videos that are very entertaining. heres a link to her page in getting started on your self education.

www.youtube.com/user/lacigreen

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Hello, I'm a 15 year old girl so obviously I'm starting to explore my attraction boys (and girls) at this point in my life, but I need a bit of advice on a few questions that I have. So this first question could just be the effect of growing up with a father who's kind of racist, but I'm going to ask anyway: I'm a Caucasian girl, so is it strange for me to prefer people of other races over other white boys? I know that the not-so-playful teasing would be endless if I ever brought anything other than a Caucasian boy home. My second question: Is it unusual for me to like more than one person at a time? I'm not attracted to ALL the people at my school obviously, but is it strange to have 4 or 5 boys/girls that I would consider dating instead of being set on one or two people? Thanks a bunch!

The reasonsing of your subconscius mind may come into play having had a racist parent. If your interest lies only in guys of other racists, deep down even if you dont sense it, a part of you may want to get back at a parent, teach him a lesson he hasn't obviously learned yet in life by flaunting a boy of another race in his face. I am not saying you actually want to do this and this is the reason. most with their conscious mind would likely never dream of using another person this way to make a point with Dad. Maybe its even a curiousity to just see how he reacts. this as the other advice giver pointed out shouldnt be the reason you date a particular person, because of their race, but because you admire and are drawn to their personality and character. So hon, I am not calling you racist, but your subconscious mind may have its own ideas of why it thinks it is helping you to accomplish somethig by causing you to have feelings mostly for boys of other races. this doesn't make you a bad person in the least. Many people go through life unaware how their subconscious mind is leading them by the nose, causing them to take actions it feels are okay. but the sub mind can be more like your inner child. and as you know from experience, as I do too, when we are younger, we're prone to make lots of childish mistakes, mostly out of just never having given something enough depth of consideration and really questioning ourselves as to why we do this and feel that. But I guarantee you there is always a reason at the bottom of it, whether its gonna make sense to your logical mind or not, the sub mind doesnt act on very solid facts often, more of a reactionary thing to protect you and make you happy or bring to reality something you think about a lot and not always with best logical rational ways of going about it. In fact, it can feel like leaving a two year old in control of our mind and fighting it and giving up and letting it run rampant with our life.
I would wager to guess that your Dads stance on other races has had you concerned for some time as you approached puberty and you have wondered how he would react if you met a guy you really liked for the right reasons, who just happened to not be caucasion, mixed race or other, or even a female love. Because this concern if u really have had it, was foremost on your mind, you thought of it often, your subconscious took that to mean you wanted to have a preference for guys of other races, totally misinterpreting it as all peoples subconscious is prone to do. In cases like this, If I were God, looking at the intent of your heart, I wouldn't see this preference as stereotyping or racist of a different kind, against whites, but more of a matter caused by the subconscious while part of you is really indirectly the cause of how you are acting. So don't beat yourself up about it. But do start asking yourself questions. I do it best asking myself aloud and waiting for answers to pop into my mind. at times it worked better to come up with solutions to a possible issue when I rambled on paper or online in a letter to myself. Venting my concerns and asking why i feel this way and this listing any far fetched guesses that kind to mind. In the end I always have come up with the answer, provided to me by my subconscious admitting what its been doing.

As for your question of innitially considering interest in several people at once, yes that is normal, even in a society mainly based in monogamous relationships. LEt me explain. When fist starting to date, or even like for me after a divorce, re entering the dating scene as an adult, all we want is to find that special someone. However, the issue is not knowing yet, what we like or don't like in character and personality traits and we won't until we get to know people better. Many fear comitting to be bf/gf to just one person only to find out in time they were wrong for you and a couple others youhad interest in, are now taken, dating others. And people can fear losing out on opportunity. The best thing to do is tell any boy or girl you decide to accept the offer from or you ask them, is that you are undecided yet as to who you want to commit to for a long term dating relationship and are just in the information gathering stage and may date several at once. This stage is of course before love feelings develop. If you don't like what yu see in a person or dont have much in common, you tell them you have decide to not pursue them and thats that. no broken commitment. guys can actually understand this concept very well and it wont bother them. In fact lots of male do the very same thing however they goof up by not making it clear to the girl they intend to date for information gathering use and that can be taken as leading someone on and not looked kindly at. The moment you have determined which person you wnat to commit to, you inform the others. The only people not ok with this arrangement have low self image, low self esteem or confidence and its even better that you weed them out in the beginning. Some like myself who was like that as a teen actually chose to change as a young adult and overcome it but sadly the majority never do and continue the same behavior as adults growing jealous, posessive, abusive, belittling to make themselves feel better etc. just bad stuff for a relationship. So decide if this is the way you want to go, date first many for info gathering stage by advising them of your intent. If ok with it they'll go for it, if not they wont. and if you'd rather just launch into a committed relationship that breaks up later after feelings have developed, thats your choice. teens have relatiionships lasting as little as a month to one or two weeks. Thats not much of a relationship and only goes to show they would have been better off doing it the way I have mentioned. its up to you tho dear. good luck.

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theres this guy from my school and he's pretty hot and popular. he finds me attractive and he said he'd hook up with me.
I want to kiss him but I've never kissed anyone (I'm 16. I swear im not ugly or a nerd lmao).
Should i tell him before hooking up or just let it happen? I don't want him to think that im a bad kisser.
Im just so scared cus i want this to work and everyone says we've got some short of connection.

I chuckle thinking back to before my first kiss, realizing I had all the same thoughts. Guess what, i think most of us do. However kissing comes naturally. If the chemistry is there, that excitement and strong draw to each other, then instincts take over the moment your lips meet and the kiss changes and evolves pretty much on its own without you having to put any thought into it.
I will say this, the more you dwell on the thought of the fear of maybe being a bad kisser, the more that thought process will prevent you from taking the step to actually have yur first kiss. So try not to dwell on it and you'll be just fine.
No there's no reason to say anything before hand. If you become a couple and long after you're both comfortalbe and have a level of trust to share certain things, you might share how you felt before hand. I did that with my first guy. He told me I was a very good kisser from the first one, never thought it lacking.
the only kisses that can really fall flat and not be good are not due to inexperience but a lack of chemistry between the two people, in that case, its feels to each person more like being kissed romantically by a sibling. and that is a feeling of 'yuck'.

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I was watching Matilda, and I looked up how to control things with your mind and it's called telekenises and it said something about making psi balls. Funny thing, I've been making those for as long as I could remember. Since pre school when I was 3, and it was sort of something I did if I was bored in class. To this day I do it effortlessly and it moves with my hands, and I could extend it as far as my hands could go. None of my friends could do this, but for me it's so easy, it's as easy as breathing. I even feel energy daily. It's become so average for me I barely notice. Everyone has this psi balls around them and it attaches to to other people's Psi balls depending on what they are doing. When someone flirts, they let some of it go to them. If that person likes them, their psi balls will merge, but if they don't like them, it'll try to repel it. And during interactions I feel it extra hard. When someone yells at me, it feels like a dagger. When someone is lying to me, I feel it swirling around, trying to push me, when someone is trying to make me laugh, I feel it swirling playfully. And if I watch others interacting, I feel it exchange between them. As I am typing this on my phone I feel my psi ball hitting my phones psi ball, but it isn't like a humans, it's technology so it's more artificial. What is it called when you see psi balls? I have synethesia, if that could be a contributer.

I can feel energy exchange too. I believe in aura's and how our bodies have a complex energy system running through it with our main chakras and even the smaller ones assigned to hands feet and even organs. Our mortal bodies are solid but our souls are also energy, can't be touched like a solid item however many people can see energy forms of existance, whether auras, souls, stuck souls who dont move on after death, called ghosts, or angels or even god. I have an adopted sister who is able to see things with her physical eyes that most can not do. I have tried the exercises recommended to develope that ability but not results. However I am able to visulalize in my head very well and get the same results i want as far as moving energy.

I would guess that having synesthesia, I've read about it, makes me convinced that its somethign in the wiring of your brain, not good or bad but is got to be definitely a plus in being able to see this psi ball or just energy patterns as I refer to it as, since I can only feel it, not see it.
I do know that what i do experience falls under extra-sensory awarenesses and tho most people are capable of developing these, few have the kinds of brains able to move to stage your at. I am talking of clairvoyance, extra sight, clairaudience-the extra hearing, clairesentience, those gut feelings or senses that always pan out to be right on, and others. My husbands gift is clairesentience, while my strength is clairaudience followedd by clairevoyance.

I do not know what it is called. If you do discover what it is called, if there is a separate name, I'd like to hear back and know.

I do have a couple of experiences, tests I did once I began to understand the connection between my visualizing combined with intent to control and move my energy. I also have done energy healing and studied Reiki too which uses energy too.
One day, I decided to do a test. A friend I saw often whom we both greeted each other always with a hug first. So you know that energys get exchanged and meld together rather than repel when its someone you like. So I visualized before approaching the person, my energy field around me, I pictured myself intentionally pulling it all back inside my body so it couldnt be sensed outside of me where it usually resides. Got the hug and immediately they pulled away and said, something is wrong, are you mad at me for some reason. Something feels different. I was smiling, it worked. I first pretended not to know. Yes, they insisted, you feel different, cold, i cant feel your normal friendliness. I finally told them of my experiment. They picked up all that from a hug!. I tried long distance next. On talking talking to a friend who really needed a hug and was telling me of their problems chattering away while i visualised my heart having two little doors on it opening up and love in the form of a pink energy cloud flowing out of me eventually to form two pink energy clouds that looked like arms, and then watched them stretch and reach over distance, flow thru the front door and go wrap themselves around my friend giving that hug. The very moment I got to the part of visualing the hug, my friend stopped mid sentence and said, 'Gee, I am experiecing something really strange right now, its a very pleasant really warm and cuddly feeling coming over me, how odd. I laughed and told them I had just sent an energy hug. While I had to visualize all this to make it happen, you will simply have a different way to get at the same end result. I would venture to say its even easier for you than those who have to visualize and can get distracted by straying thoughts. You have a wonderful ability that not many people ever get to experience even on the plane i use mine in. Use it well in life to help and encourage and touch others in good, supportive, uplifting and healing ways.
I wish you the best dear.

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On my right thumb, on the bottom, I have a bump on my nail. I have put on fake nails before. It's not hurting, but it does distract me. Should I go see a doctor, or wait for it to heal

I've always had weak nails, flimsy, tear and split easily into layers like flake pastry crust, and prone to never be smooth but having all sorts of bumpiness like waves across the length of them.
When I tried fake nails, I only made my nails worse. I think theres something in the glue that hurts or weakens the nail further.
And yes, I tried knox gelatin for my nails and all sort of natural health store solutions to give strong healthy nails and it didn't help me. I can't say what is causing a bump on your nail.
But if its just a bump in the nail itself, in time it will grow out, moving closer to the tip of your nail until the time u get to trim it off. But if you have some sort of deficiency in yur body or its hereditary, this issue may at some point increase and show in other nails too.
If the bump you speak of is actually something on the nail bed, the part of your finger the nail is attached to, if its not sore, growing larger or causing pain, showing signs of pus or infection then its probably nothing a Dr can make go away. I as a child did get some thing under the nail of one index finger which didnt cause a bump on the nail but caused the whole area to swell and =become very tender. I had a pus infection under the nail which developed to critical point in two weeks time. I was only five and traumatized at the time when mon took me to dr, who made a tiny poke or snip to drain the pus, and when seeing how loose the nail had become and there was little chance of it reattaching itself, gave one quick yank and it came off. I was bandaged up given antibiotics and that little white half moon you see at the base of your nail is a new one waiting to grow out, a replacement nail in case needed. So thats worst case scenerio in case yours develops into an infection. Otherwise probably nothing. If its really bothering you, the best thing is to go see the Dr. at the very least to have peace of mind if its nothing.

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Girl


So i have a crush from last year, i confessed and fucked things up and but i still have feelings for him. we dont talk to each other anymore so we are basically enemies i think. i really want to get him outta my mind but somehow i cant. any advice for getting over someone? whenever i see him at skl i just feel so sad gusdhfkjl xthanks

While the last advicegiver gave true advice as i agree with their saying it's all in the head, I feel that may not be enough explanation to help in the way you are needing. So I will give details to help explain.
Each person alive has two minds, their conscious, awake selfs mind and also a subconscious mind which runs things you dont have to think about, blinking yur eyes and drawing your next breath, it also is the mind active that runs your dream time, and it also where all your emotions, good and not so good are stored.
So while with your conscious thoughts realize its over and there's no chance with him, its really your subconscious mind that can't let go of him and get over him. But you need to understand your subconscious minds reasonings and actions first to understand why that is so. Bear with me, as even if this sounds like off the track to answering your question, it will in the end give you a better idea of why its still happening. I can't say if yoo'll be totally successful at arriving at a solution but knowing the root cause is the first step towards a solution.

Ever hear of the term, Alter Ego? It describes a person having two very different personalities. While not the same thing, having these two minds is pretty close to the same end result in my mind. One mind is thinking totally different than the other, in some people fighting against each other rather than the two minds working to support each other in bringing the best possible life to you. I am well aware of my subconscious. I've talked to her all my life, you know, the person who talks to themself, and often I'd answer myself, or so I thought until as an adult i came to understand the role of the subconscious.
The subconscious is where all our emotions are stored and come from. It is very sensitive to what your awake conscious mind is focusing on. No matter if its something good for you or bad for you, its role is to make your dreams and wishes come true. The sub mind has no ability to see the difference between something good or bad, only interpreting what yur conscious mind dwells on so much as something yu desire and will do everything it can to supply the emotions to support what you think too much about or cause you to change your behavior to bring about what you want, altho in your case, you realize it hasn't made a difference. The subconscious doesnt see that. Its more like the eager pet dog, wanting to please its master, or a two year old child, not having the understanding of a more mature, teen or adult mind. So in fact what it is doing, thinking its helping you is in fact doing the opposite. Like a little child, if left to its own devices, it will become unruly and out of hand and can make your entire life miserable. But like a child, with training and discipline, the subconscious mind can learn to work together with your conscious mind and realize its not helping, that you want it to change its thinking and behavior on parts of you that it has control over and begin to work together rather than unintetionally fight you.

I fear I may have lost you in that. But here's a simple illustration of how your sub mind works. Think of a movie that really made you feel anger towards a character, fear, or made you cry. Your conscious mind knows those were just actors and those things didn't really happen to them, but the subconscious doesnt know that. All it notices is your focus for two hours on a movie and supplies the emotions as if its really happening to you. And thats why there's some movies whose emotional impact on you cant be forgotten easily and sometimes can result in dreaming about or nightmares. I hope you see now how this is all connected.
So the basic solution is to have your awake self talk to your sub mind, not necessarily out loud but internally works too, and tell it that you don't want to think of him anymore and continue to feel hurt, you want it to stop. Think saying it once will help? Nope. Its now a habit thats had over a years times to get firmly in place. So what you need to do is everytime you think of him when he's not around, thoughts of him come to your awake mind, supplied by your sub mind, you capture that thought, meaning, you tell yourself, no..i told you i dont want to think of him or feel hurt by him anymore so stop doing this.
The only problem here is that this retraining process is going to be tedious and frustrating for some time because the moment you say such a thing. the same thought comes back in seconds or minutes and you can find yourself doing this a hundred times a day. At least at first. But if you diligently keep this up, after a few days you'll see that tho you still think of him in that way (i know you'll see him and cant avoid that) it wont be so many thoughts in one day and so it continues until the feelings attached to how you respond when seeing him actually begin to lessen in intensity until these feelings eventually go away. Not the memory of how you once felt going away, just the ability of the emotions to hurt you going away. It's hard work hon. there are many way way older adults who do not know what I told u and are at war fighting with their subconscious and what most people see is what they would call a split personality in some cases, because the same person acts so differently like two different people, like having an alter ego. So in the end, what I am saying you need to do is not an easy way out dear. It's hard enough for older adults and wont be easier for a teen. But I wish you good luck with that.

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I am in amazing relationship, one that I've always wanted and dreamed of. Both of us are in our 30's, were were married before to other people and now both divorced, but head over heels in love with each other. There is one problem, he cannot get over my dating past. Before meeting him, I was in two long term relationships ( marriage and one for 6 yrs) and then became single and dated for two years. I met him before he even had the chance to date again, we hit it off immediately and fell in love over time. He said he loves how sexual I am, but hates my past, his resolution is to 1) swing with him and let him have sex with someone in front of me, or 2) participate in a 3 some and let him do his thing in front of me. This kills me, and I don't want to. I love him sooo much and if I saw this it will hurt so bad. My past means nothing to me, but he doesn't get it, because he didn't get to date after his marriage with his HS sweetheart. Instead he went on a date with me and we have been together for almost a year and we live together. He has given me this ultimatum to continue with our relationship. I don't know if I can do this, I wish I could move out and let him try the single life he says he missed out on, but I am afraid of losing him and I don't want something to happen, but I'm tired of being ridiculed. I want him to see me for who I am today and what I offer, not my past. Please help! Should I put my feelings aside and take the torture of seeing him have sex with someone or should I get out of his life and let him do his thing and pray he wants me back. 30 ish female.

Adviceman and I are both a lot older than you and therefore having a lot more life experience and therefore knowledge about these kinds of things.
He just isn't worth your time dear. I understand you feel love for him and that he is great, but it only takes one issue in a partners life to tear apart your relationship over time. His wanting to swing is only going to make it happen sooner and make it a more hurtful process with way more pain for you to experience not by merely watching him with other women but seeing you with another man. Unless he insists he gets to do it all and you are not allowed.
I am one who went into the swing environment after 25 years with a man with whom I had a terrible sexual relationship at his insistance, yes a bit different circumstances but I am getting to a point here that I believe my ex and your boyfriend have in common. I still hadn't figured it out at the time why he also behaved so poorly to how he treated me, verbal abuse, then sorry then a honeymoon cycle before he'd repeat the abuse over and over with a shorter honeymoon makeup part til it no longer existed in the 25 yrs. We had teen girls not quite ready to leave the home so I figured, maybe this would help him feel better and we could hold it together. In the following 5 years, a new swinging couple we befriended on line where the husband had a counseling career in the past saw through to my husbands issues, said he had mental illness and needed to get counseling. It made sense. Deep down, when a person has something major wrong with them, even if their conscious mind doesnt register it, their subconscious one does and will cause a person to react and respond in ways to cover their tracks so no one realizes they have a problem. It's called deflecting, and sooner or later they will point the finger at others saying that they are the real problem and can at times make it sound believeable. No, I am not going to say your boyfriend has mental illness. But he is hiding something and he has reached this age without consciously acknowledging it yet means this issue is likely to continue for quite a lot longer without being resolved if ever in his lifetime. What I see his behavior as, is simply a case of a low self image and low self confidence. That can be crippling in any person but I tend to believe it's even a bit worse for a male. Why? A male feels like a male through several parts of his life that he experiences that give him purpose and reaffirm and make him proud to be a male. So he takes pride in his work, career, special talents and also in his sexuality. With low self confidence or image, a man is going to have severe issues in the sexual area and not be able to bear the thought of any other man ever having dated you, paid you attention or had sex with you... and the reason why, because in his subconscious mind deep down, he actually feels inferior to every other male on the planet in some way. I can't say why a particular person can feel that way. Most likely bad habits of negative thinking that started already in childhood.
So what I am trying to say is that his solution of having a dating past or sexual experiences before being able to move on with you is one of the worst possible things he could do that would expose his position more clearly to you and make him even angrier and more upset and feeling even worse image wise. I know because I witnessed it happen to others in the swing community and I saw it in my own husband. He found that he couldn't attract other women but I attracted other guys andj I was actually enjoying myself because in my case, he had long ago killed any remaining love I had for him. I didn't hate him mind you, still don't, but I lacked any feelings at all toward him. So i enjoyed myself and for the first time in my life discovered what I was capable of sexually that I had a strong sex drive, he had almost none, that I was not frigid as he said but enjoyed orgasms with every man but never had any with him, and I discovered I was able to do the female version of ejaculation with orgasm, called squirting. Once awakened, its a natural response you can't stop. That was the killing blow. He already made a rule that we could only directly swap with a couple but he had to approve of the female and be attracted to her, that way he didn't have to worry about finding someone if the other husband wanted me. He already felt he couldn't attract a woman on his own, the same self confidence issues. Now at home if I squirted, he demanded that I stop it, which I couldn't. It reminded him that he was not the one to awaken that in me. So it made him feel even less a man. Jealousy is VERY common in swinging. It will make the person with issues begin to make all sorts of rules, ultimatums and hoops for you to have to battle, cus no matter how many times in my marriage to him that I did exactly as he asked, following instructions to a tee on things that he said would make him happy and satisfied if I did it, when I did, he still was unhappy or jealous or unreasonable and I realized it was a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation where I just could not win. I will say in the very beginning of our marriage before his abusive side became more prominent, yes there was some wonderful qualities about him the things that drew him to me in the first place and made me fall in love with him. But now on the other end of it, through lots of life experience, I can assure you that unless he realises he has an issue with self image and confidence and is really willing to apply himself, right now to accepting help from a professional counselor or psychologist, he is not going to get better. This will remain a ticking bomb ready to explode, over and over again with him pointing to you as the problem. Another point I want to bring up is your mentioning his riduling you on a constant basis. This dear, you need to realize is a form of emotional abuse. This sounds too much like he is taking controlling actions, wanting to control you, while you may not see it as severe or anything to worry about, think again, it grows worse quickly. I experienced the ex trying to control all life situations by controlling me too in hopes he'd get the outcome he wanted and nothing made him ever feel better. In essense, if you decide to stay with him, you will give control over to you to try to keep peace, will doesnt work, suffer emotional abuse, and by choice of placing yourself in this position, become kindof his care giver. I had to handle all the adult situations in our family, he would fall apart. Like when a window was vandalized and broken in one car and another stolen and totaled. Its a losing battle to stay with him dear. And in the end agree with adviceman, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. those with his good qualites and none of the major issues. Staying with him is not only settling for less but also choosing to allow yourself to be treated poorly for the rest of your life. Don't do it.

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How do I pop my own Cherry? I really really want to pop my own cherry so I wouldn't be embarrassed of bleeding on him or just having my blood all over the place. I know I should let my partner do it, but I just want to myself. And also when I when masturbate will I pop my cherry? and/or When I masturbate will my cherry pop? and I'm a virgin by the way. Pls answer I really really want to know how should I pop my own cherry? what to use to pop it ? those good question's thank you so much for taking out the time to answer my questions :))))

If yu are underage, then not allowed in adult toy stores to get a pyrex dildo and must just use your fingers. Nothings pops. The so called Cherry is actually called a Hymen, and it naturally stretches not pops. elastic like a rubber band. Even tampon use can stretch if some. the only blood you would see is if a guy didn't take his time, you werent well lubricatedd and his pushing himself in quickly rips the skin inside. No worries tho, it heals easy on its own. Remember, your whole vagina is very flexible. If it wasn't a baby could never make it out and you'd never have been born. My question for you is, do you have a plan to use contraception. best to get that taken care of cus being pregnant is worse than cherry popping

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My dad died recently and I do not miss him at all. He was the true definition of a narcissist. Everyone in his life worshiped him like a saint, except for me and that is why he despised me. We recently found out he was in a relationship with a woman he worked with, who adored him as much, if not more than my mom did. He had a tight-knit friend group with his work colleagues and basically lived a double life.

He and I have not gotten along since I was 5 or 6. My 10 year old diary has pages and pages of "I hate my dad." All of the screaming matches in our household have involved me and I've always been blamed for them and shamed for my psychological issues. Basically, he had the same issues as me but mine were spotlighted and I was told that my issues were ruining the family. Starting at age 11, I was manipulated with therapy by being forced to go, and throughout the years I was threatened to have it taken away if "my behavior didn't improve." When it was suggested that my dad come to the sessions he didn't want to. He came to one once and put on a big fake show, making himself seem noble and honest. In reaction to the therapist saying something he didn't agree with, he went ballistic about it as soon as we got home and my mom said, "wow I'm surprised, she usually knows what she's talking about." I guess my mom served as his voice in a lot of this because she spewed out most of the insults toward me and never dared challenge HIS behavior.

Currently, my mom is seeing a therapist and she really wants me to go therapy and quite frankly, I don't want to. I understand my emotions and why I feel the way I feel. I'M ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY and know why I have been angry my entire life. Needing therapy is an object of shame in this household and I refuse to submit to that. The other night my brother told me I'm a crazy bitch and need a therapist to help me work through my issues. Meanwhile, he's the one dating multiple girls at a time and has absolutely no shame about it. I don't think he even registers that it's wrong and he may be hurting someone. Why shouldn't a person like THAT be in therapy? When I bring this up to my mom she tells me to leave him alone and let him do what he wants. Today we fought about it and she said I'm jealous of him because I'm not dating anyone.

Because my parents have been so obsessed with maintaining their perfect little image, everyone thinks my dad was this fantastic, perfect human being and everyone shows so much sympathy for me and thinks that not having him around must be so hard. My mom's sisters cry in public because they "miss him so much." They'll try to talk to me about my feelings and how I'm coping and when I tell them the truth about the way I feel they change the subject and treat me like I'm 13. I think they are really weak women because they align their emotions with popular opinion for the sake of going with the crowd, even when their niece who they "love so much" is trying to reach out to them on THEIR invitation. If I dare say anything negative about them, I'm a villain, because according to my mom, "these are the people who are there for her."

But anyway, I do not miss him one drop. I do not miss the feeling of tension that would overtake my entire body and mind every time I'd hear him walk through the door home from work. This whole experience has led my family and me closer to the truth. I am not insane after all; he indeed did do evil things. Basically, I'm happy about things I should be upset about and upset about things I should be happy about. It kind of makes me feel comfort in the idea of jumping off a bridge. That's another thing: there is a history of suicide in my dad's family, including my grandma who attempted it 3 times (so all those times she was "sick in the hospital" were for that) and her mother committed suicide. I am suspicious that my dad's "unexpected heart attack" was not a heart attack indeed. I will not commit suicide but do admit that at times, I find comfort in the thought of it and found comfort in knowing the truth about my grandma. Thank god, I am now a college grad and moving far, far away from home next year. But until then, how can I deal?

I've known a narcissist in my life. The fact that your Dad was able to fool many people who didn't live with him and thought he was so great, knowledgable and noble is not odd at all. they have a way of coming off that way to the world in general and the one I knew got to work up to a very prestigious position in one of the biggest billion dollar companies in the US. And what ever he wanted he got when related to his job. So he felt he was hot stuff. But this man had gone through 3 or 4 previous marriages and his current wife, my friend, didn't find anything wrong with him. He got so used to seeing me around with her that he forgot to hide his tendencies and i saw him yell and behave terribly pound the table and demand she do something instantly. He scared the crap out of me approaching me once that way while drunk. He was a weekend drunk as well. I also had a husband with his own set of mental illness, not narcisstic but he was verbally abusive. Although he made a miscalculation marrying me as I was not the typical type a narcissist or mental ill man goes for in a wife, they tend to go for emotionally weak and controllable women they can mold into something other than themselves who will find nothing wrong with him. My husband was constantly telling me i needed to see the church counselors as I had terrible personal issues..Same story. So I've been there. However I WAS an adult and you're not and didn't have a choice. Either way, what your Dad and My ex was doing is called 'deflecting'. A mentally ill person will deflect attention away from themselves because deep down in their subconscious perhaps, they realize that theres something not quite right about them but too afraid to find out what it is so they hide it and hide it well, choosing to associate only with weak people. He could choose your mom. He couldn't choose the mentality and strength of his children however. So tho mom saw nothing wrong with him which meant there is a good chance she had some version of another mental illness herself, you did. Even your siblings could have been born weak humans or have some mental issues too. The fact that you're the only one who was strong meant you were actually a constant thorn in his side and actually a fear to him of you of all people being able to expose him and his narcissism. So he had to attack you, point the finger at you that you were the one needing counseling. I know how it feels cus I had to face being the strong one who was constantly picked on by my ex husband. It irritated him even greater if I fought back. so i learned to put on an attentive face and took my mind else where while he blasted me with a verbal tirade of abusive words for 20 minute straight or more or coming back for more. I would not recall anything he said, because my mind was focused else where, is an escape mechanism some abused people use to get by. But he would get even madder if he didn't get a response of some sort either anger or cowering. But no response, he'd rant and rave. So basically for me, It was a damned if you do, and damned if you don't life with him. I learned the hard way that there was no pleasing him, even if I following a dozen different suggestions of is to a tee...finally it clicked that he was the one with the issue not me and i finally stopped putting in the effort and let the house go, and imagine him wanting to use me for sex.I was never pleased. I used my escape mechanism there too.
When I had a married couple, friends in another state who offered for me to come live with them after I decided to leave him, I took them up on it cus no one else could take me in and on my income I would not be able to leave him and he wouldn t agree to a divorce. This is fairly recent for me dear. I did feel trapped at the time. My out was thru friends, your s is through becoming an adult and now responsible for yourself.
I suffered 30 yrs with that man, for you, it's more like 2/3's of the time I did and with his friend being the narcisstic guy, and me trying to help strengthen and be a friend to that guys wife, I was basically surrounded by lots of mentally ill people quite often.
From your writing dear, I can already tell that you are not the mentally ill person, never have been. You did what you had to do, to survive. Now that Dad is gone, if you continue to allow yourself to hold on to the anger for too long, you remain a victim the rest of your life. Not saying anger is wrong. Yes, you should feel angry. No human should treat another that way, especially not parents. I feel badly for you that there is no one in your family who seems sane so I am going to say that the best thing for your own mental health and chance of ever healing from this form of terrible abuse is to cut yourself off from seeing your family ever again. Maybe someday you may come to a point in healing where you can handle occasional short visits but that should be left up to you.
In case you wonder, I do not find it odd for you to find comfort in the thought of suicide, it may be one of your coping mechanisms. However, he's gone and you don't have to associate as an adult with any mentally ill people ever again unless you want to. So really, the coping mechanisms are not longer needed, just a habit at this point that may actually cause difficulty in relating to normal balanced people in your future. YOu are young enough to want to have someone older in your life to look up to yet, a mother or father figure...not in the sense of like a parent but adults you decide feel like very close friends you can related to, so close they feel like family in the normal sense of the word, not the family you actually had and have. As an adult you get to choose who feels like family to you, because these people will be much like you in how they operate in the world even though having their own unique personalitys. But you may not be ready for that for a while.
So the big issue right now is anger. Would you agree I had a right to feel anger towards my ex? Darned tooting right I had every right. Although I was older,almost 50 when I left him so I had also learned much in life, that anger if held on to for too long could actually end up hurting me in many ways, rob me of joy in life, the ability to move forward, affect my health. My mental health was stable due to my christian beliefs at the time but my physically health suffered. The stress of that kind of life will eventually affect your body, its a scientific fact dear, stress needs an outlet so either it affects a people mentally or physically. I had so many things wrong with me, and constant headaches, a few migraines, ulcers, etc. etc...

So if you continue to harbor anger too long, the stress continues and can still have an affect on your body. Your body has its own breaking point at which it can't handle the stress anymore and either becomes ill one way or the other. So if you value your health and don't want your terrible father to continue to have ability to affect you long after death, then I suggest, you decide to be serious about seeking some help, some kind of counseling, not for being mentally ill but the repercussive effects of being the child of someone who was. Lucky for me, unknown to me at the time, the male of the couple who took me in used to be a counselor during his army days and was able to as a friend give me free help with counseling to get past my issues.

I will say, counseling isn't the only thing that helped. Now this may be a stretch for you as you've not considered any kind of spiritual beliefs before. bUT i've always been able to pray and hear from God. I am telling you because there is a small chance if this rings true for you too in belief, this one thing can vastly help you get over all that hurt and anger not by forgetting it but by your thoughts having a different perspective on what was really going on.

At one point, I felt God telling me that what I was taught about one life and hell was wrong. That there is actually such a thing as reincarnation and soon i was coming across many books on the topic. What i came to believe after all that, is that god has given our souls a will so we have choice. He won't renig it just because some people are choosing to do evil, do things so contrary to what He is all about. I also learned that he never stopped creating souls. So with the earths population growing, it stands to reason, there are all the returning souls, reincarnated over and over to keep refining who they are as souls so they become more like God. This is important because until we do become totally pure like him we can not exist in heaven, the purity of it, prevents us from entering, not because God or angels stop us. So, on earth there will be what some term old souls, those much more mature but still refining who they are and brand new souls who are in the bodies of people who do such unconsciousable things, murdering, torturing people, etc etc... and the those in between and then the ones who somehow discover their hidden strengths and abilities from past lives, being basically deep down a much more advanced soul than others. And no, there's no guarantee that a parent will have a mature kind soul. Unfortunately yours didn't. I also learned that some of the horribel things we suffer in life cant be labeled bad or good because they are just a tool meant to help our soul advance even further by being presented with a life situation of being treated terribly and having every right to hate or seeing it rather as someone having to had to be the bad guy, like Judas selling out Jesus. He could have been angry that someone that close to him would do that to him. He wasn't. Well, not exactly the same scenerio but the lesson is still there. Heres another way to see this. Diamonds weren't always diamonds, they started out as an ugly lump of carbon. The only thing that turned them into diamonds is going thru extreme pressures in the earths crusts, greater than any other rock and thats what creates a thing of beauty like the diamond in the end. If not for the availability of the harsher aspects of life or the people who get thrown into our life that have that harsh effect on us, there would be no force helping to make us grow even a little better as a soul. Since I believe in reincarnation now, I can forgive and I actually have no anger at him any longer because I CAN

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today i and my guy were sleeping nude.i gave him a blowjob and he fingered me. there was a gap of 1-2 mins or so between both the things. and his hand felt dry to me. also my period got over day before yesterday. so if he had sperms on his hand by any chance then is there a possibility of me being pregnant? and after all this thing we had shower too. he fingered me in shower and even i gave him a blowjob. we didnt have sex. im still a virgin. my cycle is usually of 32-35 days. but last time it was of 26 days. i assume it was because i had too many hot things that could have caused my periods to be early. could i be pregnant? can sleeping nude cause pregnancy?

You;re lucky this time dear, due to just ending your period, it wasn't possible to be ovulating again in two days, even if sperm did get inside.

But the type of things you are doing is what causes a lot of virgin girls to end up pregnant through 'accidents', so yes, there's good reason to feel nervous about this practice in general but not last time.
What I suggest is that you see your Dr. or if a teen not wanting parents to know, go to Planned Parenthood and get put on the pill so you can't end up pregnant even if choosing to remain a virgin.
What you are doing in called sex in my book. Just because you and he have different sets of genetalia isn't what constitutes as sex. What you are thinking of, penis in vagina sex also known as intercourse or coitus, is not possible for two gay males or females. So are they forever virgins really. If what they do to get mutual sexual release and satisfaction not considered sex?
Yes, dear, you are actually having sex, one part of it. If the penis is poking at the lips to vagina but never enters, you can become pregnant if pre cum was on the tip of his penis, or if any wet cum is on your or his fingers when inserted into the vagina. So wiping fingers dry, theres little likeli hood of any surviving sperm. But it only takes one to get you pregnant of if lets say theres still some sperm lingering hidden under your or his fingernails, yup...that might be enough to do it. Better to be safe than sorry dear. get on some reliable form of contraception, evne if not intending to do intercourse.

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ill give you a lttle background information.. okay so im 16 and my friend is 15. we just started becoming friends a few months ago and we re getting pretty close. So she says shes straight but she s dated a few girls. Every time im with her i always want to be right next to her. and i get jealous whenever she talks about other people. so anyway, i keep having dreams about her. ive had about 4 and they all consist of me and her kissing. the first one we were at my house and we pecked on the lips on accident and we were all shy about it. the second dream we pecked on the lips multiple times like it was normal. the third dream we were in her room and her best friend was mad because she thought she was replacing her with me. So she was really sad and i kept lifting her chin and kissing her passionately to make her feel better. which it did. so anyway.. i want her to know but i dont know how to say it. i dont want to come out and tell her. i kind of want to hint at it to see where it goes idk. any suggestions on what i should do?

Theres two possible kinds of love that can be active in a relationship, the friendship kind which is fulfilling both peoples emotional needs and that kind of love is as strong as the other one the romantic, chemistry of attraction sexual wise kind of love. For just best friends with no sexual attraction, whether same sex or heterosexual, this is what you find in a real deep true best friend relationship. That kind of love is much needed by humans so we can panic if we have only the one source for it and think we may lose it if that person switches to a new friend.
I can't say that fear of losing a best friend might cause a person to have romantic thoughts. But knowing a little bit of how our subconscious mind works, it wouldnt surprise me at all if your subconscious has caused you to have these dreams, presenting them as a possible solution to ever losing her as a close friend, when in fact you may not truly have any bi-sexual tendencies otherwise. I would go into explaining how and why the subconscious does this but the fact in came about in dream form tells me the sub con. mind is behind this. And that your conscious mind is afrad of losing her.
Now, as to talking to her about this. Realize that she is actually "Dated" girls. When I had close girl friends that I really cared deeply about, best of buds, we'd go out on planned events, call it a date, but it wasn't boy girl dating of the romantic sort, just going rollerskating or bowling or bike riding together, etc. Neither of us had any urge to kiss or feel romantic toward each other. So its a matter of what she considers 'dating' and what she does on dates. Ask her about those dates with girls. What to her is the difference between hanging out with a close girlfriend to dating her? then you may have a more clear picture. If her version of dating girls includes kissing and hand holding and cuddling, the romantic stuff, then she's of a mind sort to be open to hearing you share your dreams and ask her what she thinks of it. Does she see that as even a possibility in the real world for you and her?
Even teens can have some pretty clear ideas of what their gender make up is and it isn't related to what sexual organs they were born with. But i have found that there are still some who feel it must be black and white....like gay vs straight only and nothing else in between. Theres the possibility of bi-sexuality, in which case it may be a process thru your experiences, where you decifer exactly what type of bi-sexual you are.
I have known the females who love the softness of another female, the kissing and cuddling, even nude, how ever when it came to actually being sexually satisfied, they preferred a male. And there's nothing wrong no matter what type of bisexual either of you end up being if at all.
If you think you might have stronger than friend feelings for her, treat this the same way as if it was a guy friend who's been in the friend zone with you and now your feelings have changed. To avoid losing friendship by making the other feel awkward to answer if they don't feel the same, propose it as a question. that way they have an out and are more likely to give a truthful answer.
Mention the dreams and ask if she thinks that is weird or not. If she doesn't think they are odd at all, you would next ask something like, 'so thinking about it has made me wonder if it was even possible to add something like that to a friendship. What do you think? Do you think something like that might even work for us?

this is quite different from "i'VE been dreaming about kissing you and think I might be in love with you and actually be gay or bisexual. that can scare away the person who isn't on the same level while the other way wouldn't.

good luck.

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Okay. I'm fifteen. I have trouble making friends, I've always been around adults so I adjust and talk better with them rather than people my age.

I have four (people who I would consider) friends... N, B, L, A.

N- Seventeen, different school,can talk to on facebook (rarely) only see at church.

B- had a falling out. Has depression and wont come over anymore despite my massive attempts to help.

L- Different school, always busy, strict parents.

R- only see at church, except when r comes over. (once in a blue moon.)

Me: Major social anxiety, suffer from panic attacks.. And I'm going into college next year.

How can I make friends, and get out of the house, and overall just be happy? I need help.

I know personally what social anxiety is from my past growing up. I was only comfortable with my immediate family, parents and siblings. I had anxiety over ALL other people, no matter their age.
What you shared, the words you choose led my to believe that you are quite comfortable with and have no issues with talking to adults. Being slow to warm up to a person, lets say an adult in conversation, is more of a type of personality trait rather than social anxiety.
When I was your age, that's what I discovered, if someone else approached me first and befriended me, it took me a little time to warm up and get used to them, but once comfortable with them, I opened up and could be myself.

In your case, there may be something other than social anxiety as an the contributing factor. You did say you were 15 and that you would enter college next year. If your almost 16, then you're on schedule but if u just turned 15, this means you're a bit more advanced than your peers.
So if not meaning next school year bbeing this coming fall, you're still talking fall 2016 when you would be 16 going into college. this means you may be mentally and intellectually far ahead of your peers, in some advanced program too. If this is the case, it explains easily enough to me why you'd have trouble finding friends your age and finding it easier to relate to adults. and that is not called social anxiety. Your peers won't catch when scientists have found the frontal lobe of the brain finishes growing or by 30 at the least.
Unless you've been diagnosed by a doctor to have social anxiety and panic attacks, then you should have been put on medication for that which should have alleviated those issues. If on meds, obviously they are the wrong ones for you, go back to the Dr. get a new prescription.

What I don't know is if you're being home schooled or in public or private school. School is where we meet and make friends usually as kids and teens, that's how it went for me as there really weren't but two in my neighborhood but they moved far away when I was your age.This made it hard for me to find friends regionally, I had to make them at school. Being shy until I turned 17 and worked on changing myself, I had a hard time making friends but had them even so. If the only people you know if from church, this leads me to believe its highly possible you're home schooled which contributes to your issues and problems. Until you get your social anxiety taken care of, college isn't going to work for you cus the kids going for the most part won't have changed much from high school and did be immature and people you don't feel you can relate to if relating and connecting to by something in common is the issue.
Do the parents have any idea what you are struggling with? THEY need to know so they can have your medically checked out. If they are against medication or your are, I can't guarantee you'll fully take control of your issues but you can try what i did to over come my social anxiety.
I was afraid to even look at people and smile at them. So I had it pretty bad.
This is not guaranteed to work as each person is different. If it helps it may help ease your problem somewhat but no guarantee that you totally over come it and may still need to see a Dr.
Using only strangers, to get over anxiety, start with smiling at adults and peers you do not know. Do that until you're comfortable with it, not feeling any fear or panic. I would shake as I feared a smile might encourage a person to talk to me and I couldn't handle that. But I was sick and tired of being this way. you have to reach that point to be ready to do what it takes to get better, even if it ends up beings meds.
Once comfortable with the smiles. Progress to greeting strangers you pass with a Hi. Dont try to overthink what they will think, if odd or what. Just do it. Once you can do that without a concern of anyones reactions, positive or negative, move on to the next which is paying a genuine compliment to strangers. Example, the grocery clerks earrings, a teacher you dont have--their shoes, stick with females if guys seem a bit too much. Once comfortable with that the next would be a step of engaging a person you don't know in conversation. My alway example on that was the produce section of the store. Wanting to pick out a good cantalope. Another woman was there tapping the watermelons so I asked what she was doing and she explained how she ws testing for ripeness by the sound. I thanked her for that info and then asked if she knew a good way to pick out the best cantalope and she answered that. I had just traded sentences back and forth with a stranger though she did the most talking but what was amazing is that it felt 'natural' and the reason, because i choose to converse with someone on a topic related to where I was, or what they or I were doing. If you do so with peers, you will find yourself becoming more comfortable in time. I did all of these religiously several times a day, progressing thru each stage in about a weeks time so that in just about a month or a little more, I was no longer gripped with social anxeity anymore. A month is about the time most people need to establish a new habit and get rid of a bad one. Of course it can differ but this is about usuall if you're working hard on it. If no improvement, or not enough improvement, you still need to go see your Dr. good luck dear.

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theres this guy, we met at a party but we connected and had a heart to heart we had been texting all week. he started calling me babe and complimenting me. telling me i was the only girl he talked to and that he wants to hang with me again. but when i asked him if were were "talking" he told me he doesnt do relationships. and his reasoning was. (he doesnt like being hurt and he doesnt like drama) should i even try to continue to flirt or should i just consider friends? i honestly started to like him. and ive been hurt so much i know his pain

I tried to answer yesterday but the site was having issues. In the meanwhile, Razhie has hit upon something that I go over too, a no drama person being unable to relate to ANY human being.
Here's my saved response from yesterday:

Hon, it all depends on what you are looking for, if you even have a clue.
Using myself as an example, I dated after divorcing. My ideal wish was to find a man who could be my life partner for the rest of my life. Marriage not necessary, just the commitment. My last partner was abusive and treated his friends way better than me. So I was looking for someone with all the opposite of the others failing qualities. Although I wasn't a prude and a very sexual creature, I wasn't into being someones occasional sex partner on their terms only. Until I found "mr right", I was okay with a sex partner under the friends with benefits agreement, them knowing once I found the one, I would no longer be available and since no love ties were there, it was easy.
Based on the little I have said about me, If I came across a guy like that, I would not consider him a good potential life long mate for me. Dependng on what you want, he may work for you. I would not even consider him a good temporary sex partner as he has issues of pain and hurt and so will want the control of how and when he see's me, and I want it to be mutual. I dont go for sex with a stranger but with a friend. And being best of friends is one part of the ultimate relationship, being in love and each others sexual equal is the other. If he says he doesn't do relationships, a friendship is a relationship, and that means he isn't available to be friends either. Don't be fooled that the word relationship in his mind may strictly be directed at boy-girl dating relationships.
We relate to people all day long in our world. We have family relationship with parents, sibings, work relationships, class mate --teacher relationships and the list goes on. When some people are hurt deep down, their subconscious mind doesn't always differentiate in what capacity he knows the other person and how he is related to or relating with, and so to protect his feelings, instead of shutting off just heterosexual dating possibilities, a wall is built up inside the person to protect them from all relationships which means there's a possibility he could be one of the extremes who now fears that he can be hurt by just about anyone, not just a female he's attracted to.
The attraction is his natural instinct he can't turn off and thus the sweet names but not able to commit or trust. And trust is vital to a good relationship. You say you've been hurt too. Want to guess what happens when two emotionally hurt people get together? Neither gets better or gets over it,as both tend to help each other stay stuck, both suffering through the on again off again seeing each other in what neither can or wants to call a relationship but that's just lying to oneself. The only way you could never relate to another human being is to become a hermit out in the boonies. So then it becomes a matter of each individuals interpretation of what a relationship is and what it isn't. The end result would have to be something that brings you joy and fulfills you.

Some people fall into the trap of getting into a relationship with someone, (cus in reality, no matter what they call it, it is a sort of relationship) someone who is hurt, damaged, has mental or social issues, bad habits, vices, destructive behavior, etc. and are thinking that their love or presence or friendship can fix the other person. No person changes or will be ready for help and respond to it until deep inside they feel ready. Some do get to that point in their lifetime. Many do not and go their entire life with this chip on their shoulder.
Why do some people get sucked into trying to help others who may not be willing? Well, it may be that they are the type of personality who tend to want to or just fall into being of service to others. This is something that follows you a lifetime, I know as I am such a person or I wouldn't volunteer my time on here for one thing. I also had hopes I could fix my bad 1st marriage and patiently loved for 30 yrs before the stress finally began making me seriously ill. I am recovered now and married to a sweet man who is also another soul in service to others, to help any people in our path that we come across. The difference is being able to tell when a person really wants help or if they are not ready.
I hope this gives you enough info to understand your situation better and make a decision.
It may still be hard to decide for what reason you even want him. Ultimately in the end, do you want, whether just an activity buddy, a boyfriend, a friend with benefits, or a long term committed relationship with or without marriage license. You need to be able to have this straight in your mind before being able to make a clear decision that you can live with dear.
I want to help further if I can. I do have an article I can paste in as an answer if you want to know what steps to take to finding "Mr Right' for you. I'd be glad to share it if you write and ask for it. Just go to my column and write me from there asking for it. In the end, I'd really like to know how you do decide to go. good luck

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I have always had a wacky personality and loved to make people laugh, but everybody hates me now. Ok ok I know I might be overreacting, but it's kind of hard to not feel that way when your friends are calling you crazy and stupid. I'm starting to think I'm really going insane! I have started crying a lot more and acting really shy. I just want the old me back! I just want somebody that understands me. I am a 13 year old female if that helps.

I can;t tell you where I read it but I've seen several articles mentioning a problem that is becoming more prevelent these days with teen girls going thru puberty.
It's not you dear, the possibility I am bring up tho is very real. The blame for your problem may well be due to polutants in the world today that all of us live with and can't escape. Tests have shown that there is a pretty high level of synthetic female hormones in our environment that we slowly absorb from infanthood thru the rest of our lives. So your body already has plenty of these hormones before hitting puberty and your body releasing a mega load of them all at once.
In the past, without the influence of such high levels of female hormones in our environment, young teens would struggle with the hormonal changes of puberty, some pretty insignificant but others really great to the point of being overly angry and picking on other females or over sad and weepy or depressed. In time your hormones of puberty will level out and its possible to eventuallly feel normal again but that may not happen until you graduate high school.
Total personality changes have also been documented such as you are noticing.
Luckily there is something doctors can do for this. I dont know if there new research and methods now but what i read entailed of Drs checking your hormone levels and if they were too high, prescribing a medicine that helps to normalize those levels. In most cases, it is only needed until your own body's natural hormones level out, giving your body a chance to adjust.
So show this response to mom and have her get you in to see the Dr. Ignoring this won't make it go away if this is the problem. If you indeed have developed social anxiety, that is still something to see a Dr. about as that has become a current day affliction for many that wasn't as prominent as issue when I was growing up. I am hoping you can soon get back to your happy self. good luck dear.


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