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how do i tell my friend i like her?(were both girls)
ill give you a lttle background information.. okay so im 16 and my friend is 15. we just started becoming friends a few months ago and we re getting pretty close. So she says shes straight but she s dated a few girls. Every time im with her i always want to be right next to her. and i get jealous whenever she talks about other people. so anyway, i keep having dreams about her. ive had about 4 and they all consist of me and her kissing. the first one we were at my house and we pecked on the lips on accident and we were all shy about it. the second dream we pecked on the lips multiple times like it was normal. the third dream we were in her room and her best friend was mad because she thought she was replacing her with me. So she was really sad and i kept lifting her chin and kissing her passionately to make her feel better. which it did. so anyway.. i want her to know but i dont know how to say it. i dont want to come out and tell her. i kind of want to hint at it to see where it goes idk. any suggestions on what i should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Theres two possible kinds of love that can be active in a relationship, the friendship kind which is fulfilling both peoples emotional needs and that kind of love is as strong as the other one the romantic, chemistry of attraction sexual wise kind of love. For just best friends with no sexual attraction, whether same sex or heterosexual, this is what you find in a real deep true best friend relationship. That kind of love is much needed by humans so we can panic if we have only the one source for it and think we may lose it if that person switches to a new friend.
I can't say that fear of losing a best friend might cause a person to have romantic thoughts. But knowing a little bit of how our subconscious mind works, it wouldnt surprise me at all if your subconscious has caused you to have these dreams, presenting them as a possible solution to ever losing her as a close friend, when in fact you may not truly have any bi-sexual tendencies otherwise. I would go into explaining how and why the subconscious does this but the fact in came about in dream form tells me the sub con. mind is behind this. And that your conscious mind is afrad of losing her.
Now, as to talking to her about this. Realize that she is actually "Dated" girls. When I had close girl friends that I really cared deeply about, best of buds, we'd go out on planned events, call it a date, but it wasn't boy girl dating of the romantic sort, just going rollerskating or bowling or bike riding together, etc. Neither of us had any urge to kiss or feel romantic toward each other. So its a matter of what she considers 'dating' and what she does on dates. Ask her about those dates with girls. What to her is the difference between hanging out with a close girlfriend to dating her? then you may have a more clear picture. If her version of dating girls includes kissing and hand holding and cuddling, the romantic stuff, then she's of a mind sort to be open to hearing you share your dreams and ask her what she thinks of it. Does she see that as even a possibility in the real world for you and her?
Even teens can have some pretty clear ideas of what their gender make up is and it isn't related to what sexual organs they were born with. But i have found that there are still some who feel it must be black and white....like gay vs straight only and nothing else in between. Theres the possibility of bi-sexuality, in which case it may be a process thru your experiences, where you decifer exactly what type of bi-sexual you are.
I have known the females who love the softness of another female, the kissing and cuddling, even nude, how ever when it came to actually being sexually satisfied, they preferred a male. And there's nothing wrong no matter what type of bisexual either of you end up being if at all.
If you think you might have stronger than friend feelings for her, treat this the same way as if it was a guy friend who's been in the friend zone with you and now your feelings have changed. To avoid losing friendship by making the other feel awkward to answer if they don't feel the same, propose it as a question. that way they have an out and are more likely to give a truthful answer.
Mention the dreams and ask if she thinks that is weird or not. If she doesn't think they are odd at all, you would next ask something like, 'so thinking about it has made me wonder if it was even possible to add something like that to a friendship. What do you think? Do you think something like that might even work for us?
this is quite different from "i'VE been dreaming about kissing you and think I might be in love with you and actually be gay or bisexual. that can scare away the person who isn't on the same level while the other way wouldn't.
good luck.
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You need to make your intentions clear with her already because if you wait longer it's going to be even worse. It's like when a guy is in a friend zone your in the same situation . The reason it's bad to wait is because she might tell you things very personal and when you tell her you like her she's going to feel betrayed because she told you these things thinking you liked her as a best friends. If she doesn't feel the same way you will lose her for sure.
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