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Ignoring me... should I ask why?
My friend has recently been ignoring me and I was wondering if it is smart to ask why. He is a really nice guy and I have not really done anything to hurt him and I'm kind of curious as to why his behavior changed. Should I ask? My friends say I should give him time and space but does that mean I should do nothing if it continues like that or wait a while then ask? He knows I used to like him romantically but he found out months ago yet his behavior recently changed.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I agree to give him time. Guys tend to need to take time to sort through things in their minds, usually I've found, related to thoughts, maybe fears in their own minds and its best to give them all the time they need. It really shouldn't take a guy too long, a week, couple weeks, but after a month, if nothing has changed, that way enough time for a guy to sort through things in their mind. I guess men can be like this all their life. After a divorce and dating, I met a guy online and immediately met in person, Hit it off, actually quite well, intense attraction in all ways, to the character, personality and sexually. We saw each other every other day over two weeks and then he asked for a break for at least a week, maybe more, asked me not to contact him, gave no explanation. I wasn't worried as I had enough self confidence to know I would own up to if I did something wrong and knew I hadn't. I followed his wishes. After only 4 days, he left a message on my cell while I was at work, at lunch I returned the call. He thanked me for calling and said he was afraid I'd be angry at him for wanting to avoid me and that I might not call him back. This was a man in late forties. So yeah, people always worry about that kind of stuff.
He asked me to stop by right after work and he'd explain. All it was is a great fear that arose because of the speed with which we connected and how intense and that scared him. He know it could either be infatuation, just the intenseness of a new relationship or the real thing and the best way to sort thru his feelings was to not have me around. Some younger guys might not think to explain whatever their reasons are. And in your case, when you finally ask if he doesn't volunteer an explanation first, it may not be something you like hearing, so be mentally prepared for an answer of any sort, to not take things personally. I can think of one reason for a delayed change in him. Not due to your confession at all. There may be a female going after him, it may be more in secret right now so you aren't aware of it but she may know you are friends and know somehow that you felt romantic towards him and doesn't have enough self confidence to handle the fact of the past and sees you as a constant threat and asked him to cut off contact with you and he agreed because he really wants to try a relationship with her. He doesn't want to hurt you and thinks if he doesn't tell you at all you won't feel at least curious if not somewhat hurt. Guys dont always realize that what they are doing to protect your feelings is actually doing the opposite. I have another example from life. A man who was separated and they planned to divorce, I met her and heard the same from her. We had a whirlwind romance of a year together, so in love and then she wanted him back, to fix their marriage. He began to distance himself in his behavior towards me. Knew it would hurt me to tell me that he decided to work things out with her and go back. I asked if something was wrong, got no answer but after 2 weeks, he couldn't pretend anymore and cried one evening. And finally told me. Yes it hurt, we both cried, but short of having a triad relationshp with her blessing, there wasn't anything else that could be done. I was relieved at least to know that it wasn't anything I had done to ruin things. HIs reasons may not be so dramatic but equally important in his mind and he may be trying to protect you from whateer the truth is. Just a couple things to think sbout so you can be prepared when time comes to ask and encourage him he can tell you anything and that you won't take it personally.
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I'd listen to your friend. I think he just needs some space, and if that doesn't work then approach him. :) Hope everything goes/went well.
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