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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

Hi I'm Jay and I'm 15 and my boyfriend told me he bought condoms today, he's 16, and we haven't done anything more than make out and touching.And him buying condoms is kind of shock to me, I asked him why he bought them and he said just in case but we won't be doing anything anytime soon. He knows I'm still iffy on having sex and that I'm not sure If I want to do it yet. What does this mean. Is he planning on having sex with me? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks

Hon, you have to ask him cus my guesses are as good as yours but may not match what was in his mind when he did it.

If you want just guesses, they won't help you any, but perhaps it doesn't mean anything more than he would like to have them on hand just in case the day comes, months from now when the two of you both decide to go forward with it and then doesnt want to have to put if off cus you dont have any So maybe he's just being thougtful.

Or, he may understand that girls worry about getting pregnant and simply announced the fact he has them in case that was your main reason for not feeling ready for sex. This would mean, he is just guessing also and not fully and openly discussing this topic with you. Keep in mind, I mean REAL talk, not half answers, or a bunch of shrugs and "I don't know's".

Or, as manu young males at this age, they can't wait to have their first sexual experience. Perhaps they believe thier friends have all had sex and he hasn't so he feels to look look less than a man to them, he wants to be able to claim the same, or perhaps no pressure other than his own hormones driving him to want to have sex and the purchase of condoms was his round a bout way of announcing to you he plans to keep pestering and pressuring you for sex, or just a way to let you know he's still thinking about it and hasn't forgotton.
You can put all your energy into second guessing why he bought them and why he bothered to annnounce it to you, and not be closer to an answer.
If you and he are not ready to talk frankly and openly about sex together, thats a sure sign neither of you is ready for doing it. My daughters all told me they'd decided it was best to wait until they graduated HS before they had sex and they did exactly that. So if you decide to wait until you are older, tell him so. If he can't accept that, and still brings up wanting to have sex with you, then hon, reality is, he's thinking more about himself, his needs, feelings and urges, than about you, how you feel, or about supporting your wishes. And one who will honor your wishes, is one who really has deep feelings for you.

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I moved away from my best friend, and was devastated. I had a lot of trouble coping with that. Although we really missed and wanted to see eachother, we luckily both had phones. On my last day at the same school as her, got her phone number so we could still text and keep in touch. We would text for hours on end every day. This continued for a while. But then she started getting depressed- her family didn't love her and was abusive towards her. I tried to help her cope, but it didn't work. Later on, she became even more depressed when HER best friend committed suicide. And, to top it off, she went to a concert of her favorite band. When she got the phone number of her favorite member in the band. She called him a few nights later and asked him out. He said yes. She was overjoyed, and they had a good relationship for a while. However, after a few weeks of dating, he told her that the reason he had said yes that one night was because he was drunk. They broke up and she was devastated. All of her discomforts added up together made her make the one move that she could never, ever, undo. She committed suicide. However, I didn't know at the time. I texted her over and over for weeks, and she never responded. I begged her to text back, and asked why she didn't. And then, on one perfectly normal day, my day- and currently my life- was ruined. I finally got a response from her contact. However, it wasn't from her. It was from her mother. It said, "I'm sorry, but she committed suicide a while ago. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." So, now I'm devastated... I can't believe it... I will never see her again, and I don't know how to cope with it. Please help me.

I know when a kid at a school my kids went to died, whether from accident, murder, or suicide the school wouldn't hide it. It was announced and they set up in school grievance counselors for any teens who needed it, to talk to. When my mom died of a long illness, the day it happened, we were told they would be sending a childrens grievance counselor to my sisters home and asked us to pull the kids out of school to have all the grandkids assembled for grievance counseling.
So if you tell your parents and they can't set up for someone to talk with you, then see your school counselor ASAP, explain what happend and you need help coping with it. Authorities take these things seriously where I live, I would assume it is so for all children and teens thru the country.
You can't get over this on your own. Grief is a complicsted process and has many stages it goes thru which are all important even the anger stage. If a person skips any stages or gets stuck and stays in one stage, they will never get over their grief. Someone gave me a good book when my mom dies. It was called "Good Grief". I dont believe it is published anymore as it is very old but there must be other good books to read that help guide you through the grieving process. Dont rush though, just to finish a book on grief, give yourself the time you need to successfully come through one stage before going on to dealling with the next and yes, there is pretty much an order to it in which humans naturally will go thru the process even without knowing what a counselor or book says the stages are. But it sure helps to have those who understand exactly what you are going thru.
I am sorry for your loss but dont want to see it affect yu in a way where you decide to stop moving forward with your life simply because she is no longer around. Do seek help from the proper sources.

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I am a senior at high school and told my friend I liked him. It got awkward but we talked it out and he told me he kind of likes me too but doesn't want to date because of differences (religion) and the awkwardness went away. Now a couple of months later he seems distant and won't contact me. I asked if he is upset at me and he said no. Do guys eventually end up saying how they actually feel? Or will be never tell and just ignore me forever? Any other way to find out? Thanks.

Men in general tend to not share feelings or even stories or chatter as females do as its a little bit of the male characteristices along with learned traits by watching others. There will always be those who are slow to warm up but once comfortable with a person, they share feelings and conversations very easily. Then there are men like my husband who has no problem at all sharing things verbally, whether his feelings, stories, his observations in me or others and to teach people or compliment them, etc... It is a part of his personality that is in no way affected by the fact he is a male.
You already know something can never come of it between you. trying to remain friends with some after one has confessed their feelings, even if they plan to not push it, will always make the other feel uncomfortable. If you were in his shoes, you would understand what he is facing. Any time, no matter how little is spent with you, all he will be able to focus or think about is that you still have these feelings for him because as you know, feelings dont disapppear overnight just because they arent reciprocated. And he will know that you are pretending to be okay with it and just like him as a friend only when he knows it can never be. Yes a person can be a friend and a lover but once the romance feelings are made known the other can't go back to ever seeing you as just a friend anymore.
I wouldn't be hoping for any talk of any kind from him. Just know that it isn't you being ignored because there's something lacking in you or wrong with you. Some people just don't feel any chemistry towards another when only one does and that is common at any age, even with older adults. And yes it hurts but its part of life. You can't make a person choose to have feelings if pheremones are not compatible. YOu can have enough in common for friendship with some people but if the chemistry is lacking for one or both it will never move forward to romance. So ask yourself what good you think it will do to know how he is feeling in perfect detail. Just give him space and move on. If he decides he owes you more of an explanation, he'll give one when and if he's ever ready, any pushing and bugging for one will just make him retreat further.

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so i work with this woman she's been wanting to hangout so got her number i called her up her phone rang 4 times heard her saying something then it just say on the phone call ended i am pretty sure its her phone not me being hang up you know when something that isn't right when you work in the restaurant they all talk about the bad and the good i have not seen her or talk to her for almost 2 too 3 weeks the vibe that i am getting from my co work is a very positive one so j am sure by now she's talking to my co work you know how the ladys are they like to talk about guys i bet she's wondering how come jomie hasn't called or text my plan is just get to the point what i am thinking is just go to my work wait for her to get off and ask her to follow me to starbucks the place where we work its like 5 too 10 minutes to drive and the starbucks its like i just walk there so isn't a good idea to ask her that way ill just stop by to my work ask her to follow me to starbucks

Is this for real? You've written several times now about the same thing unless I am mistaken and there are 3 or 4 different people all writing in at the same time about the exact same scenerio and question. If you are who I think you are, you even wrote a private response to me...are aware of and have used dating info from experts on the web.
Why are you still asking? There's nothing more that any one of us can say to really help you.

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last year for christmas i received a Neil Diamond t shirt called Neil Diamond is forever when i was expecting the James Taylor figurine i requested but i did not receive and now im getting the to think that i probally never will and that next christmas i will get another Neil Diamond t - shirt and i really do not want anymore Neil Diamond shirts is there a way i can prevent that and how i can sell my Neil Diamond shirt and not buy another one if your Dragonflymagic can you please get this in your advice column .

Basically the ways that people get rid of things they don't want or no longer need are several, put the item on line for sale at a fraction of original price, or in a garage sale, put the word out to your peers that you have a Neil Diamond tee to give away, donate to a local clothing charity. And if you don't want to bother with any of that, then just put it in the garbage, which is sad as someone is likely to want it.
Unless you are psychic and can see the future, there's no way to predict what you will receive.
You also didn't say from whom. If its family getting that for you, next time you receive something you don't like, be nice and say something like, "Hey I know I might be hard to buy for but I did give some suggestions. I thank you for the thought but i will never use this, So where did you buy it so I can return it and get money instead. That way you wont have something sitting around you dont want. or save up and buy the thing you really want for yourself.

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Hi my name is Sarah and I am 17 years old. I am writing this letter to get advice about something involving me and my boyfriend Greg who have been dating for a year and 7 months I believe. The love that I have for Greg has faded away and I don't feel the same way as I did before about us dating. Iv attempted to break up with him before but I would usually end up crying, for unknown reasons, then trying to convince myself what I know is true, which is that I know it's best for me and for him. He also always finds a way to pull me back into the relationship. Recently I have been starting to have feeling for someone else so this relationship needs to come to an end but I'm afraid that the next time I try I will just start crying again for no reason and him ending up pulling me back in. I wanna be free and live my life which I can't really do while I'm dating him. I wanna be able to go and hang out with friends without him being sad about it. I just can't do this anymore but I have a fear I won't be able to get out of this relationship.

Hello Sarah

You have several issues going on here and you have stated what you want to have happen. When it comes to how someone else responds and their feelings, I'll only say that that isnt a guarantee that you can remain close friends with him if you successfully break it off. He will simply become an aquaintance you don't associate with anymore. Lets put it this way. If a guy you really did love currently said he was breaking up with you, could you stand being around him, hanging out as close friends and not have romantic feelings, just friend feelings? Wouldn't it hurt to be reminded that you don't really 'have' him and he left you? If this guy is a normal person without personal issues and problems, that is how he will react.
If there are any issues on his part which you did not specifically say there was, he might react in clingy ways, not wanting to let go, hoping to hang around alot in order to change your mind...which is why you may be saying you've had failed attempts before. Another thing that has me concerned is you saying you want to be able to go hang out with your friends. Was He outrightly verbally forbidding you or trying to keep you so busy with him that you had no time for them??
A dating relationship, or marriage for that matter doesn't mean you give up any little bit of who you are, the partner doesnt get to own you and direct your life (in case this has been happening) and tho they are the closest dearest relationship you might have, a partner shouldn't make their sweetheart their whole life to the point they don't have one of their own. Even in relationships, it is normal to remain and retain your own self and not change to please a partner

That all said, I can only guess, something you may not have seen, but could be possible is that he is a very insecure male, low self image, and so is clingy. Many can unfortunately end of very controlling to the point of verbal and physical abuse if not now, in the future. I know. I experienced that.

Now to address possibilities as to why you may cry and get upset when trying to break up. You may by nature be a very loving caring person, nurturing, wanting to help other people rather than hurt them. Also, if he is your first serious love, it has indeed left an impression on your heart. And we know our feelings seem to come from our heart, but they are actually ruled over and controlled by our subconscious mind. Your subconscious is unlikely to give up easily the original feelings it had for him, the memories make it hard to give up, but your more logical conscious mind sees some very practical reasons for moving on. So my guess is that the battle and failure is more to do with what is going on inside you rather than any thing the boyfriend is saying. If you could get your conscious and subconscious mind to stop battling each other and agree to work together, you'd have no problem breaking up, no matter what he says or does.

You need to treat your subconscious as a separate person with-in you with its very own unique personality. On one hand it handles some great responsibilities like making sure we blink our eyes and keep breathing without our conscious mind having to do so, it runs our dream times, and on the other hand, it can be like a little child, wanting to please us and taking actions it thinks will help you but actually hurt you worse, but only out of naivity, of wanting to please you and make the things you think most about to come true. thinking that the more time spent thinking about something means that you want it, desire it...it doesnt differentiate whether it is something good or bad your thoughts are focused on, just the constant focus on. So it will be slow to let go of the idea you no longer want to date him. All I can say, is that I explain this by talking aloud or inside my head to myself, or actually my sub. mind and repeatedly explaining why I can no longer stay with the person. Explain that your thoughts about him are not because you want to keep having feelings for him but you want to break up with him and that your sub is not helping. Ask for your subcon. mind to help you as this is always its greatest desire. But its like talking to a child...and you may have to remind it several times a day, in fact a good time is every time it sends you a thought about him and turn it around to say, I still want to break up with him. Its for the best good for both of us. Plesae help me to do this. And say that several times a day. YOur own words of course.

I believe that too many people begin a bf/gf relationship for the wrong reasons or under the wrong assumptions. Let me explain, as this may help if you feel any guilt here.
People first go thru an attraction stage, mostly based on looks, what little they can see of how a person carries themself. this is what most people today call "Liking a person" when actually, there is not enough knowledge about them to really "like' them as a person inside yet. So the best way to find out is hanging out with the person if they respond to an approach from each other, meaning they both feel an attraction. this doesnt guarantee there is more to it with them. Just the opening door here. Hanging out or dating as an investigative means to discover more about them, if you have things in common and feel romance with each other is important. Most people assume you have to 'make a commitment' to become bf/gf with each other to do so. This is where we run into trouble and the reason there are so many hopes dashed and broken heart, someone hoped for too much too soon. It should be once a person has dated to investigate, and this stage can be one at a time or several at a time, as it is just the investigative stage, but a person should make it clear that they are only dating and seeing several people until they make their final decision who they will commit to moving on to the next stage with.
Males do this often, are familiar with the process, calling it 'wanting to keep their options open only many will abuse it, an excuse to sample many women and not make a commitment, turning months of dating into years. This is actually a fairly short stage. A person should know in a month or two of seeing each other often if they want to move on to making a commitment. I have chosen you to be my bf/gf and will date no other from this point on. the dating couple stage can involve living together for those old enough to do so. The two continue to get to know each other even closer, build trust, etc. and the end result would be, I want to be with you the rest of my life, with or without a marriage contract, or one or both of you discover something even at this stage that is a dealt breaker, non negotiable, that you can't live with, or you'd be settling for far less, and so even at this stage, a couple can break up. Its all about gaining experience and knowledge with the ultimate goal, finding our life long partner one day.

So you should feel no guilt over wanting to leave because your feelings for him died over time, yes even 1 1/2 years. It is part of the normal process that will eventually years down the road lead to a life partner. Allowing yourself to remain stuck with him, you will not gain other perspectives and learn more. What you felt in the begining could have been the excitement of something or someone new to you. Same as the heightened excitement over a gift you wanted as a kid and finally got. Played with every day but after some time, it lost its appeal to hold your attention, while other toys continued to hold your attention thru the years, all because some supported a gift of yours within in. Such as my example, getting an etch a sketch or spirograph as gifts as a kid. I never lost interest in those as I had an artistic bent and talents and those just supported and helped enhance that and therefore held my attention. Same with relationships. You are entitled to discover the difference of whether it was more a fad than reall feelings. good luck

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do boys get hickeys

Male bodies are built and work exactly the same as female bodies with the exception of genitals, so yes males can get hickeys. try an experiment. suck hard for a long time on a spot on your forearm and see what happens. The sucking hard brings blood up to the surface just under all the skin layers. It all returns to where it needs to go after a day or two. A hickey isn't strictly something that sexual play causes, so it can appear on any part of the body and be self inflicted to areas a person can reach on themself.

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There is a part of me that is self-conscious because of past experiences. The thing I am most concious of is my outward appearance. People tell me I look lost most of the time and sometimes I am unsure where I am at. But, other times I just think its just my natural facial expression. Although, I am an attractive person, I dont like being percieved as looking lost when I am not. However, I think it just a facial expression I have a lot. Should I just accept it? It makes me selfconscious. In general, how can I increase my confidence?

Just in case its not your facial expression, I will mention that things that cant be seen by mortal eyes also have just as strong an impact on people. So when you say people tell me, I assume this means all sorts of people, not just your friends and peers who may not know any better than offering useless comments. If you get this also from various adults, those who know you and those who may not, it may not be what they see on your face, it's only what they label it for lack of not knowing any better themselves.
What I am getting at is the energy field all bodies project outward from themself, aura's you may have heard of. Lots is communicated in energy. People can pick up on fears and such. Heck even animals. If a person is acting friendly and is smiling but inside is fearing a dog or being on a horse, the animals are going to react to your fear and act in a defensive posture, trying to growl, bite, run away, etc. See what I mean. People have these same instincts as animals however most aren't aware of it or actually use it. So as far as emotions go, positive ones can be seen too and anything else in between, like a low self esteem, lack of confidence or lack of a purpose or direction in life. If you feel self conscious due to past experience, then people are unknowingly picking up on that feeling in you but unaware of whats really going on, or that this ability exists in them, they have to have a solid explanation for what they pick up, a tangible one they can see and hear and touch, and so you get the comments that seem consistant from everyone as they put it into words that they feel best describe what they think they are seeing but actually sensing and calling it that 'lost look'

Well, in a way, it is true, due to your past, your lost something, your confidence. When you are ready to gain it back, let me know.
I had to do the same thing and choose in my last year of high school to finally do something about it as I was sick and tired of how I was and wanted to grow past that. But you can't and won't change until you badly want to. If ready, ask me and I will share how to gain self confidence. Dont put in comments, as I cant answer there. You'd have to go to my column and write me from there.

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I'm 11, and i seriously think i am bi. I remember being young, not knowing what gay or bi meant, and I would play family with friends, sometimes i wanted to be a mommy with another mommy, or i would like to be a mommy with a daddy, or i would see men and women and think i wouldn't mind dating either. I like seeing guys shirtless, and I also have watched the Anaconda video a few hundred times because it turned me on. Not sure if it is because Nicki is more developed, or I'm bi. But i know i am not straight. I knew forever i wasn't into just boys. I've tried to tell my mom, but i feel she would prefer if i was straight and would only like guys, because she is constantly trying to find more evidence to shut it down. I've also been a little possesive of a certain friends. She has been getting close to a guy, and I want her to sort of not date him. Tbh, i could go either way, but not any women with man genetials or men with fake girl parts, that is gross to me (no offense). So what should i do/think?

Good advice so far to be yourself, however, the reality is you also want to live in a peaceful home as you have 7 more years until you turn 18 and are considered an adult by law, whether mom is ready to switch off her mothering and raising you role, or not. Parents will always be your parents no matter how old you or they get and its hard for parents to begin to treat their children as adults and allow them the role to be their own person and make their own choices. Before that, while we are pre teens and teens, a parent really would do best to teach their children how to learn to make good decisions on their own by coming up with ideas and options and then using the parents as a sounding boards, like the advice givers here, to run your thoughts and ideas by. However a parent needs to be honestly open minds and give you only other angles and viewpoints you may not have thought of, repercussions if any, to your choices/plans, in order to train you to make the best life decisions, no matter what their actual preconceived wishes for you are. However, that all is extremely difficult for parents to do. I know, I am a mom of 3 daughters and though I did right alot of the time, I did on occasion fall into doing the wrong thing, and laying down the law instead of training them to do and make good right choices for themselves and learn to move on when theyve made mistakes. However they knew they could talk to me and tell me when I was falling back to acting the mom of a young child and I would amend my ways.
If you have honestly tried talking to Mom and find she is not openminded at all, you will have to keep your feelings to yourself. Your sex life or even your foray into discovering your sexuality is something that is a personal matter and not something a mother can change. But if shes unreasonable. It might be wise to do your best to hide it from me. Once you turn 18 and are now legally an adult, there will be no need to hide it any longer just to keep the peace. However at 18, a parent is also no longer legally bound to provide for that child, roof over the head, clothing, food by law too. Keep that in mind is needing to live with mom for a while until you can move out on own.

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Let me begin, we created the ouigia board so we would move around some glass and think a demon is doing it, then run around screaming, expecting something to happen so our brain makes it seem like something is happening. Then we make up bloody marry and red rum bullshit, wich is stupid, and makes no sense. And if you live in my town, you will never hear the end of the countless urban legends about a certain street. I feel bad for people who live there, they have to deal with idiots driving their car and beeping in front of stupid houses or trying to film Mary Buckout and countless other stupid shit. Then Charlie Charlie. Your breath is doing it, i did it, it was fun watching everyone hoard my lunch table like i was dying, and everyone screaming at the slightest movement of anything in God's green earth, and these chain letters show how little creativity we have unless it's insulting someone's mother or whats gay, and despite school, no one knows proper grammer or how to spell. The question i would like to know, why do we love to try to scare ourselves?

Aquamarine is right, that is the way our subconscious minds work. The feeling not during something scary, but the feel good hormones released after making it through a traumatic or scary event, even if a chosen, self inflicted thing, gives a certain euphoria... it makes people feel more alive. That would mean the opposite is that so many feel like they're just a robot doing the same thing every day, find nothing ever changes, and life can get boring and feel meaningless quite easily. Think of scary things being used like caffeine, a jolt to help people wake up, only here fear used to help make one feel alive. While it works, I do not recommend doing so for the reasons of getting addicted to that rush, the feel good hormones. It is better to learn to feel just as alive being using our more positive hormones. Thing is, often thats more subtle or takes a bit more time to get the same results as its not as instant as fear which is not only an emotion but it is a natural instinct born into every living creature, the instinct of fight or flight as mentioned. And the instinct being pushed to the forefront artificially but no real danger is what can become an addicting practice.

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Im in relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years now. Im 24 years old, kinda peak age for a person like me who wants to settle down. But my father dissaprove ny boyfriend. He thinks that i dont have better future with my boyfriend. It hurts me when he judge my boyfriend. My father is really strick, well at some point i understand him, he's away from us coz he's working abroad. He was just protecting us and he wants us to be in a better place. If he only knew that my boyfriend is a hardworking person, he buys me anything, treat me right, especially respect me.

You said Dad works abroad, so he hasn't met the guy. No need to worry about any conclusions he jumps to until he actually has a chance to meet him face to face and observe the guy for himself and see how he treats you. Then if he isn't the only one who sees a red flag but others too, you may want to try to look for what ever things he sees that are not right. in 6 yrs time, I would think you should have been able to spot if this guy has some serious issues that would be harmful to you and the relationship. So don't get worked up about it ahead of time. Dad's male characteristic of being protecter is coming to the forefront, he can't help wanting to protect you and make sure you have a great guy. In this case, he may feel useless to you being unable to meet and observe the guy for himself and just gives his opinion without all the facts. No one is perfect but know Dad has likely reacted this way out of love for you and wanting the best for you. He is forgetting this his little girl has grown up and as an adult is able to make her own decisions now. If he still doesnt approve once the two men meet, its hard but its your life and you can't let Dad live his life through you, just follow your gut feeling and do the best you know for your own life. Good luck

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Dog walker, dog groomer, dog sitter and dog trainer in the city in the USA?

I've tried looking it up, but could never get what I was looking for.

Any help, please and thank you.

Here's a site that may help. Scroll to bottom and theres a link for dog sitters and one for cat sitters. Perhaps you can get an idea from there.

http://sittercompare.com/

Also, I tried putting a search in google titled, 'where to find dog sitters' and got a whole list popping up for my city. If you dont get a list for your city, add the name of your city in the search. then read the ads of those who do this for a living. With summer coming up there will be those who will need pet sitters. Even if you intend to focus on walking dogs more, you can still find other peoples rates. For the teen and college age person who just wants a little extra money on the side, and doesnt yet have a proven track record, some may not be as willing to give you a chance unless you've got a couple of referrals from a few neighbors or friends of the family who can testify how comfortable you are around their pets and play with them and interact well with, are confident with. If a teen, be careful about advertising as you can easily get a person with ulterior motives calling you under the pretence of needing your services only to try something else once you get there.
Also, I do not think people will want to pay whatever a professional price is in your area if you have no previous experience and you may have to have lower rates to get customers, especially those interested in saving a little money.
A good way to go about advertising is to talk to the parents if your young and they can let coworkers know if they don't have pet sitters lined up for their vacations this summer that you are available for hire and might even say, they will be available to back you up if any emergency should occur. This may help greatly in getting your calender booked.
hopes this helps you some and good luck.

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My bf is really shy and doesn't talk much so I feel like he doesn't accnolage me enough. Plus he shut off ALL contact way with me and I found another guy I like. So should I break up with him since he practaly ignores me?I'm a teen.

If he's shut off all contact, either he's too immature and doesn't know how to handle a relationship and not ready for one, OR

He is no longer interested and doesnt have the courteousy or knowledgge how to tell you except to refuse any contact.

Sounds like a relationship only in name, by what you are labeling it, but certainly not by actions.

Instead of assuming things, find a way to get a written note to him to ask one last time for a chance to talk or if you truly feel done with him, to let him know you're breaking up and moving on to someone else.
Give the note to a friend of his to hand over, if you know where he lives and are often at his house and know the family, give it to a family member to give to him. Even if he isn't showing you respect and good manners is no reason for you to do the same, let him know rather than let him think you're cheating on him with another guy simply cus he didn't know it was over.

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Ok, i don't like rock because i can't here what they are saying and it's pretty much three cords on a guitar while screaming. I like pop in the sense it isn't too hardcore, but i also don't like how a majority of the artists don't sing about passionate things. Except for p!nk, Imagine Dragons, One Republic, etc. So what genre is good for me?

Maybe you can do what I have done when I wanted to broaden my choices of music genre's. Go to the music section of a store, tell what you currently listen to and that you would like exposure to other types of genre's. Ask the clerk to select the best representation of other genre's and then use the headset and scanner to scan the cd, and listen to short selections of each song to get an idea. Just by the name of a genre, or the most advertised singers of a genre or the type of crowd that followed them, I may not have tried to even listen to a particular type if not for the suggestions. Good luck.

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Some kids were playing that thing charlie charlie. I watched. They said, "charlie Charlie are you here?" It went to no. Kids were filming ad laughing. Then at the end of lunch they said,"Charlie charlie can we go?" It spun to no. They all freaked out and left. Now, i see spirits. I've seen relatives since i was young, i had in depth conversations. I've described spirits I've seen to my grandparents, and they say that sounds like my dead aunt, or dead great grandma, etc. Also, I've seen a shadow ghost, and that has been confirmed it's real. After lunch i went to my locker and was talking when i saw a black mist cloud thing in the corner of my eyes following the kids playing. I've heard an exorcist warned people this would happen online, and I'm not sure if I'm seeing it because i expect it, or that's this "charlie" thing. I mean, i know i see spirits. My aunt had a phsycic reading and they said i see spirits. When a preist came to the house in wich i saw mad grandpa ghost (it said it was grandpa. I have one dead grandpa i saw him before, he is white and not angry.) And he stopped in the middle of the making house holy thing, dropped his cross, and ran. And he avoided ever coming back. Seeing ghost was traumatic. My brother (3) freaked the fuck out, I saw it walk up the stairs and was petrefied, i couldn't move. Later on my mom came up (we were by ourselves, I'm 11) and it ran down the hall into a bedroom. I couldn't control my tears, i fell to the ground crying and my brother was having a panic attack and was on the floor and my mom had to carry him home. The next time we went to my great grandmas apartment and my brother ran up the stairs to that apartment yelling grandpa! (He's autistic so he can't form sentences) and i broke down crying again, and my mom had to go up again. Thing is, i never liked that place. Every time we pull up in the driveway my brother cries. I remember my aunt once asked me to get some water from up there when i was 8, I ran up, pretty much JUMPED down the stairs, slammed the door and ran outside. I never liked being up there alone. Even with someone i feel uneasy. My mom says when i was 3 i had a meltdown up there, my cousin got her, and i jumped down the stairs into my mom's arms, amd said the man upstairs was crying. I felt the same way when this mist was following them. Except for more overwhelmed. I nearly fell apart and wanted to run around yelling it was angry and you should watch out it was going to hurt somebody, because that was what i heard when it came, but it was school so i couldn't. You see, ghosts send me thoughts to talk to me. Or i just know somehow they are thinking such. This one was going to do some creepy shit to them, and i am seriously scared for them. I keep feeling this unsettling tug on my stomach. I didn't play, so I'm not cursed or anything. Same tugging from the house. And one of the girls who played was apparently having scary images and was crying. The only thing i know is i am never getting involved in any demon summoning freaky ass spirit shit. I heard it was a gravity trick, but i put two pencils in the same fashion and sat for a while, nothing. It stayed put. So this is bullshit.

Well, since others have seen and been scared by entities of the spirit world, we know its unlikely that you have a mental illness and are seeing such things because of it.

When one has the ability to see and hear spirits with their physical, mortal eyes, not just pictures in their head, it can be scary at first. However there are good creatures on the spiritual plane, like your angels, spirit guides, and relatives who have passed on. There are also people who were unhappy and mean in life before they died. For whatever reason, they don't cross over to the spiritual plane to be with Jesus but choose to remain earthbound. Some are harmless, However some can have very evil intent to scare or harm a person.
While a person can have a spirit attach itself to you, and travel with you no matter where you go, these souls in limbo seem to stay in the plaace they lived, or where they worked or places they frequented often. I have an adopted sister who has been able to see such things since she was 3 yrs old. Now as an adult, she assists police in missing persons cases, and helps ghosts, the souls stuck on earth to cross over. What you will need is to find someone, an adult who has this gifting and can lead you and train you. It is something you need to learn how to live with because as she tells me, you can't find a way to turn it off. You nee to learn how to protect yourself from spirits with evil intent which for the most part are very few and how to determine which are harmless and which are not. This is not taught in any class that I know of, only from another with such abilities.

I read a book by a Christian author who had these abilities start later in life, as a young adult and was confused as the church taught this was evil and bad. She ran into a couple who both had these abilities, took her under their wing and trained her. It was as if God led them to her. She went on to having a healing ministry with her angels and spirit guide assisting her. Since churches shy away from and misunderstand this ability even more than regular people, thinking its of the devil or demonic, a person can't find understanding there very easily. You'll find most such called psychics in what is generally called pagan groups, new agers, druids, witches. Most people of those titles have nothing evil about them and do not practice black magic or do anything hateful. They believe in the same god and jesus as christians, i know cus I have humg out with many of them and in this group, there are more people with these abilities to be found than anywhere else. I have some too, not mortal sight thank God. It would be distracting but I can recieve pictures and thoughts in my head and when proven later, they're right on each time.

I am taking the time to explain because I do believe you and know this to be a truth and NO its not caused by playing a game like Charlie Charlie. However, lonely spirits can tell when you can see them and are attracted to you like a magnet. So if you do any kind of focus on something of a spiritual kind or spirit game play, you may attract more attention, but no, it doesnt cause it.
I am praying for God to send you someone who has these abilities who can help you. My sis told me how awkward and embarrassing it is at times. Like when she had a house full of ladies and a cat walked in her open window and she got out just a few words, "Hey look at that..." and realized in a split second it was not a mortal cat in flesh and blood but spirit. and couldn't say anything in mixed company. She also had the ability to see spirits in plain photos. LIke watching a ghost chaser show and a photo of a window where people have seen a ghost before and I am seeing an empty window on the photo on TV yet here she is next to me nodding, yup theres a spirit in that window, a woman who looks like....
It freaked me out that she can still see them even in photos that we can't see them in. I understand seeing ones right there in the room/ She also sees angels and gets many requests from people asking to describe their angels to them. She sees both passed on grandma's regularly who are now working as her spirit guides. THIS is the kind of person you will need to help you understand all about this ability to see the spirit realm. I know of an author now passed on, who had the abilities from childhood and believed it didn't stop at the forms of spirits I mentioned but included nature and tree spirits, fairies and was able to see them too on a regular basis. She told me fairies were in abundance in my garden until i left the house and the ex husband. On a visit by the house, she noted the fairies no longer were evident anywhere in the garden. So even tho I can't see them, I guess they liked my care for nature and moved with me.

I hope this gives you some encouragement. If you can, start looking for psychics in your local area, mainly those who deal with ghosts and such and see if you can get one to talk to you and give you some helpful things to use and do.
I wish you the best dear.

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K this is such a dumb question but this guy I really like (he's older) and I always try and say or ask random funny things to get him to think I'm exciting and funny, like even if he never likes me that way, as long as he thinks I'm awesome that's okay with me. I'm 16 by the way and okay the guy I like is my teacher. I'm just running out of funny or exciting things to say does anyone have any suggestions?

I dont see teachers as hating any of their students unless they misbehave greatly. In general, most teacher already like their students and don't need the student to be anything other than their real self in class. Maybe some teachers will have a favorite student or two and usually its due to something they have in common or the student reminds them of a son daughter, niece or nephew. But it is always something that just comes up without the student trying so hard to become teachers pet.
The word you used gives away what your deepeset subconscious feelings are about this, you want him to notice you as a woman, a peer, whether you have realized that yet with your conscious mind. As far as being on friendly terms with a teacher, that is normal. But its a fine line to when one or the other is trying to get the kind of attention from the other that signals this is a peer, a non teacher student relationship.

During teen yearss, this is common for girls. Especially during puberty when she begins changing into a young woman. A young lady has a natural instinct and need to begin to be recognized as a good looking female, and while you may not be thinking anything more like being sexy for him, young females need male approval from a man who is Safe. I get it. Most girls get this need taken care of if they have a good relationship with Dad if they have a father. I remember putting on a new outfit, or getting dressed up for a school dance and asking the family how I looked. It was so great when my own Dad would notice me by stating how I was growing up so quick and looking as pretty as my mom and teasing that he might soon have to beat the guys off. It may sound silly or insignificant to you but your subconscious mind really needs to have this and hear it. If you dont get it from Dad, an older brother, uncle, grandpa are usually next in line and then of course, male teachers, your girlfriends dads, your parents close friends who've seen you grow up. Someone you can feel safe with, knowing they wont do anything inappropriate but just compliment you. Even just admiring looks is enough.
This may be why its so important to you. However, if it feels like you have to put on an act, like plan and rehearse your lines ahead of time as to what you'll say, then you're forcing it and not being yourself in the first place. Take a deep breath and relax. All is not lost. You've just been trying too hard to win his attention. Teachers don't think in terms of their student being exciting, an interesting young person maybe.
Exciting lends more towards a real sexual attraction and wanting to do somethng about it even tho its against the law for anyone over 18 to do that with a minor. Just be yourself, do not put on an act. Its best to learn that now because once you are dating guys, you will want a guy to be open and honest and real with you and its good to be the same for them. When we try to hard to impress or be liked, we put on a truly fake self, nice but still not our own personality cus we think we fall short in the personality department. most people question whether a person will really like them for theirself. the danger in trying too hard to impress and unintentionally getting sucked into being someone not quite ourself, is that when it comes to dating boys, they may actually like the hyped up, fake persona simply because they happen to have something in common and when they get to know the real you, you're different enough to not feel like a good match for them. Dont fall into that trap of being someone you aren't to get someone to like you. If the real you cant think of anything witty, then there's no need for words, just smile, say hi and hope yur having a nice day.


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I don't know what to do! Me and my mom have a bad relationship, she always compares me to my dad and gets angry at me for little things. Some of my friends like to hurt me and just make me feel like I'm a piece of crap. I'm not doing well in school, I just can't make myself concentrate. I always lose myself in my mind, thinking about who I wish to be. I'm not the healthiest person in my house, I need braces, I have eye problems, I have diabetes, and I get frequent migraines. I get really angry and just feel like I want to punch myself, and sometimes I do. I think really dark thoughts and sometimes enjoy it. I can't talk to my family about it, because they always think I'm exaggerating. I feel like I have only a little sanity left. Please help, I can't take it anymore!

If you're still living at home or underage, you are in a bad spot. It seems both your parents have anger issues and just use you as their vent or release valve for all the nasty pressure that builds up in them til they have to explode.
I know from a similar experience, that this kind of stress causes major stress the stress that affects a persons mental health and self worth, or it attacks a persons health, or both.

Of course you aren't doing well in school, we lose concentrating ability when we have major stress in our lives. YOu have to remember its not you, its them, they all are the ones with issues. I was in a bad marriage, verbally abused 24/7. No escape for me in that having 3 kids too and not able to find a way out. Over the years the stress built. I experienced migraines, lived with constant headaches, got stomach ulcers, total body rashes that came and went and itched like Hell, among other afflictions, all that came about due to the stress on my body.

Not sure how you can get help but my first thought is to find some loving, positive people to come into your life and there's a greater possibility of that by calling the closest church to where you live and talking to the pastor and seeing if they have a program where they send out a van to pick up those to bring to church who can't get there on their own. Many do this. You need to be able to talk to someone who can be in your life, not just an advice giver who is far away, on the net. I would talk to a school counselor, anything that is related to affecting your concentration and ability to do well in school comes into the realm of what they handle.
You need to be honest, tell them everything, give good examples of what your parents say. Do not get overly emotional and angry, just remain calm in speak in as adult a manner as you can so they don't get the impression you as the typical teen who has issues with their parents. Verbal abuse is abuse, same as physical abuse and harder to get help for because the marks on your soul, heart and mind are not visible like the physical bruise. So you don't ask for help once and give up, ask the same people again and again. the squeaky wheel is the one that gets the attention and help. I am sorry that you have the home life you do. Your punching and dark thoughts have come about due to your stress. Once the situation changes, you won't need these anymore.
I would also wager that due to your unhappiness, you haven't watched what you eat and developed diabetes, (it could be hereditary tho) and people do one of two things when unhappy, they stop eating, or they over eat. If your parents control the type of food that is served at home and wont buy healthier stuff for you, then at least eat smaller amounts. You must see a Dr. for your diabetes. I would also have a heart to heart talk with your Dr. letting him know what is hurting your emotionally, the abuse and ask him to point you in the right direction for help. Seeing a counselor doesnt mean you have mental illness, it can also be the best thing to help a person who is the victim of emotional and verbal abuse. Its a hole you can't dig yourself out of easily on your own. I needed counseling too after finally leaving my abusive husband. Its not something to be ashamed of or to ask any stranger for help. If you are indeed under age and keep complaining to the right people, eventually your parents may be questioned and found to need counseling themselves for their own issues which is a good thing.

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Im 20 and a female, i will be using letters (v) and (k) for the guys

this guy (v) i been talking to is all that i could ask for he's the man of my dreams i could say but we haven't gotten to love, but i like him a lot.

the story twist around now

i was talking to this other guy (k) before (v), and (k) was a cool man but he started to get super crazy controlling and assumed i was having sex with other people, the crazy thing about that is, me and (k) haven't had sex haven't kissed let alone we haven't even said we were together like boyfriend girlfriend.

me being 20 i gave him a chance

so i meet (v) around the time where i told (k) we can no longer talk but (k) is now extremely cray like saying he's going to shot up my house and spit on me if he see me on the streets..

so I'm no with (v)
and (k) describes what I'm wearing and what i did during the day he even knew when my cousin got suspended from school… this is so crazy he won't leave me alone he sends me text saying he loves me then say he hope i die and i got sick of it one day i got my gun and told him to grant his threat n come shoot up my house i was waiting he called back said he was playing… so it died down he say he loves me and wyd babe i don't reply but I'm still kinda scared to let this slip away


i told (v)
like any man would do he said if he sees him he's go beat his a@&

but i want to know should i wait or do something quick

Hon, even if its died down for now, a guy like this is a ticking time bomb and will at some point go off again, even over more imagined things.
It is very important to have a paper trail when it comes to the police. this sounds like he is stalking you when in cyber, in person or a combo of both and that is not Okay by the law. The police need to know you are filing a report to create a paper trail because you are afraid and he has threatened you. Lets say he does do something to you, and you go to police. they have no record of a previous threat so his attack is looked at as possibly a one time thing, no previous issues, maybe just the emotion of the moment. However, if their records show you complained of his threats and attempting controlling you by them, then he has previous intent to do so and that changes everything. He won't be allowed to walk away as easy.

So your parents need to know and so do the police.
I hope you can see that his is destructive behavior. It is NOT normal when one person tries to control another. In his case, it likely can stem from having a low male self esteem or self image, meaning he'll always in life think some other imagined or real guy is better than him so he has to eliminate them as far as the girl he is obsessed with. Obsessed, not in love. For love is not controlling. He may have had or has a violent upbringing and that warps him as well. He needs help and counseling from professionals. Threats should be taken seriously. His mental state may not be stable and you don't know at what point he mentally snaps and his threats then become reality. An obsession like his may never go away on its own. Will you let him dictate who you date and maybe eventually marry and have kids with just because he's a loose cannon out there? I know you are an adult dear and you're doing the right thing in looking for advice, but in this case, you might want your parents to know as they may have some good ideas on who to also talk to for help, legally, as to what you can do. Do not ignore this, it won't go away and over time always gets worse, especially if he's got the issues I suspect he has.

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I turn on my iPhone then it keeps turning off. It sometimes takes a minute and sometimes it stays on for an hour or more. Yes, it is fully charged, and no I haven't put on any new apps lately.

Can anyone help me?

Thank you!

I had this happen with an older flip phone once. I didn't know there was a problem at first til others said they called me right back but my phone was turned off yesterday. So I took it in to the dealer and they discovered it did indeed have that issue. It wasn't fixable. Phone had to be replaced. Everything with technology can have bad parts that eventually cause issues and need to be replaced. I am sure those same issues can occur with the current Iphones, so call your dealer.

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hi, im 19 years of age and im doing my 1st year.im in a long distance relationship.im truly, crazy, deeply inlove with my bf and I care a lot about him.we haven't spent time together but next week on weekend im going to spend time wth him 4 the 1st time.he stays at pretoria becoz of school and im stay in venda bt next week im goin to pretoria. wheneva I call him n we talk I feel loved n happy.evn if wen I was said wen I was calling him my sadness goes away.but im tbe one who call him bt he never calls.we have 2 weeks dating.we just chat on whatsapp bt not all the time.we chat nicely bt smtyms he will read my last text n he will not reply :( .he can send me a good morning msg on watsap or Im de 1 who can 1st send n we will not talk again until I say gudnyt to him.weneva he say to me dat he s not happy I eventually have de feeling of being unhappy too.i care about me.all I want is ur honestly advice to me but that will bring me close to him pls.

If its not that hard a thing to go visit him on a weekend, he must not be all that far away, not like across country or another country and leads me to believe you both knew each other and dated already before going off to college. If so, thats good as people who have already met and had an actual well established relationship before hand are more likely to stick with each other thru the hardships of such a long separation.

The fact for most who meet the first time only on the net, is that they really don't know certain things, things you can't experience thru computer screen, trust for one, whether you have chemistry with a person or not sexually. A person can have chemistry on the emotional level and love a person in that capacity but not make a good sexual match. The love of the emotional kind is what we call a 'friend'. or best friend and a life partner is both that, best friend, and lover.

At your age when looking to experience dating, it is too easy for either male or the female to be distracted by and go for the person who is live, right at hand who is just as nice and handsome or pretty. feeling a hug or kiss is much different than imagining it. I won't say he has found someone else just because he doesn't answer.
If you haven't known him all that long, this may be a part of his character, he may be the more quiet, reserved type of person with little to say and when you contact him, see's nothing in what you wrote that seems to need a return comment or reply from him.
I will say this. A male can juggle multiple priorities in life. I heard this from dating experts. If there is a special woman in his life and he has developed strong feelings for her, then she will be one of his top 3 if he cares that much, along with school and work or sports, family. the 3 he focuses most on show how important they are and other priorities, things he still cares about fall down to a level of lower importance. So if you were one of his top 3 priorities, he'd be interested enough to initiate the contact on some of the occasions. The fact that he doesn't means one of two things:

He's not interested or changed his mind, and the other, the fact he merely hasn't had a chance to really get to know you well enough in person to have developed deep feelings for you before you parted for college.
Watch that you don't send out vibes of feeling desperate to have a boyfriend and trying your hardest to hang on to one that YOU have decided should be your boyfriend...because that sort of vibe will make a guy scramble away faster than anything else.
Aside from the LDR situation, in general, if a guy can't recognize your qualities and personality and find them to his liking, its not that something is wrong with you, the two of you just dont have the right chemistry to be all that strongly attracted mutually. It sucks when one feels attracted and the other not, but thats life. It takes both having equal attraction and interest. Sometimes, a person is the wrong match for you. If you can learn to not take personally when a guy rejects you, and learn to know what your good character qualities are and why you'd make someone a good girlfriend, and know that you can attract the right guy for you with those, then you will have self confidence and that is way more sexy and attractive to males over a model type who is a bimbo inside. Not just saying, it's been proven. So in the end, no real tricks on how to keep him interested...just be yourself and if thats not good enough for him, then he's not interested and not good enough for you.

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