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Im in relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years now. Im 24 years old, kinda peak age for a person like me who wants to settle down. But my father dissaprove ny boyfriend. He thinks that i dont have better future with my boyfriend. It hurts me when he judge my boyfriend. My father is really strick, well at some point i understand him, he's away from us coz he's working abroad. He was just protecting us and he wants us to be in a better place. If he only knew that my boyfriend is a hardworking person, he buys me anything, treat me right, especially respect me.
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As children our parents raise us to get their approval and to do things to make them proud. The need to get approval is a protective system and the desire to make them proud is a motivational system parents breed into their children almost from birth. These are ties that bind are very hard to break when we become adults.
You are an adult and have been in the eyes of the law for the past 6 years. You do not need parental approval for choices you make. If your father is judging your boyfriend without ever meeting him he is being very wrong. It is wrong to judge someone you have not met.
As parents of an adult child are jobs switch from telling you to advising you. Once we have given you our advice we must sit back and be therefore you should you decide and go against our advice. Be there to help you recover should are thought become true. For at the end of the day you and you alone make the choices you wish to follow not your parents.
If you believe this is the man for you then my advice is to follow your heart. Tell you dad he you appreciate his advice but feel he is being judgmental of someone he has not taken the time to meet and get to know. If he had or would he would feel differently.
You of course use your own words. Though what I have written sounds about right from what you have told us. Again my advice is if your heart is telling you this is the right man for you then follow your heart.
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You said Dad works abroad, so he hasn't met the guy. No need to worry about any conclusions he jumps to until he actually has a chance to meet him face to face and observe the guy for himself and see how he treats you. Then if he isn't the only one who sees a red flag but others too, you may want to try to look for what ever things he sees that are not right. in 6 yrs time, I would think you should have been able to spot if this guy has some serious issues that would be harmful to you and the relationship. So don't get worked up about it ahead of time. Dad's male characteristic of being protecter is coming to the forefront, he can't help wanting to protect you and make sure you have a great guy. In this case, he may feel useless to you being unable to meet and observe the guy for himself and just gives his opinion without all the facts. No one is perfect but know Dad has likely reacted this way out of love for you and wanting the best for you. He is forgetting this his little girl has grown up and as an adult is able to make her own decisions now. If he still doesnt approve once the two men meet, its hard but its your life and you can't let Dad live his life through you, just follow your gut feeling and do the best you know for your own life. Good luck
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