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My Boyfriend bought condoms
Hi I'm Jay and I'm 15 and my boyfriend told me he bought condoms today, he's 16, and we haven't done anything more than make out and touching.And him buying condoms is kind of shock to me, I asked him why he bought them and he said just in case but we won't be doing anything anytime soon. He knows I'm still iffy on having sex and that I'm not sure If I want to do it yet. What does this mean. Is he planning on having sex with me? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
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Hi Jay. Okay so you're boyfriend bought condoms. I can't say if he's planning to have sex with you or anything but is he forcing you to do it with him? Is he in a hurry to do it with you? if he is, then there's a problem. the problem is, you guys shouldn't be in a hurry to have sex already not until you guys are married. if he really loves you, he'll respect you. and he shouldn't be dating you if the only thing he wants from you is sex. But if he's not pushing you and saying that you guys will only do that if you're ready well it's really up to you if you want to. but i suggest that you do what is the right thing. you know what's the right thing right? you see you should be saving you're virginity to that true guy that you'll marry someday. you should to him about it and explain that you're not ready yet as a teen. and you'll only do it with him if you guys are married. if he understand that, then it's good. but if he doesn't and still forces you to do it with him i don't think he's the right one for you honey. he should have respect too. it's very important. don't go waiting for the time you'll regret doing it with him when he hurts you. well im not saying that he is but we never know.. and please this is just my advice please dont think that he only wants the sex. just talked about it to him.. God bless you dear. and remember no matter what happens, you'll never regret the right things. :)
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First it is your decision when to have sex. At 15 and 16 years of age you are both still to young to be engaging in intercourse. Making out maybe mutual masturbation or even oral sex, though I do not suggest going that far as it is hard to stop at that point. Just make sure your boyfriend understand that you are not ready and you will let him know when you are. Until then your answer to having sex is no and he has to agree that no means no, not maybe.
The fact that he has bought condoms is a very mature act on his part. It means he respects you and does not want to get you pregnant. That he also wants to practice safe sex which to day is very important. It also says that he is ready and wants to take your sex life to the next level. Yes making out is the foreplay of a sex life. So make sure he understands you are not ready yet and that you will tell him when you are.
Understand one thing about boys. Their sex drives at this age are stronger than girls. Once they are ready for sex or want to have sex with a girl they will say and do most anything to get sex from her. One famous line that predates me and I'm old enough to be your grandfather is, "if you love me you will have sex with me."
You don't have sex to prove your love for someone." Sex is the result of loving someone. It may sound similar though their are big differences. If your boyfriend starts to harass or beg you to have sex with you and you have told him no. Remind him he is breaking the law. Sexual harassment is against the law.
For the moment I see his buying condoms as a matter of respect for you. I could change my mind on that if he starts to beg you or force you to have sex with him. If he does you should rethink if he loves you or just lusts for you. Teen age boys confuse the two.
Sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting partners. It should not be rushed or done in uncomfortable places. Most importantly you need to feel secure from intrusion and comfortable to get the most enjoyment especially for your first sexual encounter.
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Can see that your guy buying condoms would seem to be putting out a strong signal that he is thinking about having sex, and presumably with you? Sounds like you aren't making any actual provision or plan for the event just yet. That's fine. Has to be your decision. So, it's come as a bit of a surprise/shock to you finding that he's thinking about the practicalities right now. I'd put it out of your mind as much as possible. He's bought some condoms. Just in case....for as/or/when required, say? That's actually a very good idea in many ways. Shows he's being mature enough to understand just how essential it is to take precautions and acting accordingly. I mean, in the real world not every couple (espeially young couples) actually end up having their first encounter exactly when it's envisaged upfront and planned. He's got some...just in case. That's a whole load more sensible than finding things get a bit heated one day, neither of you has any but you take a chance and do it anyway mate. That is asking for trouble in a big way!!
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Hon, you have to ask him cus my guesses are as good as yours but may not match what was in his mind when he did it.
If you want just guesses, they won't help you any, but perhaps it doesn't mean anything more than he would like to have them on hand just in case the day comes, months from now when the two of you both decide to go forward with it and then doesnt want to have to put if off cus you dont have any So maybe he's just being thougtful.
Or, he may understand that girls worry about getting pregnant and simply announced the fact he has them in case that was your main reason for not feeling ready for sex. This would mean, he is just guessing also and not fully and openly discussing this topic with you. Keep in mind, I mean REAL talk, not half answers, or a bunch of shrugs and "I don't know's".
Or, as manu young males at this age, they can't wait to have their first sexual experience. Perhaps they believe thier friends have all had sex and he hasn't so he feels to look look less than a man to them, he wants to be able to claim the same, or perhaps no pressure other than his own hormones driving him to want to have sex and the purchase of condoms was his round a bout way of announcing to you he plans to keep pestering and pressuring you for sex, or just a way to let you know he's still thinking about it and hasn't forgotton.
You can put all your energy into second guessing why he bought them and why he bothered to annnounce it to you, and not be closer to an answer.
If you and he are not ready to talk frankly and openly about sex together, thats a sure sign neither of you is ready for doing it. My daughters all told me they'd decided it was best to wait until they graduated HS before they had sex and they did exactly that. So if you decide to wait until you are older, tell him so. If he can't accept that, and still brings up wanting to have sex with you, then hon, reality is, he's thinking more about himself, his needs, feelings and urges, than about you, how you feel, or about supporting your wishes. And one who will honor your wishes, is one who really has deep feelings for you.
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