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ok i really need help?
Im 20 and a female, i will be using letters (v) and (k) for the guys
this guy (v) i been talking to is all that i could ask for he's the man of my dreams i could say but we haven't gotten to love, but i like him a lot.
the story twist around now
i was talking to this other guy (k) before (v), and (k) was a cool man but he started to get super crazy controlling and assumed i was having sex with other people, the crazy thing about that is, me and (k) haven't had sex haven't kissed let alone we haven't even said we were together like boyfriend girlfriend.
me being 20 i gave him a chance
so i meet (v) around the time where i told (k) we can no longer talk but (k) is now extremely cray like saying he's going to shot up my house and spit on me if he see me on the streets..
so I'm no with (v)
and (k) describes what I'm wearing and what i did during the day he even knew when my cousin got suspended from school… this is so crazy he won't leave me alone he sends me text saying he loves me then say he hope i die and i got sick of it one day i got my gun and told him to grant his threat n come shoot up my house i was waiting he called back said he was playing… so it died down he say he loves me and wyd babe i don't reply but I'm still kinda scared to let this slip away
i told (v)
like any man would do he said if he sees him he's go beat his a@&;
but i want to know should i wait or do something quick
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Hon, even if its died down for now, a guy like this is a ticking time bomb and will at some point go off again, even over more imagined things.
It is very important to have a paper trail when it comes to the police. this sounds like he is stalking you when in cyber, in person or a combo of both and that is not Okay by the law. The police need to know you are filing a report to create a paper trail because you are afraid and he has threatened you. Lets say he does do something to you, and you go to police. they have no record of a previous threat so his attack is looked at as possibly a one time thing, no previous issues, maybe just the emotion of the moment. However, if their records show you complained of his threats and attempting controlling you by them, then he has previous intent to do so and that changes everything. He won't be allowed to walk away as easy.
So your parents need to know and so do the police.
I hope you can see that his is destructive behavior. It is NOT normal when one person tries to control another. In his case, it likely can stem from having a low male self esteem or self image, meaning he'll always in life think some other imagined or real guy is better than him so he has to eliminate them as far as the girl he is obsessed with. Obsessed, not in love. For love is not controlling. He may have had or has a violent upbringing and that warps him as well. He needs help and counseling from professionals. Threats should be taken seriously. His mental state may not be stable and you don't know at what point he mentally snaps and his threats then become reality. An obsession like his may never go away on its own. Will you let him dictate who you date and maybe eventually marry and have kids with just because he's a loose cannon out there? I know you are an adult dear and you're doing the right thing in looking for advice, but in this case, you might want your parents to know as they may have some good ideas on who to also talk to for help, legally, as to what you can do. Do not ignore this, it won't go away and over time always gets worse, especially if he's got the issues I suspect he has.
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Hey sweetie,
I would recommend going to an adult for help, immediately, regardless of whether that person is a family member or a public authority figure, like the police. If it's died down, I still think you should talk to someone close to you that is an adult and that can help you should K come looking for you again. If he does come looking for you or contacts you again, you'll have someone who is up to date with all the information needed and can offer you help immediately,
Other than that, if you think he won't mind or if you feel that it is appropriate, you could block his number so he won't bother you through messages and/or phone calls.
I hope I helped! :)
Love,
Ella
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The moment anything else happens, you call the police on a non-emergency line, and report what K is doing. He is stalking you, harassing you, and threatening your life.
If it's died down now, fine, but if he is still contacting you with his fake niceness, then it's not really done yet.
No fooling here hun. The next creepy thing he does, you call the cops. You keep calling them and reporting each new terrifying crazy thing K does until they take you seriously. You also tell your friends, family, school and co-workers a bit about what K is doing, so they know not to support his crazy or talk to him about you.
You keep yourself safe by refusing to be ashamed - you haven't done anything wrong! Keep yourself sane by placing ALL the blame exactly where it belongs: On K. There is no excuse at all for what he is doing, so don't let yourself make any excuses. Start treating this like what it is - criminal harassment.
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