Apparently you havn't read over my column too much or you would have asked someone else this question.

It's bad enough that you are too young to be getting naked with a guy, but it's just even more bad when you aren't even comfortable enough with the idea of him seeing you naked.

6 months may seem like a while now, but it's not. You should be with him way longer than 6 months before you start taking your clothes off in front of him. If you are terrified of what you are supposed to do with this guy, then what are you doing getting naked with him in the first place?

Boyfriends are suppose to make you feel more secure about yourself, and if you don't feel secure enough about this, then you are far from ready to go any further with him.

-TheTeenGirl

This seems a little bizarre of a situation, but if a confrontation didn't work then I don't see anything else working.

Sometimes you just have to let people keep doing something wrong until they hit rock bottom and realize that they've hurt so many people around them. But don't wait for him to hit rock bottom, move on with your life and don't wait for something that won't happen for a really long time.

I know it's shocking to be lied to from someone you really thought you could trust, but it happens. People who you think aren't the type that would do a certain thing, you find out that they really can turn into that type of person.

You're right when you say that you can't talk to him about any of this because you know that you'll be told more lies. As for being his friend or not, you don't have to go up to him and tell him the friendship is over, but don't trust him with any secrets or any of your personal items or any of that stuff. In other words, make him more a friend who you just talk to like aqaintances. I wouldn't recommend talking to his family because I think that it would just make things worsen with him and you as friends.

-TheTeenGirl

What you should do is not dance with another guy's girlfriend. Now, I understand that you both are only friends, but you wouldn't want your girlfriend dancing with another guy even if you knew for sure they were only friends.

And if you and her really want to prove to him that you both are only friends, don't obsess with trying to prove it. Act like friends, talk like friends, make sure you are actually acting like friends. Make sure she's getting time with her boyfriend alone and not spending every minute with you. Close friendships between males and females cause a lot of tension when it comes to having a boyfriend or girlfriend.

And maybe he's not catching the idea that you both are only friends because you mentioned that you both flirt with each other. He's probably noticing that between the two of you. Usually when males and females are friends, they eventually become something more and that's the obvious truth. I think you need to get this all resolved with this guy and tell him that you are sorry even though you don't feel very sorry. Just think of it this way, what if you were in his position? Would you want your girlfriend flirting with her friend and dancing with him? Of course not.

-TheTeenGirl

I strongly believe that your dream had nothing to do with what happened. So I wouldn't take all of that seriously even though it is a pretty weird experience.

When it comes to a guy breaking up with you, basically you have to let him come to you if he really does want you back at all. It's a pretty dangerous move to out your heart out there to the guy who broke it because it's bound to happen again.

I know it's hard to take all of this from the guy you've loved for a number of years, but you've got to stop with him for good now. You've both had your share of opportunities to be together again and he blew it. Sometimes you just have to pick up the pieces over and over again until you realize that you just need a new guy, and a new start. And I don't mean right now, take a while to just be around yourself more and then maybe when a different guy comes into the picture you can put your heart out again.

As for your depressed feelings, find a way to unleash them in a healthy way. A friend to talk to, a family member you can really relate to, or even if you feel like you can't relate to them, it's a way to start. For a long time, you've been thinking about this guy and the reality is that he hasn't been thinking of you as much, so maybe it's time to decide to put this all behind you and start over.

-TheTeenGirl

This is an issue that you have to bring up to these friends who pass around your secrets. Tell them that you can't trust them because you know that it gets around.

I think it is only fair that you let them know why you've stopped letting them know your secrets and that you really want to be able to confide in them to keep your secrets and not pass it around like a school rumor.

I think that you can still continue a friendship with these people and try finding one friend that you can truly confide in while having fun with the others. Your friends will probably deny that they told anyone, but tell them that you know for a fact that it's gotten around and that you aren't taking your chances anymore the next time they get upset.

-TheTeenGirl

Don't use the excuse of your parents not thinking you have a problem to not go see a doctor or go into therapy.

If your parents don't know you are having an anger problem, tell them. You really do have some issues to work through if you are self-destructing and your parents will have to know eventually.

I would give you some skills to deal with your anger, but it's more than that if you are at the point of bleeding. Just sit down with your parents, and let them know that you have a huge problem with dealing with anger.

-TheTeenGirl

I know it really hurts to see your mom going through all of this with your dad but the truth is that you really have no say in what your mom does about these things.

If your mom decides that it's ok to let your dad talk rudely to her, then that is her decision. If she wants to make excuses for him by telling you how he was hated in his childhood, then she'll have to keep going until her excuse gets too old even for her. Believe it or not, your mom absolutely does have a say whether or not she wants to stay married with him and take his verbal abuse. This isn't a woman issue, it's your mom's issue.

Sure, he can call her worthless, but she can decide whether she's going to let him get away with it or not. And she's choosing to let him step all over her and get away with it.

You said that your mom is starting to react differently to your dad's verbal abuse and that's a good sign for you. She's finally starting to do something else about it and she will have to learn that he is not going to change one day. There is no doubt in my mind that you are bothered by what your mom is taking from your dad and I know it has to be hard to cope with. But, you have to worry about yourself too when it comes down to how you've been reacting to all of this.

In other words, if you were in your mom's shoes, you would want to know if your daughter was crying and disturbed by something that's going on. So I think you should talk to your mom about your concern with her and try getting some therapy or something from her. Try getting her out of the house more and make some fun plans with her so that you both can smile together and let her tell you that she's ok. You have to worry about yourself more than what's going on between your parents. Your mom has went through this with your dad a lot of times like you mentioned, so I think that she's used to the way he's putting her down. The way I see it, she's getting tired of being put down, so she's just reacting as if she's annoyed.

All you can do is see what happens and don't get mad at your dad just because of what happens between him and your mom. I fully understand that you hate the fact that he's called her so many names, but your his daughter and he loves you. A lot of parents make the mistake of fighting and calling names in front of their kids and that is the mistake your parents have made. A lot of parents call each other names, and if you hold that against them, it makes it look as if you are taking sides. You don't know what goes on between your parents and what they are really fighting about. So please don't side with a parent and ruin your relationship with your dad.

Being a bad husband doesn't exactly mean being a bad dad. Parents get divorces and they still see their kids because they love them so much and it happens because things don't work out sometimes.

-TheTeenGirl

I know that little siblings can be plain annoying, but you have to deal with it somehow.

For one thing, you don't hate your little brother. I know you could argue that point with me forever, but he's 10 and you are 14 an that's a pretty big age difference. When you are 10, you think just about every little thing is funny, and then when something dramatic happens, it's a big disappointment to them.

Being a 14 year old female is different. While you are into cell phones and boys, he's into Batman and G rated movies. That is why you both don't get along. Maybe your little brother wants attention from you because you are his older sister and he can't really find it from someone else so he picks on you. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for these situations like these:

-Try putting on your make-up in your room. You'll save the fighting that happens with him throwing a fit and kicking you out of the bathroom. If you cannot do this, try putting on make-up earlier or tell your mom or dad that you need more time in the bathroom to apply make-up. Don't say this in a whining voice, just be mature and tell them this.

-Explain to your parents maturely that you'd like some private time on the computer. When your brother comes around to check out what you are doing, pull up some boring website and pretend you are reading it to make him get bored and leave. He'll eventually get sick of that.

-When he acts silly in front of your friends- just let him. I know it seems like the most humiliating thing ever, but it's really not. If you want alone time with your friends, go in your room or go outside somewhere to hang out.

-Just because he prentends to have a crush on you, it doesn't make him a pervert or anything. He's only doing his job as a brother-grossing you out in any way possible. Just ignore him or leave the room.

-When he threatens to punch you in the boobs again, let your parents know this and tell them that it really bothers you.

I know you've said that you told your parents about this, but I think the way you confront them is making you look like an immature child. Let them know that you need a little more privacy and you'd apreciate it if they'd make him give you some space. Do this when they aren't too busy and act like an adult in this confrontation. I know that your brother is annoying, but I really think he's lonely that he doesn't have anyone to play with, so maybe you should take some time to see a movie with him or at least talk to him sometimes. I know you feel really angry at him, but he's a young immature child, and that what makes him 10 years old.

-TheTeenGirl

I wouldn't recommend shaving your arms because that's not a very feminine thing to do either.

However, if you feel that it is really that noticable than maybe you should. I'm not sure how hairy and noticable your arms are, but if it's bothering you than you should.

But I only think it should be done if it will make you as a person feel better. If you do like the hair on your arms, then I say you shouldn't because it all comes down to what you want on your body and not what someone else wants.

Honestly, I think that you might be overreacting and that you should just see what happens for a while. Thank you for asking and if you have any questions about shaving, then please ask and make sure you tell me the original question you asked so I won't confuse you.

-TheTeenGirl

Jealousy is just about one of the worst feelings ever and once you both are broken up, you really have no say in whether he makes a move with another girl or not.

When you start to feel overwhelmed with these feelings, try to think about the fact that it wouldn't have worked out between the two of you. Besides, you are the one who ended the relationship, so keep thinking about why it's called off and it will probably get you feeling a little better.

I know you feel angry just thinking about the fact that he's moved on, but maybe you should be a little thankful that he's not taking this break-up so badly. He could be really upset, but it doesn't matter how he's taking it because he will eventually move on, so maybe it's better for it to happen now than later. I would just hope that your best friend isn't his rebound.

You have to find a way to unleash this anger and jealousy. Write it down, convert it into poetry, talk to a friend or family member, stay over at a friend's house that weekend and try taking your mind off of it. Try watching TV when you start feeling upset, even if your favorite TV show isn't on, find something to watch and get a snack you like. Rent a movie you've never seen and watch it with someone or watch something you havn't watched in a long time. Find something you really like to do to get your mind off of it and see which method works the best. But no extreme methods like self-destructing, alcohol or drugs, or eating disorders.

Also, maybe you should ask your friends to not tell you if your ex-boyfriend was flirting with anyone. I think you'll feel a lot better not knowing what he's up to rather than getting details and feeling jealous. Remember that he wouldn't go flirting with other girls if he were with you, so maybe he's just trying his best to move on from this.

-TheTeenGirl

I can't tell you how much it hurts to hear that you've went through a lot of bad in your life and you didn't deserve it at all.

You have really negative views on about yourself that's effecting a lot of how you are living. You won't consider cheerleading because you can't do a cartwheel, you won't consider running because you don't believe that you have what it takes. I don't think that you should decide not to try out for cheerleading just because you can't do a cartwheel. It may not be an easy task, but you can definetly find it in yourself to learn it from someone.

The reason you should take up a sport you really like is because you can make some really great friends and when you honestly need to escape your home life, your friends are right there for you. Don't shut out every option just because you believe that you aren't capable of doing it. You are capable of doing anything that you want to do. If you absolutely love cheerleading, then you can have what it takes to be one. When you love a sport, you dedicate your heart into it and that's how you get good at it. You put everything you've got in you into it.

Another great thing about having friends is being able to confide in them with secrets, or things that you really need to let out. But you need more than just a friend to talk to, after someone in your life dies, you really need to get into some serious therapy so that you can deal with this. I'm not talking about just a school counselor, you really need to ask your dad or someone you know to get you into therapy to deal with everything that you are dealing with everyday.

Stop worrying about your weight for just a while and try to get into therapy and cheerleading or some other hobby that you really love so that you can gain some confidence within yourself. If you are unable to get into a sport right now, then go for the therapy and start a plan for your life instead of feeling this way all of the time. I want you to read your question over and look at how much you are thinking down on yourself because of these life experiences. I know that you've said you don't want to be in counseling and you can't do a sport, but there is no other option for these situations. The key to getting better is surrounding yourself with friends, and getting outside and breathing the fresh air for a while.

You will never be able to keep yourself inside and not do anything to get better. You need to fill yourself with high self-esteem because that is the root to 90 percent of your problems. I really hope that you consider cheerleading and therapy or just one of them to get better and start fresh. I wish you all of the best. And if you need more personal advice concerning this situation, go ahead and contact me through my inbox.

-TheTeenGirl

If you and your friend are having problems, maybe you should try sorting them out first and seeing how your friend feels about you dating her ex.

I know that you wouldn't have to listen to her if she didn't want you to be with him, but it's common sense to respect your friend's wishes when they are still into their ex. So you should be asking your friend about that. Try confronting the issues that you are having with her and see if you can get to common ground on the matter.

-TheTeenGirl

[EDIT: Hey, I'm honestly glad to help. I'm pretty sure that your thoughts aren't intentional.]







Well, it is good to know that you havn't made any comments to these girls, but this definetly has to be stopped.

Listen, all of these girls around you can't be as skinny, or talented as the other girls around them. God gives us certain talents, personalities, and looks that we have today. And what you've got to understand is that it's more than just what a person looks like. When someone is rude, they choose that attitude within themselves. They can change that rudeness to kindness. But with looks, that can't be changed.

I know you are aware of this, but you should think on it more. If you were a little overweight, you'd still want to wear a bikini and have a boyfriend and wear pretty clothes like skinny girls do. They don't wear a bikini to make you want to throw up or look the other way, they are girls just like you. They have the same desires as you. But something that we girls have in common is that we aren't perfect. There is always something about our bodies we don't like.

And when you think about how much you want these girls to lose weight, don't think that they aren't thinking the same thing. They want to lose weight too. But you don't even know how complicated it is to lose weight. It's something that you have to put your heart and soul into and it takes some work. My point is that you can only change your appearance so much, but you can completely redesign your thinking and the way you act toward other people. Being beautiful isn't exactly having the looks, it's the way you carry yourself and your thoughts and that will define you as a person. Do you ever notice how some girls that are pretty are bitchy? Sure, maybe the guys want those girls now, but when it comes down to the way you treat that guy, it will tell a lot about you.

So the next time you see those friends of yours that don't fit your standards of pants size, remember your imperfections and why you like that friend as a person. You didn't meet those friends by walking up to them and saying, "Hey girl, you look good in those pants, wanna hang?" You liked them because of the kind of person they are and the way they treat you as a friend.
I know you are having a hard time taking the advice you've gotten, but it's really hurtful when you can't seem to accept people that aren't in your pant size range. So I hope this helped you see a little better.

-TheTeenGirl

You need more help than you think. You jump into making out with guys way quicker than you should be. If you were honestly taking your time to get to know these guys, then they wouldn't disrespect you and you can actually trust them.

You are letting these guys get what they want from you and then they run off to get it somewhere else and it gets you upset. You need to slow down with guys and actually talk to them and get to know them before you start kissing them. That way when you see that a certain guy acts flirty around other girls and it's not just you, you'll know that he is not the type of guy you want to start anything serious with. It takes more to a good relationship than just knowing that you both like each other a lot.

Now I see that you never mentioned that you wanted a relationship, but if you are the kind of girl who makes out with a guy after you hardly know him, then don't expect him not to do it with other girls because you did it too. If you don't want to be mistreated, then don't give yourself away so quickly because if they are that kind of guy, they will take advantage of you and do it with other girls.

What you should do is just call everything off with this guy. Especially now since you know for sure that he's been fooling around with other girls. Do yourself a favor and make a uy respect you first.

-TheTeenGirl

The truth of the matter is that you and this guy aren't really close of friends anymore and that's the way it should be. People who do drugs end up getting addicted and start to make it become their whole lives. They spend their time figuring out how they are going to get more the next day and the people around them no longer matter.

So my advice to you is to let him be with his problems. If he's decided to start doing drugs again, then that's his decision and he will have to pay the consequences later on. Don't stick around to try figuring out what he's on and how you plan on being his friend at the same time. I know you and this guy were really close, but when drugs get thrown into the mix, it just doesn't seem to come together anymore. He's hanging out with the same guy who influenced him into drugs, so I really wouldn't take my chances with him even if you heard or he said he wasn't using drugs anymore. He is the one deciding to let this friendship fall apart, remember that.

-TheTeenGirl

What you need to do is explain to each other what you think of sex before or after marriage or when you think that sex should be shared. Now, with him being a guy, he will of course think that it could be shared before marriage and he'll want it that way. But, if you would explain to him when you think it should happen, he will understand that when you are making out heavily, sex isn't going to happen.

Now, my suggestion would be to not make out so heavily that it gets you in the mood. Don't lay down making out on the bed so that it doesn't give you both ideas to go any further.

But the key to a healthy relationship is to communicate your feelings toward sex, love and your views and morals on life. Keep yourselves open to decisions and different topics that you both believe are important. What makes you closer is to talk about things that really matter. And you may think that you've talked about everything, but if you aren't able to stop the making ou and letting him know that you don't want to go any further, then maybe there is some ground you havn't quite covered.

As for your self-control, you have to start thinking and living for the future, not the moment. Meaning that just because you really want sex in the moment you are making out, you have to think about how it will make you think and live in the future. So when you start to feel really in the mood of wanting more, just stop and tell him it's getting carried away for you. You both have plenty of time to have sex later on if you continue the relationship. Remember that sex really can wait. It's not a need for anyone. It won't kill him if he doesn't have sex with you. So don't feel pressured to do something you aren't ready to do just because you made him think it would happen

-TheTeenGirl

I am not a huge believer in the whole 'opposites attract' thing, but you are too different from this guy to start a relationship with.

Your opposites are extreme. While you like to watch TV or cuddle or go to the movies on the weekends, he'll want to be out partying and drinking and interacting with strangers.

I'm not saying that opposites don't attract, but you can't apply that quotation to this situation. It's too extreme to me and you'll never be able to find a whole lot of trust within this guy because who knows what he'll do one day when he's drunk. He could end up cheating on you, or doing something really stupid like driving drunk. My advice to you is to honestly find someone more like you. It's possible to have feelings for someone who is completly different from you, but it will all eventually fall apart later when your interests matter.


-TheTeenGirl

If I were you, I'd prefer finding a new boyfriend that goes to your school and not another school where he can flirt with other girls.

I know that you don't know for sure if he really is flirting with other girls, but that really makes my point stand out. How do you know what he's doing at his school with other girls? You don't want to keep hearing from your friends more stories that he's flirting while you are with him. It will just make you upset or even crazy for that matter because he isn't going to admit to anything that you might not accept.

Getting out of a long relationship is a tough thing to do. But don't be in such a rush to find a new boyfriend just because you feel lonely. Give yourself some room to think before you try another relationship.

-TheTeenGirl

The only thing you can do is let him be happy with the girlfriend he already has and wait for something to possibly happen.

I know you may think that this guy is different, but there are many other guys who are different too. So maybe you should keep looking or wait for love to come to you.

-TheTeenGirl

No, you are not gay, and yes this is normal because you were raised differently than other teenage boys. I think you get a little freaked or grossed out when you see a woman's body part because you aren't used to seeing that and you've never talked about it or even done anything sexual.

I really think that this girlfriend of yours isn't good enough for you. She has already experienced sex and I guess she wants sex in the relationship and just because you don't that makes you gay to her. Which isn't true. And if she's going to call you names and insult the way you were brought up, then you should rethink this girl.

Most 16 year old boys are already thinking about sex and wanting sex, but it's probably different for you. But yes, I think you are perfectly normal that you don't have a sexual drive just yet, but it will definetly happen.

-TheTeenGirl

My name is Erin and I am now 18 years old. You may realize through out looking at my column, some of you love me and some of you flat out hate me. There's really no gray area with me I guess you can say.

I haven't given advice here in so long and it's only because I got caught up in life. But I'm more mature than I ever thought I could be.
So anyway I'm here again. It's been a long time, but I still love giving advice and still plan on it in the future.

Everyone should feel free to Private Message me for advice, I can be harsh, but I'm always trying to help someone by giving them the truth they need.

About My Ratings:
I enjoy ratings. And if I ask a question on here, I always rate the person. If you work hard to give advice, you deserve to be rated.

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