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I have a few issues with other girls' weight..
Okay so I'm pretty thin; 5'4 and 110 lbs. I really don't like fat, at all on girls. I think girls should be thin and wear a pants size no bigger than a 3 or 5. Five is pushing it.
All my friends are thin and have nice figures as well, like me but I have a few that don't. I mean, they aren't huge but they wear like a 5 in Abercrombie pants. And those of you that shop there know that their sizes run bigger. When I see them in like a bikini (we're always at my house laying out and stuff) I want to throw up.
I don't know why I feel this way and I feel extremely bad sometimes because in my head, I want them to loose weight.
Now, I assure you that I have never said anything along those lines to them and I NEVEERR would, ever. I know I have some sort of problem with weight so I know better than so say something to them.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get over this?
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Wow! My names Kelley I'm 17 5"4ish and weigh 99-100 lbs...now my question for you is why do you care about peoples weights? That's very judgemental!!!
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Hi
I'm sorry to be brutally honest here, but I think you are being VERY shallow.
Why do you care what other people look like? As long as you take care of yourself, then that's all that should matter.
Are bigger people not "good enough" to be friends with someone as perfect as you?
I used to be really heavy, and it was people like you that made my school career hell...and even out of school.
First of all...fat people don't like being fat, and if you did ANY research on obesity at all you would see that there are genetic factors that pre-dispose people to different weights.
I'm not saying that some people don't "help" their situation along by making the wrong choices, but it's not completely their fault.
There is so much more that I could say on the issue, but I don't think you really care enough to take it to heart.
People come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Maybe eventually your friends will realize how truly shallow you are, and then you'll be sitting there with your thin body all by yourself.
It's time to grow up!! The only way to GET OVER IT, is to realize that no one is perfect (not even you). Some people have big butts, others have small brains.
Brenda
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Well as far as something being wrong with you, no most likely it is not serious, and the fact that you don't say anything is good. We can't always control our thoughts, but we can control our mouths. So I think your doing good in that department.
Magazines and TV give most of us the idea that people should fit a certain profile--and have the perfect body. What this does is set up our thinking to find the perfect body more appealing. So really, I believe it is nothing you have done wrong, it's just our culture!
The more you observe the body style and shape of others, the more you will become accustomed to them.
After 20 some years in nursing, to me a body is just a body, it's how the person behaves and their personality that counts, as I am sure you know that already, but you are wondering why you think the way you do.
Well I am here to tell you, there's nothing wrong with "thinking" in fact it may just be that you are more observant than others.
It's okay to pay attention to the different shapes of people..who has a tummy bulge, who has pear shaped hips..and so on. Instead of wanting them to lose weight, picture them in different clothes that would suit their body style better. The more you do this the more you will come to accept the range of bodies out there and be less repulsed. Perhaps you can even develop the skills to become a fashion designer someday. So instead of thinking that something is wrong with you..and I doubt that you need therapy or counseling, turn your form of thinking into something constructive. That's probably the key to your contentment with your friends right now.
Best of luck...and most of all don't worry..you will be fine.(((smiles)))
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Alright, well sometimes I wonder how some girls could be so large, but you have to remember that some of these girls could have low metabolisms or medical conditions so it's not like their fault. You should like try putting yourself in other person's shoes. It's basically not your life to control, so you have to accept that, that it's out of your of your control, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with people who are overweight. I highly doubt size 6's are overweight. if you want to see real overweight kids, come to my highschool.
xo Regina
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You have to ask yourself why it bothers you so much that other girls aren't as thin.
Most women, in fact the majority of women, aren't meant to be a size 5. I am 5'8 and almost 1/2 and to be healthy, I could not be anything smaller than a six. I can wear a size 8/6 and have a flat stomach and look good in a two piece. I have wide hips and even two days after my death, I wouldn't be able to fit into a size five.
Every body is different. It isn't doing anything to you, if your friends are a size 5 or larger. Do you think it reflects badly on you? That having friends that have some fat on their bodies (as women NEED to have in order to support a fetus when pregnant)makes you look bad? They are not you and you are not fat, so I am wondering what the underlying cause is for you to feel so strongly about this. Once you figure out the underlying cause, you can work on changing it.
Do you hate it to make yourself feel better? I know that some of the time, people can pick out flaw (perceived or not) and find huge fault in it to boost themselves up by not having that particular flaw.
Do you hate fat so much so that you will never gain weight? Is it that you never want to be that way, so you see the most smallest amount of it and are repulsed by it?
I am not saying you are doing any of this, I am just exploring here. I will assume you are female since you said that your friends come over and lay out.
You are gonna have to find a way to get over yourself. People won't live by your standards, and you will drive yourself nuts and drive your friends away eventually hating on the littlest bit of fat. Even if you never utter a word to your friends, body language and attitude still show. Eventually one of them is going to pick up on something, you hate weight pretty strongly.
You just have to find a way to figure out what is really behind your hate of fat.
If nothing I have asked you rings a bell, you might have to realize that you are just shallow. But, at least you know it, and you aren't being hateful with it. Everybody is shallow about something, maybe yours is weight.
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Okay if these are your friends you shoud'nt care about whats on the outside it's what in the inside becaue I know you are a way better person then this if you want to get over it and make your friendship last longer you have to try to help them instead of trying to please yourself .If they are happy with themselves you should be to , because if you go on like this how do you expect to make it through life.Eveywhere you go there's always gonna be some one of a different shape or size so just don't spend the rest of your life worrying about the outside worry about the inside that's what make them and you a better person and it would actually make your friendship closer.
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Well, at least you -want- to get over it. Be glad for that. This means you can still be saved. Most people who feel this was about thinness think their shallow views are perfectly fine.
There isn't really any way to definitely get over it. Perhaps you should try talking to people you are friends with who aren't obsessed with weight. There are many people who do not feel the need to conform to society's standards of the ideal person.
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[EDIT: Hey, I'm honestly glad to help. I'm pretty sure that your thoughts aren't intentional.]
Well, it is good to know that you havn't made any comments to these girls, but this definetly has to be stopped.
Listen, all of these girls around you can't be as skinny, or talented as the other girls around them. God gives us certain talents, personalities, and looks that we have today. And what you've got to understand is that it's more than just what a person looks like. When someone is rude, they choose that attitude within themselves. They can change that rudeness to kindness. But with looks, that can't be changed.
I know you are aware of this, but you should think on it more. If you were a little overweight, you'd still want to wear a bikini and have a boyfriend and wear pretty clothes like skinny girls do. They don't wear a bikini to make you want to throw up or look the other way, they are girls just like you. They have the same desires as you. But something that we girls have in common is that we aren't perfect. There is always something about our bodies we don't like.
And when you think about how much you want these girls to lose weight, don't think that they aren't thinking the same thing. They want to lose weight too. But you don't even know how complicated it is to lose weight. It's something that you have to put your heart and soul into and it takes some work. My point is that you can only change your appearance so much, but you can completely redesign your thinking and the way you act toward other people. Being beautiful isn't exactly having the looks, it's the way you carry yourself and your thoughts and that will define you as a person. Do you ever notice how some girls that are pretty are bitchy? Sure, maybe the guys want those girls now, but when it comes down to the way you treat that guy, it will tell a lot about you.
So the next time you see those friends of yours that don't fit your standards of pants size, remember your imperfections and why you like that friend as a person. You didn't meet those friends by walking up to them and saying, "Hey girl, you look good in those pants, wanna hang?" You liked them because of the kind of person they are and the way they treat you as a friend.
I know you are having a hard time taking the advice you've gotten, but it's really hurtful when you can't seem to accept people that aren't in your pant size range. So I hope this helped you see a little better.
-TheTeenGirl
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(Sorry, a bit long-winded.)
Your line of thinking doesn't sound intentional, and it sounds like you're aware that you have a preoccupation with weight -- I would just put this down to the way you feel. 'Duh', you might say at first, but what I'm getting at here is how you feel isn't necessarily 'unusual', but neither is it 'natural' (I use these terms loosely here).
A lot of girls in Western society have been brought up on the idea, unintentionally or not, that being thin is attractive, and being fat is ugly -- the trend has become 'naturalised' in society. Obviously the trend is changing now (i.e. 'big is beautiful'), and it's a bit of a generalisation, but I don't think it can be denied, all the same. What I'm suggesting here is that being thin = attractive seems natural to you, and Western culture was for a long time pushing this idea also -- thin models are still the most popular, and if you look at Abercrombie's website, [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) the figures there are all slender, active individuals with sculptured bodies. If you see anybody who seems overweight to you, it makes you go 'eek!', because it goes against what feels 'natural'.
However, the thing is thin = attractive wasn't always the case. Half a century ago, it was sexy to have a voluptuous hourglass figure. In some cultures, it's still the plump women who are the attractive ones.
Okay, so before I get too pretentious and overanalytical ;), to get over this... come to peace with it, and be open-minded. That's all really, yet it might be hard to do. If there's a voice in your head telling you 'they're too FAT!', question it - 'hang on... if there's nothing wrong with their health, what's wrong with being 'fat'?' What is 'fat'? How does your understanding of 'fat' compare to others? Why don't you like it? If you can answer those questions, you might be able to find peace within yourself, at least.
(Also, this is a more academic exercise, but there are the most fascinating accounts of how standards of beauty differed throughout the ages -- best way to develop new outlooks in my opinion, and will probably change what you think is 'natural'. Did you know that women in Tang China were most beautiful when plump? English Renaissance women would deliberately blacken their teeth to show they could afford teeth-rotting sugar? Sounds bizarre, but it used to be 'natural'. Women in some South Pacific cultures were plump to be pretty as it showed that they were wealthy, etc. I love accounts like that -- [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) is a bit heavy going, but eye-opening reading.)
Good luck, hey? =)
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Wow ok so I agree with I_like_duckies on this. I don't know what has possesed you to think like this, myself being a size 16 probably repulses you to no~end but guess what? I could give 2 shits wether you like it or not. My husband tells me all the time how beatiful I am. You know....There are men out there that dont even like super skinny girls! Acutually, there re-pulsed by them because they lack the most important feature of being a woman....CURVES. There are many girls that have anorexia and are bulimic because people like you put it in there head that there not beatiful unless they are a size 3. Start watching more commercials. Especially the DOVE one's. CAMPAIGN FOR REAL BEAUTY. REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES. That's there motto, and you know what? It's mine too.
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oh sorry!! but i hope you dont mind me asking but are you a guy or a girl.....that would help a lot
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I think that its okay that you want them to lose weight.But if its for health reasons not just because theyre fat because being too skiny isnt that healthy either.
im sorry if i missunderstood but obiously your aware that you have a problem and i think that your stuck in a world where you only see the outside and you need to get out of there as fast as you possibly can. because not everybody is perfect and neither are you even if your skinny. some people are born overweight
im not fat but real people have curves and embrace them and so should you most of my family is not 'skinny' and they are diabetics but i never tell them that theyre fat i just always make sure that theyre healthy
Iknow this site might not always answer your question directly but if you really want help try seeing a proffesional and get some because i dont think that i should be the person to be telling you what to do seek some 1 with more experience
if you still fell this way tell me and i'll help you in anyway i can Thanx anyway!
7ROK7ANGEL7
A.K.A.ZEN*PSHYCO
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How about you stop throwing up, take your head out of the toilet and look at everyone around you. Not everyone can be anorexic. Some people wear bigger clothes because their body frame is larger, not because they are fat, so maybe if you could look past whats on the outside and stop being so stuck up you would see that not everyone is a freaking stick! If you don't like my advice oh well good. I hope you don't because it's people like you that make size 7-13 people so self concious about themselves. I am a size 13, and I have had people like you telling me that I should kill myself for looking that so maybe if you think about it before you sit and say that everyone should be a size 3 or 5 with a 5 pushing it your problem would go away. Because who cares if they wear a 5 in Abercrombie, who cares! People can look like what they want to and shouldn't have to worry about people like you saying things like what you just said. And I really hope some other people leave comments like this one because I feel that you are completely in the wrong right now. Seek psycological help and then tell us how much better you have gotten. K? Thanks.
Nikki
P.S.-
Another girls weight isn't any of your business! Please leave me a nice little bit of information on how you feel about my advice. :)
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