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need to keep self-control
The guy I'm dating and me get really in the mood. We haven't done anything under the clothes though. I'm a virgin and I want to keep it that way, but when we get hot & heavy just making out, it's very difficult to have self control. I just don't know what to do, because it's still so early in our relationship to move to the next step. I like the way things are, but I'm afraid he's going to get mad that I lead him on & then back away when things get serious. (17/f)
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tell him the way you feel and that u want to stay a virgin and if he leaves you because of that well then he probably only wants you for sex and then would dump you after he gets what he wants so set limits
hope i helped!
~*~mary~*~
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Hello honey , okay first don't do anything you don't want to do second you need to set boundaries if you guys are making out just tell him no touching just hugging and kissing that's it and you are not leading him on so don't even think that way and if he can't except the fact that your just not ready to do it and he keep gettin you hot and botherd he's not the one make sure you loose your varginity to someone you love because i did but then my life totally got shut down after i got raped so you just do what you feel inside your heart and trust your instincts if you think he's the right guy then you go ahead and do it but make sure your mind is made up don't let peer pressure get you down do what's right just make sure that's what you wanna do
Your's truley Bella
ps do what's right for you not him.
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What you need to do is explain to each other what you think of sex before or after marriage or when you think that sex should be shared. Now, with him being a guy, he will of course think that it could be shared before marriage and he'll want it that way. But, if you would explain to him when you think it should happen, he will understand that when you are making out heavily, sex isn't going to happen.
Now, my suggestion would be to not make out so heavily that it gets you in the mood. Don't lay down making out on the bed so that it doesn't give you both ideas to go any further.
But the key to a healthy relationship is to communicate your feelings toward sex, love and your views and morals on life. Keep yourselves open to decisions and different topics that you both believe are important. What makes you closer is to talk about things that really matter. And you may think that you've talked about everything, but if you aren't able to stop the making ou and letting him know that you don't want to go any further, then maybe there is some ground you havn't quite covered.
As for your self-control, you have to start thinking and living for the future, not the moment. Meaning that just because you really want sex in the moment you are making out, you have to think about how it will make you think and live in the future. So when you start to feel really in the mood of wanting more, just stop and tell him it's getting carried away for you. You both have plenty of time to have sex later on if you continue the relationship. Remember that sex really can wait. It's not a need for anyone. It won't kill him if he doesn't have sex with you. So don't feel pressured to do something you aren't ready to do just because you made him think it would happen
-TheTeenGirl
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As said before you shouldn't lead him on. If he respects you and your decisions it shouldn't be a problem. Explain them to him first, before you two really get involved so no one gets hurt emotionally as well.
Many people feel pressured to do the bidding and wishes of others. This is a nice character trait to have - it means you feel responsible to others and want to please.
However the impact on yourself can be that you do things that you would not naturally or normally do. Therefore you should not be afraid to say 'No' when you want to. He should understand this..
If you feel that you are doing something that you resent, then next time the situation comes up, just say No. You can give a reason if you wish, but don't be afraid just to say that something is not for you.
♥ Evy
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Dear Reader,
Good for you for being able to make up your mind and stick with it; I know it's a hard thing to do. First off you shouldn't be scared about him getting mad for not pushing your personal limits, if he cares about you he wouldn't want you to go past your level of comfort anyway. However he may be getting frusterated if you have not plainly verbalized your limits to him, not because he's mad about not having sex but because he's confused about what your doing and thinking. I suggest next time you guys are alone together talk to him, tell him exactly where you want to draw the line. That way you won't be getting him all excited for nothing because he will already know that you do not intend to take it that far. He will respect your openness and also you alot more. And he may suprise you, he is probably also worried about the same thing. He may not feel ready for such a large step either. See girls have got the confused idea that all guys think about and want is sex, and it's really not. They get nervous and worried about all the same things as we do. Really communication is the only way to make a strong relationship stay strong or help a weak or troubled relationship get back on it's feet.
Another way to help you stay out of the problem is simply follow your gut instincts. Your instincts are ALWAYS right. Your right sometimes it is really hard to control your urges, ESPECIALLY in the heat of the moment. So just don't go places that you know you are likely to push your limits. If your gut is saying "bad idea" don't question it. Tell your boyfriend you don't feel good about being there.
You sound like a really smart girl so if you don't trust anyone else about it, trust yourself.
~Kambrey
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You shouldn't lead him on. Because you are just getting him all excited for nothing. Let him know that you don't want to be physically intimate.
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