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I need help-so I can help my friends; with a friend of their
Hello :)
Okay, so yesterday I saw one of my friends do something I've heard about for a long time, but never actually seen...lie. Yes, he lied. And it was pretty obvious, and also..pretty scary. You see, pretty much ALL YEAR I've heard one of my tightest friends talk about how he's changed, and lies, and so on..and ofcourse I belived her, but I guess it never really sunk in. Because when I actually experienced it for the first time (him lying straight to my face) it freaked me out. I was sp sworried for him, I wanted to cry. I was about to, but didn't. It hurts to see someone I've looked up to for such a long time lie. They're BIG lies too. And he should know that we can't possibly belive all this, it's crazy. And we basically have prrof that he's lying, but confronting him wont work, it's been tried already. And it didn't help, if anything..it made things worse, he had to lie even more to excuse his lies, and it was just..really bad. He was basically shaking when we were questioning, it's like he doesn't WANT to lie. But he still does it for some reason. I cant think of a reason WHY though, attention? I'm just really confused, you know. I really can't talk to him about this, and my friends have already tried. So what do I do? Just ignore it? Or stop ebing his friend? Tlak to his family about it? His other friends? Pleease help me, because I want to be able to help my friends (it's making them feel EVEN WORSE)
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I don't know what you can do about him lieing, but I don't think there is much you can do. If he wants to ,or has to lie, then he will, you can't really stop him. Just ignore it and try to not hang out with him as much if it bothers you. About your friends, if they think that it is thier fault, then they are a little off. But if they are worried about them tell them that they can talk to his family. Talking to his family won't necacerally help, it depends on how is family is, but they might talk to him about it. Just make sure that he knows that if he ever needs to talk to you that he can. I can't help you much more than that because I don't know what kind of lies. So, I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!
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This seems a little bizarre of a situation, but if a confrontation didn't work then I don't see anything else working.
Sometimes you just have to let people keep doing something wrong until they hit rock bottom and realize that they've hurt so many people around them. But don't wait for him to hit rock bottom, move on with your life and don't wait for something that won't happen for a really long time.
I know it's shocking to be lied to from someone you really thought you could trust, but it happens. People who you think aren't the type that would do a certain thing, you find out that they really can turn into that type of person.
You're right when you say that you can't talk to him about any of this because you know that you'll be told more lies. As for being his friend or not, you don't have to go up to him and tell him the friendship is over, but don't trust him with any secrets or any of your personal items or any of that stuff. In other words, make him more a friend who you just talk to like aqaintances. I wouldn't recommend talking to his family because I think that it would just make things worsen with him and you as friends.
-TheTeenGirl
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It might would help to know what it is he is lying about? drop some feedback and lemme know, and I'll edit my answer accordingly. I ask this because you said he lies about shit that you KNOW aint true. Now could he be doing it to impress you or your friends because he likes one of yall? Yea I know you might be thinkin' but why would he lie to get one of us to like him? Some guys are just retarted like that. Now on the other hand if he's lying and it's like: Yesterday when I got home from school Eminem was at my house! lol Now you know that's really out there but I'm just trying to make a point, If his lies are stretched out beyond imagination then it's time you and him go to the guidance counselor's office at school and sit down and talk this over with her/him. It seriously might help him. If you feel for some reason you can't do that then as embarassin as it will be for him, and if you feel comfortable enough, go talk to his older brother/sister or parent(s). If nothing else fails, then just walk away from him (meanin 86 him out the friend group) This is your last chance to make him realize that you or your friends cant take his lying anymore and maybe this will make him change. Good Luck To Ya'
*EDIT* 86 him means: cut off; let go of; forget him/her or it. In a sentence: "I'll do what you wanted me to, but you can 86 that other part!"
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I agree, confronting him is probably NOT the best idea. And definitly don't get his family involved. There might be a reason why he's lying, and telling them might make it worse.
If you DO decide to confront him, respect what he says. Don't keep stabbing at him for more when he's given you what he has to say.
Find out WHY he's lying.
Maybe he's looking for attention.
What kind of lies are they? Are they ones like "I won a million dollars" "I robbed a bank" Etc.
If they're extremely exaggerated, maybe he doesn't feel good about himself or he's trying to be 'cool'. Maybe he feels the need to be that way around his friends..
There could be many reasons why he's doing this.
Let it go for a while, see what happens. If it doesn't stop, talk to him.
Good luck!
♥ Evy
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Well lies..are tricky. Because once you start lying, sometimes its hard to stop. Your friend who changed and started lying, probably is lying because he's noticed that something inside of him has changed too, and he's afraid about what you would think of it. I can tell you exactly what is the reason for him lying, but its most likely personal to him, and confrontation is the best way, even if it didnt work, keep trying, but when you do it, say "It seems like you've been lying to me, please dont deny it if you are.." and so on, just explain to him that you realize he's lying and that he's not very good. Tell him that it hurts your feeling, if you really care for him and he cares for you he'll eventually open up.
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i have expierenced this...i think that's how you spell it.haha. but yea confronting him is probably not the best idea. it could be something with his health, family problems, friend problems, just hormones overall. i mean i would either talk to his friends and see what's going on mayb his family to. but don't go overboard or he could get even more mad and lie even more. or you can lie to him and when he figures out say "see you need to stop cuz that's how i felt when you lied to me" something like that.
I hope everything goes well and i hope this helped atleast a little!
Good luck
-Steph<3
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