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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
My S.O. and I have been together about a year. It was one of those things that was love at first sight and we fell hard and fast for each other. He's the only man I've ever trusted and the only man I've ever had sex with. We wound up getting a beautiful home together in a luxury neighborhood after being together 4 months. We were great together for the longest time but now I feel we're growing individually but not together.
Since we've gotten together we both moved out of our parent's homes.I started financing my first car. He got a full time job for the first time and now he's being promoted to Assistant Manager where he works. Though I already had a full time job (which I continued working until this week) I'm starting a new job soon where I'll be a manager which is a first for me as I'm usually just a sales rep. Of course we now pay our own bills and have contracts together on things such as a cellphone plan, an internet plan and furniture we're renting which is also new to both of us but I think we're doing great at all of the above.
But like I said before I feel that we're growing as individuals but not as a couple.
He hasn't made any sort of visual commitment to me such as a promise ring and I feel very uncomfortable (due to my mother raising me in a religious/conservative background)still being on the girlfriend level seeing as we're doing everything a married couple would (I'm not asking to be his wife but I want some sort of visual commitment that people see and know I'm his). I confronted him about a promise ring but he thought the idea was silly.
I also feel a little unappreciated I'm the one who does all of the cleaning/cooking and recently he's started asking "What's for dinner?" every night like he expects it to be made for him and I honestly don't mind but it would be nice if he brought home dinner sometimes. This next thing isn't too severe but he never buys me gifts ever. All of my friends boyfriends buy them little things here and there like chocolates. He's never ever bought me anything (not even for Christmas) yet I bought him hundreds of dollars worth of gifts from expensive designer glasses to a $400 phone. However he does pay the furniture payments out of his paycheck which is around $40.
He also tends to assume I'm doing something wrong (like thinking I'm putting dirty dishes in the clean dishwasher) and he verifies everything I say that's informative by googling it like he thinks I'm unintelligent I confronted him about that too and he said "Well I get it from my Dad.".
He does other small irritating things too like if he wants to go to sleep then I have to as well. He always wants to drive my car, use my cellphone and my laptop even though he also has his own of each. He's always giving me unwanted advice. He tells me what I should and shouldn't buy and what he thinks I need and don't need whether I want it or not.
With all of these bad things said though he's can be very sweet. He has a great sense of humor, he always kisses me good morning and good night, he makes sure that I'm safe and checks up on me when away from home, he supports me in decisions, goes to family gatherings,loves to cuddle and keeps himself relatively clean and wears clothing that I pick out for him just to make me happy.
I love him very much, more than anybody else in my life and I cherish him but lately the bad things that he does seem to outweigh the and I find myself feeling like a child under the supervision of an overbearing parent instead of a significant other and with me starting this new management job I don't know if I can handle him and the job. I think I might need to be alone for a while so I can figure things out without the stress of taking care of him and being able to do what I want when I want.
I talked to him about how he makes me feel last night and we discussed it for a few hours and he begged me to stay and give him another chance and that he promised to work on our relationship and didn't want to live without me. I felt good about it last night and like the chemistry was back but I woke up this morning feeling emotionally drained again.
I don't know what to do next now. I love him dearly and I still want to live together but I don't know if I want this relationship and I also don't want him to leave. I still want to live together but I'm not sure I want to as a couple but rather best friends especially if he doesn't want to change my status from girlfriend to something higher.
In one respect you two sort of jumped in the pool together somewhat quickly. There is nothing wrong with this though now you are starting to have your concerns. Partly due to your conservative religious background. You're looking for some type of commitment, a ring of some type.
As someone on the outside looking in I can see the commitment you're not seeing. You have purchased a house together, he helped you purchase your first car. You have furnished this house together.
There is evidence in what you have written that he is taking you for granted as well as evidence that he truly loves you. He is also the first man you have had sex with and I think you might be wondering what you may have missed or be missing although you have not said this it would be a concern you might have. Especially if he has had a number of sexual partners.
IF you're asking us whether to stay or go I don't feel that is the right thing for us to offer as advice. I feel there is a loving relationship here that has become lost in the comfort of living together as well as the stress of growing as individuals.
I believe the best advice I can offer is that you and he take advantage of the couples counseling available to you through your individual health plans or EAP programs at work.
Okay so i'm 13/f and was looking for anime henati (animated porn) and came across a facebook page with it so i clicked it and keep in mind my facebook account with my age in the settings was signed in and about 10 or 15 minutes later a window popped up and it was like policewatch dot org or something and had all these things saying my ip address and all these fines and that i had been convicted or something of holding/viewing pornography while underage and then said that my browser activity had been banned until my entire pc had been scanned and then when i tried to ex out of pages or change the website im on this window came up saying the same thing that my browsr activity has been banned and i tried shutting my computer down but a thingy came up saying google chrome has kept the compiter from shutting down so i force quit EVERYTHING and shut down my entire computer and im still hyperventalating and im so scared i havnt touched my computer in like an hour am i in trouble is this real please somebody help me because you have no idea how terrified i am (also sorry if wrong category i wasnt sure) (also im using mobile to ask this)
This is a scam and should clear if you just shut the page. If not do the following.
1. Shut down the computer.
2. restart you computer constantly pressing the F7 key until the computer starts. When asked select safe mode and press enter.
3. Know when the computer is running go to recovery and rest your computer to an earlier date.
This will in effect set your computer back to a time prior to this virus attacking it.
4. Download a good malware program and install it. Then run the program and let it clean your computer.
what is the average life span of a dog?
What I believe is amazing about a dogs life span is that it is directly proportionate to the amount of time a child needs a dog as their best friend. So that the child is old enough to understand when the animal dies or has to be put down. The average pure breeds life span ranges in length from 10 to 15 years.
Strange as it may be, mutts or pound puppies as I call them live significantly longer. We had a dog we rescued from a pound who was with us for almost 20 years.
I cook my chicken pan fried with a light amount of oil on medium heat, half covered. I cook the thighs for 30 min, they come out perfect. I cook the winglettes for 20 min, perfect. But... the drums and the drummets always seem to come out rubbery and tough. I cook the drums for 30 min and the drummets for 20. What am I doing wrong with the drums and drummets?
There are two things I can suggest.
1. Do not cover the pan when frying ever. This reduces the amount of steam that is escaping causing it to return to the oil. This not only cools the oil but can cause splattering and injure you or cause a fire . If you are concerned there are splatter guards you can purchase to fit over the pan that will allow the steam to escape. The oil will also remain at the proper cooking temperature.
2. Not knowing what order you cook the different pieces in. Make sure the oil has returned to a proper frying temperature before you put the fresh pieces in the pan. You want your oil at 350 degrees for proper frying. If it is not the chicken pieces will absorb some oil and you will get some rubbery chicken. Do not over crowed the pan.
I might also suggest if you do a lot of frying you consider purchasing a countertop deep fryer. For Christmas my son gave us a Fry Daddy (a Large one). My wife and I immediately noticed the difference in everything we fried from potatoes to chicken. Everything was less greasy and the chicken is much crisper.
The difference I see is the oil is at the proper temperature as we now can see the temperature of the oil. We also use the basket to drain the oil from the item being fried before turning it out on the paper towel. It was immediately noticeable on the towel that there was much less oil on the food.
I/we had never given this any thought before. Know knowing the difference I would have saved up for the deep fryer if I had needed to. My wife and I have decided that regardless of how little we may have to fry we will use the fryer. wW also believe it is healthier than pan frying.
One other thing food cooks in less time in the fryer because it is at the proper temperature so you will have to adjust your cooking times so not to over cook things.
Until you decide to purchase a deep fryer:
1. Do not cover your pan, buy a splatter guard if you want to protect you and your stove from grease splatters. They are inexpensive and can be found in the grocery store.
2. Make sure your oil is at least 350 degrees before placing food in the pan.
3. Try reducing the cooking time by 5 minutes. If the oil is at the right temperature you food will cook faster. This will also depend on the thickness of the food being cooked so you will have to adjust the time for thicker legs.
is it possible that i can get pregnant aft having sex with my undergarments on and where at same time my boyfriend has removed his boxers in the middle of it and then we continued ..... and all these happend just one night before of expected day of menstruation. I want to know. .is there any chance that i can get pregnant bcz its been 6 days late, i dint my period.previouslymy periods were quite regular.. Should i worry?should i contact a doc for this?
Doctors say that 80% of women are most fertile during the time from the 7th to 21st day of their cycle on a 28 day cycle. The other 20% can be fertile at any time during their cycle including while theY have their periods.
With the above in mind the answer to your question is: It is possible depending on when during your cycle you ovulate and become fertile. Just how likely it is that you are pregnant is slim but possible. I would suggest you go to the pharmacy and find a home test kit that allows you to test as soon as possible after you have had sex.
How likely is it that your boyfriends sperm swam through your undergarment and all the way to your fallopian tube to fertilize an egg. This would depend on where on your panties he ejaculated. How close to your vagina, what type of material the panties were made out of.
While it is possible the fact that you missed your period is higher for other factors than being pregnant. The only way to know for sure is with a home test. IF THE TEST IS POSITIVE DON'T FREAK OUT. There are more false positive then negatives. wait ten days and test again with a different kit. IF that test is positive then you are probably pregnant and need to see a doctor.
In the future if you are going to fool around in this manner with your boyfriend. When his penis is outside his pants make sure he covers it with a condom if it is going to be anywhere near your vagina, regardless if your vagina is clothed or not.
I got your reply to my husband watching porn and lying to me.. the thing is that I have approached it from that angle.. I have told him that instead of hiding it from me and then lying to me just be honest to me and I have even told him that maybe one time we could watch it together.. his answer when one night we came across a porn movie on the tv was that it would be embarrassing to watch it with me. seriously? I am his wife! sure, maybe it is a personal thing.. but why after so many times I have told him to just tell me that he doesn't have to hide it from me or lie to me does he continue to so so? and I understand where you are coming from.. and when he is confronted about porn or anything else in general.. he gets angry and denies anything and everything.. and then tries to turn the situation on me sometimes.. its like he thinks he never does anything wrong.. just the other night he was well drunk.. we were at a friends house drinking earlier and we went home and he started being mean and rude and saying hurtful things (and no he doesn't usually get that way when he drinks) and then after awhile he started throwing up and then got really emotional and apologizing and saying he doesn't wanna lose me and how much he loves me.. if that is the case then how come he treats me that way? and also, I do not go through his phone! there are just times that I come across the porn not thinking I was gonna come across it.. it just happened.. there are also times when he is confronted by things that he will just walk away/leave and then come back thinking and acting like nothing happened! and im sorry but im the type of person that if we are fighting you cant just walk away and then come back thinking everything is fine! im the type of person that if something happens I gotta talk to you about it or else it wont get resolved or whatever you wanna call it.. he is also the type of person that does not talk about his feelings or about how he feels or anything related to that! sometimes I have to practically beat it out of him to get some kind of answer or anything. and I kind of hate it because it makes it harder on me! lately yes, I have noticed that there are times that I can tell that he is trying a little.. but other than that its like im getting nowhere! I know that my husband loves me..and I love him with all my heart and then some.. but after everything that has happened in the past and some stuff that still continues to happen just makes everything a lot harder stressful on me! and yes, I do find porn disgusting.. why would anyone wanna sit there and watch random people have sex? its gross personally.. but like I have said.. my main thing is the lies and the hiding tuff from me.. it just makes me wonder what else he could be hiding from me?!?!?!?!?!?!? thank u for your help! yes, I have told you that I have watched it in the past.. but maybe once or twice years before I even met my husband.. and he knows that he can watch it with me because maybe 3 months ago we watched one together.. but he still continues to lie and hide it from me.. maybe ill never know.. maybe he will never stop.. but is it seriously something that I can just get used to or overlook?
I beleive you answer is in the last line of what you have written. Either that or some form of counseling for the two of you.
I'm not saying she is looking in terms of wanting to get with her students, just looking as in she is enjoying the view. She is still young.
I bet a young male teacher would not want to get with a teenage girl but still admire the view of them in their swim suits
I see your point
Alright so i live in Pakistan and i am 15 years old. I like a guy in my academy in my class it's been since 3 months i guess...
He always used to you know stare me and tease me....and help me in any way he can. He is like this only with me...(he liked me but didnt made it obvious) the point is that because of asian culture we cannot be friends..my parents dont mind that i will be friends with boys but they dont know him and they dont trust him (so you can see it is hard for me to explain them everything)
Okay so the main point comes here one day i was going he stopped me near the staircase ALONE !!
And asked me that can we be friends ??? Alright he is my crush i wanted to be his frnd but i was queit and shocked...he went from there without saying anything.
I told my sis about it and she told my mom -.-
She was angry but didnt said anything.. Then what hppnd is my mom went to my teachers and told them all the situation (she didnt tell them his name) so you see everything got worse....
He knew his compalin came etc but he was normal with me like before.....and now since 3 days he is totally IGNORING me out...(he told everyone his father is coming to the academy to check his progress so he was little tense about it too though he didnt came maybe he is like his father is coming so my teachers wont complain about him) he stares me but he ignores me and it really kills me...shud i talk to him that we can be good class fellows and sorry for what happened the past whole week or i should just let him ignore me :(.....(keep in mind we both are under observation by everyone)
I dont know he was normal after what all happened and i was too we both were going fine but idk what happaned with him...so what shud i do ?? Write him a letter talk to him and explain things or just let it go (but i feel sorry for him)
P.S his cousin who is in my class was staring me today and helped me twice with my work (he never did that before) and was smiling like an idiott.....is it connected something with my crush ??? :/ because today my crush was ignoring me but his cousin was staring me and smiling at me and helping me with my work.......but before my crush used to do this...(my crush was staring me today but as i mentioned above IGNORED me)
Kindly tell me what to say to my crush..shud i explain things to him or not ? ( i feel sad for him and miss theway he used to tease me help me etc ) :(
And when he stares me his eyes are full of anger..his eyes are full of hate :(
You should really ask this question of someone younger than me on this site or put it on the general board for all to have the opportunity to answer.
As someone who is old enough to be you grandfather my advice in this instance would be to honor your parents. Your 15 years old there will be more boys in your life and more crushes. In your society it is proper to do as your parents wish especially for young women.
Do you think my gym teacher enjoys looking at the male students in her class?
In 10th grade I am doing gym class and the teacher is this young lady (younger than 30) and she is pretty good looking. We are doing the swim unit and all the boys in the class of course are just in their swimming shorts. I wonder if the female gym teacher is enjoying looking at all the shirtless boys in the water?
Even just to see how fit everyone really is?
You are asking two different questions here.
If she is a good gym teacher she is taking the opportunity provided by the swim class to see how fit each of her students are. This is part of her job to provide you with ways to stay fit or get in shape. The swim class provides her with the opportunity to see which one of you are in most need of her as a teacher to get in shape. It would be expected of her to take this opportunity to do just that. There is nothing sexual about this.
I really can't answer the question of does she enjoy seeing young teenage boys in just their swim shorts. I'm sure as a gym teacher from a purely professional point of view she would enjoys seeing the results of your past gym teachers in watching fit young boys as they go about their swimming class.
This gym teacher is an adult. Contrary to what you think there are very, very few teachers who have a sexual interest in any of their students. Of those that might there are even fewer who would act upon those interests.
my conception date is like 3 weeks after i had sex. this is so confusing. someone explain this to me.
That is a little confusing. While the date of conception is not an exact science. I believe your doctor or the nurse confused or misinterpreted some of the information you gave them. You may want to go over that information again and ask them to recalculate your date of conception.
I really appreciate your help and your words in themselves! although.. I understand that you are a man.. I am a female.. we have different views.. I wasn't raised to hate porn or think that it was wrong! and I can certainly not sit here and tell you that I have never watched it before! because that would be a lie.. and you say the pictures and videos are for fantasy.. sure.. but he has nude pictures and videos on his phone of me.. the same phone that he uses to look up and watch the porn. and I definitely do not want this issue to create a huge line between me and my husband.. if I didn't love him I wouldn't be with him or be upset with this situation.. my main problem is that he lies to me about it and hides it from me.. when in the past I have told him numerous times that if he gonna watch just tell me.. and don't hide it from me.. and the fact that he continues to hide it from me and lie to me is what makes me extremely mad!! for example just the other day I was not going threw his phone I went on it to look something up because mine was dead and we were at a friends house and as soon as I pulled up his google app it popped up his history where he was looking up porn.. a little while later he could tell that something was bothering me and he asked me what was wrong and as soon as we were alone I mentioned it to him calmly.. and surprise surprise he denied it!! like seriously.. it doesn't just pop up in your history unless you typed it in and you pushed enter and you looked it up.. so of course at the point when I seen that I went to his internet and clicked on the history and he deleted the history on that!! sure all men out there wont understand where im coming from and they just defend the fact that its a "guy thing"i guess I will never understand and I guess its something I will have to love with even though I would much rather not live with it.. but what hurts the most is that I have told him SO many times how it makes me feel about myself and then he promises he doesn't and wont watch it.. and then turns around and watches it anyways.. it just really makes me feel like he doesn't even care one bit about my feelings.. because basically if he did care... he would keep his promises knowing how it makes me feel about myself!!
I'm not sure where to go in answering you with this question. I now have a better idea of how you feel and an understanding of your views of pornography. What I can't reply to is why your husband is lying to you or maybe I can give you some reasons but not his reason.
Pornography is a very personal thing as it is a fantasy, one that is not always something you want to share or even play out. There are all types of pornography out there to be viewed or read.
My wife is all caught up in certain Romance Novels one of the authors of happens to be someone who lives just a few streets away from where we live. I do not know if you are in to some of these Romance Novels but some of them are more trashy than some of the erotic literature that is written in some of the men's magazines. My wife likes them it her break from reality so who am I to judge. She does not hide it from me which is a difference from your situation.
Fantasy by definition is an escape mechanism. I don't know what type of pornography your husband looks at. Is it just naked women in general or does it follow a theme. If it follows a general theme say women with the opposite breast size then yours. Then this is a fantasy or fetish that he may not wish to share with you. As long as it is just a fantasy or a fetish and goes no further; why push the matter. You know he looks, you know he is going to lie about it and the lying is the only real problem between you. His looking at the pornography is not the problem if I have read what you wrote today correctly. This is a departure from your original letter.
Why he lies I can't say I don't know him. It could be from embarrassment of getting caught, he is embarrassed by what he is looking at, as in the type of porn. When it comes to sex and pornography people have all types of likes, dislikes and fetishes.
There are 26 letters in the alphabet and if I put some thought to it I could probably come up with a fetish or sexual act for each letter. I would say based on what you have told me, is that his viewing habits are very personal and something he is not ready to share with you. I do not believe he is trying to hurt you or demean you as a women or his wife by what he is looking at.
My advice for now is that since you do not have a problem with pornography in general. That you let sleeping dogs lie for now. Then one night when the mood is right you can broach the subject again this time from a different angle. From the angle of your okay with pornography but feel left out when it is hidden from you. Maybe once you know what he likes to look at what is fantasy all or part could become reality if shared. Just a thought but something along that line of thinking.
One of my male friends said that if his wife does not want to satisfy him sexually then he has a right to cheat on her with another woman. Or if she denies him sex then he should cheat. He says that women should always please their husbands. A lot of people agreed with him on this. I don't its okay to cheat just because your wife doesn't feel like having sex. What if your wife can't have sex because of medical conditions? What do you think?
Based on the manner your friend has framed his statement my answer would be; No it is not okay to cheat on his wife. To him I would respond what if the roles were reversed and it was the husband and not the wife. Would it be okay for her to cheat? I wonder what his answer would be?
Physical intimacy in a relationship can be very important especially in a young relationship. A reluctance on the part of a partner to have a physical relationship with their partner needs to explored to find out the base reason as there could be many. The most recognizable would be:
1. Religious reasons: sex is strictly for procreation. This could be something either partner holds true to. This is also something that should have been known prior to the wedding.
2. Physical illness prohibits physical intimacy. This illness could be short or long term.
3. For the male. Erectile dysfunction is a major cause of sexual dysfunction within a marriage.
The last two may be correctable with intervention by a doctor or they may not. In this case the couple may decide for the benefit of their marriage that the partner who can have sexual relations may do so outside of their marriage. This to me would not be cheating as the other partner is knowledgeable of the doing and most likely they have set some type of restrictions or parameters that the other partner can live with and both abide by.
My personal position is that with masturbation or mutual masturbation if able, this should be sufficient to satisfy anyone's sexual urges. I see no reason if there is enough love in the marriage to have to go outside of the marriage for sexual relief.
Now for the first reason. This would require the intervention of a minister, Parish Priest or Rabbi to counsel the person on sex in a marriage. As for the wife's duty to satisfy her husband's sexual needs? Tell this guy to come into the 21st century.
How can I have my information removed from this page?
Send a private message to Dangernerd. He is the webmaster of this site. Tell him what information you wish to remove and he will either remove it for you or tell you how you can do so.
I know this is an interesting question, but I was wondering.. should I get up at nighttime to wee? I'm only fourteen and every time I do get up to use the toilet, I end up staying up! So should I go to the toilet, or should I just stay in bed. I don't drink water before bed and.. I just don't know what to do. Help??
When you have to go, you have to go, so use the toilet when you need to. As for not being able to get back to sleep I question whether you turn lights on when you make your nocturnal trip to the bathroom.
If so try not turning bright lights on. If you need a light to find your way then ask mom or dad to get some night lights. These are low wattage lights that won't cause you to become fully awake when making your trip to the bathroom.
My wife and I found ourselves having the same problem know that we are getting older. We found these small lights meant to stick in closets that are just bright enough to light the way without being bright enough to make us come fully awake.
Having to urinate in the middle of the night is not an indication of any problem. It also does not have much of anything to do with how much water you take in before bed. Your kidneys work 24/7 and at night while you're resting is when they work to clean all the toxins of the day from your body. If you have a small bladder you just might not have the storage capacity to sleep through the night.
Try emptying your bladder, urinating, just before you go to sleep as this may help if you are not doing so. If the night time trips become more frequent you may wish to speak to a doctor.
Also if you drink a lot of carbonated beverages especially after dinner stop doing so. I can't explain why but carbonated beverages somehow cause more frequent urination.
I'm from Maryland and I was hanging out with some friends. They were smoking weed and had some on the table. A cop came to the house and knew they were smoking. Can I get in trouble for being there even if I didn't smoke or didn't have any in my possession?? I'm 17 by the way
Were you arrested along with your friends if they were arrested? Being arrested includes being given a summons which is like a driving ticket. It is called a desk appearance ticket and you were released to your parents custody.
IF the answer to my question is yes then you need to hire a lawyer. Are you in trouble? That depends on the States Attorney for the County you Live in. The bigger county's such as Baltimore, Prince Georges, and Montgomery Counties may not be as lenient as the western or eastern shore counties as the more urban counties have a bigger problem with drugs.
In your favor is the fact that many states in this legislative session are looking to pass laws legalizing pot. Maryland is among those state that will take up that matter during their legislative session this year.
If you were arrested or given a desk appearance ticket it is best to hire a lawyer and see what can be done before you go before a judge. This does not mean jail time. It could mean a diversion program such as a drug counseling class.
IF you were not arrested and the others were then you probably have nothing to worry about. If no one was arrested but your names were taken and the matter was referred to the states attorney. Then you still need a lawyer.
I'm 16/f. So, about a month ago, this kid in my class called me a slut. He said "go away, slut." Under his breath when I went to get a pencil. And since then I have been observing myself, and wondering why he said that. It didn't exactly hurt, more like caught me off guard and got me thinking, what could I have done to make anyone think that? I mean, I'm pretty conservative.
The only things I can honestly possibly think of are;
1.The fact that I flirt with the guys that flirt with me,
2. I make a lot of sexual jokes,
3. One day at the end of class when everyone was walking out I waited a little bit and took my top shirt off (I had a tank top under with my bra straps hidden) and left my top shirt on only around my neck, so I could pull my shirt off after my sweater was on to make sure that no skin that wasn't my arms showed. But still, just because he was there, a different boy was like, "Yeah, your clothes. Put them on." Which I can understand, but don't agree with... Only my arm skin was out the whole time.
4. I am horny almost ALL of the time and I find myself fantasizing about some of the boys in my school more and more every week -.-
5. A guy friend of mine once grabbed me as if he was listening to my stomach as I walked by him (he touches me like this a lot, arm around the shoulders, hugs, holds my face briefly, touches my hair and arms, things like that) he was sitting, I was standing. He put his head on my stomach & instead of pushing him away I touched his head, & I don't know, I guess it looked wrong? Everyone that saw said "woahhh" & I just gently backed away from him after a moment I took to process.
6. I stretch in class from time to time (I bend backwards in my seat)
7. When I catch a guy looking at me, I'm flattered instead of disgusted. I don't know if my face shows that or not.
8. When men on the street cat call to me, I smile politely at them (I feel rude ignoring them, even if they might rape me)
9. When the same boy that called me a slut smacked my butt one time, I didn't defend myself, I kind of just stood there & stared at him in shock, & I guess this is why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm too nice to the disrespectful guys that surround me?
10. I wore these stretchy leggings that look like jeans with pockets to school for literally the first time yesterday, and my best friend told me "those are the slut pants."
11. When I had swimming last year, I have walked around in my underwear in front of the other girls a few times. I was maybe about 50% comfortable with this,
Looking at this list makes me think I probably am a slut, but I want other comments. If any of you think this makes me a slut, please don't hesitate to tell me, and tell me why. I want honesty. I have been beating myself up about this, I know I should have more of a backbone about this, but I just don't know how, or what to say, or what to do...
Thank you for all of your answers in advance. Anything is appreciated :)
Let me start by saying I am old enough to be your grandfather. I tell you this so you know I have been around awhile and seen a lot of things.
I do not like the word slut. While the word may be in the dictionary the original meaning is not. The word is a derivative of the word SLUTTISSH, which first appeared in 1336 and described a slovenly man. So your comeback to any boy who calls you that could be "yes you are." Then you can give them the true origin of the word and let them go research the word as I have done for others who have come to us before you.
As to the things you wrote about. Nothing you do or did would fit the present definition of the word. He probably likes you and would want to date you though he feel you probably wouldn't give him the time of day if he asked you for it. Instead he puts you down so he can feel superior to you.
Don't let his insults affect you. Pretend to be a duck and the insults are water and let them roll of your back. If he continues to insult you and harass you then he is committing a crime and you should report him either to the school principal or to the police. Harassing you in school is a form of bullying something the Police and school authorities are taking very seriously.
If you want you can even tell him you consider him to be harassing you and if he does not stop you will report him to the police. IF he watches the evening news and smarter than a rock he will stop.
I am in middle school in 7th grade.I am 13. There is a boy named Ben, he really likes me. He started liking me when he saw my hair. Every time i try opening my locker, he just comes behind me and hugs me really tight. You know what I mean. I have told like 10 times. He got a lot of this and suspended. i tell the teachers i trust. i tell them cause sometimes they see me curse at that boy who likes me and if i don't tell them they have to write me up for cursing. he always tries to kiss me but i don't let him. one time he looked at me in a love look and i was scared he would do something and he did . he kissed me really fast from the mouth. everybody the hallway saw us. i ran to the restroom and i was crying. my teacher came and talked to me. and she said if you keep telling he will go to jail cause he might do something bad to you.. i really don't have that kind of that hard heart. my parents don't know because if i tell them they will not let me go to school anymore or they will just leave thr whole state. a lot of boys liked me but not as much as this boy does. i just can't describe how much he likes me. he says that he will do anything just for me. every day when he sees me he says "your hair is so cute". in the classroom ,sometimes my teacher steps out to talk with others, he tries to hug me and i just don't let i tell him to get off of me or let go of my hand, and when sometimes i stand up he just pulls me to the wall and tries to kiss me. but my friends save me from him.even if we have a party, i can't enjoy myself. yesterday in the after noon he hugged me from the back,putting his hand around my back and stomach,he said" where ever you go i will follow you. if anybody doesn't give you to me, i will just take from them. and that is a promise" i was crying in the bathroom:(, i am so scared. i really don't know what to do.please help :(
You're not being RAPED. Rape is a very serious crime for which this boy even at his young age could be arrested and go to jail if found guilty of raping you. So to begin with lets make sure you know what rape is.
Rape is when a male, boy or man, forces his penis into your vagina. This is called having sexual intercourse or carnal knowledge in the biblical form of the words. since you are under the age of consent, meaning you are not old enough to consent to sexual relations having consensual sex with someone older than you is called statutory rape.
There are also laws on the books called sodomy laws. These laws are also can be considered rape in certain circumstances where force is used. These laws cover oral sex and anal sex and are just as the sound, mouth to penis penetration, mouth to vagina, penis penetration of the anus.
From the description of what you have written you are the victim of a sexual crime or crimes but not rape. These crimes are no less serious to you though in the eyes of the law actual Rape carries a very heavy penalty so please know what you accuse someone of if a crime of a sexual nature is ever committed upon you.
What you are enduring is called sexual harassment, sexual assault and possibly stalking. These are all serious crimes for which even a young teenager can be charged. You have in what you have written gone to a teacher and a principal to report him. He has been suspended. Still he continues. So I have the facts correct?
If so your next course of action is to either go directly to the police and report him or go to you parents and have them call the police. If the school is telling you they have done all they can do and there is nothing else they can do then they are wrong. The next course of action would be to expel him and for them to report him to the police.
Since they are hesitant to do what is right then you have every right to do so. I suggest you go to your parents and tell them what is going on in school and ask them to call the police for you. The reason for this is to protect your rights during the investigation the police will have to perform before they can make an arrest.
During police investigations they are going to want to talk to you. You should have your parents or a parent with when the police interview you. Both for support and to make sure the police stay on track with their questions.
I'm 17 years old, male and gay. I have this friend since 5th grade and we been very close and now we're seniors in High School. I have very deep feelings for him...I want to tell him that i want to be with him but i don't know what he's going to say or do?
what can i do...I love him and he knows that i like him but i want more than a friendship with him.
If this friend knows your Gay and has not made any move to know you in that way then he is not interested in you in that way. Being gay and does not mean you cannot have straight friends. Being straight does not mean you cannot have gay friends. To my mind one has nothing to do with the other.
Medical science has finally come around to the thought that homosexuality is not a state of mind; it is how a person is born. Being gay or lesbian manifests itself more as puberty kicks in and you become more sexually aware. Though most gay and lesbians have said they have felt different all their lives that they just didn't wake up one morning and decide they were gay.
My advice is unless you know your friend is gay that you not come on to him unless you want to lose him as a friend. There is no reason why the two of you cannot be friends and do everything two guys do together. If you have not told him you are gay the only restriction on your friendship would be double dating. Once you come out to him you can even do that if you want.
My advice to you is when you are comfortable, if you have not already done so, is to tell him you are gay. Do not tell him how you feel about him though as it might scare him off. If he too is gay or bisexual then he will let you know his feeling otherwise consider him a straight friend that you might lust for but can't have.
Hi I am 21 years old. When i was younger I was molested. Its a terrible memory and something I struggle and deal with to this day. I have tried therapist after therapist but i am always on edge and nervous and have anxiety through the roof. 2 years ago I met the most amazing man. We tried our hardest to have a relationship but I struggle with letting him in. It doesnt make sense but I trust him, my anxiety takes off and pushes him away though. He finally said he couldnt handle it anymore and until I worked on it and made progress we couldnt't be together. He means the world to me. But as hard as i try nothing works. Any suggestions?
Thanks in advanced!
Would I be correct in assuming the molester was a close family member or neighbor or friend of the family. Would I also be correct if I said at the time you were thought to be too young to make an issue out of this and never really had any help or closure.
I say this because you are not the first young lady to write us with this problem. None of us are doctors and with something as serious as this we would not consider offering a suggestion for every situation is different and needs professional advice.
There is a National organization that has helped many women just like you find the right professionals in your hometown to help you. Not every psychologist or social worker has the proper training to deal with what you are dealing with. This organization can put you in touch with the right people and work with you to bring closure to what happened to you. It may not, as we have seen on the news of late,not be too late to bring sexual assault charges against the person who molested you. If you can this will go a long way in bring you the closure you need to move forward.
The organization I am talking about is called RAINN. RAINN stands for, Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They have a 24/7 hotline you can call which is 1-800-656-HELP. Buy calling this number your call is routed to a crisis center close to you. The call is totally confidential and the people who answer the phones are professionals trained to be able to help you.
Please call them, I know they can and will help you. To do so you have to make the call.
My boyfriend and i have had our intimate moments but i notice that the last time he fingered me we were being rough so he practically pumped it. So it kinda hurted but i didnt mind it much. But now my area down there has been hurting. Is that bad? What should i do?
Your boyfriend probably got too rough when fingering you and bruised you a bit, (something like punching you in the arm to hard). Nothing to worry about unless it continues to bother you after a few days of no sexual contact, fingering.
If it continues to bother you after 2 or 3 days then a trip to your GYN may be in order. This may sound strange but if you are bruised and ice pack will help reduce the swelling it has caused. Yea, I know do you really want to put an ice pack down there?