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Do you think ok to cheat if your spouse doesn't want to have sex?


Question Posted Thursday January 16 2014, 12:04 pm

One of my male friends said that if his wife does not want to satisfy him sexually then he has a right to cheat on her with another woman. Or if she denies him sex then he should cheat. He says that women should always please their husbands. A lot of people agreed with him on this. I don't its okay to cheat just because your wife doesn't feel like having sex. What if your wife can't have sex because of medical conditions? What do you think?


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AngelLove answered Tuesday January 21 2014, 9:50 am:
I think that if a guy will cheat for not getting sex the wife needs to give him a divorce. Also maybe she can't have sex because a medical condition or she doesn't want to risk having a child

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Pittguy answered Sunday January 19 2014, 12:55 pm:
Marriage is supposed to be about love. While sex in a relationship is important, it is only one small part of the entire equation. However, that small part can play a large role both physically and emotionally.

The simple answer is no, neither the male nor female partner in a relationship has the right to cheat on the other at any time. That being said, if one of the partners is denying the other intercourse, they probably shouldn't be surprised if their significant other is looking for intimacy in other places.

If a married couple is in a sex-less relationship, there are almost certainly deeper problems that need to be worked out. Traditional counseling and possibly the use of a sex therapist might help.

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Xui answered Friday January 17 2014, 2:27 pm:
No, I don't believe in cheating or having affairs for any reason.


If he isn't satisfied or happy in his marriage then I think he should either address marriage counseling or file for divorce. I do not think cheating is okay, I do not think having affairs okay either. No excuse for it

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adviceman49 answered Friday January 17 2014, 9:21 am:
Based on the manner your friend has framed his statement my answer would be; No it is not okay to cheat on his wife. To him I would respond what if the roles were reversed and it was the husband and not the wife. Would it be okay for her to cheat? I wonder what his answer would be?

Physical intimacy in a relationship can be very important especially in a young relationship. A reluctance on the part of a partner to have a physical relationship with their partner needs to explored to find out the base reason as there could be many. The most recognizable would be:

1. Religious reasons: sex is strictly for procreation. This could be something either partner holds true to. This is also something that should have been known prior to the wedding.

2. Physical illness prohibits physical intimacy. This illness could be short or long term.

3. For the male. Erectile dysfunction is a major cause of sexual dysfunction within a marriage.

The last two may be correctable with intervention by a doctor or they may not. In this case the couple may decide for the benefit of their marriage that the partner who can have sexual relations may do so outside of their marriage. This to me would not be cheating as the other partner is knowledgeable of the doing and most likely they have set some type of restrictions or parameters that the other partner can live with and both abide by.

My personal position is that with masturbation or mutual masturbation if able, this should be sufficient to satisfy anyone's sexual urges. I see no reason if there is enough love in the marriage to have to go outside of the marriage for sexual relief.

Now for the first reason. This would require the intervention of a minister, Parish Priest or Rabbi to counsel the person on sex in a marriage. As for the wife's duty to satisfy her husband's sexual needs? Tell this guy to come into the 21st century.

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rainhorse68 answered Friday January 17 2014, 3:02 am:
Absolutely NOT OK to cheat on a partner. As for the statement 'women should always please their husbands'?? What a dumbed-down, sexist, childish (and possibly all three!) comment! Naturally, the physical side of a relationship is important. It would be advisable to look for a reason WHY a woman does not want to be physically intimate with the partner she has chosen. There can be reasons, possibly addressed via counselling/therapy, or by simple informal communication. (ie. they talk to each other about it and endeavour to find a solution, or at worst a compromise). There can be medical reasons, a doctor is of course the first port of call. Either way, cheating is not an acceptable solution. In fact the only acceptable solutions if the case is permanently beyond doubt or help are he either accepts a 'sexless' marriage or they separate. I'm not convinced that a women allowing her husband to have sex with other women is ever really a beneficial long-term solution. Where is this 'supply' of women who will accept just sex, with a married man...with no ambition or desire for committment...indefinitely, going to come from for a start? Perhaps a single 'outside relationship'? A case of 'being faithful to his infidelity'..as you might say? Is it not likely that a far deeper connection is going to develop, on one side or the other, or both? Which only leaves escorts, paid companions (OK, prostitutes to put it plain and simple). Admittedly, THEY are not likely to fall in love with a client, as paying her for sex rarely endears a man to a woman! But it would take a very particular type of woman to find the arrangement of her partner using prostitutes acceptable, don't you think? You're right with your belief. It is not acceptable. And a woman who consents to her partner having sex with other women is either sacrificing her self-esteem entirley in order to please/keep him, or is completely apathetic to the relationship. Either condition is more than a little toxic, I'm sure you agree? We have to be pragmatic and realistic. If a relationship reaches this point and a. a sexless relationship is not acceptable to the man. b. No workable solution or compromise can be found. And c. The woman has at least the usual degree of self-respect, then in 99 out of 100 cases it will ultimately end in estrangement and separation. It's a matter of 'when' and not 'if'. We must also remember that a loss of interest in sex (for no physical/medical reason) is far, far more likely to be the SYMPTOM of other problems than the CAUSE. Good, mutually enjoyable, mutually desired sex will not of course solve deeper relationship issues. That's ridiculous. Even the most 'in love' couple spend only a small amount of time actually having sex when compared to living in general. But other relationship and/or personal issues will very often 'put the dampers' on mutually desired and enjoyable sex. It's not the be-all and end-all of the relationship, but IT IS a very good 'indicator' or 'marker' of the state of the relationship outside the bedroom. Guidance with pyscho-sexual problems are perhaps the most frequently requested service of the psychologist/therapist/counsellor. Also worth a mention, male interest in sex is stronlgy tied to him achieving and maintaining an erection. And around 50% of men will at some time in their lives experience a period (which may be brief, or somewhat longer) of lacking this 'interest', shall we say. This can of course be treated (and VERY successfully so!) with various prescription drugs. Best know perhaps being sildenafil ('Viagra'). It's interesting to note that no reputable, proven 'Women's Viagra' exists, isn't it? This is certainly because if a woman loses interest in sex, the 'block' overwhelmingly likely to be pyschological (in some way 'emotionally/mentally driven'). Which is not readily or easily treated by drugs. Hope my reply is not too technically rigorous/boring/sends you to sleep...etc. But I feel it deserves an answer in full. I'm not a fan of 'dumbing stuff down' and spoon-feeding cliches and home-spun philosophies to people who show an interest. Best wishes.

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lightoftruth answered Thursday January 16 2014, 8:07 pm:
Unless she is ok with him having sex with other women, then no obviously it's not ok.

If he really feels like he wants sex that bad, they should just get a divorce. Not having sex isn't a good reason at all to cheat, ever. Cheating is never ok.

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Razhie answered Thursday January 16 2014, 5:05 pm:
I think it's not cheating if your spouse agrees to allow you to seek sexual contact otherwise. Either because they are unwilling or unable to have sex with you, or have the kind of sex you desire.

Without your spouse's blessing, it's just cheating, no matter what excuse you make for yourself, and it's not okay.

Lying and deceit are never acceptable ways to deal with a disagreement with anyone, especially not your spouse.

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Jessica717 answered Thursday January 16 2014, 4:37 pm:
I agree with you; its wrong. Your friend is being selfish and not keeping to his vows to be faithful through thick or thin. I understand a need to be sexual and he is missing that, but that does not make it okay to cheat on his WIFE. I think they need to talk, have better communication and figure out why she doesn't want to have sex with him. This all could lead to an issue with something he is doing. If she has no interest in him sexually, maybe a divorce would be a better idea. If that is the case, and he is wanting to get gratification elsewhere, this just can't be a happy situation for anyone involved. I would say he needs to get his shit together and work with the woman he promised he would to, or move on and divorce. That's just my opinion though.

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