about

:.Hey x3
My name is Emily and blah blah blah.


:.I have a lot of personal, family, and friend issues of my own so a lot of times, I can probably relate to you a lot of times if you have personal, family, and/or friend issues.


:.I can offer a lot of information, help, and advice on family and friend relationships, love lives, depression, stretching/flexibility, weight loss, violin, being organized, dog training, forensics (public speaking), keeping up with school/extracurricular activities, eating disorders, writing (stories and poems), and probably a lot of other random stuff like what to drink when you eat something spicy and why.


:.Although I can help a lot of you guys on the above subjects, I don't tend to take my own advice so it can become quite an awkward/ironic/contradicting situation for me or make myself sound like a complete and utter hypocrite.


:.Hannah Whitall Smith once said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right." I agree 100% of it. Advice is advice and it is given when asked for. I give it and I leave it at that. It's up to the questioner/advice seeker to take it.


:.That point leads onto my philosophies in advice giving:
1. Advice is given when asked and no time else, unless your friend is about to irritate a black bear, then you should definitely advice your friend to back away and run for his or her life.
2. Advice is not critical, not judgmental, and definitely not biased. Advice is advice and should remain neutral.
3. Advice is to help, not to get 5s on every answer. As a result, my advice ends up being quite blunt and frank with a hint of rambling mixed in.

If you have general questions on the topics I can be a lot of help in (as listed above), most likely, they will be in my FORUM

If it is not, you can inbox me to request me to put it up.

:.If you want to ask me a question directly...
a)if it is not urgent and can wait a week or so, inbox me.
b)if it is an urgent question such as "I'm being eaten by a shark! What do I do???" first of all, I'm quite amazed that you can type while being eaten and second of all, e-mail me at cancel.life@gmail.com. I will answer you by midnight of that day (or if it's 11:55PM, probably by 3PM the following day).

advice

What would be the daily calorie intake for a 14 year old girl with a height of 5'8", and a weight of 133 lbs. I don't exercise on a daily basis, and I don't have time to go outside and run/jog, since I have a baby brother who I care for 4/7 days of the week. (My mom works from like 4-10 on those days). I'm guessing that it would be around 1300 calories.. what would be the calories that I should consume on a daily basis?

thanks in advance.

Well, in order to sustain your weight, you put a 0 at the end of your current weight and that's what you should eat. So 1330 calories. But since you're doing extra work with your baby brother, I think you could afford to eat more than that =)

& it takes you 3500 pounds to gain a pound in one day, by the way.

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To start off, I have absolutely no will power or self control. I can't stick to anything. Especially when I tell myself I'm going to cut down on sweets and sodas, and the next day I'm sitting down enjoying some cookies. Then, I'll tell myself I'll walk everyday. And it's been three days, and I haven't done so. I need to learn how to get some self control. Any suggestions?

Self control is hard to obtain & it was hard for me to make mine strict, so to say. You need to write down a list of punishments and awards for everything you do right.

If you don't stick with the not eating sweets/soda, "punish" yourself by no TV for the day or two. Something like that. If you don't walk, make yourself walk double the next day for the one you missed.

If you don't eat sweets/sodas for a week, reward yourself with a healthy fruit salad or a "fake at home spa day" type thing. If you keep up with the walk for a week, reward yourself by letting yourself be a complete couch potato and TV hugger.

Do not under any circumstances reward yourself with something that contradicts what you're doing. For example, don't reward yourself with sweets/sodas or reward yourself with a day off from walking.

Have your whole family pitch in. Make a little contract with your parents that you will not eat sweets and help them remove sweets/sodas from "easy to get" places. Instead, replace the sweets and soda places with healthy fruits and veggies all washed and cut up, ready to eat =) And have your family walk with you.

If you need anymore tips, inbox me =)

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(14/f)

Hey,
Does anybody know of an effective fitness video available the internet? Like a workout or anything that i can download on my computer? Or would Youtube just be the best option?
My computer is similar to a tv, thats why it would make sense just to download one here, instead of buying one.

Thank you very much!

I don't think you can download it, but you can certainly watch the workout videos online.

exercisetv.tv

I think that's right. It has quite a nifty amount of vids on there & you can talk to other people on that site =)

~Emily
15/f

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okay.
im thirteen.
and i want two tattoos.
your jaws are probably dropping.
but.
i want to wait until im seventeen.
:]
now i want:
http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s134/omgoshxitsxmeg/?action=view¤t=tattoos-2.jpg
that.
w/ a banner saying beautifully unique.
by the end of it.
[it ends to the lower left of my belly button.]
because.
thats what i am.
it should be crazily.
but that doesn't sound too good.
and the second:
http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s134/omgoshxitsxmeg/?action=view¤t=angel-wings-2.jpg
across my shoulderblades.
:D
now.
i would majorly appreciate.
your views on the matter.
thanks in advance.

Well, I myself have few things that I want to get tattooed on my body, but they're things that I draw or have in mind--not things that are popular or many people have. Also, they're small.

You have a couple of years from now on to think about tattoos so think about this:

When you get pregnant/deal with weight lose or gain, your tattoo will be effected in your stomach area.

It's permanent and old grannies with big tattoos scare me.

If you have a child, you don't want the child to ask what that big blob of ink on your body is.

I thought about those and I would much prefer to get small ones. But yeah. You know that they hurt like a b*tch and that you need to take extremely good care of it or it will get infected, right? The colors will fade from time to time so you need to go get them "touched up" so to speak.

But it's your choice =) Keep your eyes and mind wide open and I assure you that the tattoos you want today will be completely different from the tattoos you want a year later =)

~Emily
15/f

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Omg...15/f...my guy friend won't stop asking me for a webcamera session on MSN...what should I do? Nicely...?


If it was me, I personally would've blocked him already, lol.

Try these:
"My cam isn't working"
Reasons: pet bit it/knocked it over or it's malfunctioning or you/family knocked it over and it's not turning on.

"I can't find my cam"
Reason: Your family had another family over and the little kids thought it would be funny to play treasure hunt with your cam OR your parents used it to talk with your aunt, uncle, whoever & never returned it.

"I'm too lazy to set it up"
Reason: you're lazy?

"I can't right now."
Reason: parents in the room & it would be awkward.

"I can't find a place to put my cam"
Reason: surrounding is a mess and you have no place to put the cam on.

"Computer isn't letting me"
Reason: Your computer decided that it doesn't want a cam on its system.

"I don't have my cam anymore."
Reason: parents took it away because...make up something. Or say you lent it to a friend & the friend broke it?

If he doesn't stop bothering you, tell him that no is no and that if he can't accept it, you're not going to accept his IMs anymore *block* or *ignore* him for a while.

Good luck =)
~Emily
15/f

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i get really mad at my mom sometimes. like today, my friend came over since she had to borrow a cup of baking soda since they were baking cookies. they're more of family friends, so we visit each other alot. she invited me to come over there too, and i got all ready and stuff. i cleaned my room, took a shower, and i've been doing lots of things like helping with my baby brother, and stuff like that. and then i asked my mom if i could go to their house after doing all that and she said NO! im freaking 13 years old in a nice suburban neighborhood where nothing bad like ever happens. its daytime and people are outside like mowing their lawns, walking with dogs, riding their bikes, normal stuff like that. and my mom still says NO! alot of times when i wanna go over she says no and i ask why and she never tells me why! shes sleeping right now since she works at night. before she asked like what if something bad happened to me.. what the heck? ive been allowed to go all around my neighborhood since i was like 8 years old, but it feels like now that im 13, she has to be more protective over me? what the heck? i tried everything and she was really mad at me when i kept asking her to go. i hate this she never explains why! also for sleepovers its the same. she thinks "something will happen to me". i mean im not retarded, something could, but i dont want to waste my whole childhood without going to one of my friend's sleepovers (she doesnt want one at our house either, cause she doesnt want responsibility over other peoples kids.. i mean its not like we're gonna go burn the house down!) but shes like "no, cuz its her african custom". my dad says the same too. its soo retarded. i mean we can only sleep over at family's houses so thats not really like a sleepover im thinking of. anyway, on the subject how can i get her to trust me more? im a smart girl and my friend lives near, in my neighborhood, like 3 minutes away from my house by foot, about. and i really wanted to help them make the cookies.. geeeez. lots of kids my age visit their friends all the time but my mom just wants to confine us in our house alot!! i hate that. i barely ever get to visit my friends or go out with them to places like the movies, bowling, the mall, etc. UGHHH i cant even go on vacations on them, or to theme parks with them and their family! i mean family is good too but im just really really pissed right now cause im freaking bored.

First of all, I'm pretty offended by the way you use the word "retarded". It's not very nice to say at all & I'd appreciate it if you used it sparingly in the future.

As for your question:
I'm grounded throughout the summer. But I pretty much deserved it, I guess. [Parents are not happy when you pierce your lip without their knowledge, especially if it wasn't done by a professional]. So I pretty much am going through what you are.

My parents are really overprotective, not to mention my mom's paranoia about me getting kidnapped, raped, drugged, drunk, killed, pregnant, smoking, doing drugs, drinking, etc, etc, etc. I've only had like 4 sleepovers at my house & all 4 of those times was only because it was my birthday. I've slept over at like 3 people's houses and that's about it. But you'll learn that sleepovers aren't that important in life.

As for going over to friends houses...
Well, you should bring your friends over to your house as much as possible and have them suck up to your parents so that in the future, your parents would like them. Also have their parents meet your parents out of coincidence & your parents just might put more trust in your friend[s] and the family. My mom never really liked me going to friends' houses unless she did this FBI background check on them, lol. Point out the pluses for each friends and tell her that you're not going to land yourself in jail, abortion clinics, or underground covered in dirt.

As for going out to different places:
Make sure you ensure your mom that you'll be going with a group of people [4-5 including yourself] That might reassure her a little. Or have someone's older sister/brother that's responsible follow you guys [& agree to have the person ditch you guys when you actually get to the destination] Hmm, your last option is to have someone's parents follow you guys...

Make a pact with her that if you get into any trouble of any sort, she can take away your privilege of going over to someone's house, vice versa, or going out somewhere with friends for a month [or whatever time period you choose] & that if you clean your room & help out in the family & do whatever else you have to do, you should be allowed to go out with friends and blah blah.

~Emily
15/f

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I have I guess you could say 'mild acne'. Little pimples started forming when I was about 11, and I'm 14 and still have pimples on my forehead.

http://www.brownskin.net/images/acne01.jpg

This is a picture of what my acne looks like generally. THIS IS NOT A PICTURE OF MY SKIN. My skin is like a darker skin color than some girls because of my ethnicity (family is part russian, some armenian). I tried the Clearisil stuff in the white tube and it's good for like the occasional pimples and I want to use that once I get rid of the bigger ones. I also get like small pimples on my hairline, but thankfully they're covered by my hair (lol). I have a habit of sometimes not washing my face with my acne wash before I go to bed like after I wear foundation, so that might be the problem.

Okay, well, my mom offered to buy me Proactiv because she knows about my ongoing problem. My question is, will Proactiv take away the pimples and leave me with pimple free skin (with the occasional pimple) just in time for the new school year? I really love my skin because I have a nice complexion (glowing, naturally tan), so I really want to get rid of my pimples. I'm going to the mall with my friend this Monday/Tuesday, and my mom told me to check out the prices on Proactiv (they sell it at the mall), and tell her about it so she can get it for me.

Thanks in advance. :] (sorry for it being so long)

I've never used it, but remember this:
One thing doesn't always work for everyone.

I've heard it works wonders on some people, but for others it didn't do anything, dried out their skin, or even made it worse.

As the store person dude/dudette if they have a sampler or a cheap, little one you could buy to try out.

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well ok, i was wondering if mikey way is still gone, because i thought he is back now, and i mean everyone is saying that he is still gone, so can someone help me out?

THANKS IN ADVANCE

Well, there's the thing with their honeymoon =)
But recently, he's been sick and I've heard that My Chem is going to play only singles during Projekt Rev. I don't know if this is from Mikey being sick. I'm not sure if he's alright =(

I hope that he is

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I'm leaving on a trip tommorow and I wanted to download some new songs onto my ipod nano. The problem is that my itunes is not recognizing my ipod nano! This is the first time this has ever happened. Could anyone tell me why this is happening and how I can fix it? I would really like to put my new music on for my trip!
Thanks!!

This happens quite often for me, too. & it's pretty frustrating.

Try closing iTunes & unplug your iPod form the computer. Plug it in & if it still doesn't recognize. Unplugg the iPod & restart your computer. Chillax when your computer turns on for like 10min & then try plugging your iPod in again =)

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so i downloaded limewire twice, and both times no songs come up when i do a search. the loading process takes eons and in the end, it doesn't even work. is it a setting on my computer that's screwing it up? help me out please! or reccommend another good place for free music!!

For the search, try different key words.
You can do the title of a song or one word form the song and the artist name. Just mix it up & you'll get something =)

As for the actual downloading part, try and download from multiple sources. As in download as many as you need of the same song. Eventually, you'll find one that will download a whole lot faster than the others =)

~Emily
15/f

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My town(and school) has a play/musical every year and i was in one school musical. i am 14. I want to be in the towns musical but i am really shy and can't like sing infront of people(adition involes this)....I ask for a 'non-singing' part but then i get a part with little to no words or spoken parts. I am not sure what i can do to boost my cofidence!!!!
Help!!!

I use to be really shy in front of people.
It wasn't pretty nor did it involve singing or acting. Well, maybe a little bit of acting. Point is that I always tried to go last if I had to present in front of the class or tried to have my mom write me a note or something haha.

But I joined forensics team this year. That's where you do poetry related stuff [serious poetry, story telling, impromptu, duo interp, etc, etc, etc...it's pretty much endless.] But you have to speak in front of an audience no matter what category you choose. & basically I did iimpromptu & duo interp as my categroies this year & ahhh. So many experienced people for my first competition ever! So, rambling here. But what I found helpful is to rehearse with somene you know a whole friggin' lot. Rehearse it with a random person or your best friend. switch it up with people. Sing in front of your friend[s] and family member[s]. Basically, try and perform your part in front of people you know. It doesn't have to a gazillion at once. Just sing in front of one person several times [each time, try and get a new person]

Oh, banana's are good beta blockers so you should eat one or two aan hour before audition. & get enough protein! *beta blockers--it's basically helps you stay calm and blocks your nervousness & yes, it does help =)*

~Emily
15/f

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I weigh 105 pounds and im 5'2.
Thats not fat rightt???

That's not fat at all.
You should be around 110lbs, on average, that is.
Your BMI is 19.2 & I suggest you stay at that. 18.5 is the lowest and 24.5 is the highest and you're towards the lower half. So, hmm, yeah.
Stay as you are =)

~Emily
15/f

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15/f
Ok I'm not fat at all(15 and weigh 80lbs & NOT annorexic or belimic)
I want to know how to gain weight by being healthy which I thought toning my body out would work. (any other suggestions??)

I don't have weights to lift and don't want my parents to know so I don't wanna go out running.

Oh and every school year I get put down by people calling me annorexic or belimic and I don't know how to deal. Sometimes its my own friends.(but not my super close ones who know how much I eat).


I hate how I look in a swim suit because I think you can see my ribs so I don't like wearing one in front of a bunch of people, they always look at me!! (suggestions??)



PLEASE HELP!!!!

Here are sites where it tells you how to gain weight in a healthy manner:

http://www.snac.ucla.edu/pages/Resources/Handouts/HOWtGain.pdf

http://www.gain-weight-muscle-fast.com/weight-gain-for-women.html

The site above was tips to gain weight, I think?

You can go out running before they wake up, at like 5:30-6AM? I know, it's summer, but if you want to dedicate yourself to gain [muscle] weight, than you should at least try it out for a week. As for lifting weights...if you can't get to the gym or have no weights at home, you can definitely help around the house by carrying heavy things upstairs or cleaning the house or moving the furniture, although I don't think your parents will particularly like this. You can do push ups, curls ups, crunches, lunges, squats, and whatever in the secrecy of your room, too. I'm presuming that those will help you gain muscle? But try and gain weight by building lean muscles. Gaining weight by fat is useless since all the fat is going to go directly to your tummy and nowhere else.

As for the people who call you anorexic or bulimic, tell them that you're not and if they don't want to believe it, tell them that you'll go out and eat at a fast food place with them and sit and stare for 5hrs. Haha. But don't mind them much. If they don't want to believe you, that's their fault and they'll get over it one day.

& wear one piece swimsuits if 2 piece makes you feel uncomfortable. Hmm, yeah. I pretty have no answer for the swimsuit thing =/

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ok so im 15/f, and i was just wondering what guys actually look for in a girl. im not just talking about looks, im also talking about personality wise. also i was wondering what is the first thing a guy notices about a girl when he first sees her, looks wise. and do guys honestly only look at girls with big breasts? thanks in advance :]

I'm not a guy, but pretty much all my friends are guys. Only two are girls and my best friend is a guy, too =)

All guys have different preferrences. Some like a litlte bit of extra baggage while some will like rail thin. Most, I guess would prefer in betweeners. Some like big breasts, some hate big breasts and prefer small ones [I'm not lying when I tell you this. I have proof!] Some guys look at the girl's face while others look at her waist or shoulders or legs or smile or eyes or ahir and what not. Every guy is different. I know that I'm a sucker for sexy hair on guys lol

& with the personality, just be yourself. A guy or more will like you for your personality. Try and not be shy, though, and kind of put yourself out there for the world to see, but don't be arrogant in any fashion. I'm not sure, but I think most guys prefer girls that are outgoing in a way, but I may be wrong.

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how can i lose my last five pounds??? any ideas??? ive already lost 10

First off, congrats on losing the 10lbs!!!

And you should push yourself harder than usual. After losing 10lbs, your body will pobably have gotten used to your exercise/eating habits, thus not burning as much fat as it use to.

So switch your exercise routine to something completely different and something your body won't be expecting. And/or bring it up a notch =) The [sudden] change will make your body work harder & for eating, eat healthy 1200-1700 calories everyday. No sugary goodies =)

Good job and good luck!
~Emily
15/f

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Hey
ima soccer player and im really athletic and in shape 15/f by the way
anywho I have a pretty good body(like muscle/toned wise) and I tore abunch of ligaments in my ankle so I havnt been able to run or walk cause im on crutches
anyway I was wondering if there are exercises that I can do to keep up my leg strength and core strength, where I dont have to run

Thanks sooo much
I really need to keep in shape cause I have try outs coming once im healed

You can definitely do modified push ups [On your knees and not your feet], crunches, curl ups, pull ups, flex arm hang. Various ab exercises, most of which are laying down with out the use of ankles lol. I'm not sure about leg strength. But you should take it easy on your ankle/leg until it's completely healed =)

Good luck =)

~Emily
15/f

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what do they do at check ups? i havent been to one i na long time. like i know the weigh you and see how tall you are, take your temperature, and isten to your heart beat. but what else do they do? because last year the doctor thought it was a "12 year old check up" instead of the one for 7th grade so she started talking about periods and how they would check to make sure it was ok and everything next time. so do you think they will do it this time?

thnx lol

Well, first of all, if you're a guy, you should have a guy doctor and if you're a girl, you should have a female doctor. Makes things a whole lost more comfortable, haha =P

Anywhos, at check ups, they take your height, weight, blood pressure. Then they check your eye sight and take some blood for testing [I forgot what] If you're a girl, they'll recommend you for the HVP vaccine. And you should have you or your parent[s] ask the doctor for a list of shots you need or need updates on. I haven't been to one in a few years and I still need lots of shots:
HPV, Hepatitis A [I'm a vegetarian so my mom wanted me to get it], Chicken pox booster, Meningitis, and I think that was it. It might vary as to what you need to get. But basically they do basic stuff and if you need shots, they give you shots =)

~Emily
15/f

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I just had unprotected sex a few days ago(twice)and yes i know that was stupid with having no condom(i'm a girl, 16). My first fear is of course pregnancy, my period was two days late but i just got it today, so that means i'm not pregnan, right?!? Thats my fist question, then my second is, should i get tested for any std's or something? i haven't noticed anythig weird but is it still neccisary to get the test?
And not to be a total sex newbie but the guy i was with the other day asked me if i was "on the pill?" I didn't know what he ment so i just said yes...what pill is he talking about? What does it do?
Thanks!

I say you should still go and get checked for pregnancy along with STDs. Some STDs show no signs until it gets to the stage where it's irreversible. STDs do not have to show any irregularities to prove that they're there. So get tested for STDs.

The pill. He meant birth control pills. It protects you from pregnancy but NOT STDs.

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I'm in San Diego on vacation for two weeks. I've been planning on getting my cartilage pierced while I'm here. I've also almost managed to talk my mom into letting me get a little stud in my nose. Here's my question:

Will anyplace let me get both piercings at the same time? If not, how long would I have to wait to get the other one? If it's more than a week, is there a way to get around the rule, like going to two different places to do it? Is there any way they would know that I had one piercing done not too long ago?

Ok, so that was more than one question, but I don't want any problems.

I believe that you can get up to as many piercings as you'd like at once. My friend had her ears pierced three times at once. I'm sure they'll let you have you ear and nose pierced.

As for the nose, make sure you get it pierced with a NEEDLE!!! Why? Lower risk of infection, it's much more quicker than the gun [guns are made for the ears, which are thinner than your nose, thus it may take more than one try to actually get a piercing through] it hurts less [only studs can be used with the gun and the stud will be brutal since it will be forcing itself through such a thick layer of skin & besides, needles are sharper], and the needle will make the piercing more exact than the gun. And the nose usually take 8-10 weeks to fully heal. Don't mess with it. Don't touch it. Don't take it out. Just don't make any contact with the stud except for cleaning! If you leave it alone, clean it like you're suppose to, and let it take time healing, you'll be fine.

~Emily
15/f

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Could someone link me to photos of different piercings that could take place in the ear area? Thank you!

http://www.tribalectic.com/Gallery.asp

http://www.rankmytattoos.com/picture-gallery/ear-piercing/

I couldn't find that one site I really loved because it had pictures of so many different piercings. The first one is probably the one with most different ear piercings. You should definitely get an industrial or anti tragus =)

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