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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.












advice

Some was taking to me and said “ we gave each other hjs" but what does hjs mean??



Hand Job

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I'm 18/M


So my girlfriend of almost 9 months called me a week ago, and told me she kissed another guy. The big issue is that this one guy is the only person I've ever had a problem with in her life, and there's been a lot of issues involving him. About 4 months ago, she told me she had kissed him before we were dating, after she lied to me and said they never had. She violated my trust once, but I forgave her and told her, if there's anything else, this is your only chance to tell me and I'll listen. Well she promised me over and over that was it, and I believed her.

So she called me, told me it was on a night we watched a movie, and I said to her "That's after we started dating" and she kept saying it wasn't. I didn't believe her, so I made her call the local movie store and ask when that movie was rented, and sure enough it was after we started dating. It was also 4 days before my birthday. He kissed her, and she kissed him back for several minutes. What makes this worse is I was there that night, she kissed me many times that night and looked me in the eyes, kissed me goodnight, I left her house and she had him sleep over. She lied to me for 9 months. She promised this was the only other time anything happened, then after questioning more, I find out there was a 3rd time, when we were establishing our relationship, about a week before our first kiss. She said they kissed and he kissed her neck, then she again told me that was all. Then I find out, he took her shirt and bra off, kissed her chest, she had her hands down his pants....And she told me she had never done that before in her life. She lied to me about everything...Things that she had done before, and ever having any relations with this kid.

I was in love, and I got crushed. She kept lying over and over and yes, she cheated on me a few weeks into our relationship but then there was 8 months of perfection. I found it in my heart to try and forgive her and try to make things work, under one condition. This kid was to be out of her life completely, no matter what. She agreed, and a few days later she changed her mind. She told me I'm an awful person and completely unreasonable for making her choose between him and me, because he is a family friend. I told her it's me or him, and I want to know, do you think I should have taken her back, and am I being unreasonable telling her not to see him anymore?

Also,
He has also pressured her into drinking, and taking her shirt off for a stupid game, when he kept saying no. He texts her telling him to break up with me all the time, always talks bad about me, he talks bad to her, and always puts his hands on her.



Dump her, At this point you are wasting your time.


You have given your chances, She blew every single one of them. Guess what, 9 months is way to long to be lied too. For all you know, There could be a lot more to what you already were told. I am a big believer in "Once a cheater, Always a cheater" Sometimes in relationships people can only be given so many chances before you just have to realize it is time to move on. Unfortunately, You have reached this point in your relationship. Your girlfriend can't be faithful and respect you then she sure as hell don't deserve to be with you. She is wrong, You didn't make her choose. You told her how it was and how it was going to be and she still went on and continued doing what she was doing while well aware of the consequences. There is better, There will be better. Your best bet is to cut all contact (I'm a big fan of no drama too!) Don't let her reel you into thinking that she has changed and it won't happen again...She had 9 months to change and she didn't. If that guy likes to take advantage of her then let her learn the hard way. Find someone who will appreciate you for you.

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14/ f
So, I've been through a lot. Ive been abused by my step mom, i haven seen my real momsince my 7th birthday (court order) because she has schitzofrania, and i was raped by my bioligical mothers boyfriend from age 4-7. Now i see a sycologist, but i feel no change. I feel worthless and horrible, and i feel any guy can take advantage of me because i already feel dirty because i was raped.
& i have no idea how to fix this.
I am still a virgin but i have done everything else, because i feel as if i was taken advantage of already so it doesn't matter anymore. Which sounds like an excuse but i dont know how to totally explain it. Can someone help me think of a way to stay away from guys and just hang out with my friends that are girls and be happy like a normal teenager? and where i can get my focus back onto school?



First of all I'm sorry


If you are currently with your step mother and she is still abusing you, You need to report it. Tell a school guidance counselor or an adult that you trust. People who have been raped, It takes years and years of therapy. No matter how much you want to forget it will always be there and somehow you have to find it within yourself to overcome the past and conquer it. The first step of moving on is to focus on YOU. Keep yourself busy, Keep seeing your therapist and most of all keep hanging out with your friends. You must realize that what happened is NOT your fault. Life can be great, You have to put your mind set in another place and try to think of the positive. Keep attending school and spend time with friends use that as your focus to prove yourself. NO guy can take advantage you, Not anymore. It is not expected of you to hang around guys, Take time to heal yourself. Right now focus on you. If you need to schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist. You can even talk to a guidance counselor at school, Talking helps.


"You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered."

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I have been with this girl on and off for 2 years. Her last gf caused her to lose her job and her apartment. She has had money troubles I mean who hasnt. We got an apartment together, but my family didnt like me being with a girl and money was always a issue so I moved back to my moms. I sometimes regret it but now she is living with a friend who one day says shes gotta move then the next she dont. I feel bad because my gf doesnt have her own place and she is looking for a job and her own place but its hard. I sometimes feel im losing my feelings towards her because I am the one whos always buying and paying for everything I dont ever get to feel what the feels like is this normal and what should I do?


Have you tried talking to your girlfriend about how you feel? What is her reaction? You can't make anyone get out there and try, All you can do is try and motivate her to get out and better herself. If she isn't willing to do her part in the relationship then move on, Relationships don't work if only one person is willing to put in the effort. No, It is not normal to pay for everything all the time in a relationship but if your girlfriend IS trying to put in applications and get herself out there all you can do is support her.

If you feel that money is a baggage of stress, You need to talk to your girlfriend. Let her know money is tight and that you want to start doing things that are cheap or free. If your girlfriend loves you for you then money shouldn't matter. If it is something you feel you can no longer handle then maybe it's time to move on and focus on you.

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my boyfriend loves his ps3 blacks ops game. most of the time its what he talks about. finally i told him i don't care about black ops. and then it was like, we don't really have anything to talk about. we have been together for about a year and a half and are both 16 in highschool. i love him, i really do, but i get scared that we will split up because we never have things to talk about. other than the same old, how are you, how was your day, we don't really have much to talk about anymore. should i look for topics to think of to bring up in a conversation? but that seems desperate because we've been together, its not like a first date. but it feels like it. :(



Relationships take work, A lot of it.


Communication is what keeps the relationship going, If you find your relationship with your partner is failing then you two need to sit down and talk about how you both feel. Small talk is not going to get you anywhere and neither is fishing for things to talk about. You are right, It is desperate and it also a great way to kill your relationship.

You and your boyfriend need to get out more, Start doing fun things together. I don't know what state you live in but go to the movies once a week, There should be a day of the week where movie tickets are discounted for lower prices. Make dinner together, Watch movies, Go for walks, Even just going to the mall to look around is a great way of spending time together. Doing things together is what will keep your relationship alive. Your boyfriend playing ps3 all the time is NOT going to help your relationship.

Does your boyfriend play it 24.7?...Guess what, Relationships take effort, It won't work if it is a one way street. You both need to commit to it. Do you have other things in common? Music? Shopping? Cooking? ..If you do, Then try doing more of those things together. If you both don't have anything in common at all then I hate to say...You two probably aren't meant to be in a relationship.

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I love singing..!!!I want to be discovered.. I would audition for american idol, but i'm only 12!! Are there any kid singing competitions like American Idol? or in other words..a kid version of it?




Not that I know of but a great way to put yourself out there is doing karaoke in your local area.

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pictures from verizon phone to computer




In order to transfer your picture from your phone to your computer you will need a USB plug for your phone. These should be sold at any Verizon Wireless store in your area. USB plugs can also be found at Wal-Mart, Staples and even Radio Shack.

You can also email your picture to yourself and do it that way also.

A USB plug would generally look like this

http://usbt.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/usb-data-cable-for-pantech-c150.jpg

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i am 13 years old, i want to get my cartdilage peirced on both ears, my mom will let me. But does she legally have to be with me? Can if i wanted to go to the mall with my friends and get it peirced there, with just them there? Do i need parent consent? Because i know u need parent consent to get your tragus peirced.



You will need a guardian there with you, As most places you have to be of age 18 to receive piercings on your own.


Just like getting a tattoo or even a piercing at a tattoo parlor, You can't just walk in and get it done. They ID you to make sure you are the legal age as well as asking for your signature. No, They cannot get the "OK" from your friends they need a parents permission as you are a minor.

As I have in the past worked for a tattoo parlor, It is our rule and policy to check all ID's to those who walk in we copy your ID and ask for signature. False ID's can lead to being sued from the company. Again, You will need your parents there with you.

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A couple months ago, I had a bad break up with a a guy I had been with for over a year. He threatened me... I cried and cried! Anyway, my friend took me to the mall so I could meet some guys. I met some one and we were both wearing jerseys but for the opposite team. He approached me and said I was gonna lose and I said whatever talk to me after the game... so he said okay, I'll find you. When we ran into each other again, he was buying something so I said if ur team loses u have to buy me & he sed if his team wins, I have to give him my number. so then... my team lost & he came and found me and he bought me the thing anyway and got my number. as soon as I walked away he texted me. he's active military. we went out the next day and then the day after that. he is so sweet and nice. we've kissed on both dates and he texts me everyday, but he added me on FB and he has A TON OF GIRLS! like calls some babe so now i dont feel so special anymore and even tho i really like him, im thinking about pulling back because he's leaving at the end of February and it seems like I might get hurt in this... wdyt? what do i say? what do i do?





Can you see yourself in a relationship with someone who calls other woman "Babe?" It sounds to me that his facebook revealed a lot about how he cannot commit himself to one person. Lets face it, The guy knows how to sweet talk a woman you were not the first one. I think it would be best just to move on, Don't let him fool you.

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Im 16 and i just recently started having sex with with my boyfriend. were both new at all of this, and we both want to be safe so we've always used a condom. well after we were done we just layed down & he aways cleans his penis so i figured it was okay and i sorta layed on top of him.. and then all of a sudden he pushes me off and says he still had some on him. its been bothering me ever since, should i just stop worring? or could a possible pregnancy occur? the thought of that scares me..




You should be fine, Anything can happen yes but the chances are low considering you two used a condom. Next time though, Don't lay on top of him unless he has cleaned himself. Better to play it safe then to be sorry. However the chances of getting pregnant by laying on him, Unless his penis was inside of you...Are very low

Good for the both of you for playing it smart!

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I dont realy understand what days a girl is fertile and what days are less likely for pregnancy, could someone please explain that to me?



There is no such thing as infertile days, Woman are always likely to get pregnant without the proper protection. If you do not want to become pregnant, Birth controls and condoms will help unwanted pregnancy.


If you are wanting a child and are able to provide for one, You can seek an ovulation kit at your local pharmacy. Every woman is different, We can't tell you when your chances are higher than usual.

Good luck!

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Hi,
Im 21 and 5'4". I currently weigh around 160. in my past i was aneroxic and had to fight not to go to the hospital, but i was HAPPY with my image. i ate what i needed to keep energy and after high school, i gained 30 lbs. its not like i dont work out, I DO, 2 times a week. and I do eat healthy. im just becoming angry at myself and about to drop the food and everything else because i cannot handle it anymore. any advise or word to from the wise?





If you work out, You can work on toning yourself. Doing sit ups, Crunches, Curls can help you tone your stomach. Anorexic can lead to Kidney failure, Tooth Decay, Infertility, and a whole load of other problems. You are lucky, You've beaten what a lot cannot beat. If you feel like giving up you may want to seek help. Sometimes it takes perfessional help to overcome anorexia.

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So, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now...I'm starting to feel slightly lonesome in the relationship...we laugh and enjoy each others company, but there's practically no affection anymore...he used to be a lot more cuddly and kissed me way more, and now he only hugs me once in a blue moon, practically NEVER cuddles with me in bed anymore and as far as kissing goes, he only gives me a quick peck on the lips whenever we say goodbye. 95% of the time, it seems I'm the one who initiates sex...I know there's the whole "Honeymoon" phase, but I don't think it should disappear COMPLETELY. I know we haven't been dating for very long, but I'm absolutely crazy about him (And no, not the 'desperate, clingly' crazy) and all I want is just a little more affection from him...but I don't want to force it out of him either...

I guess what I'd like to know is if these are warning signs of any kind, or if this seems normal, and whether it is or not, how do I deal with it?




In the beginning of relationships there is a puppy love stage, It's when two people are getting to know one another. Overtime, Once we get to know each other we become used to the relationship. 5 months is still semi-new but depending on the couple and the relationship sometimes affection starts to die down a little bit in time. Spending some time apart helps keep the spark going, If you have friends make plans once a week for a few hours. If he wants to hang out with his friends let him. It is healthy to spend time apart once in a blue moon. Having your partner around 24.7 can really put the baggage on your relationship.


Affection is fine, However keep in mind that sometimes there are many reasons to why our partners aren't affection let me layout a few things

Stress, Depression, Work, etc. Can lack affection.

Talk to your boyfriend, Explain to him that you miss being affectionate with him. Think of ways to spice things up. If you are the one who seems to always initiate sex, Then discuss with your boyfriend things you can do to improve the matter. Assuming you are above the age of 18, Going to a sex store together and buying things could very well change the boredom for the two of you.

Warning signs wise, If you feel your boyfriend seems less interested in you then again, You need to talk to him. Do you have any warning signs in the relationship? Does he turn off his phone, Seem sketchy? Hiding things? Making up excuses? If so you may have a problem. Again, Communication shall give you answers. Talk to him

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Lately I have been feeling very nervous or even anxious. I have no idea why but the feeling that i feel inside makes me feel super uneasy. It's like i constantly have butterflies. I try to take a second to breath and calm down but it doesn't stop. It has been happening for about a week now and I don't know what to do. I have a lot going on in my life right now but I am not really worried about it too much so why is this happening to me?!




The symptoms you've described above sounds like anxiety, I would consult a doctor.

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i have a problem. my boyfriend never gets jealous. he only gets jealous rarely like only one time in the summer. i just want him to be jealous of whenever guys talk to me but he never shows it. it makes me feel like im not wanted by him and that he doesn't care. he only gets jealous if im gonna hang out with my girlfriends instead of him but i want him to be jealous of guys and me. how can i make him jealous? a little jealously in a relationship is always good but he just doesn't ever show it. he trusts me thats why he says he never does. but it doesn't make me feel special when he never gets jealous i think its cute if he ever did... :(

what should i do?





If you want your boyfriend to become jealous of the fact when you talk to other guys then you've got the wrong idea about relationships. Did you ever think that maybe your boyfriend doesn't get jealous because he trust you? This could be why he doesn't get jealous!


Jealously is a very bad thing for a relationships, It isn't healthy and overtime it causes lack of trust and puts stress on the relationships. If you don't feel wanted by your boyfriend because he doesn't show signs of jealously then you really order to reevaluate what a relationships means to you. It is not fair to jump to that accusation just because your boyfriend is doing what a boyfriend is supposed to do by putting his trust into your relationship. Don't assume he doesn't care, You will push him away.

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my boyfriend doesnt know that im really a virgin and sooner or later we are going to have sex. would he be able to tell im a virgin when he has sex with me for the first time? if so is there anyway i could break my own hymen?




Being a virgin is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, If your boyfriend makes a big deal over the fact of whether you are a virgin or not then he is not mature enough to be having sex in the first place nor are you for wanting to intentionally break your own hymen so you can dodge the possibility of him assuming you are.

There is a hell of a lot more to sex then to whether someone already lost their virginity or not.


To answer your question, No there is no way you can tell if someone is a virgin or not. There are many accidental ways woman break their hymen and can easily be broken from something as simple as horse back riding.

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I was with my boyfriend today and we went to the store to get some snacks, right when i went to get out of the car, my dad pulls up next to us so i put my hood up and my boyfriend drove away. my dad called me over and over so i didn't answer until i got home about 3 minutes later. He texted me saying that i'm lying and that he'll never buy me a car or anything like that. I'm 16, my bf is 17. I think i have the right to do what i want at my age. I live with my mom, so i don't get why he cares what i do when its not his visitation day. Ive been with my bf for 13 months. Should i just tell my dad or should i keep hiding it? I plan on moving in with my dad next month, but now im scared. He said he'll kill any guy who touches me, blah blah blah. and the thing is, that he's serious. how should i handle this? i'm so scared :(



Be honest


Your father is being a typical Dad, He is protecting you. Explain to your Dad that you have been seeing your boyfriend for over a year, Assure him that you know all the rules of safety. Although your Dad might not exactly want to hear it but letting him know may make him feel a bit better. Talk about it casually, The more the subject gets bought up the more he may gradually adjust to the fact that you are 16 years old and have a boyfriend. If your Dad adjust to the situation bring your boyfriend over a few times for dinner. Introduce him to your father and let him get used to the idea and let it work it's way from there.

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Okay so, not the easiest topic to approach, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

I've been having sex with my now-boyfriend (who's 26) for two, going on roughly three months. He's never initiated anything to begin with, and I've always felt so awkward doing it myself. I'm pretty submissive in the bedroom, so this is a new behavior to me.

However, this isn't the core issue. What I feel that is, is a lack of communication/understanding, or just plain out carelessness, in general. Lately our sex life has taken a halt, and when we are intimate it's not much of a session, or any quality/effort coming from his end, to be crass. He has issues with lasting (five minutes is pretty typical - and he asks if I cum quite often, in which I say no, honestly) I've asked him if he feels as if things have changed (I meant emotionally between us, and he took it as me asking if my anatomy changed -- and responds with, "you're not as tight as when we first had sex, no." Uhm, what?

Needless to say, it left me speechless and then dumbfounded by the utter stupidity. I've been with several people before him, one of which I had sex with nearly every day, for two years, and nothing changed. And at 19 years old, I'm doubting much CAN change unless I feel like giving birth sometime soon.

Anyway. He went onto say that I'm still "tight" and we have "good sex" just things aren't the "same" as the first time down there. I'm not sure how to even take these comments, or how to get it through his head that the vagina is a muscle that doesn't alter every time you have sex or place an object in it. Has anyone else ever dealt with this/and how DO you deal with it?




Why are you having sex with someone who is all about how tight your vagina is? If someone appreciated you for who you are it should not even be a thought. They should be happy for who you are and the way you are. Sorry to be so blunt but hell why blow a small thing out of proportion right?


Communication is HUGE in relationships, If your sex life is not satisfying then you two need to sit down and discuss how you two can improve your sex life.


When people first start dating, They are in which you call the "puppy stage" and after awhile of getting used to one another that flames tend to die down a bit. In the 3rd month, You two are starting to get used to one another and intimately maybe you two need to spice it up a bit.

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Hello my husband is in Afghanistan and this is going to be our first valentines day apart. I'm clueless on what i should send him for valentines day. I want to send him something cute and a gift but he's very picky and only really likes certain things. I know im going to send him a card with my perfume on it, a box of chocolates but i think there should be something more but i have no idea what. Any suggestions? Thanks



Your husband may be picky, However across the United States and far away from his wife I think he would be happy to hear from you and appreciate anything you send him.


You could also add a picture of the two of you, I'm sure he would like the gift you are going to send out. Remember, It doesn't have to be anything big it is the thought that counts and they say a picture says a thousand words.


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My parents have been married for 31 years. My Dad is a jerk, cheated on my mom several times early in the marriage, was an alcoholic & is now just plain mean to my mom. He treates her like a slave. My dad has been going outside on the patio, smoking cigars & playing online poker/games for over 2 years now. Just recently my sister & I were sitting on the sofa watching TV. She turned around & saw that my dad had a small window up with porn on it. My mom is a Christian & they both go to church. I KNOW she wont be okay with this especially because she meets all of his "physical needs" when every he wants. I have been very convicted about this & think I should tell her. Please give me your advice. Thanks.



Don't get involved


You stated your parents have been married for 31 years, I'm sure your mother is well aware that your father may be looking at porn. This isn't anything new, A lot of men look at porn, Even married men/couples. Your father may have made mistakes early on in the marriage but him looking at porn isn't really something to jump on to rat him out about he isn't doing anything harmful he is being a typical man. If your mother feels that she isn't meeting his sexual needs this is up to your mother to discuss with your father. Technically, This really should be the least of your worries as this is something that is between your mother and father. If your father were cheating on your mother and talking to other woman...That would be a little bit of a different story. For now, Worry about yourself

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