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Feeling a little lonely in the relationship...
So, I've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now...I'm starting to feel slightly lonesome in the relationship...we laugh and enjoy each others company, but there's practically no affection anymore...he used to be a lot more cuddly and kissed me way more, and now he only hugs me once in a blue moon, practically NEVER cuddles with me in bed anymore and as far as kissing goes, he only gives me a quick peck on the lips whenever we say goodbye. 95% of the time, it seems I'm the one who initiates sex...I know there's the whole "Honeymoon" phase, but I don't think it should disappear COMPLETELY. I know we haven't been dating for very long, but I'm absolutely crazy about him (And no, not the 'desperate, clingly' crazy) and all I want is just a little more affection from him...but I don't want to force it out of him either...
I guess what I'd like to know is if these are warning signs of any kind, or if this seems normal, and whether it is or not, how do I deal with it?
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Hey,
These aren't really warning signs. He probably just has something on is mind or is more tired that usual. Yes, this is completely normal in a relationship. Things can always be great then die down after some time. You just have to work together to build it up again. If you want him to show more affection, you have to let him know that you miss it. Guys can be clueless and think that you are alright with the way things are going if you never speak up.
Tell him that you loved it when he kissed/hugged you and that you would like him to do it more often. He should be able to put in the effort to make you more happy if you do the same for him. As for the bedroom, let him know that you liked it when he was more adventurous in bed. He will want to initiate sex if you wear sexy lingerie, tell him directly that you want him to turn you on, or by saying dirty things to get his mind on the topic. Shouldn't be too hard (he's a guy) and once his mind is there... :)
Otherwise, if you want more cuddling and sexy, passionate kisses, you could always initiate them yourself. It can be annoying, but I'm sure he will get into it once you show him what you have to offer. Tell him you can kiss him better than he can kiss you! (jokingly of course). I guarantee you will probably start some action with a little playful competition! It would be hard for any guy to say no to a challenge :p Compliment how good he is at what he does, make suggestions, and if you have to: schedule a 'cuddling' day where the two of you stay in bed, watching movies, cuddling all day. You could even make a game where whenever you/a stranger say his name (or something random), he has to kiss you :) Get him interested by finding things to do that are fun for the both of you. Get his input on what he likes doing the most with you and incorperate them. Who says love has to be boring?! Once you get that extra spark back into your lives, things should go back to normal <3
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In the beginning of relationships there is a puppy love stage, It's when two people are getting to know one another. Overtime, Once we get to know each other we become used to the relationship. 5 months is still semi-new but depending on the couple and the relationship sometimes affection starts to die down a little bit in time. Spending some time apart helps keep the spark going, If you have friends make plans once a week for a few hours. If he wants to hang out with his friends let him. It is healthy to spend time apart once in a blue moon. Having your partner around 24.7 can really put the baggage on your relationship.
Affection is fine, However keep in mind that sometimes there are many reasons to why our partners aren't affection let me layout a few things
Stress, Depression, Work, etc. Can lack affection.
Talk to your boyfriend, Explain to him that you miss being affectionate with him. Think of ways to spice things up. If you are the one who seems to always initiate sex, Then discuss with your boyfriend things you can do to improve the matter. Assuming you are above the age of 18, Going to a sex store together and buying things could very well change the boredom for the two of you.
Warning signs wise, If you feel your boyfriend seems less interested in you then again, You need to talk to him. Do you have any warning signs in the relationship? Does he turn off his phone, Seem sketchy? Hiding things? Making up excuses? If so you may have a problem. Again, Communication shall give you answers. Talk to him
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