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become angry at myself over my weight
Hi,
Im 21 and 5'4". I currently weigh around 160. in my past i was aneroxic and had to fight not to go to the hospital, but i was HAPPY with my image. i ate what i needed to keep energy and after high school, i gained 30 lbs. its not like i dont work out, I DO, 2 times a week. and I do eat healthy. im just becoming angry at myself and about to drop the food and everything else because i cannot handle it anymore. any advise or word to from the wise?
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Anorexia, like many other mental illnesses, is something that stays with you for life just in varying degrees. I think where it concerns your weight or future stresses and problems, your mind will resort to a very anorexic way of thinking.
I think you have to make more of an effort to find a positive balance with your diet and exercise as well as learning better coping mechanisms and distraction techniques.
Maybe eating little and often, reviewing your diet every so often and reminding yourself that its okay to eat, you need it to survive. Keep yourself in a logical mind when it comes to your food and self imagine when you feel yourself becoming emotionally vulnerable.
Also possibly increase your exercise to 3 - 4 times per week so that you start seeing a difference or join a sports team where your mind isnt on burning the calories and fat away but enjoying yourself in a social environment.
I'd also recommend getting maybe a support worker or a community psychiatric nurse that you could see weekly or something of that nature. Such illnesses like eating disorders can stay with a person for years even when they have satisfactorily recovered to the point where they can live as independently from services as you are. They can give you the professional support you need as well as someone to talk to.
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I will be blunt as that is what you need. It sounds as though that negative inner soundtrack that is associated with your previous anorexia is trying to convince you to stop eating again. You and I both know where dropping food lands you.
You NEED professional help and I hope you will seek it and tell people you know what is happening too as something is very wrong if you are back to this way of thinking. If you can't handle life nor function correctly it's signs of a dire issue and potential crisis. See someone.
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If you work out, You can work on toning yourself. Doing sit ups, Crunches, Curls can help you tone your stomach. Anorexic can lead to Kidney failure, Tooth Decay, Infertility, and a whole load of other problems. You are lucky, You've beaten what a lot cannot beat. If you feel like giving up you may want to seek help. Sometimes it takes perfessional help to overcome anorexia.
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