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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

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I am creating a faux research proposal for a class and my stats background is very limited.

The study I am creating has to do with parental empathy and child's conduct.

Parental empathy is measured by coding a parent interview and dichotomizes empathy as either high empathy or low empathy.

Conduct is measured by a teacher questionnaire and is again dichotomized, high conduct problems with low conduct problems.

What statistical test should I use to compare these two dichotomized variables?

I am not one good at doing stats, but just the idea of parents empathy for their childs conduct makes me think of what kids go through to feel accepted and liked by others. Parent were teens once too but today teens try stuff wilder than when we were teens. If a parent can think back to the basics of how they feel, wanting to be accepted, having low self esteem, shy, etc. then we can find ways to empathize with kids coloring their hair spring green/baby blue, getting a mohawk, multiple body piercings, having sex at earlier ages....the list goes on. WHile its not what we or our friends were doing at the same age, we can emphatize. If you can use questions based around that scenerio, you may be able to get a test to work.

12 year old female. Crush on girl in my classes. I am in an LGBT support group cuz I'm lesbian. I know she's Jewish and we're having a potluck at a Jewish community center, she could totally be there! My chinese zodiac (I'm a ram) says I'd meet someone this year, and I KNOW she's the one! Not like the last girl I thought was the one who wasn't. No she isn't my type anyway but this one on the other hand !!!!! What should I do?????

If you're going through the beginning of puberty, the hormones will make your sexual desires start to flow. Some are sure at this age. And others change their minds as they experience more over the years. So go for what you are interested in now. But do not exclude the possibility that you may be bi, or straight. Many bi women have families, only are attracted to one man but otherwise dont like men and are really into women with husbands who support them having female lovers. Right now tho, you are 12 and have a lot of years of exploring ahead. Just take a day at a time. There is no time log in which a person must experience such things. For now, it is safer to explore sex with a girl as you can't get pregnant and often girls do that a few times just to see what its like and move on to other things, or boys.
When you say 'shes the one' I think of that phrase as meaning the one person you end up in relationship with for life. HS sweethearts are possible but very rare. It is even more rare for a 12 yr old to meet the person they will be with for life. While you may have those intensions, and you feel grown up and mature, it is your body that is becoming mature, long before a final part of the brain in teens. The pre frontal cortex for example doesnt complete growing and becoming capable of the most mature decisions until our mid 20's roughly. Plus a person grows in knowledge and their likes and beliefs, and goals and such change a lot from ages 10-12 as compared to graduating HS. Even at 18, there is still tons of changes to a person going through their early twenties so that by mid to late 20s they are a totally different person so who may have been a good match at age 12 is no longer so later in life. At your age, teens go through many relationship before finding 'the one' for them for life. Keep in mind some people comes into your life for a reason, for a season or for life. So this gal may be meant to be in your life for just a short season but that is still good. Learn what you can in each relationship and never settle for less or go backwards. Always have the goal that each relationship will be a step b3tter than the last improving based on the troubles you learned from in the last.
Now as to what to do, become a friend first. The best sexual relationships have a base of being best friends first, otherwise, its likely to not work or fall apart quickly. So befriend her first, see if you even have any things in common. Once you're both on a very close basis as friends and can talk about anything, ask questions surrounding sexuality mixed in with other questions about her likes in food, favorite movies, type of humor, current events in the world and what she feels her sexuality to be. If she says she is straight, dont go there. Remain friends if you can but dont tell her of your crush. If she says shes' not sure yet or shes lesbian, then its okay to let her know you have a crush on her. There is no way of convincing a person to be with you if they are not the same sexually.

I'm a female, my boyfriend has been fingering me and eating me out a lot lately. Even when he isn't doing anything to me and I'm not even with him, I have been having a lot of liquids come out of me. What is it? Why is it continuously happening?

If you are flowing like the middle of your period but its not the usual blood, then thats not normal, go see your doctor.

If after sex (Fingering/oral) and you have orgasms while doing so, some women ejaculate but it flows into their bladder and some women have it flow out of their body pretty soon after so you leave a wet spot on sheet or in panties.
If you find it happening often, more like just the clear to yellowish liquid that is enough to spot your panty or a liner daily, then that is your bodys natural cleansing system. It is working constant, 24/7 to keep you clean inside cus the vagina is like a fragile ecosystem that requires a perfect balance of its own. This may be part cause of any wetness you experience even while not engaging in sexual activity. Another could be that thoughts of boyfriend or seeing other hunks as you go about your day, make your body react by producing the thicker female lubricant in prep for having sex, released when ever aroused or thinking of sexy arousing things. Females get aroused just like men do. With us its hidden from general view, with guys its real obvious. This type of wetness is also normal. So wear panty liners that you can change whenever to keep feeling fresh during the day.

Hi, do cancer good friend ever says i love you and i want to marry you one day while he's bit tipsy and joking in front of other friends?? he spoke in a different dialogue with his friends and i obviously didn't understand and when i asked him what u saying he said those words. i know that he likes me and we've been flirting casually.

Help guys!!!

When a person is tipsy or drunk, their inhibitions come down and they can tend to share things now that they would never want or agree to while sober. If you want to know for sure if someone means that, wait til you hear it when he is sober. If he won't then, I wouldn't put too much hope into it.

The fact that he was speaking in another language means you really have no way of knowing what he really said. People who don't want an english speaking person to hear what they are saying will speak in another language to friends. It may have been the truth or he may have made up with he said because he couldn't tell you what he really said without pissing you off and destroying his chance with you. For example, men being men, like to sometimes crudely share what they like about women so there's no way to know if his friends ask if he was with you only for your looks and he responded with I like female friends with good looking boobs cus it makes me feel more important and I feel like I can show off.
Give it time, to get to know who he really is, what he is consistently like, good or bad and then you'll know whether you can really trust what he says or is just blowing smoke.

Hii.. :) I have problem with myself.I dont love myself.I have lowsel estem.I wouldnt say im fat and i wouldnr say im think i would say im chubby(actually im 157cm and i have 50 kg). There are days when i think i look so good but then they are days when i dont even want to look at the mirror.Everybody expects from you to be perfect all the time any time.Its not imposible.I love fashion and dressing up and its my passion and i love reading..So i read a lot about that you cant love anyone else if you first dont love yourself and stuff like that.But then when i get my confidence there's society.Looking at girls who are famous and have money just by being pretty while i study all day and am still affraid about my future. Sometimes i want just to stop with everything,i want to seee how it feels to be famous,popular or being in centar of attention.I want to rest a littlebit from my rough days.I look at some girls in my school going around and comenting about who's what wearing and their hair. Why is that so much importat look at youself.Why gosssiping? Why? Mind your own buissnes...So in this world i feel like just one not important stranger. I feel like ill never find someone who trully loves me because who am i andnot because of my looks.Ofcours you first see look but i rather be with someone who is not that pretty but you can talk to..I am going from one thing to another. But my main goal is to get confidence and i dont know how.There is always something bringing me down,some voice telling me im not good enough.I ahte my height i may grown more bc im in my teenage years but i wouldnt be that much of a change. I may grow 3/4 cm and nothing more(Im now higher that my mum so i dont think ill grow more) and i hate my body. I have lots of pimples while my friends still dont have or have but just a little.everytime i try to lose weight nothing happend and i find myself always quiting after failures and failures..while other girls which are just bones and skin are like im too fat look at me and blah blah blah and then eveyone is like no you are perfect and blah blah blah.. I dont know what to do? Do you have any advice? :) ♥
Thank you? :)

I am going to mention 2 things for you.

First since you said you are a teen, there is some chance that perhaps hormones have part of the effect on how you feel about yourself. All females when puberty hits and hormones are released find their emotions and feelings go haywire. What I mean is extra touchy and irritable or extra sad and weepy. If a young female has an overload of hormones, instead of weepy and sad she can become depressed and/or suicidal, or on the other side violently angry, fighting. I mention this since you said you vascillate back and forth sometimes liking your looks and other times not.
Most teen girls worry about their looks. I had 3 girls who are now young adults. At 20, 21 they all still had really bad acne/pimples, its a part of growing up for many but I see more kids having it as our planet becomes more toxic and polluted than when I was a kid. I didn't have acne as a problem as a teen and only a rare peer had a bad case. My daughters dont really have it anymore. Lots of it has to do with getting beyond the age that your body is still changing and growing. So be patient and time will help. Pay attention also to what you eat. If I get too much chocolate or fats over a couple 3 days period, then even in my 50s, I will develop a pimple or two. Cut down or avoid foods where you break out more after eating, like a day or two later. The next bit might help or not butworth a try. Mmassage your face. Read up on line about lymph nodes and how they drain. Remember how a Dr. will check to see under chin near ears if your lymph nodes are swollen, its because the natural drainage of spent, toxins in the body is usually carried out of your system via lymph nodes and there are places to massage the face that encourage this and better blood flow too which all can help some.

Now, as for self confidence, that is a very important thing, more so than how you actually look. Think of people you see at a gathering. Are you attracted to go over and talk to the person who tries to blend into the background and not be seen, wont use eye contact and kinda mopes around, or are you attracted to meet and chat with the outgoing, more friendly, self assured smiling person? Human nature makes us want to be around positive people. So its a matter now of how to get there. Here's what to try for an exercise to get there. I will suggest that you borrow the self confidence of a celebrity until you have some success that way and automatically then produce your own. i will spell it out using my own personal success on that. When close to leaving my ex, I wanted self confidence for soon being single again. I can't remember where i heard it, but basically you think of a famous popular celeb that you come close to or have one feature that you like about you the most and think of a celeb who has the same. Or go for overall looks. I liked my eyes and thought of an older actress who had stunning eyes. Then whenever I left home, was about to enter a building, room, a gathering or party, I closed my eyes and concentrated on my eyes looking like hers, and imagining walking in and getting the kind of attention a celeb or popular person would get. After all, this is something you want to experience and most likely will if you can make it work. I wasn't too sure about it but freaked out when I got results, even after some time when I stopped picturing my eyes as looking like hers. Everywhere I went, men and women commented on how pretty, beautiful or mesmerizing my eyes were. I never got that before. I got these compliment even when not wearing makeup. A person needs a taste of success like that to be able to continue to grow their own self confidence and that is the best way I know how, experiencing something like that.
Before you think that it isnt worth trying, let me share another story. I once attended a nudist place in summer and you see people of every body type there, the beautiful model types but mostly average people. Without clothing to hide under, you see everyones wrinkles, freckles, flab and obesity. There were 2 woman present who were huge. The size of two average sized men together, and had rolls upon rolls of excess fat. One was popular and had people gathered around her, the other didnt attract anyone for conversation. With body types that were alike, I found the popular one to actually feel prettier to me, in fact looking at her face, even as a female, I could see beauty there. Then there was that which our subconscious can't see but all people are able to pick up on, self confidence. This one overweight women loved herself, was comfortable in her own body and had no problems with the way she looked and that is what people, including me, picked up on and were attracted to wanting to meet and talk to her. I'll never forget that the rest of my life. It was so inspiring an event for me to witness. And she was just being herself, not even trying hard to be something she wasnt. So once you gain self confidence, you will find it attracts men as strongly as looks do but if its a toss up over looks without confidence and average to plain looking with self confidence, tests done on men have proven they are attracted to self confidence and find that sexy. It is young males your age who just like females are sucked in to media's representation of what beauty is. They worry over their own looks to some extent too. And they are fooled into believing a slim body with big boobs is going to make them happy and satisfied in life. Then at some point most men grown up, sometime past mid 20's for most and they realize they have not been happy with the pretty lady with no brain between her ears, pretty but a drama queen, etc. and they develop their own taste in a woman that varies greatly from what media presents as the prize. In fact, some men prefer the bigger woman. Keep in mind what you look like as a teen is not what you will look like once you're in your later twenties for example. I know I grew prettier in looks and so did all my sisters, so did all my daughters. So you can't really judge your future success in relationships by how you look now. But you can work on the self confidence part now. Your peers may not be the best to practice it on, try to see the reaction from the average stranger whereever you go, shopping, to the movies or park or where ever. i wish you the best dear.

I would like to know how to bring and please another woman for the first time with my husband?

I ditto everything adviceman said. I have some past history attending swing club with my ex. We were mismatched sexually so attending did not fix our sex life. However, it did teach me some things I didn't know about myself sexually and helped me discover what I really wanted and what I lacking in my marriage.
I never liked more than one working with me at a time as I found input from an extra person to be distracting. Everyone is different so you may be able to do it, or after trying find you don't like it so much. But thats okay, its part of exploring sexually, as long as all the adults involved, are willing and not one dragging their feet or pestered and cajoled into doing this.
What I am not clear on is if you mean to have sex with a woman for your husband to only watch and not get involved in any other way, or if you meant both of you would be working on this other female. If he is turned on by watching, then just ask her what she likes. Kissing and massaging, sensual touch is all the same as doing so for your husband. If you want to try giving oral sex to a female. you are one so you already know some things to try and you may have it easier to sense when something you are doing is getting results in her, thats what I found the one time I tried it for curiousity sake and she orgasmed. It was a good feeling to know I could do that, something that some men either don't like to do or have great difficulty doing. Keep in mind that even if a 3 some and he is part of the giving and receiving sexually that you all agreed on, sometimes the smallest thing can trigger a negative thought in you and most often a comparing. Let me explain. OUr first time swapping in same room with another married couple, I made sounds with the other guy I never did with my husband and when he heard it, he remained flaccid and couldn't get it up. He was comparing himself and felt he was lacking in ability in some way cus now he couldn't call me frigid or put the blame on me. The fact was, he was perfect for someone else, just not me. So as adviceman said, be sure your sexual relationship is solid and healthy with hubby and the marriage a great one or it won't work for one of you or both of you. The worst case scenerio is you never do this again but now have trust or hurt or comparison issues between you and need to go for counseling to set your heads straight. Exploring this is not wrong, but a great many who are very mature responsible adults who think they can handle it, freeze up the moment they see their partner seeming to enjoy more on one aspect than with you and that kills it for you. It goes both ways, you too could find a man whose tongue seems to bring you orgasm faster than your husband. But your husband is better at fingering. Embrace the differences, don't compare differences as meaning one is lacking, but just different. Life is full of differences from the choices of foods, clothing styles, colors, to types of vegetation and flowers, etc.

Hi... First of all thank you soo much you actually helped me a lo last time so i decided to try again. So i have 2 of my "bestfriends" One is K other is C.I thougth im better with K and C then they are with each other and i think that i was wrong now (all my other friends said that also it was obvios)So we had a schooltrip and there K and C were together all the time they would just disssapear or something.And at one time They were 3 m infront of me and i just called them and said to C to give me my things(they were in her bag) and I just left.So then later they asked me if i was mad so they said that i was avoiding them(how was i avoiding you if you were walking 3 m infront of me?)And i said everything is okay..So then we were at one party and we were all dancing first it was just K and c together(because i didnt want to dance) but then later i joined and everytime i triend to say something to C -K would just interrupt us.. And then list goes on and on and on.. SO in the bus on the way back home C said something(i was listening to music so i didnt pay attention) and i saw something is going on so i askd whats wrong C said its nothing its just between me and K you dont need to know(that hurt me so much because C tells me everything(she doesnt tell K anything),and for example her dad moves away 6 months ago and i knew it but K didnt she found out from me because she didnty know what was going on and she is like now ooh are u okay and stuff.) so in that moment i started crying and they saw me and asked i didnt tell anything and that was that.So later home my parents little yelled at me for crying and said taht its to hard to have one best friend in 2 someone lied to me and those word hit me so hard.. And later in school i was a little avoiding them we didnt talk at all.I was so sad that they didnt want even to talk to or to ask me whats going on(but when K got mad at me and C we talekd that same night on skype for 3 hours to solve) SO one one friend asked like and they said we dont know whats going on we only know its not our foult shes just being grumpy or something like that.. So we got back together as friend(because of accident we were learning together geography and then we countinued to talk) and they think its acually all back at the same but i dont feel the same.. My Grandmum said to me that C is on some influes by K maybe.. What do you think? Pls help .. Pls pls pls..?
Im sorry there is probbaly lot of gramar mistakes(English is not my language) and sorry its to long(itriend to shorten it way possible..)
Thanks.. :) :* ♥
-J

I know the feeling you are dealing with. What you mentioned has happened to a great majority of people at some point in their lives. Humans being made as we are, our first thoughts when that happens it to feel negative emotions or negative thoughts like " I am rejected, unwanted, the 3rd wheel." So I'd say its normal to have that reaction but its not the healthiest perception for you to carry throughout your life. I will share my own thoughts on what a best friend is vs close friends or just acquaintances and you decide if you believe the same. If so, then you need to think different thoughts or correct yourself when the sad or negative ones come which they always do. Its how long you allow them to hang around and make you more miserable that you have the power to change.

Wikipedia says a Bestfriend is: someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship.

I am posting a link for you to read the synonyms(varied ways of saying the same thing) for 'close friends'
My own interpretation once I read the list upon which 'best friends' is listed as being the same as close friends is this:

I would venture to guess that all 3 of you are 'close friends' and that what you are witnessing between the 2 of them is what I would call 'best of friends or the best of all close friends."
Really, I don't see much difference between close friends and best friends except for some slight differences.
I want to start with saying that when anyone uses the word "best" that it means anything else, or anyone else just doesn't measure up, are lacking something, are not good enough and what we are doing is 'comparing'. Mankind created their own agreed upon standards for units to measure by like for liquids, lengths,heights, width, temperature, weights.
So we agree to use a set standard to compare things against a standard of measurement. Whether using a yard or meter, when purchasing cloth to sew, we buy by the yard and if the clerk only gave us a half a yard, it wouldn't be enough cloth to sew the garment we want to make. In these cases, standards are helpful. Furniture for example comes in different sizes. Just because one desk is 2 inches wider than another doesnt make it the best one of all...it all depends on what your needs are and the space you have to put it in. The problem is when we use comparisons and try to measure ourself against someone else that we have problems. People can't be measured that way. It truly is all about being different in some ways from another. If we were all carbon copies of each others,the world would be boring and we'd all be programmed robots. When we compare ourselves against others, we will always think that something is wrong with us and feel left out. I believe one can have many close friends, all those you find you enjoy spending time with the most. But there can only be one person at any point in your life (this can change)
who is the closest of the close and that is called the best friend. I like to think that what makes a person a best friend is something you don't have much control over. Yes, the trust is there with others but the trust is even deeper here, sharing only certain things with this one you wouldn't with any other because you know you can trust them to understand, not misunderstand, or think bad of you. Like handing your heart over to someone and asking them to protect it, take good care of it and keep it safe. Growing up as a kid and teen, I had a girl friend like that, a best friend. But I had other close friends. When she moved away and married life changed for both of us. Now, my husband is not just my husband and lover but also my best friend. We share things with each other that we'd never share with anyone else, not even family. We tend to be more like identical in 80% of our thoughts, beliefs and dreams and such so it wouldn't have the same impact sharing some things to others who would react with oh, okay or so what?. But to us, those ideas or thoughts and feelings are real important. This doesnt mean you can't be a good listening ear to either of them. Its likely they have some kind of chemistry together just like married couples can have but for friends. and I'm not talking about anything to do with having to be gay to have this closeness with someone of the same sex, just friends but closer than close. You can't be a carbon copy mix of both of them to fit in. Its impossible. You'd have to find that one person who is that close to you that they can be labeled if you must use labels, as the best friend you have at that point in life. Like mine who moved away, she'll still always be a close friend but usually a best friend is one who is there with you in person in your life and each of you meeting the others needs. Sometimes, a person can go through a long period of life having close friends but no best friend, because a best friend is very special, like someone tailor made for you and a person can reasonably not have one through childhood, teen years or kid raising stage and not find one until after all your kids have left home to be on their own. Just because you don't have one doesnt make you any less special. Keep this all in mind because it will help you too when it comes to dating and marrying someday. Do not change who you are to be right for some guy so he'll be interested in you. Its hard to continually be someone you really arent and the moment you're not concentrating on it, you subconsciously revert back to acting and being yourself which may not be what is right for your guy so he leaves you. Just be yourself, don't ever compare yourself to other girls and wish you weighed more, or less, had bigger or smaller boobs, a different face, etc. Learn to love who you are. Just as there is no right flavor of icecream to love, there is no one female that is right for all males. Each will have their own personal preferences and that doesnt mean all the other women are rejects and will never find a guy. If a man ever tells you he wishes you had bigger boobs or a different hair color, tell him to go find another girl and leave him. He is one of the few men who either haven't grown up yet, never will, are players, have a warped mental understanding of healthy relationships and may be critical and unloving, unsupportive in many other areas and a bad match for you as I found out with my first husband I married at 20. 30 yrs later he admitted to a counselor he'd never been in love with me. If you can catch yourself comparing yourself to others in any way, stop right there and say aloud or internally to yourself that "They aren't better than me, I am just different and right and perfect for someone else." This will help to build a self confidence which is what draws people to each other more easily for friendship or even boyfriends. Good luck dear.

A best friend is that one person in life that you connect with in a way that your

We are hosting a potluck for turkey day. the person who wanted to do this is a vegetarian, and then my boss said we all have to participate (yet, i normally dont involve myself in these activities, but since i must) ive decided to make dressing. Do I have to go out of my way to accommodate a vegetarian
co-worker?

There are also likely a person or two who are gluten or lactose intolerant. You don't have to make special allowances. Its different if its family members and you've invited them to dinner and don't cook anything they can eat. Then that is unthoughtful.
In general, People with special needs will ask whats in a sidedish and if they can't eat it, avoid it. I used to be a strict vegetarian and there are still some ingrediants I avoid. They are more likely to bring something that they know they can eat. If you put meat and gravy drippings in your dressing, it might be helpful to make a stand up note card listing whats in it. Some people are allergic to onion too. You might mention that it would be a good thing for everyone to bring a note listing ingrediants in their dish to make it easier for others to know what they can and can't eat of the not so obvious foods.

I am not funny! I pretty much just make a fool out of myself being all silly to try to be somewhat funny. I try to say funny things but they're not funny and it's just embarrassing. I try to just stop trying to be funny but I always seem to just keep trying. Any advice?

It sounds like you want to be thought of as funny. Maybe you associate that with be fun instead of boring as a friend. Think first of the type of humor that makes you laugh most, thats likely the one you'll be most comfortable using. My favorite humor that makes me laugh hardest is the play on words type. For example, a coworker yesterday mentioned they used to live in a studio so small that they put their bed in the closet to have more room for the general living area. the "in the closet' part of that story made me think of gay people who haven't come out of the closet as another use of the phrase. So i said, "So, if you slept in late you could say 'I haven't come out of the closet yet, right?" And everyone who heard it laughed.
When I was younger and very shy, I thought if I could be funny, I'd be more popular. So I tried too hard to be funny and wasn't at all. However in later years as I stopped worrying about whether i was funny or not, I would make comments at work, not meaning to be funny at all and all my coworkers starting laughing and I had to ask what was so funny. I thought I missed hearing a good joke and didn't realize til they said so, they were laughing at what I said.
I think your biggest problem will be trying to hard and focusing too much on it. But reading about styles of humor might be helpful if you still wish to work at it. Heres a couple links to lists of types of humor with descriptions of it.

http://laughing-stalk.blogspot.com/2010/02/understanding-7-different-types-of.html

http://www.dailywritingtips.com/20-types-and-forms-of-humor/

if I can strongly and positively feel like the presence of this thing is with me all the time, does that mean it's manifesting???

Each person is different as to how strongly they are able to focus their thoughts so theres no way for me to know your thoughts and whether your desires are manifesting. It sounds like what you wish to manifest is not something tangible that can be seen, or touched, or even an event that actually occurs. So this makes it hard to know. The power of our minds can manifest that which we do not really want and what we do want so it depends on your ever present thought life and whats going on there.

When I walked in to bring my boyfriend lunch, I see this girl sitting at a desk. She gave me the up and down look as I walked in and I told her I'm here to see my boyfriend. She doesn't close the door as soon I enter his office, she lingers and stares at us as we embrace and kiss..staring as if to confirm I was his gf... Just so bizarre.

I spent his lunch hour with him and this girl came in his office FIVE TIMES. In the span of an hour!!! Am I tripping or is that strange??? Every time she came in it was for some stupid irrelevant thing that could have been discussed any other time. The way she was smiling and looking at him turned me OFF. Women can tell when other women are trying to be subtle and cute in a way a man can't, my bf was so oblivious.

After the last time she came in, I asked my bf, does she always come through your office like this? And he was like yea, she comes through pretty often. And I was like, is this standard for interns? And he said no, but she's the type that likes to have constant contact and he appreciates her enthusiasm. When he said that I said she seems to have a little crush on you...

He laughed and said "she is a little flirty at times but I brush it off." I said how? And he said she's told him things like she loves older men. WHO TELLS THAT TO YOUR BOSS THAT IS AN OLDER MAN? And when would there ever be a time to even tell info like that? I didn't want to come off as insecure so I didn't ask for details. But isn't that super inappropriate? Am I being dramatic?

If this was happening in reverse, a male intern pestering his older female boss this way, it would be considered harassment and might even fall under sexual harassment if the guy said I am interested in Cougars, older women. It is not normal behavior for a workplace.
She sounds to me like she is interested in him. Either that or she is so unhappily single and cant find and keep a guy that she doesnt like any other female having a guy even if she doesnt want the guy and just works at trying to ruin the guys relationship with his lady.
She is pulling out all the stops to try to make you jealous. If you trust him and he is so into you that no other female could ever turn his head, then ignore it. Otherwise if you don't trust him, he may not be the right guy for you. Or talk to him and let him know as I said, if it was in reverse, it would be considered harassment and the fact he doesnt stop her from doing it implies it is okay with him.

Hi, my name is Emily, I'm from England. Ok, so I fancied this one boy at my school. He seems so sweet and just really nice. I have liked him for about a year (we speak to eachother and are friends)! I know a girl who is friends with my friends, and we are friendly to eachother but we're more acquaintances. She began to fancy him, told her friend who told him. She just had maybe 1 conversation with him and then started to fancy him about a week before he found out and asked her out. I'm not really jealous to be honest, I am over him pretty much, but now we don't really talk and when we walk past each other and make eye contact we quickly look away. We act like we don't know eachother. What should I do?

First off, keep in mind the following for all the years you are dating or later looking for a mate, that the best most happy stable relationships are based on two things:
1. Being best of friends with the guy
2. Both finding the other attractive or attractive sexually. (this doesnt mean engaging in sex when still real young tho.)

So the best place to start is being friends with a guy. Only problem to that is when a guy you are only best friends with starts dating another girl and is serious about her. She will not tolerate him still being chummy with other girls. You probably would feel a little unsettled at the least too is your boyfriend hung out privately with girls who were supposedly only friends, and not having enough time to spend with u.

It might be that it feels awkward to him to not be talking to you another, thus all the staring and looking away quickly. What you might do is approach him and let him know you have no hard feelings, are not jealous but miss talking to him as a friend. YOu want him to know this in case his girlfriend doesnt mind him chatting with you in passing at school. That way you don;t have to act as strangers. If she does have a problem with that, all he needs is to say, he wont be talking to keep her happy. Although, when a person has a bf/gf who is so easily threatened by others of their sex, and jealous alot, its wears thin pretty quickly and their partner may tire of them and break up. If you have that chat now and he does break up eventually with her, then there wont be a long period of awkward -no contact with you afterward if you've both agreed to remain friends.

I'm tired of men telling me im too good for them.....how is someone too good for someone? i have a level head, i stopped partying at 25, im 31 now..... i have no kids, a good job and im still single....wth...what do men want?

It may be that the men you are meeting aren't ready to settle down and commit to one lady. Although at 31 or older for a guy, this is the time they generally become ready for that. I happen to come across as a Miss Goody two shoes, someone guys feel they can't be themselves around. So it may just be your appearance and how you carry yourself that sends off a message that you are a prim and proper young lady and no occasional swearing, or sharing of their opinion or views, that you might not be lusty in the bedroom, and that you dont like partying or drinking.

What I suspect is that men think you may be too tame and no fun. Appearances can be deceiving and yet, men want a women who can be the prim and proper lady in public when the need fits but very adventurous in the bedroom. Basically, a gal who looks like an angel but is a very sexual sensual creature behind closed doors.

I dont know how you are finding these men. Perhaps a different plan is needed in finding Mr. Right. I used a dating site at age 50 to find my 2nd husband. I would have been content with a long term boyfriend too but i did make a list of what my needs and must haves are for a man. I was very specific. I told guys in detail who I was with my strengths and weaknesses up front, and also included a list of what i was looking for in a guy. This is much like having an objective when you go shopping for clothes. You need new bra or a new dress to attend a wedding and you will have criteria in mind as to what you want. Well, it needs to be the same for a guy. Just as a salesclerk cant sell you on an item you dont like, you are going to be picky about who you get as a guy. When you list the criteria a guy must be able to meet in order for you to be willing to get to know them better to even decide if there is chemistry or not to take him on as your new sweetheart, then it becomes a 'sellers market' as in housing sales, not a buyers market. You are selling yourself as all of us do in job interviews only for a mate. If you wait for a guy to decide you are right for him, it can take lots longer. You narrow down things by not making yourself easily available or 'desperate' enough to settle for less just to get a guy. That is not a winning move on anyones part. Subtly what happens when the guys are put in the position of having to 'apply' for the position of being your 'partner' is that you come across as very self assured, not a door mat, and having lots of self confidence. Self confidence is very attractive to men and tests have shown that when given a choice between average looks with self confidence, or the bombshell with no self confidence, mature men will always go for the self confident woman because they find that sexier. If you'd like to hear more about making a criteria list ahead of time whether to share with a guy the first time you meet him in public or to use in a dating site, let me know and I've give as many pointers as you need.

I noticed that on your column description you mentioned something about spirituality. I'm just curious what you meant by that? Are you a Christian, or Hindu, or something else?
You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I'm just curious.
It seems I am a whole lot less shy when it comes to asking people i don't know questions online...

I don't mind answering your question what the 'spirituality' is of the person behind Dragonflymagic.
I use spiritual rather than religious to describe myself for a reason. I'll start with mentioning I was part of organized religion from my teenage years (by my choice-parents stopped attending) until about 12 yrs ago and I'm in mid fifties now. I started with Lutheran and was invited to an Assemblies of God church by a friend. Last church was a Four Square church like a combo of Baptist and Assemblies if God. My spiritual growth began in Christian churches, despite what most people in church were like and what was taught. Eventually I left Christianity tho I still believe in and am close to God, Jesus and Holy Spirit which I also call the Goddess now. So I will share first the process of what caused me to move out beyond the Church.
Many things didn't make sense to me. Lots I found contradictory in the beliefs taught and Pastors could not explain away or answer my questions but asked me to use faith. In other words, its like you having a scrape or cut that became infected with pus and you were told to only put a bandage on it...no mention of cleaning it, antiseptic or going to see a doctor. The 'bandage' I was told to apply to everything is to trust in God to heal it . God gave us brains to use, He also gave people free will and those 2 things mean that blindly choosing to trust God in everything means that we end up stuck spiritually actually or stuck in life and our soul not moving on to things we are meant to learn and grow in. A few examples are:
1. we need to bring the gospel to everyone because if we don't and they died, they would go to Hell. This belief had me living with guilt If I wasn't preaching Jesus to strangers or pestering them to come to church with me. Our best example is Jesus himself. That is not how He worked with me in my spiritual growth. He talked the language and gave me goals for where I was at level/belief wise, and didn't give me too much that would freak me out and make me run the other way if I wasnt ready to hear such a truth. How could the God I knew as loving as my earthly parents be capable of sending me to Hell simply cus I never had a chance to hear the Gospel. If my earthly parents wouldn't treat me so, why would God. The more I thought about it, the more that having only this one life to get it right didnt make sense but Church teaches there is no such thing as reincarnation. God told me one day, “Would you believe me if I told you Reincarnation is real?” However there were many years of God talking to me, asking me to pray for people or give them a message from him or just giving me instructions I felt that would make me look like a fool but I did them and in the end, everything turned out to be right on the mark and so I learned to trust that voice of God personally inside me more than I trusted church doctrine or the beliefs of other people Christian, spiritual or not.
2. Jesus died to save us from our sins. I truly believed this until the moment God told me reincarnation was for real. With this new belief however, it would mean there was no reason to get everything right in one lifetime or end up in Hell. This raises questions as to why he died that way, what his purpose on earth was and what His will was. He did come to teach the Kingdom of God, wanting us to know His Father and know we are part of that family already simply by who created our souls. But like children who runaway or turn their backs on their family, mankind has that choice also.
3. It is Gods will for someone to be ill and suffer or die early. I had trouble with this too. If a person died of cancer or heart attack, it was more likely due to their eating habits or stress levels in life. The human body can only take so much stress as I am a good example of staying with my 1st husband 30 years. He was verbally abusive. The stress cant stay bottled up. It has to move and will affect us either emotionally or physically. I was affected physically from migraines to ulcers to full body rashes. I was still hanging on to one misunderstanding and wrong belief, “Trust God to heal your marriage”. One day God said, “Didn't I give all man a free will? Even your husband? So if you are waiting for me to wave a magic wand that forces him to change when he still believes there's nothing wrong with him, that's not going to happen. If you do not leave this marriage by 4 years from now, then you will die.” I chose to believe God. We had argued about divorce for a year and the ex was unwilling to cooperate at the time, so I just left him and went to live with friends out of state. I've since read books that in family or a marriage, if one person is advanced spiritually and their staying does not benefit the others spiritual growth or rather enables them to remain stuck, then He will take out the good guy earlier...that would have been me. That then leaves the other to hopefully have some chance of growing spiritually.

I eventually chose to stop attending church and had met a pagan friend who invited me to go to a pagan gathering that celebrates Lughnassad, or loaf mass, the earliest of harvests, the grains of late summer. I was very surprised to find Christian symbolism in everything they did. I wont go into all of that right now but it spurred me to do the first of my reading of other beliefs. Come to find that Christianity was modeled after pagan beliefs way back when for the purpose of getting the 'un-churched' which is the definition of 'pagan' to be more open to joining a church. So much of what pagans had been practicing for eons before Christianity is part of the rituals of pagan ways. I learned from books that in the early days of deciding what stayed in the Bible or was left out, that the Holy Spirit used to be called a She instead of He. I had always felt the Holy Spirit had the maternal/nurturing feminine aspects after which I believe God modeled women. The 2nd husband was not a Christian as the first husband but more open and accepting and on his own spiritual path. He introduced me to a book called the Urantia book. Urantia is the name in the heavenly realms for the planet earth. All earths history from the 1st humanoid beings that evolved, including the introduction of Adam and Eve, Jesus time on earth, and explanation of the Heavenly realms and all its beings answered any remaining questions I had.

I have studied a little of Buddism and Hinduism and mostly the religion of Ananda from Hindu originally, but this version accepts Jesus as one of the leaders as well as a certain line of Yogi's who brought this belief to the U.S. I have a daughter involved in this church so I am most familiar with this as well as the pagan beliefs.
I have nothing really against Christianity. It, like any other religion or belief system, is simply a scaffolding, a support structure in which a beginner to spiritual life can find It easy to progress. I simply progressed far beyond the limitations of the church.
I will also say that every belief on earth has a part of the truth. Likewise, they all have much of mistruth, misunderstandings and totally wrong interpretations or beliefs or doctrines. Not one is perfect. The objective of Jesus was that we each learn to have a personal relationship with His father and our creator and to realize that all souls, especially those we come across in life inhabiting human bodies, are all our sisters and brothers since we all come from the same Creator and we need to learn to love them as family which is harder a job to do than one may think. In pagan beliefs, some are part of Wicca or Druidism or you find most call themselves sole practitioners, meaning that the spiritual path they walk is one made just for themselves, especially for where their ability to understand spiritual matters and beliefs is at any given point in time. So that means, whatever you might hear straight from God meant just for you, may indeed seem to contradict what I believe. Looking back to what I used to believe, what I know now as truth contradicts what I used to believe. So you don't need to believe any of what I said, simply follow whatever path has you growing spiritually. Sorry, for a long explanation but short answers leave too many unspoken questions in my own mind and I figure it must be the same for most people.

On my previous question about being shy and disliking presentations, you mentioned that you would share some more advice on being the first to talk to someone if I sent you message. I would be very interested in that advice, as that is definitely a problem I have.

For instance, for this same project that I am so stressed to present, I am working in a group with two people I don't know that well. We had one part due last Friday, and we hadn't even started by Thursday, so I knew I had to talk to them, but I was too scared, so instead I sent an email, and instead of giving them my opinion on what we should do, I laid out pretty much every option we had available....and now we aren't doing what I would have liked to do because I was too scared to tell them what I wanted.

Anyways, yeah, some advice on talking to people would be nice.
Also, you had mentioned something about talking to my new crush about how I liked them, but I don't know how to do that. Well in principle I know how, but....yeah. I've had a crush on the same guy for about 3 years, and I haven't done anything because I can't get up the courage to say anything, and I'm afraid that if I do say anything, he will think I'm really weird, and our relationship, such as it is right now, will be ruined. I would rather be semicontent being friendly aquaintances than risk ruining our relationship for the small chance of him returning my feelings.

Sorry, that's a lot of talking...but I have had all this stuff stuck inside me and there's pretty much only one person I've told this too-not even my best friends, someone sort of outside all of this...and of course my journal knows all of this because I can't keep it all inside.

Here are the steps I went through. I had prayed and these are the steps God or my angel told me to do and it worked. I hope it works for you in getting over fear of talking to people. I did the following with strangers but you might do this with everyone since you have a hard time with even those you know.

1. Smile at strangers every day as you come across them. When you are comfortable with this, move on to step 2 (I was afraid if i smiled it would encourage people to talk to me so even this was hard) skip this if its no problem.
2. Smile and add saying hello to people you don't know. This is already harder because your mind will be going, "They're gonna think I'm nuts cus I am saying hi and they dont even know me." When you can do this without feeling awkward or shy, move to step 3
3. Smile and say hi to and then pay a compliment to another person. It could be telling the grocery clerk you love her necklace. Keep paying compliments to people until you can do so without being fearful of their reaction or simply the act of doing it. repeat often during day, dont try to just accomplish it once, if there's a person in front of you or near you, do so.
4. Smile, say Hi, and start a conversation with a stranger. Here's an example. When I'd be at a clothing rack and another woman was there...no matter her age, I would make a comment to her about the clothing. I'd pull something off the rack and ask what she thinks of it for me.
Keep trying statements with a question to get responses from a person. If they don't open up and start responding and sharing some of their story or thoughts then they are part of the 10% of people who are hermit like and don't like being around people or talking to them. I took a class that taught about personality types and discovered that 90% of people are very friendly but will not start conversation first. If you can learn to start conversation first, in every situation, you will find that the majority of people respond in a very friendly and supportive way. They won't find the fact that you start talking too weird. Once they figure you're a naturally friendly person you will see them willingly respond back and share bits and pieces of information and such.
I was trying to pick ripe but not over ripe melon one time when an older woman was tapping and listening to the melons. I asked what she was doing and she explained that there is a certain sound it makes so I learned something. Later we bump into each other in another aisle, and I say, "Well Hello again!" Her response, "Hello again. Do you use coupons?" "Sometimes." "Do you buy this product," she shows me something in her cart, "Yes I do." "Well I happen to have a coupon for a great deal on it if you'd like," and without waiting for my response reaches into pocket and hands it to me. You'd be amazed at the conversation you could have with people and be able to share helpful info with them or vice versa. And sometimes in the conversing you may find people who you have some things in common with and you decide to keep in touch with and exchange cell numbers and /or get their name for facebook friending. Once you are comfortable with talking to one person, then its a small matter to talk to groups of people. As for a crush or boyfriend, you'd need to overcome and become a pro at this first before trying to talk to him. Once you aren't afraid to talk to anyone, then is the time to approach him. Do the same steps as before. Guys like compliments too and have a want to feel needed and appreciated so if theres any small favor or help he might be able to do for you, ask him. But for the very beginning step: Start with smiling and looking his way often. Let him catch you looking before you look away to go back to what you were doing. And if he's not busy or surrounded by his buddies, then approach him and chat with him. Good luck.
This should help you.

This is my first time having sex with anyone and I am a 26 female and I started the birth control patch about 2 weeks ago and I wanted to know how long it takes get into your sysytem ?

That is a good question. I am surprised your Dr. didnt tell you when suggesting this one. As said, you can ask your pharmacist and they can tell you. Be sure to also ask if there are any things that can inadvertantly lessen the effectiveness of your particular birth control. I went to see my Dr. for a vaginal infection, got a prescription, went to pharmacy and it was the pharmacist who said, "Our records show that you take the pill. Taking this medication will lessen the affect of the pill, so if having sex until you finish the medication and so many days after, you will need to use condoms for added protection. So sometimes Drs can forget and fail to mention very important info. like this. Just call and ask your Dr. or pharmacist.

In my previous question, I said that my friend was mad at me and my other friend because she tried to commit suicide and we told our counselors and now she's mad and won't talk to us. Now its getting worse. Not only is she ignoring us, but she's gossiping and spreading rumors about the both of us. It has always been the both of us and now she can't look either of us in the eye. This is not like her and I need advice.

First, you did the right thing in saying something to the counselors. She may be angry now because she feels others have been controlling her, taking away her choice, and angry that you said something. While its important to keep a persons confidence when they confide in you, when it comes to being suicidal, that person is not in a healthy frame of mind at the time and any decisions they intend to make are most likely to be very poor ones. Besides a person being depressed to that point, which can happen at any age, teens also have more to battle. Their bodies develop and mature way faster than their minds, specifically the pre frontal cortex which doesnt mature until our mid 20s. And it is responsible for good decision making, problem solving, being able to see consequences down the road to any action they consider taking and ability to treat others well and with understanding. So she may have been saved from ending her life but she is likely still depressed, not responding yet or favorably to treatment if seeing a Dr, and has a mind to young yet to be able to see this as you having done her a favor.
I would suggest ignoring her and kids who really know you well enough are not going to believe her, those that do, arent worth being your friends. However, this doesnt help her process through and beyond all this. It might be helpful to her parents/Mom to know how she's doing when away from home, like at school, especially if shes taking any meds. Her Mom would need to know her progress or lack of it to report to her Dr. So you could find a time when you can call her Mom or talk to your Mom, have her call and ask for the other Mother and tell her that you have something you want to share with her. Let her know first off that you dont want her to get in trouble, you just want your old friend back but theres certain things she is doing that worry you and you don't see her getting past this, but still dwellin on it so you're concerned she might still be suicidal. Then let her know what her daughter is doing and ask her to keep you as the source of info anonymous to prevent further repercussions at school from her. After that, all you can do is pray for her dear. Life isnt easy for anyone and whats easier for some of us is even harder for others. Hopefully in 5 to 10 years when she's older, she'll be very glad you intervened for her and actually be thankful. So remain willing to let her back into your life and forgive even if she never asks forgiveness but just starts acting like a friend again. Hope this helps dear.

so ive been looking to the universe for this desire. ive been visualizing it the same way so many people have said to which is in first person. i feel insanely connected to this desire.

if i feel like i truely already have it and i feel so truely happy about having it physically in my life....... does that mean its manifesting????

Also, keep in mind that there isn't a time table of speed for seeing ones desires actually finally manifest if what you are trying to manifest involves the will and choices and desires of any other people. God gave us all a will and He won't over rule that to make one persons manifesting come into reality if it involves anothers will. If one person is stubbornly holding up the process because they are being given first choice to be part of what you are trying to manifest, it can come down to them running out of time to choose and choices moving on to other people, which is what makes the length of time to seeing your desire manifested kinda iffy. If you need some example to understand what I am saying, I'd be glad to share an example from my life. Let me know.

my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago and I want to die life just doesn't matter anymore

I assume she left you because if you wanted to leave her you wouldn't be feeling bad. So you are dealing with rejection and your mind is trying to come up with a measuring system as to where fell short of being worthy of her. You may feel you can't possibly ever find anyone else ever just like her or better than her. You may suffer low self confidence and hate the process of starting over with how to approach and ask another out. As bad as your heart is hurting and likely other things affecting you, like distracted, cant concentrate, adrenaline going non stop, heart pounding alot, unable to sleep and loss of appetite, (i know cus I experienced someone I loved leaving me) I didn't think I could truly find someone as special again. But I did. After being hurt like that, I put myself out there again via a dating site, met a lot of losers and was praying to God, disgusted and about to give up when the man i am now married to wrote to me. He far outshines any man I have ever met or dated and is perfect for me. Although when I was hurting like you, I couldn't see any hope at that moment either. Adviceman is right that life is a process of steps we go through in relationships, especially in our younger yrs as we are learning and improving ourselves and improving our search. With each relationship that breaks up, there will be hurt, the more perfect the person was for you, the greater that hurt will be. You can't avoid getting hurt unless you wall up your heart and then no one has access to getting or remaining close to you, not family, not friends and certainly not a new potential date or mate. If all people who were hurt as badly as you have been committed suicide today, the worlds population would drop by half or more tomorrow. So no matter how badly you feel, this is a reason to give up over. If you get to feeling so bad you think you will commit suicide, then call 911 and tell them and they'll send help to help you get over your most crucial period of time. As you gain distance, over time the pain will lessen, but the memories are still there without pain. I no longer have pain over the man who left me but I still have the good memories with him. Hope this helps.
If you need someone to talk to, write to me from my column so specifically I can receive your question unless you want to post to all.

I always research my dreams as I am a big believer that there's reasons and meanings behind them. However, I keep having dreams of my ex boyfriend, it's most likely my subconscious mind because I do miss him, but the dreams are really odd. Not only is he in my dreams, but they are so weird. I have had 2 dreams of where I have seen a picture of him with another girl but the pictures are blurry so I can't make out who she is but then last night I had a dream of seeing a photo of him, his auntie and his dad, they all looked the same apart from him, he was old with a gray, stubbly beard. I've searched all over the Internet but I can't get an answer, can anyone interpret this?

teehigh is right, we can only make suggestions but only you can know what answers ring a bell and sound of truth to you for your situation.
You are correct that your subconscious is involved. It all starts with thoughts and usually the thoughts of our awake mind when conscious. Ask yourself what you are thinking about him other than missing him. What are the reasons for splitting up? For example, did he decide to leave you but you still wanted to keep the relationship going? If one isn't willing, there isn't anything the other can do. So there may be rejection feelings on your part or wondering in what ways you may have been 'lacking' to him and there may be thoughts that if you could change some things about yourself, it might bring him back. I do not know your thoughts but often, what we desire, whether perfect for us or not, our subconscious picks up on that. And the sub feels its duty is to bring you happiness by making your wishes come true or at least that which you think on the most often. The subc. is also where our emotions reside so they are closely involved in anything the subc does and another things its in control of is our dreams. The subc. mind doesnt differentiate if what your thoughts dwell on are good things or bad things. Thus, people will fears of being robbed, or personally attacked will often find those things happening to them. The subc. mind will cause you to make bad decisions on purpose that place you in more dangerous situations where its more likely that these scary terrible things you think about and fear most, come true. Its a twisted way of acting like the Fairy Godmother trying to make your dreams come true. So even if theres no lingering issues in his mind, there must be in yours, and since you miss him, your sub allows you to see him in dreams hoping that will help. Seeing a blurry female with him is not something that you'd know in real life whether he is seeing someone else or not. That is just your conscious mind thinking that by now he must have found someone else and wondering what she is like and what she has that you don't. That is why in dream form, she is blurry because you don't know if there is someone or what she looks like. Now if you see a photo on facebook of his newest girlfriend, you will likely see her clearly in dream photos then since your mind now has a reference. Dreams don't always make total sense down to every last detail. The auntie and dad were two you actually knew how they looked, people in his life so thats why you could see them. They will always be a part of his life or his memories after they are gone. As to a girlfriend or future wife, being part of his entire life even when old at the end of his life, that is still up in the air and not settled. How does this affect you? If you are wanting to attempt to get him back, perhaps your subc is trying to say that until it is confirmed he has made a life time commitment to a new love, that there's always a chance.

However, what I want to caution you to, is that there can be two women or two men of equal wonderfulness, exactly alike. But only one is attractive while the other is not. Same goes for identical twins who even act the same. How is one preferred over the other then? I think its to do with pheremones, people emit them, animals do and its pheremones that attract a mate. Pheremones make the difference between I like you alot, have feelings for you, enjoy your company, maybe even love you, but I am not in love with you, and feel something is missing that I can't put my finger on. Theres nothing wrong with you but I feel you're not the right one for me. Most people can't put those feelings into words and don't know why they leave someone if there wasnt any big problems, fighting, abuse, etc. So dont be down on yourself. Understand that you are not lacking and that Mr Right is out there for you and hopefully soon your dreams will change to be a photo of you with a blurry man next to you or a clear face of what you tend to find attractive in looks of a guy. It doesnt mean the face you see is the person you will find in real life. Everyone has a free will to make their own choices. And until a choice has been made, the outcome of the future is iffy, based on other peoples choices, which often takes a situation totally out of your control or that of your mind, as evidenced by this split up if the guy decided to leave you. Hope this helps a bit dear.

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