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My best friend is ignoring me and spreading rumors about me.
In my previous question, I said that my friend was mad at me and my other friend because she tried to commit suicide and we told our counselors and now she's mad and won't talk to us. Now its getting worse. Not only is she ignoring us, but she's gossiping and spreading rumors about the both of us. It has always been the both of us and now she can't look either of us in the eye. This is not like her and I need advice.
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First, you did the right thing in saying something to the counselors. She may be angry now because she feels others have been controlling her, taking away her choice, and angry that you said something. While its important to keep a persons confidence when they confide in you, when it comes to being suicidal, that person is not in a healthy frame of mind at the time and any decisions they intend to make are most likely to be very poor ones. Besides a person being depressed to that point, which can happen at any age, teens also have more to battle. Their bodies develop and mature way faster than their minds, specifically the pre frontal cortex which doesnt mature until our mid 20s. And it is responsible for good decision making, problem solving, being able to see consequences down the road to any action they consider taking and ability to treat others well and with understanding. So she may have been saved from ending her life but she is likely still depressed, not responding yet or favorably to treatment if seeing a Dr, and has a mind to young yet to be able to see this as you having done her a favor.
I would suggest ignoring her and kids who really know you well enough are not going to believe her, those that do, arent worth being your friends. However, this doesnt help her process through and beyond all this. It might be helpful to her parents/Mom to know how she's doing when away from home, like at school, especially if shes taking any meds. Her Mom would need to know her progress or lack of it to report to her Dr. So you could find a time when you can call her Mom or talk to your Mom, have her call and ask for the other Mother and tell her that you have something you want to share with her. Let her know first off that you dont want her to get in trouble, you just want your old friend back but theres certain things she is doing that worry you and you don't see her getting past this, but still dwellin on it so you're concerned she might still be suicidal. Then let her know what her daughter is doing and ask her to keep you as the source of info anonymous to prevent further repercussions at school from her. After that, all you can do is pray for her dear. Life isnt easy for anyone and whats easier for some of us is even harder for others. Hopefully in 5 to 10 years when she's older, she'll be very glad you intervened for her and actually be thankful. So remain willing to let her back into your life and forgive even if she never asks forgiveness but just starts acting like a friend again. Hope this helps dear.
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