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How can I be approachable to sororities and normal people at the same time?


Question Posted Saturday November 14 2015, 11:21 pm

I'm going to college in January and I really want to be accepted into a sorority. I decided to change my style to very preppy with lots of skirts and dresses and bought a lot of good quality designer knock offs that replicate some very expensive items so I look a little wealthy and like I know a lot about fashion.
I also plan to replace all of my makeup with designer makeup items so people see me putting on expensive makeup. I also have a Macbook Air, iPad Mini, iPhone 6 Plus (which I jailbroke to make it look like it has ios9 3D touch so people think it's a 6S Plus), a DSLR camera and some real designer items that I splurged on.

I'm hoping all this stuff will make it easier to get accepted into a sorority than if I just wore normal items that aren't really notable.

I also want to come off approachable though and be the smart, funny, pretty girl that people want to be friends with. I don't want to come off as a rich snob because I really want to make a lot of friends in case the sorority thing falls through.

How can I balance out the two while still being noticed for my "designer" items?


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Dragonflymagic answered Sunday November 15 2015, 5:51 pm:
I need to be honest with you hon and talk to you as if you were one of my daughters asking me the same advice. It may sound a good idea and totally fool proof to you but i see instant problems to this based on my own life experiences and books I have read further on the subject.

What you are considering doing is called "creating a false personality, or imposter identity". As long as its based on how you act talk dress etc and not illegal identity on paper records, then its not illegal but it does come with its set of problems. I will list the problems and let you decide for yourself whether you still want to do this or not. At 20 I married and soon after heard of all the things He wished were different about me, so its not sorority based but in essense, I wanted to do the same thing, change who I was to be accepted by the husband. He asked if I'd consider going from brunette to red head, wanted me to get a nose job and get bigger boobs and act differently. I wasnt keen on anything surgical but I changed much of my personality to adapt to what pleased him more. In doing so, I lost my own identity for a while because my behavior changed. Although most people trying to impress someone long enough to get accepted into their life or association (sorority) will do the kind of things you contemplate doing. Designer fashion is harmless and a new style harmless, but its not you. What happens here is once you've set up a false persona, your conscious mind must be on full alert to constantly act a certain way and not let the real you slip through for them to see.
However, being human, we all go on automatic pilot often during our day or week and thats when our subconscious takes over, when you aren't conscious thinking of your actions and thats when the real you comes through. Trying to prevent that from happening is very stressful to a person. It is stressful to keep up a pretense and a person can never know if others like you for who you really are because all they know is the persona you present. Once people discover who you really are and that you were pretending to be something you are not, its mostly likely that you will lose their respect if not their friendship and either you can end up resenting them for how you're treated or them resenting you for not being real with them. Many take it as being 'lied' to and that kills it for them. If you met a guy who thought you truly were the picture you present, he's from rich background and takes you home to meet the family and they discover you are not cus you dont act like a girl brought up in a privileged home, they might forbid him from seeing you or he may dump you being brought up to know he needs to marry into a family with equal wealth someday. Lots of kids will do exactly as the parents say. This all holds lots of future stress and heartache for you if anything goes sideways. If you set up a false persona just to get in to a sorority you think will up your importance, but when away from them try to be yourself to win over a totally different group of friends, you will most certainly be discovered even faster for having duel personalitys or may be called 2 faced and lose respect of both the average kids and the sorority and wealthy types.
So either you find a sorority that matches who you are right now as a person, or you take the path of setting up a false persona with the eventual problems in the future, but doing both is setting yourself up for almost instant failure. People are not stupid. They can be fooled for a while, but when inconsistencies show, they'll notice and then you're in trouble.

I haven't even mentioned the possibility of mental stress, emotional or physical stress to you due to having to be constantly on alert to keep up a false persona. Constant stress of living with a group of girls under that condition while be constant stress, and that kind of stress eventually takes its toll on own body, emotionally with becoming depressing, developing anxieties, or becoming suicidal at worst or over the years causing a myriad of health problems, the most common being constant headaches, some migraines, stress rashs all over the body and stomach ulcers. I know cus I suffered all that while trying to be someone I wasnt for my first husband.
In reality the best policy is to be yourself, never make excuses or feel bad about yourself, be proud of who you are without having to change, and patient to wait to be accepted by those who like you just as you are. Hope this helps you some.

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